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RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 9:44:05 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You

New Doms are expected (and encouraged) to find mentors, in order to gain the proper experience under a knowledgeable pair of eyes.



They are???

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 9:47:58 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		A mentor is someone who guides you in becoming more like them.  A business mentor, a life mentor (think "Big Brothers/Big Sisters").  She doesn't want to become a dom, so she doesn't need a dom mentor.  If she wants a mentor, it should be a submissive, someone she wants to become more like.

By the way, why do you say that new doms are expected and encouraged to find mentors?? 

Cali




_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Floggings4You)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 10:05:41 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ok ladies bitch slap that person.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 12:50:24 PM   
SubBlueEyeBBW


Posts: 15
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Mmmm SubBlueeye what time is it..  


Hmmm right now its lunch time, then maybe work time, then of course quitting time, followed by dinner time damn where's playtime? millertime...post time...time in bottle...and im outta time

_____________________________

There's something about
Being thrown down and taken
Not against your will
For your will is to be there
To please, to submit, to offer, to relinquish
And you cry out for breath, for more, for Him
And you know you are home

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 2:30:50 PM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		Well, it's been My experience that they are.  (I'm not talking about guys who call themselves Doms, who've had a profile here--or on sites such as this--for a couple weeks, but who have yet to meet an actual submissive female--let alone play with one...!) 

I learned flogging from a local Dom who had more than ten years' real-time experience in the lifestyle, and I've learned a great deal about BDSM in general from two other local doms, each of whom had several decades of experience.

The books I've read, and the comments of many members here, certainly suggest that finding a mentor is a good idea for new Doms.  Yes, there are things a submissive cannot learn from a Dom, but that shouldn't be to say that a new submissive can't learn anything from a Dom. 

Certainly, having an experienced Dom as a guide and mentor, ought to be better than being alone on one's journey...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You

New Doms are expected (and encouraged) to find mentors, in order to gain the proper experience under a knowledgeable pair of eyes.



They are???

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 6:10:29 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Don't have a dominating mentor.

Don't make a commitment to anyone for at least six months.


I always knew she was a smart woman.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/23/2008 6:24:26 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Hi There,

i am not exactly sure how to start this. This is a whole new experience that i came into recently when i began speaking to someone.

This is all very new and exciting to me.

The person who is currently my dominating mentor (hopefully i used the correct terminology) is helping guide me through alot of this and that being said i have given him access to this account to help me through this experience.

Is there anything else that someone out there can suggest?


yourgrrl,

reread LA's post 6 times in slow contemplation.

CP

(in reply to yourgrrl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/24/2008 3:22:24 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Floggings4You

The OP hasn't even described the relationship at all, let alone in any sort of detail.  I have no idea if the guy is 'controlling', or just being thorough.

Oh so you call the password to a subbies account isn't controling? So he can see how many men wants in her pantys.. and such?

It's good to have a brain of ya own, and think for yourself at all times, and yes asking = free.

So go from there hon.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Floggings4You)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/24/2008 6:24:00 AM   
XaneKandor


Posts: 14
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Drop the babysitter, aka, "dominating mentor."



Im going with Cali on this one. Its about self discovery. Watch, learn, ask questions. But do not let someone else determine where your feet will tread.


_____________________________

The Professor

"Knowledge is power. But there is no greater power then the knowledge of ones self. "

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/24/2008 6:47:01 AM   
h437737


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/6/2008
Status: offline 		okay, I'm confused. I'm totally new. So, what is being said here is that I should play to learn my limits rather than take the time to find a Dom or "mentor" that I click with and establish trust with to take me through that process?  And yes, I keep reading the posts that say know your limits, but how can one know their limits if they've not tried it?

(in reply to XaneKandor)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/24/2008 6:50:36 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: h437737

okay, I'm confused. I'm totally new. So, what is being said here is that I should play to learn my limits rather than take the time to find a Dom or "mentor" that I click with and establish trust with to take me through that process?  And yes, I keep reading the posts that say know your limits, but how can one know their limits if they've not tried it?


No, you always decide about yourself. Others can give just an opinion.
IF you are happy with your Mentor and feel he does teach you what you expect, then continue.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to h437737)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/24/2008 7:05:59 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Sleepy:  7 of us dominating Snow White just wasn't working out. 


I think its time to set the record straight.   I found this note under my cottage doormat (her name is Velma).  I'm reprinting it here in its entirety.  Judge for yourselves.

SLEEPY:   You are SO not telling the full story.  'Fess up, Sleeps.  It wasn't really a 7D/1s relationship, was it?   First of all you left out the age play stuff   Fairy Godmother indeed.   And the mutual masterbation ("whistle while you jerk....)    There was that whole sideplay thing between Doc and Bashful that no one likes to talk about.   And you know that Snow is at least a switch.   The whole poly Dwarf thing never really worked out.   Just a lot of jealousy and pickaxes in the end.   And worst of all Snow got busted.   Well, she was servicing seven minors.  What did you expect?

/signed/

Yours in Bondage, Doc, Dopey, Bashful, Sleazy, Ropy and Switchy.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to SleepyDom)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/24/2008 7:14:37 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Sleepy:  7 of us dominating Snow White just wasn't working out. 


Dear Prince Charming:

I am so tired of this drudgery. Cleaning up after those dirty little men. AND that song they sing is driving me crazy. I wanted to be Dominated but Sneezy had a cold, Doc was doing a play by play using medical terminology which really killed the mood, and Bashful was in the corner turning beet red and Dopey kept sticking it in my belly button. Oh, and their little thangs well, "oh, thats not your finger?"

Please rescue me ASAP. Oh, gotta go. Someones at the door selling beautiful apples.

Yours truly,

Snow White

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 5/24/2008 7:16:30 AM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/24/2008 8:01:10 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Dear Snowy,

That's why there are 7 of them. Although they are not well endowed, they can each give you 1" at a time x 7, that ummm, comes to 7". You should be satisfied with that until I am done with that hot witch who has that mirror over the bed and keeps saying " Who's the fairest of them all?" while she pegs me. Fuck, she's smokin' hawt !

Be patient, you're turn wil come,
PC




_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: New to this and loving it so far - 5/24/2008 11:11:24 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: h437737
okay, I'm confused. I'm totally new. So, what is being said here is that I should play to learn my limits rather than take the time to find a Dom or "mentor" that I click with and establish trust with to take me through that process?  And yes, I keep reading the posts that say know your limits, but how can one know their limits if they've not tried it?

How can you know what dom or mentor will work with you and won't try to take advantage of you if you don't know how to set your own good boundaries and keep to them for yourself?

If you do know how to set your own good boundaries and keep to them for yourself, why do you need a specific mentor?

I'm not against the concept of mentor totally, simply that most people striving for that position are usually the worst ones for the job.  And the idea that you can't trust yourself to explore the scene but you CAN trust yourself to find someone to help you is a conflicting idea.

And making any commitment to anyone right off is generally just a really bad idea.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to h437737)
Profile   Post #: 35
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