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RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 10:50:01 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline 		i'm still waiting for this Utopia...where did You say it was?

pinkpleasures

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(in reply to xanderzzz)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 11:19:34 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		we're square

quote:

ORIGINAL: xanderzzz

Thanks fyreredsub for taking another look and understanding. When posting on any message board I try not to call out people and even thought about editing the post to take out the "she" part.

To be wrongfully accused is never fun and doubly weird when it is not from the person I was even vagely refering to.







_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to xanderzzz)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 1:21:02 PM   
Angrylibrarian


Posts: 214
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		My expectations are nearly nill for this online thing most of the time. It's a healthier mindset.

think about it, people are rejecting each other or ignoring one another because they don't write a compelling email? and sometimes by bulk mail filter? How crazy is that? That's a horrible way to meet someone. I reply to everyone (unless I space and miss one) because in my opinion its a little silly to sign up for this service then reject possible friends because of their profiles.

In fact now that I think about it the whole thing is pretty silly. Just for comparison example, almost every submissive I've ever met face to face is a continued friend and possible play partner. The number of submissives I've found and met by actually emailing them and trying to meet them from collarme is still zero. I'm not complaining, what Im saying is that being online is just not a good way to get to know anyone personally. It's one of those urban myths we've come to accept as true so literally hundreds of people are missing possible connections almost arbitrarily.

Sometimes i guess it's all part of some sort of defense mechanism . This is a place to reject people and keep them at a distance before they find your vulnerable spot or you theirs. I can understand that.

(in reply to xanderzzz)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 1:52:21 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

i'm still waiting for this Utopia...where did You say it was?

pinkpleasures


Outopos, by its nature, is no-place.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 1:57:33 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Angrylibrarian
The number of submissives I've found and met by actually emailing them and trying to meet them from collarme is still zero. I'm not complaining, what Im saying is that being online is just not a good way to get to know anyone personally. It's one of those urban myths we've come to accept as true so literally hundreds of people are missing possible connections almost arbitrarily.

Sometimes i guess it's all part of some sort of defense mechanism . This is a place to reject people and keep them at a distance before they find your vulnerable spot or you theirs. I can understand that.


I don't know about that - worked fab for me.

Here and at b.com I guess over two years I met about 7 women face to face - most of them emailed me after reading forum posts, or were referred to me by someone I knew from the forums.

One of those girls turned out to be my "One."

I think the system works pretty well - people quickly screen out who they don't find attractive (as they come across online, not just pictures), and then go from there. In fact, the frustration a lot of people experience here and at b.com is to me evidence that the market is extremely effecient.

(in reply to Angrylibrarian)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 2:28:09 PM   
Angrylibrarian


Posts: 214
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		And congratulations again on your marriage!

I'm impressed you met 7 people online. You also spent 2 years at it. I am going to venture a guess that you are one of those guys who is very good at writing letters and forum posts from what ive seen of you here. All Im saying is that most people arent, yet are probably just as suitable as you or I as romantic partners. Also, compare that to how many women you meet going to a bar, an art gallery, a library or a coffee shop. It is much easier and almost less time consuming to go to a place, look for a girl who has that submissive look about her, chat her up and proceed from there (and as most of us know almost all women have a little bit of this in them). Or even more straight forward, have someone you know from the 'scene' introduce you to someone who in turn introduces you to someone. Actively meeting people face to face is not only a smarter way to meet people. Its much faster unless you have no social skills in which case youre merely hiding behind the keyboard arent you? (not you , the proverbial 'you').

I don't know maybe I'm the one out of the norm here, Is meeting 7 people a lot? Maybe I just date more/less then average. Is that 7 relationships in two years or 7 dates? Never mind. thats all a bit personal. (considering I know you from an avatar and a forum post. :)

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 3:49:00 PM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
quote:

I don't know maybe I'm the one out of the norm here, Is meeting 7 people a lot? Maybe I just date more/less then average. Is that 7 relationships in two years or 7 dates? Never mind. thats all a bit personal. (considering I know you from an avatar and a forum post. :)

Angrylibrarian


It's not that Faramir was dating alot or a little....it's that He found His One here...others have as well...i believe the Doms and Masters are responsible for contacting slaves and submissives...occasionally i try initiating contact but that never works (at least for me)...and all of us are doomed to speak to a whole lotta inappropriate people before we find someone to even meet in r/l. It's not easy for anyone.

pinkpleasures

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(in reply to Angrylibrarian)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 4:20:59 PM   
Angrylibrarian


Posts: 214
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		they're always the one until they arent the one though arent they?

Didn't mean to rain on anyones parade, just trying to point out there's really no substitute for just good old fashioned meeting people in person without the internet between you. Just my opinion.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 5:21:45 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Angrylibrarian

And congratulations again on your marriage!

I'm impressed you met 7 people online. You also spent 2 years at it. I am going to venture a guess that you are one of those guys who is very good at writing letters and forum posts from what ive seen of you here. All Im saying is that most people arent, yet are probably just as suitable as you or I as romantic partners. Also, compare that to how many women you meet going to a bar, an art gallery, a library or a coffee shop. It is much easier and almost less time consuming to go to a place, look for a girl who has that submissive look about her, chat her up and proceed from there (and as most of us know almost all women have a little bit of this in them). Or even more straight forward, have someone you know from the 'scene' introduce you to someone who in turn introduces you to someone. Actively meeting people face to face is not only a smarter way to meet people. Its much faster unless you have no social skills in which case youre merely hiding behind the keyboard arent you? (not you , the proverbial 'you').

I don't know maybe I'm the one out of the norm here, Is meeting 7 people a lot? Maybe I just date more/less then average. Is that 7 relationships in two years or 7 dates? Never mind. thats all a bit personal. (considering I know you from an avatar and a forum post. :)


1) Thanks for the substantive reply, and the congratulations.

2) Agreed - My kind of skillset plays well in this sort of forum, and there are other people who are worthwhile but not as suited to the venue.

3) Meeting girls at a bar, art gallery (not that there is a single gallery in my county) when you want a deeply masochistic TPE slave sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. I could date 250 women and not even come close to what I need.

4) The "scene" isn't much of an option around here.

Now, in DC, LA, NYC - any really major metro area is a different story. I think RL socializing would make more sense in that case.

(in reply to Angrylibrarian)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 6:20:12 PM   
Angrylibrarian


Posts: 214
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		I'm somewhat swayed actually after talking to the girls too, the the picture looks a lot different from the submissives side, especially in places as you say, that don't have a big metro area where you can find an in person network. It's been pointed out that of course it seems easier for me to meet submissives in person because just like online if a woman doesn't meet my needs I can reject her. The submissive can't really just pick a man and hope he dominates them like she wants.

ok new theory: online is a good time saver. Still not convinced that its a tool for intimacy or that it doesnt lead to more unreasonable rejections then pairings but I can definitly see the other side of it too.

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 6:28:54 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Angrylibrarian
I don't know maybe I'm the one out of the norm here, Is meeting 7 people a lot?

I can only say from my personal experience reffering to online relationships - in my first year online I met about 30 people in live.
I was not looking for anyone in particular, I was just chatting and making friends.
Some of those meetings turned to be long lasting friendships, some were just one night stand...... but I never had any real bad experiences with people I met. I dont find stalking something that would bother me for example, I am not the type of person that can be easily scared or made uneasy.

Towards the end of that first year (I was still not looking, since I was recovering from really bad divorce and had no intentions of marrying again) I sort of bumped into my present husband in a voice chatroom. 3 weeks later we met in live for the first time, month after that I moved to be with him, year after we were married. My maid of honour is too a friend I first met online.

Since then we "work in pair"...... we are still both chatting and meeting people but together. So I can add some 40 people more to my present "virtualy started friendship" list.
Since I registered on this site I only met two men, but that I dont find as something unusual. The nature of the people registering here is, I think, such that somehow limits RL meetings to the certain point. I am searching for certain type of person and that makes it harder to find someone. And I am limited by other things - I still dont speak the language much and I am in no position to travel much due to my and my husbands job.

To tell the truth, I am not expecting very much. If I find someone suitable it will be good thing, if I dont...... well, I am still having fun.
In my opinion if you are being honest and who you are and not expecting wonders, you have much better chances of metting suitable people either online either in the nearest bar. For me it doesnt really matter, I am in general going my happy way, if someone wants to go along its ok with me, if not it doesnt bother me at least.

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I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to Angrylibrarian)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 10:24:08 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I read the same comment but I felt that it was just a lady saying,

"I have a limited amount of time to spend on this 'puter each day and a large number of e-mails in my inbox. This is one of the things that I won't waste my time on. I would rather spend that valuable time conversing with someone I enjoy and respect."

I guess that just made sense to me.

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Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to xanderzzz)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Online Utopia - 10/25/2005 10:29:16 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

......all of us are doomed to speak to a whole lotta inappropriate people before we find someone to even meet in r/l. It's not easy for anyone.


Hi Pink,

What is it they say? If you're going to find a prince, first you'll have to kiss a lot of frogs!"

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Online Utopia - 10/26/2005 8:18:28 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Angrylibrarian
Didn't mean to rain on anyones parade, just trying to point out there's really no substitute for just good old fashioned meeting people in person without the internet between you. Just my opinion.


I don't see meeting someone online as a substitute. Over the last few years, I have dated people that I met online and in person. Usually when I meet someone online, I meet them in person ASAP to see if the chemistry works. Sometimes, like in my current situation, ASAP is a little longer then I would like, but I find ways to deal with it.

I see online as one of many ways to meet people. I have friends who go to meat markets... err singles bars to meet guys. I have friends who join co-ed sports teams to meet guys, or who hang out at the library, or the gym, or the café. I’ve done all of the above but I was never actively seeking. I do the activities that I do because I like them and I figure I’ll have a chance of meeting someone that is into the same things as me. I’ve always seen it as being "out there" because if I'm not "out there" then my chances of meeting the one that was right for me is nil.

So I bumped into the one for me here. I wasn’t looking for him. He just was here. I saw him, I adored what I saw and the rest is history in the making.

I think that limiting our ways of getting acquainted with someone is a mistake, whether it be limiting it to face-to-face or online.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Angrylibrarian)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Online Utopia - 10/26/2005 8:20:05 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
i'm still waiting for this Utopia...where did You say it was?



Maybe you should ask the UtopianRanger ;-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 35
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