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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 6:51:42 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I did email you telling you that and I confronted you on the message boards as well.....im not sure what your definition of slave is but mine is one that dosent place limitations upon a TPE relationship....if you do then you are actually the one in control......then the Dominant is but a facilitator in the relationship by you giving in upon your limitations or time frame...im not saying that you are wrong or that real life dosent take presidence either....but look at the facts.......thats all im saying and I could care less if anyone else agrees with me on the subject...I speak from my point of view and years of participating in various events.........I can see matching your interests with another that has the same likes and dislikes but again I state if you limit the relationship then the TPE isnt there........this isnt about being a door mat either......im not into flaming people either....merely stating facts

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)
Profile   Post #: 241
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 7:59:14 AM   
petwolf22


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		Hasn't the fact that everyone's specific definitions of slave, submissive, dom/me, etc. been established as being somewhat different to everyone else? We all have our own ultimate meanings that we attach to who we are, and of course it's going to be different than yours. Of course, you come from a Gorean standpoint, that makes how you define a slave even more differently.

"Look at the facts" seems to be look at your facts and what you believe to be truth, not what anyone else happens to think.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 242
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 8:13:17 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Trying to make me seem like a person of another understanding because im Gorean is a little far fetched really petwolf....its the way that someone thats a slave "WONT" engage in something. This is the problem...by reading the sentence in the context it is written in implies that this person is the controlling factor in the relationship. If it was brought about by requesting that this person would not like to engage in this specific activity tends to make me believe that the controlling factor of the relationship namely the Top/Dom/Mistress/Master is the one whom decides if the activity should or should not be preformed. The context is the important part it relates to our position within any lifestyle.

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to petwolf22)
Profile   Post #: 243
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 8:46:04 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

The term MASTER should be reserved for ones Master not for just anyone who THINKS he is a Master by self anointment...which is usually the case for those who insist on utilizing the term arbitrarily. To me, it cheapens the meaning when not used in the proper context. With that said, there are those i have known over the years who were not my Master but out of respect for their status (which they have earned) in the r/l community, i feel more then comfortable referring to them as Master as a title of respect...of course with permission.



See - I don't agree with this, either.

I don't agree that there *is* a "should" or a "should not" in this. At all.

In my world, I address people as equals, until and unless we mutually decide otherwise.

In Six's world, he and his property use honorifics, and believe that there's a "station" inherent in such.

Neither are wrong - as long as they are only applied to our specific worlds. The *minute* either one of us tries to apply our own philosophy to anyone else - *that* is when we are automatically *wrong*.

So - it's *not* disrespectful for me to refuse honorifics - but it *would* be disrespectful of me to tell bella she shouldn't use them. It's *not* disrespectful for Six to expect bella to use them - but it *is* disrespectful of him to insist that it's the way it should be done, or else it's rude.

See?

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 244
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 8:48:35 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
to reply to another as Master/Mistress/Dom/Sir/Ma'am is proper protocol


This is where you become automatically wrong - when you apply a "should" anywhere but your own relationship.

quote:

I expect that she addresses the free as this whether in r/t or not


And this is where you're *right*.

But - to take it beyond what you insist in your relationship, and insist it's right everywhere else - *that's* where it's inappropriate.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 245
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 8:54:33 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I would disagree with the light switch on or off finality of this statement that is all too prevalent in this community. I can be Domme or sub in the same conversation or even in the same day depending on who the interaction is with.


I'll agree with this, for me.

It's possible to have multiple simultaneous relationships - and to interact with those people simultaneously - without losing any of the dynamic with any of them.

That includes beingin the same room with Sir and a boy who is submissive to me - and not changing a thing about how I relate to either of them.

My d/s is based on each individual. We all relate differently to different individuals - we don't have to compromise our relational dynamics with any of them.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 246
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 2:29:19 PM   
BlackbeardOnt


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline 		I don't see this as so much a "Your not my dom syndrome", but rather the "Show me the respect I haven't earned syndrome".

It's possible to be polite without using honorifics. In fact overuse makes honorifics completely meaningless. Anyone in the military can tell you that. Calling an officer Sir or Ma'am can mean anything from Sir or Ma'am to incompetent festering feceshead.

The mere capping of a nick doesn't entitle anyone to any more or any less respect than any other human being. Insisting that someone should address you by an honorific...well, you're asking for it.

For many this is part of the allure of the lifestyle, but to insist that someone address you by an honorific when for whatever reason they choose not to is a bit classless. Eventually you'll run into submissives in relationships where honorifics are not part of the dynamic...in that case you're going to insist that a submissive address you as Sir or Master when she doesn't do so with her own dominant?

(in reply to shaohua)
Profile   Post #: 247
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 5:27:51 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		"When in Rome..........." If you attend a function at my place, my rules apply (My sandbox syndrome ). My rules state specifically and with no avenue for negotiations, that each person will show respect for others in a manner which is normal for that person but not offensive to my home. No one is required to bow or address anyone by a title unless that person (sub/slave) believes that it is right for him/her to do so. the only exceptions is the Goreans wgho as we all; know require all Gorean slaves to addrerss another Gorean Free as Master or Mistress and kneel.

"Render unto Ceasar what is Ceasar's and render unto God what is God's". If I have a theme function or a Gorean Function, then all bets are off and the protocols set out for tghe function will be adheared to or you will be given an offer you would be wise not to refuse. Baqsicallyt if we have a medieval theme knight and some overly testosterones and ill mannered male pisses me or others off, he will face me in the combat pit with sword in hand or be publically branded a coward. In some things I am unrelenting and I do not back down. Bad manners in my home is not tolerated nor forgiven.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to BlackbeardOnt)
Profile   Post #: 248
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 6:31:23 PM   
MasterEsqMDsgirl


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline 		Along a similar line would be the you may be a sister but you are not MY sister syndrome.

Some lifestyle philosophies embrace all females as sisters (i.e. subbie sisters) and arbitrarily refer to each other as such. While other philosophies believe it is a term not to be taken lightly because it is a right and reserved for only those slaves owned by the same master or girls under the same house.

_____________________________

To endure for Owner's pleasures is the trait of a submissive, but to derive pleasure from that endurance because it is pleasing to ones OWNER is the trait of a slave.


(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 249
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 6:51:26 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

Along a similar line would be the you may be a sister but you are not MY sister syndrome.

Some lifestyle philosophies embrace all females as sisters (i.e. subbie sisters) and arbitrarily refer to each other as such. While other philosophies believe it is a term not to be taken lightly because it is a right and reserved for only those slaves owned by the same master or girls under the same house.


That's an interesting point lass. I'll have to brood on this but it would make a good thread on it's own don't you think?


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 250
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 7:30:42 PM   
MasterEsqMDsgirl


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl

Along a similar line would be the you may be a sister but you are not MY sister syndrome.

Some lifestyle philosophies embrace all females as sisters (i.e. subbie sisters) and arbitrarily refer to each other as such. While other philosophies believe it is a term not to be taken lightly because it is a right and reserved for only those slaves owned by the same master or girls under the same house.


That's an interesting point lass. I'll have to brood on this but it would make a good thread on it's own don't you think?



Actually, i did consider making it a topic for the mere consideration many girls are very unaware the inference can be considered impertinent and disrespectful (to some)...even if only innocently, she was showing warmth and friendliness to a fellow sub or slave.



_____________________________

To endure for Owner's pleasures is the trait of a submissive, but to derive pleasure from that endurance because it is pleasing to ones OWNER is the trait of a slave.


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 251
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 8:45:00 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterEsqMDsgirl
Actually, i did consider making it a topic for the mere consideration many girls are very unaware the inference can be considered impertinent and disrespectful (to some)...even if only innocently, she was showing warmth and friendliness to a fellow sub or slave.

Yeah my general response is "I appreciate the sentiment, but please, just use my name."

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 252
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 8:55:41 PM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		I can see everyones point but personally if they are all in servitude then why wouldnt they be sister's or brothers? Do they all not share the same task to serve?

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to MasterEsqMDsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 253
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 9:02:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
I can see everyones point but personally if they are all in servitude then why wouldnt they be sister's or brothers? Do they all not share the same task to serve?

No. If you haven't noticed by now, the motivations and ways and orientations of submissives are VASTLY different from person to person.

And personally it's more an emotional issue for me. I have a biological sister, that's a special unique bond for me. I don't want someone being presumptuous that, just because they happen to find out they are a submissive orientation, means that they share any sort of special bond with me.

If other people want to use it, great. But just like I asked you not to call me "little one" because of the wrong assumption of social closeness, "sis" goes in the same basket. Just use my name thanks.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 254
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 9:12:18 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I would disagree with the light switch on or off finality of this statement that is all too prevalent in this community. I can be Domme or sub in the same conversation or even in the same day depending on who the interaction is with.


I'll agree with this, for me.

It's possible to have multiple simultaneous relationships - and to interact with those people simultaneously - without losing any of the dynamic with any of them.

That includes beingin the same room with Sir and a boy who is submissive to me - and not changing a thing about how I relate to either of them.

My d/s is based on each individual. We all relate differently to different individuals - we don't have to compromise our relational dynamics with any of them.


AMEN & WOO HOO FINALLY!!! Glad to see that someone else gets what us switchy girls are about.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 255
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/8/2005 9:38:30 PM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		It is interesting though La and I do appericiate your posts from your point of view and your right there is a vast difference in submissives...........I find it intreguing how that some can shy away from social closeness...I suppose thats what I like about my job that i can walk up to total strangers and make freinds with them in a short amount of time here unlike attending other social functions where everyone is stand offish.....I think we have all been there on that one.......when I attend a munch alot of them are stand-offish but yet when im here at work for the most part the friendly attutude is a great thing to experience.............I suppose the social luberciant is different in certian situations...I issue others respect untill they have shown me that they dont deserve it......I would still like to think that most submissive share a bond of sorts but to each their own huh?

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 256
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 2:16:41 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

its the way that someone thats a slave "WONT" engage in something. This is the problem...by reading the sentence in the context it is written in implies that this person is the controlling factor in the relationship.


I can't agree with you more Sirsix72.

Regardless of whether your perspective/post is or is not of the Gor influence.

However (unfortunately?) other people here don't see it that way. We can't make them conform to our views just like they can't make us conform to their views (sigh, regardless of what the dictionary says :-/ )

I have to congratulate you on an 11 page response/post topic. I just don't have that much patience for people that disagree with me ;-)

Side note to Ironbear - I agree with "when in Rome" (my home/your home/anyone's home) if you don't like Rome's rules go visit another city; sooner is better than later let me get your bags for you don't let the door hit you on the way out ok baibai then!)

D (owner of j)




_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 257
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 5:06:41 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
I find it intreguing how that some can shy away from social closeness

There's a large difference between respecting social closeness and allowing it to develop naturally, and presuming it immediately based on some random factor of commonality.

I'm not sure why you equate not presuming social closness as the same as shying away from it?

quote:

when I attend a munch alot of them are stand-offish but yet when im here at work for the most part the friendly attutude is a great thing to experience

It really depends on the group. We've had people who go from BR to BESS and say that BESS is standoffish and we've had people go from BESS to BR and say that BR is standoffish. You fit in well at the swingers club- you're in a position of authority, it's a very regular homebase for you where sex is rampant. Munches are more an equalized social area where kinks and sex are actually pretty neutralized. We all have environments we fit into quickly and some we don't fit in quite as quickly.

quote:

I would still like to think that most submissive share a bond of sorts but to each their own huh?

I'd like to think everyone would simply be who they are and not try and form some bond out of nothing with me. Suggesting I should share a bond with someone just because we have the same submissive orientation is as illogical as suggesting or hoping I share a special bond with someone because we both are bisexual.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 258
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 5:17:00 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I can see matching your interests with another that has the same likes and dislikes but again I state if you limit the relationship then the TPE isnt there.

SirSix72


i swore i'd stop replying to this sort of post; but i am having trouble keeping quiet. When i find my One, i fully expect that, while He will listen to my opinions or reasoning, He will make the final decisions as to housing, spending, going out, finances, volunteerism, working, etc., etc., etc. Many aspects of life not directly related to sex or play....areas where i would have limits that He might or might not push, depending on many factors.

IMO, such a relationship would be a TPE, or as close to TPE as i care to get. i see no reason to discard this approach as unworkable or feel that i am dooming my One to an inability to dominate me.

SirSix i truely do not understand Your inability to admit that, while others may do thigs differently, we are all involved in BDSM and we are all respectable members. i cannot understand why You feel the need to insist, over and over, that Yours is the only way.

i would really like to understand that better.

candystriper

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 259
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/9/2005 5:23:52 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl


quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I would disagree with the light switch on or off finality of this statement that is all too prevalent in this community. I can be Domme or sub in the same conversation or even in the same day depending on who the interaction is with.


I'll agree with this, for me.

It's possible to have multiple simultaneous relationships - and to interact with those people simultaneously - without losing any of the dynamic with any of them.

That includes beingin the same room with Sir and a boy who is submissive to me - and not changing a thing about how I relate to either of them.

My d/s is based on each individual. We all relate differently to different individuals - we don't have to compromise our relational dynamics with any of them.


This is how it works for me as well. It is individual and relationship specific. I prefer to just let it be an organic response.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 260
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