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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 7:59:26 AM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

candystripper,

you are misunderstandig me. Im not saying my way is the only way. I understand that relationships vary from person to person. Look at the oint I was trying to get across I think that LA understood where I was coming from when her and I were discussing communication with limits. Thats what I was trying to say. If you are searching for your one then by all means find happiness just dont close yourself off to possibilities by drawing a line in the sand. If you do draw one then be open to discussion without being biased about it because it strays from the norm of activities.

LA,

I am in a position of authority but even before I was it was still easy to meet others here unlike the tension I felt at a munch in a diner stuck at a table with some I liked and other I didnt. I tend to like the atmosphere that I found here and it seems much easier to float about with the music playing and drinks flowing. Im a very open and honest person and I dont expect everyone to agree with the approach I use to meet others. But I dont close myself up to the possibilities to meeting others by giving a little in areas that might make me a little uncomfortable for an instance.Maybe a bond between subs/slaves was a bit much. Its the commonality that all subs/slaves share is what I meant. I would think that most would draw strength and share experiencs with one another to reach the same common goal.....ie sertivitude. If you are experienced then I imagine alot of these women/men look up to you a bit and like to hear from your experiences. Thats what I was trying to convey.I dont mind social closeness from another Master/Dom/Mistress/Top that has something to learn from my experiences and I from theirs. We could be total strangers and meet here in r/t and I would shake their hands and discuss anything that was on their minds or mine.

Wolfie,

Thanks my friend. I am only sharing my experiences within this community and patience is a virtue. I thought as a young man I would never develop this but I learned it in time

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 261

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 8:21:16 AM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
Its the commonality that all subs/slaves share is what I meant. I would think that most would draw strength and share experiencs with one another to reach the same common goal.....ie sertivitude.

That's the thing - it's *not* a commonality.

I love my social bonds with everyone I've formed them with. S-type, d-type, neither and both. We form them around commonalities, and mutual like and respect for one another.

However, I don't have enough in common with someone else *just* because we're both switches - or *just* because we're both in relationships as s-types - to form a social bond. The fact hat we both serve isn't enough.

Heather

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 262

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 8:30:57 AM

Morgaine289

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackbeardOnt

I don't see this as so much a "Your not my dom syndrome", but rather the "Show me the respect I haven't earned syndrome".

It's possible to be polite without using honorifics. In fact overuse makes honorifics completely meaningless. Anyone in the military can tell you that. Calling an officer Sir or Ma'am can mean anything from Sir or Ma'am to incompetent festering feceshead.

The mere capping of a nick doesn't entitle anyone to any more or any less respect than any other human being. Insisting that someone should address you by an honorific...well, you're asking for it.

For many this is part of the allure of the lifestyle, but to insist that someone address you by an honorific when for whatever reason they choose not to is a bit classless. Eventually you'll run into submissives in relationships where honorifics are not part of the dynamic...in that case you're going to insist that a submissive address you as Sir or Master when she doesn't do so with her own dominant?

Thank you for this words. I tried since 13 pages to come up with something like that. The whole topic is a question of personal insecurity and there is no connection with Politeness or
Protocol.

Morgaine289

(in reply to BlackbeardOnt)

Post #: 263

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 9:09:19 AM

Jacques1000

Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline

I think politeness goes a long way. . however just as it is unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to speak English and adopt western morays (why would they want to) it is unrealistic to expect everyone to have the same BDSM sub-culture. Forms of address my strangers are not a big deal to me. If they use honorifics like Sir or Master I assume they are being respectful. I would only demand this from someone to whom the sobriquet applies--and they would know well ahead of time. So--berating people for not recognised your perceived lordliness and mightiness seems facile in my book, and more than likely, is destined to alien people.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 264

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 10:09:13 AM

Belladonna82

Posts: 171
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Yes, Master has a grande idea...Master makes our life public...we like it that way.....And Master doesnt say "You have to call me Master or Sir(SirSix acctualy is a double meaning here but...)It is nice for people to not be a rear end when talking....i call all *respectable* Dom/Mistresses that have atleast basic knowledge of this lifestyle by title...but thats the way i was trained....Even a slave has a brain and can gather just from a few sentences if they are fake or real....so come on....We are all humans and make mistakes but use good judgement and relize that until proven other wise.....respect those in athority and by commen since...Master/Dom/Top/Mistress etc are suppost to be the athority figures in this lifestyle.....Ya'll know the song R-E-S-P-E-C-T...WELL THATS WHAT IT MEANS TO ME!

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 265

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 10:11:13 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

hmmmmmmmm, that is odd.

i had gotten an email from a female slave about something i had wanted info on and she had referred to me as such and i took it as a compliment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

Along a similar line would be the you may be a sister but you are not MY sister syndrome.

Some lifestyle philosophies embrace all females as sisters (i.e. subbie sisters) and arbitrarily refer to each other as such. While other philosophies believe it is a term not to be taken lightly because it is a right and reserved for only those slaves owned by the same master or girls under the same house.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)

Post #: 266

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 10:12:34 AM

Jacques1000

Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline

well, if he wants to make my message to him public, then that is his prerogative. All I would ask is that the complaint's details not be used.

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 267

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 10:14:49 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Belladonna82
Master/Dom/Top/Mistress etc are suppost to be the athority figures in this lifestyle

They are? I don't think so.

Master/Dom/Top/Mistress/etc are supposed to be the authority figure IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

Now, within small specialized groups, perhaps there is a protocol that gives all doms authority inherent.

"This lifestyle" is hardly that group.

What about someone like me who is a chair? A slave who teaches a class on bondage? Do they not have authority because they aren't a dom?

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 268

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 10:17:59 AM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Belladonna82
Master/Dom/Top/Mistress etc are suppost to be the athority figures in this lifestyle

No, they are not.

They are supposed to be the authority figures in *their relationships*. Beyond that, it's up to the individual philosophies - to each their own.

Like I said before - if you have a certain philosophy, and you apply it to *your situation*, *your relationship* (and it's not hurting anyone else), then you're right about it.

The minute you apply it to anyone outside that situation, that relationship - you become *automatically* wrong. By default, no exception.

The minute you say "X is supposed to be Y", and expect it to apply to others outside your relationships - you're wrong.

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 269

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 10:19:58 AM

Jacques1000

Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline

indeed so...and some need to do more archaeological digging on their current relationships without proscribing what is and isn't.

I agree with you LA, the balance of power may not always be equal, but the importance and sphere of influence of others should not be under-estimated.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 270

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 11:39:26 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

That's the thing - it's *not* a commonality.

I love my social bonds with everyone I've formed them with. S-type, d-type, neither and both. We form them around commonalities, and mutual like and respect for one another.

However, I don't have enough in common with someone else *just* because we're both switches - or *just* because we're both in relationships as s-types - to form a social bond. The fact hat we both serve isn't enough.

Heather

EXACTLY , well said

(in reply to ImpGrrl)

Post #: 271

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 11:40:43 AM

sudja

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

but what I dont see is the harm in calling someone Sir or Master......can you not be polite and get your point across without being rude by saying your not my Dom therefore I owe you no respect

Because you're not entitled, and it is not rude to say so, or refuse your inappropriate request.

Because I don't owe you anything but common courtesy. Because you are just another person. Your status as a "Dom" doesn't mean you are better than me and/or worthy of any more respect than John or Jane Doe.

That's why.

Because the only person who is entitled to special words is my Owner.

Because there is "harm" in giving that away randomly.

sudja

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 272

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 11:47:35 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

i cannot believe this has gone on for 14 freakin! pages.
Good lord when is enough - enough

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 273

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 11:52:17 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

cannot believe this has gone on for 14 freakin! pages.
Good lord when is enough - enough

Obviously when the insecure feel that we have all shown appropriate respect...see ya on pages 20, 35 & 50

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 274

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 12:06:40 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

If other people want to use it, great. But just like I asked you not to call me "little one" because of the wrong assumption of social closeness, "sis" goes in the same basket. Just use my name thanks.

How about - 'My favourite board whore?'
*ducks*

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 275

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 12:15:30 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

lmao

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 276

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 12:35:40 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel
How about - 'My favourite board whore?

That would be a good thing...but only because we have established a sense of social closeness over time, in both private and public, and it has been an established form of recognition and connection.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 277

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 1:24:37 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

...And I am extremely honoured and blessed that has occured...

Peace and lascivious Love to the most beautiful...

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 278

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 1:33:48 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

~ RWL at Angel and LA ~

Any more of this and you'll have me blushing (WEW)

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 279

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 1:51:10 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

I can understand where you are coming from and I can also see that maybe you might read a little further into this extremely long thread and see this has been hashed out already lol

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to sudja)

Post #: 280

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