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Tormentise -> RE: Criminally Violent Sub (5/30/2008 2:51:38 PM)
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So, yes, there are two sides to every story, and by popular demand, here is mine.
She wanted to get married secretly because she admitted to being “flighty” and didn’t want her friends or family to know about it because none of them approve of me as , yes, I have said and done a few stupid things but they only hear one side of the story. She originally wanted to get married on her ex’es birthday, the anniversary of our first date, and the date I first ripped her pants down and fed her hungry kitty. She left all the planning details to me. I was planning for a couple of pictures, a nice setting under the stars at the Stratosphere, nothing too fancy, just enough to make her happy.
Well, most men’s minds are not wired to plan weddings, so when she wanted to change the date it threw my equilibrium off balance and I requested to have a couple of days to give a well thought out response. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to please her because I am just plain crazy about her. When I didn’t respond right at that moment she got very irate and that anger did not subside, only increased. One week later I walked 50 miles to give her a $4,000 diamond ring. Why walk? Because it seemed to be a romantic gesture. What man would walk that distance for his love?
By the time I arrived there I was emotionally and physically exhausted, frozen for lack of remembering a jacket, diarrhea, sleeping in the bushes, I was at my weakest point. She began screaming at the top of her lungs, the smoke was coming out of her ears I looked at her and smiled, that upset her even more so she slapped me. When I did not respond to that she slapped me over and over. After about 30 slaps it was beginning to annoy me so I took a step forward and rubbed noses with her, eye to eye. Then her eyes started popping out of her head, a very strange look that I had not ever seen on anybody’s face ever before and she began to focus her gaze on my cheek and began lightly tapping it with a clenched fist, then harder and harder before taking a step back and clocking me one.
I stood there and absorbed another 30 punches to the face, all the while trying to decide what to do. Taking her by the hair and forcing her into submission was an option, but something was telling me not to react in any way, to turn the other cheek, only feeling a tremendous love for her and wanting to hopefully show her that regardless of the circumstance, I may sometimes say the wrong things when angry, but would not ever strike her in anger as long as I live.
As I absorbed all those shots to the face I began to fade away and fell over backwards into her bathtub, narrowly missing a crash through the glass doors and a ride in an ambulance. She then remarked in a very childlike voice “Wow! I’ve never done that to any of my friends before!” Then she ran out of the bathroom All the while we were planning on getting married she would remark that I had not got down on a knee and asked her, so I raised myself from the tub and got down on a knee and asked. She laughed at me. So I then stood over the toilet with the ring.
I pinched pennies, scrimped and saved for months to buy her that ring because she said it had to cost a least $1,500.(red flag??), but I wasn’t going to give her one that was any less than one full carat. I was not going to leave with it and then stress about it any more. If she didn’t want to wear it, no woman would ever wear it because it was for her and her alone. So I made a movement as if I was going to flush it down the toilet. She said “Go ahead, see if I care!” So I flushed it down the toilet.
As I stood there watching it swirl around the bottom of the toilet bowl, I felt inclined to reach down there and snatch it back, after all, it cost me four freaking grand. But I said No, I am not a materialistic person, it’s only money, they make new ones every day. I was man enough to flush it I wasn’t about to change my mind. We had discussed how if two people were really in love a crackerjack box ring would be enough.
After it flushed, she made another strange noise then ran out of the room only to return in about 5 minutes with more screaming until I left. As I was leaving I dropped some change out of the clothes I was carrying. I was jus going to leave it but she screamed even louder that if I didn’t pick it up she was going to call the cops. Without saying a word, I looked at her and thought “If the cops show up she would be the one they would haul away,” and I didn’t want her to miss picking up her son from school. So I picked it up and left, in tears, and in shock. That wasn’t supposed to be the way the Brian Adams concert that night was to unfold.
When she wouldn’t talk to me after that, of course I did my little childish antics that were normal for the breakups and pushed her further away as usual, as there were previous breakups, each progressively lasting longer than the one before, but oh the makeup kiss!!! The sex combined with that level of emotion!!!! I have had difficulty dealing with my emotions because I had not once ever opened up to anybody the way I did for her.
She will pile lie upon lie about what I’ve done and what she has done, twisting the facts, accusing me of stalking her online, yes, I have tried to talk some sense into her, often by blogging on different web pages which she has copied each and everyone then masquerades them as if they were emails sent to her, so who is stalking who?? If she really waned to hide from me she wouldn’t have sent me an email from her new address, and of course I play right into it being the fool in love that I am.
We had both agreed we were married in spirit, and to me that is stronger than any piece of paper. So if I break the vow I become a liar. So instead I try to make it through each day the best I can. That may sound kind of whimpy, but it has always been so easy to replace a warm, willing body for sexual purposes when necessary to avoid any emotional bonds. . I had considered assault and battery charges, but that is not my style, preferring to believe that what goes around comes around. Assault and battery?? Is there such a thing as attempted manslaughter?
Red flags??? I have not ever shied away from a fight or a challenge so my willingness to compromise myself for her pleasure may have undermined my dominance over her, as she had even removed her new collar without asking, saying it was too heavy, yet then posts a picture of it online to put it’s beauty on display.
Maybe this sounds kind of whiny assed, but it does help to vent in a different manner other than how I am accustomed to which would be , ummmm, going out and screwing somebody else’s brains out. I want to find out what triggered the rage in her and work with her to help pacify it and use what psychological insight was gained from that experience to not only improve my own sense of well being, but ours together. It would take a therapist years to get in as deep.
When life gives me red flags, I like to put them in a sack and go ice fishing. If anybody has ever been ice fishing before, you know of the excitement of freezing your buns off all day in hopes of hearing somebody yell “FLAG!!!” and the running to the ice trap and find dinner on the other end of the line. Seek therapy for myself?? Ice fishing is very good therapy, but because of the anguish of not hearing her voice, yes, I have been to more than one therapist and they all have said the same thing, amazed that I have lasted this long…. I also went to therapy to try and learn how to deal with her, for I am only an amateur
Yes, I have said and done some very childish stupid things, but she blames me for allowing her to beat my face in when that kind of behavior lands most people in either jail, prison, a hospital, or even a morgue. So instead of feeling grateful she didn’t end up in any of those places, she plays it as if she is the victim, yet preaches how the mirror is slighted when one can not see their own actions. I took all of her best shots and guided with that knowledge I want to give her my best shot by putting my best foot forward. Does that make me a psycho?? Good. She has said that not only can I make myself look like a very stupid fool, but I appear to even enjoy doing so. That is an art unto itself. When I find the right bass guitar player, the general public will find out just how off my rocker I can be and pay good money to see and hear it It’s not a matter of replacing her, but a matter of not wanting to, even if that means someday being stabbed to death in my sleep.
This was my wedding vow:
My dearest darling angel
Submits her body
To my complete control
In return
she is promised
All My
Heart and Soul
By reading some of these threads I hope to gain insight on how the submissive mind operates. Is she really a submissssive if she wants to control every aspect of a man's life for the privelige of tying her up?
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