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Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 9:42:48 AM   
Pantera31k


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/14/2008
Status: offline 		Hello, my gf and I are looking to collar, train and grow with a  submissive or slave, but we don't really have the experience in doing so, like we've never held any D/s relationships that weren't online, so as a submissive is it important for a Master/Dom to have experience with being that?
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RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 10:16:21 AM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		i would LIKE for them to have some experience, but as long as they are willing to have someone train them with how to use whips, floggers and the like its not that important to me. Now, if they didnt have any experience and wanted to just start using a whip on me thats when i would walk away.

(in reply to Pantera31k)
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RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 10:22:34 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Probably best to ask any potentials directly.  Some it may matter, some it may not.

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(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
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RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 10:26:51 AM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		It's not important to everyone, no. A willingness to experiment, and an ability to backtrack when headed down the wrong path count for a lot more with me. So what you're looking for is certainly possible.

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
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RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 10:43:42 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		uhm shouldn't it be train, grow, then collar? That way you can all learn together----

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The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Pantera31k)
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RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 11:32:17 AM   
Pantera31k


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/14/2008
Status: offline 		erm, i didn't mean them in that order mindy

(in reply to MladyHathor)
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RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 11:38:35 AM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Having read your profile, I suggest you remove "I have been a master for about a year and have learned a great deal on caring for and training a slave/pet"  or at least clarify that it's been online training only.
Truth in advertising.

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(in reply to Pantera31k)
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RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 11:54:06 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pantera31k

Hello, my gf and I are looking to collar, train and grow with a  submissive or slave, but we don't really have the experience in doing so, like we've never held any D/s relationships that weren't online, so as a submissive is it important for a Master/Dom to have experience with being that?


Experience wasn't important when I got together with Mistress.  Her open-mindedness, curiosity, and thirst for knowledge is one thing that I held in high regard.  She has devious ideas of Her own, that's for sure.  She asks me for my thoughts, opinions, and ideas since I have over 10 years of experience in this life.  It certainly doesn't make Her less dominant.  Everyone has to learn somewhere.

Mistress is growing into Her role as a slave owner.  She learns new things everyday and I learn new things everyday.  It's a neverending process.  I may have more experience in the D/s world, but She is still the one I happily bow down to...not because of experience or lack there of, but because Her dominance is what I respond to.

Good luck to you...when you find the right sub or slave, everything will fit and you will learn together.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to Pantera31k)
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RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 12:51:01 PM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		Yes,to me its very important.i think You should attend Your local dungeon or playspace to learn ,practice scening and to watch other Dominants.some dungeons also offer classes and workshops for the inexperienced to learn. 

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 1:10:11 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Without experieence, it might be a lofty goal to be looking to collar already. Not all submissives require experience to get involed, but until you know you can actually handle a submissive full time, you should not be looking for one. Getting involved in your local community isa good idea, finding out what is involved in real life verus online control. The, when you do meet a submissive, be honest about your real life experience or lack thereof. Leading someone to believe you know more than you do is asking for trouble.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
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VampiresLair

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 1:53:05 PM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		remember safety.
these thrilling activities give us an adrinolin rush for a reason,,, and we're trusting the top to know what they're doing, and not kill us.
done incorrectly many things can lead to injury or wrost.

< Message edited by phoenixinchains -- 5/25/2008 1:54:39 PM >

_____________________________

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purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.


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(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 1:57:11 PM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		That being said, in a relationship, sharing new experiences can lead to incredible bonds!

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.


http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to phoenixinchains)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 2:04:04 PM   
Interesdom


Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue
Having read your profile, I suggest you remove "I have been a master for about a year and have learned a great deal on caring for and training a slave/pet"  or at least clarify that it's been online training only.

I fully agree.  You can find submissives, even experienced ones (or perhaps especially experienced ones) who will be willing for you to learn properly with you topping and even dominating them.  What you should not do is pretend to something you are not.

Do you really think that you could learn about how to train a dog by reading a book?

Do you imagine that teaching someone to cook online is the same as having them cook delicious meals for you?

Mention some online experince if you wish but frankly, I think you would be best to own up to no experience at all.  That way, if your online experience does show to be of some use, it will be a bonus to the submissive who might be willing to give you a chance.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 2:11:26 PM   
dragon2760


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline 		i think that it depends on the sub.  Being fairly new to all this myself i looked to experience as being a must.  Plus even if i did have more for me to tell a Dominant what they should or should not do would be like topping from the bottom and that is defintely not what i am about.  i have to agree with BondageBarbieX search out a local local dungeon and attend any workshops or classes they may offer.   

(in reply to phoenixinchains)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 2:11:37 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I guess it depends on what activities are included in the relationship. Do I want a Dominant with no experience doing a single tail scene on me? Ummmm, NO!



_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Interesdom)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 3:10:57 PM   
dragon2760


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Do I want a Dominant with no experience doing a single tail scene on me? Ummmm, NO!



Those things look awfully wicked.  Makes me shudder just thinking about it. 

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 4:43:08 PM   
blueydslave


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline 		i would prefer a Dom with some experience as i do not have a lot myself.  But i would give a Dom with little experience a chance, We/we all have to start somewhere.    Just as long as the Dom can fling a whip or flogger without seriously damaging Themself or me.

(in reply to Pantera31k)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 5:42:05 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blueydslave

i would prefer a Dom with some experience as i do not have a lot myself.  But i would give a Dom with little experience a chance, We/we all have to start somewhere.    Just as long as the Dom can fling a whip or flogger without seriously damaging Themself or me.
The amount of skill required to throw a flogger without damage is minimal depending on the flogger. The amount of skill needed to throw a whip without damage is far above that.

We were at a party where a moderately skillled Dominant sliced his submissive's labia open requiring a trip to the hospital and several stitches.

Personally, I'd rather be with the person who takes it upon himself to learn, learn , learn.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to blueydslave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 5:58:29 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hello there,

Wow, this seems a popular question tonight.  My first thought to your question was, "Everyone has to start somewhere."   I think the best advice you were given was to take it on an individual basis, because when it is all said and done, what each of us who responds to your post thinks, doesn't really put a submissive at your feet. 

Best wishes in your search

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is Experience Important to a Sub - 5/25/2008 8:14:19 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		As you will see by the variety of answers you'll receive in this post, it's important to some and not to others, and for different reasons.

For me it would be very important.  I wouldn't be able to give my mind over to someone if I didn't have the ultimate confidence in his ability to know what to do with it.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to Pantera31k)
Profile   Post #: 20
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