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Alphascendant -> RE: Criminally Violent Sub (10/25/2009 4:07:50 AM)
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Experiencing an incident of deja vu during the week surrounding my recent birthday helped put much of this situation in it's proper perspective and allowed for stepping back far enough to see the forest for the trees. Today the following posts were discovered, one of which appears written by a twenty-five year old, which some of us may conclude is still a boy, but did he hit the nail on the head and make sense, and then again, a post proceeding from there, seeing the forest for the trees. When I was twenty-five my mind was not wired in this manner, being a completely different breed of animal than now. My apology for not providing a link, as these posts were flagged out of existence, but they truly are words of wisdom, set forth in an easier to digest and more comprehensive manner than the majority of suggestions in this post were:
[Don't Ever Tolerate an Angry Girlfriend (seriously) - 25 (Adviceland)
I have learned the hard way, that the greatest mistake a guy could possibly make is staying in a relationship with a woman with anger issues.
If you're in a new or semi-new relationship, and you're noticing that your girlfriend has a propensity to get unjustifiably angry, just get the hell out of it. don't write it off as 'just a flaw', don't think that it might still be a lot better than being alone. Staying in the relationship will truly ruin your life, and you will regret it more than you ever would have fathomed that you could regret anything. Get the hell out of it, and never look back. Don't even interact with the woman, in the future.
Another thing: be really weary if you're starting a relationship at a time when you're generally down. You might be in a really tough slump, and think that starting a new relationship with a woman might make you feel better, and perhaps give you a pick-me-up to help you get out of your slump, but the truth is, you're probably going to end up settling for someone who's totally incompatible with the person you really want to be, and then when you inevitably pick yourself out of your slump, you'll find yourself emotionally invested in someone who will prevent you from being (corny as it might sound: ) 'the best you can be'
Those who have never found themselves in a serious relationship might never expect this, but getting yourself into a bad relationship could be the worse thing that ever happened to you. You're used to feeling devastation from things like career-setbacks, and you would just never expect getting into 'the wrong relationship' could actually be many times worse - and more regrettable - than anything you've ever done, but it absolutely can.
So, in summary, I have two points of critically important advice: If you're noticing that your new girlfriend gets unjustifiably angry, don't forgive it, don't look past it, this person will seriously ruin your life. The terrible thing with this is that 'very-nice' people are most-likely to forgive/tolerate/write-off this anger, but are also inclined to feel the most pain from it. And second, don't settle for someone whom you know isn't right for you, just because you might be in a bad-to-terrible place in your life, you will severely delay and limit your recovery.
Also, you might not want to think you can be 'dynamic' - don't get seriously involved with someone who doesn't have similar life goals. And, if a woman starts professing that she loves you, after you've only been dating for a week, the truth is, there's a 90% chance she's a psycho manipulative b****, who will ruin your life, if you let her. In my case, prior to starting this horrible relationship, I had some life/career setbacks that I felt sure had ruined my life, but they really didn't set me back/ruin me nearly to the extent of this relationship. Be careful out there.
Re: Don't Ever Tolerate an Angry Girlfriend (seriously) - 100 (MDR)
Thanks for stating that so well- you're right on the money.
Re: Don't Ever Tolerate.... Early Warnings - 53 (the pulpit)
Look for the early warnings. If they lie to others, they will lie to you. Lies are like cockroaches, if you find one, there are hundreds in the furniture.
If they blame everything but themselves for the problem, the chances are that they are the problem. Blaming others is an abusive personality trait.
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