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New to this and loving it so far - 5/22/2008 8:53:38 PM   
yourgrrl


Posts: 22
Status: offline 		Hi There,

i am not exactly sure how to start this.  This is a whole new experience that i came into recently when i began speaking to someone.

This is all very new and exciting to me.

The person who is currently my dominating mentor (hopefully i used the correct terminology) is helping guide me through alot of this and that being said i have given him access to this account to help me through this experience.

Is there anything else that someone out there can suggest?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/22/2008 9:03:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Don't have a dominating mentor.

Don't make a commitment to anyone for at least six months.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to yourgrrl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/22/2008 9:04:38 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Take your time, don't rush things too quicky. 
Do a lot of reading, gain insight into what others do, where you fit into things.  

A lot of it comes from knowing yourself.

Also, don't fall for one wayisms in terms of kinks and point of views.
BDSM itself is rather diverse.

BDSM is just part of life, don't loose track or focus upon other aspects of life.




(in reply to yourgrrl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/22/2008 9:18:04 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:


Don't make a commitment to anyone for at least six months.


lol my first one was only like 3 weeks after i started looking...before i committed... it was the best and most learning experience of my bdsm life.  not to mention i moved 3500 miles away.


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/22/2008 9:23:43 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Drop the babysitter, aka, "dominating mentor." 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/22/2008 9:24:01 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Don't listen too much to other people's advice.  If you're going to make a mistake, at least make your own mistakes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourgrrl

Is there anything else that someone out there can suggest?

(in reply to yourgrrl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 12:18:10 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		why does he need acces to your acount and in what way willit help you.
Did you think about that? Never stop thinking for yourself...and you will be o.k.

I hope you enjoy.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 12:22:56 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Getting into the lazy habit of letting other people do your thinking for you is a VERY bad idea.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to yourgrrl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 12:23:38 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourgrrl

Hi There,

i am not exactly sure how to start this.  This is a whole new experience that i came into recently when i began speaking to someone.

This is all very new and exciting to me.

The person who is currently my dominating mentor (hopefully i used the correct terminology) is helping guide me through alot of this and that being said i have given him access to this account to help me through this experience.

Is there anything else that someone out there can suggest?

A friend who helps you, and in whom you trust, can be a great help to get more familiour with Bdsm, but a 'mentor' who needs access to your account sounds more like a control freak.

So come to chat, and get to know people there, there are enough great people in there who love to help you along the way, and respect your privacy.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`



_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to yourgrrl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 3:10:09 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Yea drop that guy. Come to me Im a submissive mentor. Listen to what Lordandmaster said. Any guy with a fucking elephant as their avatar can't be wrong.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 3:31:50 AM   
SleepyDom


Posts: 118
Status: offline 		Yea I concur with everyboy; you should drop that guy, he's probably just taking advantage of you.  And don't go with Dnomyar either; he's even worse.  Come to me instead; I'd never take advantage of a newbie sub.  Ahem.  (Shut up everybody.)  The worst I'd do to you for "helping" you with your account and such is to make you worship my cock.  That's not so bad; I'm sure you'll enjoy it immensely.  And I'd be doing that for your own good; it's a good practice.  Ahem.

Elephant?  So that's what that is.  I couldn't tell until you pointed it out.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 4:01:42 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Dominating mentors make me shudder.  I just don't get that whole concept.
You're a grown adult...make your own choices in a relationship.  Don't expect anyone else to know what's best for you. 

_____________________________



(in reply to yourgrrl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 4:12:26 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Wait a minute OP. You said that you have an account. Do you have any money in it?  MM eat your heart out. sarah I don't need lessons on life affairs. I don't have a life. Heck Im the only one at work in the office today so far. Whats up with that. Aileen how about if I just mentor you.  

(in reply to sexysarah4fun)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 4:19:18 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		If by mentor you mean give me lots and lots of money then yeah.  Mentor me!

_____________________________



(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 4:30:35 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Aileen you will have to wait. The op has'nt gotten back to me with her account number yet. Sleepy how can you mentor anyone if you keep falling asleep. By the way do you know Dopey , Doc and Sneezy.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 4:48:59 AM   
SleepyDom


Posts: 118
Status: offline 		Yea I knew those guys but Grumpy drove them out--you know, 7 of us dominating Snow White just wasn't working out.  So now it's just Grumpy and me teaming up on Snow White, though Grumpy's been more grumpy than usual and I've been thinking of kicking him out too.  And oh don't worry about me falling asleep, Snow White knows what to do with her mouth on my cock when I get all sleepy.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 7:06:34 AM   
SubBlueEyeBBW


Posts: 15
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		As a newbie myself i would like to say, think for you. Don't keep talking to someone that you don't feel right about or throws up red flags because you are in a hurry to submit and get started. Take your time and learn you. Its a long process weeding out what you like and what you don't like. I've talked to a lot on here, Doms and subs alike and gotten some great info, but also came across some that i just didn't click with. im discovering so much about me, and the type of person i am and you should do the same. Don't be afraid to be yourself, don't be afraid to say no, and don't kowtow to every  D on the site. Some deserve respect, and some don't deserve the time of day. Its all how you want to be treated. Use common sense and protect yourself, and you will be fine. i agree too why does this mentor have your account access? Just because you are submissive dosent mean you give up yourself.

_____________________________

There's something about
Being thrown down and taken
Not against your will
For your will is to be there
To please, to submit, to offer, to relinquish
And you cry out for breath, for more, for Him
And you know you are home

(in reply to SleepyDom)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 7:11:32 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Mmmm SubBlueeye what time is it. Sleepy your next post will be about Snow white leaving you. Seems 7 quickies dose'nt equal  1 orgasum. She said that you never stayed awake long enough to have one.  

(in reply to SubBlueEyeBBW)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 8:35:58 AM   
SleepyDom


Posts: 118
Status: offline 		Lies.  All lies.  Yes that bitch tried to leave me once, mumbling something about "Prince Charming."  But I told her she got her fairy tales mixed up and that set her straight.  I cage her in a little glass coffin when she acts up, and now she's very obedient.  I even ordered her to get some tan so her evil mother wouldn't recognize her.  She looks like a beach bunny now just the way I like it.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 9:30:50 AM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		New Doms are expected (and encouraged) to find mentors, in order to gain the proper experience under a knowledgeable pair of eyes.

What's wrong with a mentor for submissives?
 
The OP hasn't even described the relationship at all, let alone in any sort of detail.  I have no idea if the guy is 'controlling', or just being thorough.  Lots of dominants don't allow their submissives to be contacted directly, and monitor the sub's profiles and email accounts to make sure that their wishes (and their submissives) are being respected.
 
I certainly don't see any reason to offer advice such as 'dump the guy', just from what has been posted here...

(in reply to SleepyDom)
Profile   Post #: 20
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