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RE: Which is more important? - 5/25/2008 6:22:01 AM

pinkwind

Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
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i have never tried to prise them all apart to evaluate their import within our relationship, the reason being that they are so deeply entwined between us it would be impossible. Personally they are all integral parts of the whole and each and all of immense importance in whatever proportions that form a happy and healthy dynamic.

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RE: Which is more important? - 5/25/2008 6:26:17 AM

Aileen1968

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Commitment and devotion would be nice.

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RE: Which is more important? - 5/25/2008 6:34:08 AM

marieToo

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How about hot sex vs love? Is comittment and devotion our only choice?

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RE: Which is more important? - 5/25/2008 4:22:30 PM

peacelili

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Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

I'm with you...this makes my brain hurt.

What I need, first and foremost, is a connection on a fundamental level, a "click". In all likelihood, that's the beginning of love, though we may not call it that. I don't expect full blown love off the bat...that's not really feasible.
But without connection, commitment and devotion become a burden, become alienating and off-putting.

i would have to agree here...i dont have much experience in this ls but i was in a marriege i was very committed to ...after a few years there was no connection and the devotion and commitment i felt became a burden....eventually (8 yrs later) i left and moved on... ok..so i may be a glutton for punishment...lol...

live well, laff often, & cherish what the world offers
lili

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RE: Which is more important? - 5/25/2008 5:53:20 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Commitment and Devotion is a type of Love I think.

I think of these three, if you were to divide them commitment is most important because that means the willingness to do the work necessary in a relationship.

Wow, great question. I think TammyJo hit closest home for me. I won't feel commitment, unless I feel some form of love there.

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RE: Which is more important? - 5/25/2008 8:03:07 PM

Imajican

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From: Lincoln, Nebraska
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
How about hot sex vs love? Is comittment and devotion our only choice?

I don't think any of this stuff has to be this or that. Some want one, some the other, and some want both. I'm in the both department. We're very affectionate with each other, but I also push him so hard sexually. I take him to where I think he's going to reach his breaking point, but a moment later I will be holding him and keeping him safe from having taken him there.

What's most rare with my current relationship is that I haven't grown tired or bored with the way we are together. The longer things go on, the more I want him. It's a new and precarious position for me, since I don't usually feel this strongly for people (since, y'see, I've been accused of being emotionally aloof and all that.)

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RE: Which is more important? - 5/28/2008 5:02:10 PM

beeble

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From: UK
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quote:

MladyHathor wrote: Commitment and Devotion....or ...Love?
And which do you or did you want to happen first

I'm not sure the question makes a whole lot of sense to me. I don't really see how love can exist without commitment or devotion without love. Or why I'd have to choose between these things.

quote:

A recent chat with a learning slave--stated that if a Master/Mistress "loves" there is too much chance for "allowances" if a submissive/slave loves---there is too much "wiggle" room.

Isn't it more important to let the relationship develop naturally, along the lines the two participants want it to, rather than insisting that it conform to some rigid definition of what a D/s relationship somehow should be?

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RE: Which is more important? - 5/28/2008 5:15:56 PM

HieroV

Posts: 39
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For me D/S is love distilled - think only of me, desire only me, obey only me. This deep intimacy, this emotional nakedness is a big part of the draw of D/S for me.

Worship only me, you are only allowed pleasure if I allow it, give me pleasure because it give you pleasure to do so…it can be very delicious but it can lead to hurt feelings on a submissive/slave’s part if they take it “seriously” and the dominant is only “playing” at it. (That’s how I look at it - casual play doesn’t fulfill me.)

So for me…friendship first…which leads to warm feelings…which could lead to love….which could lead to commitment and devotion…I have found the more I love someone, and the more that love and respect is returned...the more biddable I find myself becoming. I'm a sucker for a woman saying I am cherished or being called dearest. (Being called slut is fun too...it is a matter of balance.) When I have interacted with those who felt love would get in the way of the kink - I felt uncomfortable.

HieroV

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Post #: 48