RE: raped for being sub?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: raped for being sub?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: raped for being sub?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 6:32:11 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

He starts raping her and she yells "wait, I want to tie you up you studdly hunk o'man flesh."

If a woman is in such a head space that she fears saying "no", I'm not sure how your proposed line would come out.

I'm not saying it won't. I'm just not sure how.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 41

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 6:49:52 AM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Oops, you replied while I was editing. Her reply made more sense to just the quip I tossed off.

So what movie was it?

iwill-
this is not a thread for silly posts or stupid questions. This is serious. Maybe you can't understand that because you're male. Or seriously deluded. I'm not passing judgement, just letting you know that your post wasn't appropriate.
Berlin

< Message edited by MzBerlin -- 7/25/2004 7:23:06 AM >

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 42

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 6:53:28 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: melycious
hmm i must have missed this in sub 101... pushing limits is always supposed to be a good time for the dom and sub? i definately disagree.. heck if it was fun to push my own limits always..i would just do it.. and have no limits AND not have to deal with the relationship as well...
...

Melycious, while I understand what you are trying to communicate, in my opinion, you are missing one very important element.

There needs to be a negotiation whereby a sub/slave gives permission to and/or entrusts a dominant to push their limits. Otherwise, it is rape.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to melycious)

Post #: 43

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 6:54:22 AM

January

Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin

iwill-
this is not a thread for posts

I disagree.

Not passing judgement on you or anything, Berlin, but could you make some sense once in awhile?

(in reply to MzBerlin)

Post #: 44

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 6:58:22 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

MzBerlin,

I was being nice. I explained how she wqas not responding to a serious comment with a quip. If you do not understand that that is not my problem. In the meantime may I suggest you read some of my more serious posts, they might be more to your sense of gravitas's liking.

I suggest this one

quote:

Two scenarios with HNGs

One with a faux Dom. He's chatted with her and in his mind (his mind only) it is OK. Everyone else acknowledges it would be rape. In his mind she has no right to say "No" to his Domness because he uses the handle SirMasterMaster. She says "No," but he feels he can ignore it.

Two with a faux sub. He's chatted with her and in his mind (his mind only) she is secretly a switch. In his mind she has no right to say "No" to his subness because he uses the handle superservant. She says "No," but he feels he can ignore the order. (OK, subs, ever ignore an order?) He starts raping her and she yells "wait, I want to tie you up you studdly hunk o'man flesh." He stops and lets her tie him up. Rape over.

The police will have no problem apprehending the guy hog-tied and wearing no pants.

Would that gambit work on SirMasterMaster. (Maybe Doms could clue me in if they think it would.)

If the issue was just seeing a movie, not a "date" a sub male is safer. If it is a date she SirMasterMaster is probably more of what she wants than superservant.

(This is, what, the third board where someone was raped by a guy they met online. While three is not a solid scientific sampling, the next one with a submissive rapist will be the first.)

Edited for pertinance to MzBerlin. If anything adressing Synergy survives, I offer my apologies to him.

< Message edited by iwillserveu -- 7/25/2004 7:00:20 AM >

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MzBerlin)

Post #: 45

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 7:10:25 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: January

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin
iwill-
this is not a thread for posts

I disagree.
Not passing judgement on you or anything, Berlin, but could you make some sense once in awhile?

Add the word *such* in there and it makes sense. This is not a thread *such* for posts

There is a certain amount of tact that is required when dealing with such delicate subjects, don't you agree?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to January)

Post #: 46

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 7:35:06 AM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: January

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin

iwill-
this is not a thread for posts

I disagree.

Not passing judgement on you or anything, Berlin, but could you make some sense once in awhile?

January-
It was a mis-type, which I corrected as soon as I saw it.
As for making sense once in a while, I don't see my posts as not making sense. Sometimes they're a little muddy, but I am clear on that in each post. Your comment was attacking and I'm not here for that. I don't mind constructive criticism, but you didn't give an example and inferred that I don't make sense much of the time. If I don't make sense to YOU, please feel free to contact me with any questions. I'm always open to that. I feel like you were attacking just to attack. At least that how it LOOKS.
As Always
Berlin

(in reply to January)

Post #: 47

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 8:13:03 AM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

iwill-
You're ignoring what I said and obviously just seeking attention.
As Always
Berlin

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 48

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 8:16:46 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

How about your subs, Sinergy, they ever ignore a direct order?

In James Clavell's book Noble House, he describes a shipping company where
there is one penalty; they eschew the normal british penchant for floggings,
whippings, and other torture. The penalty for breaking the rules on one of those
ships involves being put ashore at the first port the ship comes to and never being
allowed back into the company. This is horrible for the sailor it happens to because
life on the ships of the Noble House are profitable, safe, and ideal for the time period.

You addressed the question to me specifically, iwill, so I will answer it.

I am extremely laid back and easy going. I want a life that is laid back and easy
going. I dont generally spend a lot of time giving "direct orders" because that is
not my way. I have raised children who can attest that I dont give direct orders, yet
people have remarked to me from a very young age that I seem to work well with them and they do anything I ask them to do. I have trained a lot of dogs. The dogs I train tend to be extremely well behaved for me, and generally know a lot of silly tricks like standing on their hind legs and doing pirouettes across the floor. I dont use negative
reinforcement when I am training anything.

My two subs knew this about me, and both ended up breaking the rules (which with
me takes some doing; see point about being laid back and easy going) and were
"put ashore."

Looked at from the opposite perspective, perhaps this is why I am unpartnered, because I refuse to engage in that sort of peurile power trip. However, we get back to...

It is just me, I could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 49

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 8:55:22 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

That white haired guy? Lol. You mean Steve Martin? Well excuuuuuse me! Man, now I feel old.

Me too, brother!

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 50

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 9:08:18 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

M

quote:

iwill-
You're ignoring what I said and obviously just seeking attention.
As Always
Berlin

MzBerlin,

Do I hear the pot calling the kettle black?

I'll admit I'm an attention slut. Will you? Should I post my serious reply again or do you want to completely hijack this thread? What part of my justifying a one sentance reply (that was justifyable, btw). Now grow a skin that is not nearly as sensative.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MzBerlin)

Post #: 51

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 9:12:10 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

My dear Iwill-

While both of those scenerios are plausible, they don't cover the case of 'sub rage'. I am sure that some of our ladies have seen it, or know of someone who has.

In the case I know well, a friend, working her way into the pro end, had a client, checked him out, I observed (covertly, for her security) their first session. It went well, they had another a week later, and all was well. a few days later, he called, she agreed to meet, and meet they did.

the session was continueation of what they had established as hot for him- binding him, verbally humilating him, some light slapping, some foot worship. All seemed well. she untied him, and as before told him to jerk off after she left, and shower and leave.

his first punch broke her nose, the second shattered her left orbit. he broke some ribs kicking her, and fractured her pubic. the bone in her hand probaly broke when she fell. He picked her up and threw her against the wall, screaming that she was a bitch, a whore, using him, and that she got off making him do these sick things.

The rib likely puncured her lung while he was raping her.

She survived. He was killed in an auto accident the following night, so he was never charged. She's a lot better now, it's been three years, and over a year since she called me at four am.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 52

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 9:20:59 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat
I am sure that some of our ladies have seen it, or know of someone who has.

Lawrence,

My heart goes out to your friend. That is perhaps one of my biggest fears. I’ve posted about this a little earlier on in this thread. I’ve had a close encounter once but managed to get the guy out quickly.

It’s funny how some people assume that because we are Domme women, that we can battle our way out of any situation. The reality is that most men I dominate are way bigger then me (which is what I like actually) and if they decide to turn on me, I’m in trouble.

Screening is important. And I’m sure your friend did all of the right things. Sometimes you never know. I once witnessed self-hatred in a sub’s eyes after a scene and deemed him unstable. I ended things quickly and his response was very angry. I know that it was a good call on my part.

Thank you for sharing this. I think it might give some a perspective they never considered before.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 53

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 9:40:52 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

Milady A.-

I actually checked with her before posting it, and she's doing real well it seems. She was as cautious as I would have thought nesscery, and there was _nothing_ like a red flag from this rather nice, married for 7 years established businessman in our community.

I am still horrified that I told her that he seemed OK.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 54

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 10:27:19 AM

sbmssvkitten

Posts: 61
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: North West UK
Status: offline

looks all confused then shocked and hides

_____________________________

tini lil innocent sweet kitten,
view my slave certificate and
my website

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 55

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 4:57:16 PM

ScorpioMaster

Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline

sbmssvkittenfirst I want to say I am sorry this had to happen to you and I hope we are here for each other when something like this happens. I knew of a young lady I meet online were she was looking for a Dom and meet this guy who raped her when they first met. This had scared her so bad that she tried to take her life. The good news is she did not succeed and the bad news she is scared for life. She hides away from the world by staying home for she lost her ability to trust people period.

< Message edited by ScorpioMaster -- 7/25/2004 5:00:26 PM >

(in reply to sbmssvkitten)

Post #: 56

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 6:38:20 PM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

iwill-
no response needed. It is obvious that YOU are trying to hijack the thread.
Berlin

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 57

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 7:01:03 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I'm curious...

Of the ladies present who are advocating calling the police, how many of you have actually had personal experience with this sort of scenario? Being raped and subsequently calling the police. Of those of you that have had this experience, how did it go for you?

I can tell you point blank...from experience...if you need "justice" then vigilante justice is the way to handle it, just don't get caught. The system will traumatize you infinitely more than the rapist did. That's a guarantee.

(For any of you who are about to become indignant at that grossly NOT politically correct statement, my response will be "Are you speaking from experience?" I speak from my experience and have little to no interest in an opinion that is not based in personal experience on this topic.)

Then look to see what you could have done differently and never let yourself get in the spot again.

If you believe it happened because you were 'in sub mode' then you're bullshitting yourself and likely to set yourself up for it again. We humans have a way of repeating our mistakes until we learn the lesson.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 58

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 7:54:35 PM

melycious

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline

quote:

There needs to be a negotiation whereby a sub/slave gives permission to and/or entrusts a dominant to push their limits. Otherwise, it is rape

te

WOW that is quite a statement.... so.. when i had an issue with going into a hallway with no clothes on to get ice..and it was a big deal with me..and my Dom pushed the issue and my limit on public nudity.. i should have said it was rape? When i broke down in tears after a humilation scene, (there was no touching) but i was amazed he still adored me.. but was a limit he pushed, that was rape?

I think you are confusing the issue....... if someone says and MEANS no.. then i agree..if it resulted in physical touching, then it is some sort of assualt..i wont debate the fine words of the law......

if its a limit.. i disagree that pushign limits is always supposed to be fun for both, its not.. with skill and a good understanding of each other... good can grow from the pushing, but it does not always need to be fun.

non negotionion does not now..or ever = rape...

and if we are encouraging subs/Doms to think in this vein, all i can think is of the pushy over scared society we will become..

perhaps we need to look at rape as what it is.. and our decisions for what they are...

mely

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 59

RE: raped for being sub? - 7/25/2004 8:11:38 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: melycious

quote:

There needs to be a negotiation whereby a sub/slave gives permission to and/or entrusts a dominant to push their limits. Otherwise, it is rape

WOW that is quite a statement....

It is. And I stand by it.

If you handed over all power to your dominant when you accepted his collar, then you gave him permission to push your limits. So it wasn't rape.

Does this make it a little clearer?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to melycious)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: raped for being sub?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094