RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (Full Version)

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MladyHathor -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 4:19:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker

Thank you to all who have responded to this post thus far.

However I feel I must clarify the kind of D/s relationship I am inquiring about.

I myself am of the opinion that within a real time/real life D/s relationship access by the Dominant to passwords and their corresponding accounts of his/her sub's is a given. As is restriction of access to the internet as a whole.

My questions relate to D/s relationships that are soley cyber based where the participants have never met and are unlikely to ever meet in reality.

Thank you again.


Well, I think you will find there is an entire cyber element ( mystifies Me, but ok)---that seems to have "deemed standards"---) like the twue way---however, as has been said there is nothing standard about our life except that it has no standards---lol---though I see it as a common practice of cyber Dominantion---as I stated---insecurity and nosiness if you ask Me.



steviemichael -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 4:29:03 AM)

online rooms are wonderful rooms often very funny inotice that you say you were unware that this user did not have 'some sort of spybot*grins* protecting her !! how could you have known *laughs* i greet a user once with her name;and her Master said i was rude ! when i asked how so ? He said dont you see the MN next to her name what does this inply to you ?
I thought for a monment then text that she is a Medical Nurse; the Master booted me out of the chat room.



MstrObjectmaker -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 4:48:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

 Unless you broarden your question to include M/s dynamics I have no response as I only deal with slaves in my dynamics. 


quote:

  I of course include the M/s dynamic as I am not really interested in D/s either, like you I prefer M/s.


[8|]  some people in  M/s relationships were able to answer the question without feeling it necessary to once again bring up the whole subs vs. slaves stuff...it just takes a little imagination.


Yes I totally agree with you.

Thats why I originally asked my question using the D/s.

But then some people do feel the need for much more graphic inclusion to get them to participate.

Thank you.



MstrObjectmaker -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 4:53:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor



Well, I think you will find there is an entire cyber element ( mystifies Me, but ok)---that seems to have "deemed standards"---) like the twue way---however, as has been said there is nothing standard about our life except that it has no standards---lol---though I see it as a common practice of cyber Dominantion---as I stated---insecurity and nosiness if you ask Me.



Thankyou for your imput, I do tend to agree with you on all the points you have made, but then everybody does have the right to do what they want unless it seems they are sub.



MladyHathor -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 6:01:55 AM)

quote:

 but then everybody does have the right to do what they want unless it seems they are sub.


My Dear, you have hit the nail on the head--and the challenge you will face as you seek----it seems there is a preponderence of concept that subs have no rights--evah--oy.  And that is NOT a generalist statement, there are many who allow subs freedoms and many subs who are free--however, its like looking for jewels at a mining location---you have to sift through a lot of silt to get the gem.
 
 



MstrObjectmaker -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 6:28:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

quote:

 but then everybody does have the right to do what they want unless it seems they are sub.


My Dear, you have hit the nail on the head--and the challenge you will face as you seek----it seems there is a preponderence of concept that subs have no rights--evah--oy.  And that is NOT a generalist statement, there are many who allow subs freedoms and many subs who are free--however, its like looking for jewels at a mining location---you have to sift through a lot of silt to get the gem.
 
 


Well there is the rub!

There seems to be such a big dichotomy with this idea of whether subs/slaves should have any rights or not.

Personally I find myself on both sides of the fence, on the one hand I have a preference towards the idea that a slave should have no rights what so ever as a real slave would indeed have no rights.

But then on the otherhand, I feel it is unrealistic in this day and age for someone to voluntarily give up all their rights.

After all they are slaves by choice.

I think that it should be up to the individuals involved as to whether they have any rights or not.



pettingdragons -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 6:37:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

[8|]  some people in  M/s relationships were able to answer the question without feeling it necessary to once again bring up the whole subs vs. slaves stuff...it just takes a little imagination.


What does M/s have to do with slave vs sub? Did i miss something here? D/s is not M/s but that has nothing to do with slave vs/ sub....and NO by gods i am not trying to stir up that old arguement...in fact an forum responce may be best..LOL
i just figured i misses a line somewhere after reveiwing the who forum again...all that was stated was that the Original Author might have put M/s or referenced to it instead of just D/s ......its that what you where talking about, Ironitulstahp?

pettingdragons
*Master Dragons conisdered slave*



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 6:40:48 AM)

ah the dynamics are very simple              do not listen to someone else to tell you how to liver life             It is your life     live it the way you and that someone speacil sees fit         



pettingdragons -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 6:42:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker

Thankyou for your imput, I do tend to agree with you on all the points you have made, but then everybody does have the right to do what they want unless it seems they are sub.



oh now that is a such a crock of....well....something nasty.....and too funny....i know more subs who do what ever they want....they are only sub say at parties, or events, or online.....whos to say they are or are not "really" submissive? they feel they are and i think they are so they are subs who do what they want....[:D]
make sense? or have i no had enough coffee?

pettingdragons
**Master Dragons considered slave**



LaTigresse -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 6:56:08 AM)

I will never have an "online" submissive/slave.

I will also never have a slave that I feel I need to monitor.

If I cannot trust them, they have no place in my life.........period.



MstrObjectmaker -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 7:00:23 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I will never have an "online" submissive/slave.

I will also never have a slave that I feel I need to monitor.

If I cannot trust them, they have no place in my life.........period.



Well said!



IronBear -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 7:09:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

 Unless you broarden your question to include M/s dynamics I have no response as I only deal with slaves in my dynamics. 


quote:

  I of course include the M/s dynamic as I am not really interested in D/s either, like you I prefer M/s.


[8|]  some people in  M/s relationships were able to answer the question without feeling it necessary to once again bring up the whole subs vs. slaves stuff...it just takes a little imagination.


If you knew anything about me which you obviously don't or you wouldn't have made that comment, you'd know that from the ten years as a Gorean Master living a Gorean Lifestyle and now for some years as a Master of a Victorian Home, you'd know as I have often enough commented I know bugger all about submissives having dealt and deal on a personal level exclusively with slaves. There is a difference which is why I asked the question. It has been my experience that people asking questions about the whole sub/slave situation will either use the term "sub/slave" or  D/s & M/s. I have made it clear also that I do take most things literally as I neither have the sapre time nor will I play guessing games trying to double guess. I may have to professionally but also it is my experience to do so in previous areas where I was employed was to risk injury or death to either self or a client.

You and you alone assumed (a major mistake) that I was bringing up the submissive v slave discussion which I refuse to enter into. I have my own definitions which works for me and that is enough.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)




IronBear -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 7:12:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I will never have an "online" submissive/slave.

I will also never have a slave that I feel I need to monitor.

If I cannot trust them, they have no place in my life.........period.



Well said Lass, I refuse to micro-manage or ridgidly monitor and slave weither in the Bruin Cottage or my Personal Collar unless it is their health or diet due to health. If I don't believe I can trust such slaves/servants, they have no place in my home.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)




SimplyMichael -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 8:41:55 AM)

RavenMuse wrote:

quote:

Trust.... sure I trust My girl, if I didn't trust her I wouldn't Own her. Monotoring her mail isn't about lack of trust. In My case it isn't about insecurity or in fact any need of Mine, but rather from a need in the girl, one common to many TPE compatable girls I have known. They draw a great deal of comfort and security from the fact that I do check, that I do keep an eye on My girls activity.


This is one of those snipits of wisdom that I love this place for.  Sometimes you don't do things for you but because you know the other person needs them.



IronBear -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 9:24:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker


quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

 Unless you broarden your question to include M/s dynamics I have no response as I only deal with slaves in my dynamics. 


quote:

  I of course include the M/s dynamic as I am not really interested in D/s either, like you I prefer M/s.


[8|]  some people in  M/s relationships were able to answer the question without feeling it necessary to once again bring up the whole subs vs. slaves stuff...it just takes a little imagination.


Yes I totally agree with you.

Thats why I originally asked my question using the D/s.

But then some people do feel the need for much more graphic inclusion to get them to participate.

Thank you.



Read my reply to lronitulstahp and learn. I am not the only person here who thinks and feels similar to myself.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)




ownedgirlie -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 9:41:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker

Yes I totally agree with you.

Thats why I originally asked my question using the D/s.

But then some people do feel the need for much more graphic inclusion to get them to participate.

Thank you.



Your OP and subsequent posts seemed to use the terms interchangeably, and not everyone sees them that way.  I don't personally see a problem with seeking clarity on what you meant.



RavenMuse -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 12:01:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Sometimes you don't do things for you but because you know the other person needs them.


Quite, I have a responcibility for the relationship... there are two people in this relationship (Curently) and that means ensuring BOTH peoples needs are met.... I make sure she fulfils Mine and *I* make sure I fulfil hers (Mine maybe on demand, hers only overall, but BOTH get fulfilled) if I didn't I would be dropping the ball and letting U/us both down.

The security and reasurance from 'monotoring' is just one 'small' part of that.



MstrObjectmaker -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 12:08:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker

Yes I totally agree with you.

Thats why I originally asked my question using the D/s.

But then some people do feel the need for much more graphic inclusion to get them to participate.

Thank you.



Your OP and subsequent posts seemed to use the terms interchangeably, and not everyone sees them that way.  I don't personally see a problem with seeking clarity on what you meant.


Well in answer to that I will just say....you can't please everybody!

I'm fairly new to the BDSM lifestyle as witnessed by my posts to date and as a result I'm on a sharp learning curve......so forgive me if I mix D/s with M/s.



BitaTruble -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 12:27:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker

Question:-

Is it standard practice for online Dom's/Dommes to take control of online subs through access to not only their profiles but their MSN and Yahoo messaging accounts, to monitor all communications with other parties?


No, it's not a standard. Some do, some do not.

quote:

Question:-

If so should the sub in question inform all of his/her contacts that a third party will be privy to what has been discussed online?


I feel they should when it's appropriate to do so. For example, if someone were to say to me, "I want to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone, not even your Master," I would inform them not to tell me because I don't keep anything from Himself. Those who are close to me already know this as a standing rule with me and wouldn't ever ask me to withhold something from him. Master is the priority, not a friend, family member or some other sort of acquaintence.

Celeste




RedMagic1 -> RE: Curious about the dynamics of online D/s (5/27/2008 1:43:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
There seems to be such a big dichotomy with this idea of whether subs/slaves should have any rights or not.

You have confused the hell out of me.

You're in a pub.  You hit on some hot little numbah.  She doesn't say yes, but she doesn't say no.  Her boyfriend comes back from the bathroom and tells you to buzz off.  She leaves, clutching his arm tightly, smiling to herself because he is strong and possessive.

I don't see how D/s, M/s or B/s matters here at all.  Maybe she *wants* to be monitored and "put in her place"... and maybe he's an asshole.  End result for you is the same.  Continue looking for people who are interesting, interested and available.



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