parttimehotty
Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
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> TO: GOD
>FROM: THE DOG
>
>Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
>
>Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
>
>Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the ' Chrysler Beagle'?
>
>Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in th e forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
>
>Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
>Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
>Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
>
>Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
>
>1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
>
>2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
>
>3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
>
>4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
>
>5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>
>6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
>
>7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
>
>8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
>
>9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
>
>10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
>
>11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
>
>12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>
>P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
< Message edited by parttimehotty -- 5/22/2008 8:04:01 AM >
_____________________________
Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly
Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar
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