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The one syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:27:59 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
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This I would llike to star out as saying I can imagine im going to ruffle a few feathers with this one.....I can understand that alot of you will only submit to the "one"......but the thing I dont understand is when you finally find the "one" then automatically you lose all respect for anyone else..I think we have all hashed this out in other threads to some degree.....like the one I submit to is the only one I will call Master/Sir/Mistress...leaving all those others out there wondering as to why that only the one that you submit to is the one you can show respect to or refer to as Master so and so or Sir so and so or Mistress so and so...kinda confusing to me really.........if someone is a Master before he/she met you then how can anyone else be less of a Master if they dont own someone? does Ownership define a Dom/Master......and if you are owned if you call anyone else Sir/Master/Mistress reflect some kind of ownership to you by referring to them by thier given title?

Master Six

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I wish you well

Post #: 1

RE: The one syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:34:39 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

People seem to be stuck in the emotional mode of needing connections to be complete in many cases.

As if one cannot 'be" a certain way without someone else. This belies the strength to stand on one's own merits.

I guess codependence has been made into a virtue by these sorts of people,how sad.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 2

RE: The one syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:38:53 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Why does this issue matter so much to you that you have to start thread after thread about it? It sounds as though a sub who didn't know you refused to call you "master" or "sir" one day, and you've been yelping ever since over the wound to your dignity.

And why is everything a "syndrome"? First we had the "you're not my dom syndrome"; now we have the "one syndrome." It's really strange. AIDS is a syndrome. Asperger's is a syndrome. Choosing not to say "master" to some guy on the internet is not a syndrome.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 3

RE: The one syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:44:13 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
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I personally am amazed by the reaction tha I get when I say something about this touchy subject......wow jealously has a really HUGE head

...im not ever offended when bella refers to those free/Master/Sir/Mistress and such their titles are even you my friend she calls you Sir......she can see through the game players and the misinformed.........maybe that this has come into the light because of the dishonesty that what feels good do it and dont worry about what you said or had with the "one" that didnt meet those kinky desires you had or you know you didnt meet them and are worried someone might do something for her that you cant...im not trying to be gender specific to those Dommes that are reading this.........

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to JustaTop)

Post #: 4

RE: The one syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:48:24 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
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I havent a wounded psyche by anyone...I merely am making cionversation about the things I see..I invite you to state your opinon LAM..flame free or us against them...............but you always have something to say in a negative aspect which is ok..........I dont jump through flaming hoops either......I could really care less who calls me Master...it is a word.....its how you carry it that matters.......this is about more than the internet.....look at the behaviour exhibited...oh oops did I go over your head with that one ...see I can be just a derisive as you

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I wish you well

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 5

RE: The one syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:56:18 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
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quote:

like the one I submit to is the only one I will call Master/Sir/Mistress...leaving all those others out there wondering as to why that only the one that you submit to is the one you can show respect to or refer to as Master so and so or Sir so and so or Mistress so and so...kinda confusing to me really.........

Why do you find this so confusing?
You seem to find it really hard to understand that respect means different things to different people.
For myself a person must have certain morals and ways of interacting with others in the world and especially with me in order to gain my respect, I still would not call them Sir or Master, Mistress, because they are not such to me.

I think everyone has a place where respect comes into play. For some it could be that they are ordered to and feel they have no other options, then there are subs and slaves in relationships where they believe that kind of respect goes out only to their personal Domina/Dom, why is that so hard for you to grasp? Because it is not your way?

Do you have the respect to greet others outside your personal relationship or "world" as Mistress or Master or does that only pertain as a rule for your slave? If you do and that is your belief in how to show respect more power to you, but that would not swing well with my Domina, to be referred to by you or your slave in such a way.
Also there are many ways to show others that you respect or admire them, then using words you seem to deem a must.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 6

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 12:08:39 AM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot

I think everyone has a place where respect comes into play.

but yet you are the one who deems whom is worthy of your respect? then you freely admit you are judge/jury and executioner? Funny I have tried that in the past and needless to say I fell on my face many times..if a person acts honorable and dosent come to you with on your face slut or some other derisive comment then I believe that He or she deserves respect.....they respected those in below them first by not saying something out landish...there seems to be a double standard here....I give you the respect you deserve by not saying these things because I dont enogh about you to know what might or might not be acceptable....but If I ask for the same token of respect by referring to me in my station then im being disrespectful? am I seeking to own you by having you refer to me in my station? probably not.......

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 7

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 12:32:06 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Why does this issue matter so much to you that you have to start thread after thread about it? It sounds as though a sub who didn't know you refused to call you "master" or "sir" one day, and you've been yelping ever since over the wound to your dignity.

And why is everything a "syndrome"? First we had the "you're not my dom syndrome"; now we have the "one syndrome." It's really strange. AIDS is a syndrome. Asperger's is a syndrome. Choosing not to say "master" to some guy on the internet is not a syndrome.

It's the "identifying syndromes" syndrome, I guess. Maybe we'll get a thread on that next. I suppose we need one.

Bob

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 8

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 12:53:10 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Lam, Bob, I'm a little suprised at your attitudes here. Are you in reality saying that Six or anyone else shouldn't come in here and ask querstions for their general education? We all know that Six, like me is Gorean, may be I best confine any questions I have to the Gorean Forum and all posts too. Is this the way things will be? I truely have no problems if CM wants to adopt a "Us & Them" policy separating all the BDSM folk from Goreans, but is you guys who will suffer for you wont be able to come over and stir us up..

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/25/2005 1:04:13 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 9

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 1:20:37 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

Maybe you're right. But identifying these interpersonal dynamics issues as syndromes seems overly dramatic to me. Still, I suppose some cutting of slack is in order.

As for stirring up Goreans? I don't do that. I do like to drop in from time to time, though.

Bob

< Message edited by DesertRat -- 10/25/2005 1:23:43 AM >

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 10

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 1:47:08 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

I am not gor.

I have no problem with anyone being gor. Male, female, or exceptions.

I do not believe that every submissive or slave in the world needs to call me master.

Do I enjoy it when they do? Yes.

Do I expect it? No.

Every BDSM relationship has it's own dynamic.

The submissive (don't rake me over the coals for this one) or slave must (my opinion) follow the directions of the dom/domme/master/owner/daddy/mommy/etc.

If the dom/domme/master/etc. says you will call other 'masters' by their title then so be it. If the (title) etc. says you do not have to call them by whatever name then so be it.

I believe (I do not know the protocal here) that in the gor lifestlye that all (only female?) slaves must address, in the gor understanding, masters by their correct title.

In the non-gor lifestyle, from the sub/slaves perspective it's not about disrepecting others (although I am sure it happens which is unfortunate) it's about respecting the will of the (you're gonna love this) the one or one's (oooh close call) that you call master.

It's not about someone else's sub/slave disrespecting you - it's about a sub/slave respecting the person(s) that somewhat/controls them.

You are gor, you have your protocal, we (at least me and mine) are not and do not have to follow your protocal. Nor do we want to be, intentionally, rude to you in being who we are.

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 11

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 2:00:08 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

I do see your point and it is a good topic, but I bet you don't address other Doms by their titles in general. There is no reason to expect subs to address other Doms by their titles if Doms don't address Doms in that manner. Personally, I don't do it, so I don't expect subs I barely know to follow the practice. In chatrooms everyone seems to be pretty much on a first name basis with a Sir thrown in here and there...fine with me.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 12

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 2:03:43 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

As someone else has said if your looking at it from a Gor persepective then ask this in the Gor foumn but from the non-gor forum well why should I call someone Sir,Ma am when they are not.

I show respect to people by not being a smartarse or idiot to them. Dominants that im not serving are just people in the street. No more, no less.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 13

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 2:08:57 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

Maybe you're right. But identifying these interpersonal dynamics issues as syndromes seems overly dramatic to me. Still, I suppose some cutting of slack is in order.

As for stirring up Goreans? I don't do that. I do like to drop in from time to time, though.

Bob

Bob, in a very male way I'll tell you that you are a sweetheart and will happily share my campfire and beers with you any time. One of the things I find many people who have studied or trained in psych do is to see things in a clinical aspect and forget that not all here see things in that way. It took me a long time not to do that.. Gorean? Well I can only say that if you ever want membership in the Gorean Old Farts Brigade I'll admit you as an Honarary GOFB.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 14

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 2:27:15 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfie648

I am not gor.

I have no problem with anyone being gor. Male, female, or exceptions.

I do not believe that every submissive or slave in the world needs to call me master.

Do I enjoy it when they do? Yes.

Do I expect it? No.

Every BDSM relationship has it's own dynamic.

The submissive (don't rake me over the coals for this one) or slave must (my opinion) follow the directions of the dom/domme/master/owner/daddy/mommy/etc.

If the dom/domme/master/etc. says you will call other 'masters' by their title then so be it. If the (title) etc. says you do not have to call them by whatever name then so be it.

I believe (I do not know the protocal here) that in the gor lifestlye that all (only female?) slaves must address, in the gor understanding, masters by their correct title.

In the non-gor lifestyle, from the sub/slaves perspective it's not about disrepecting others (although I am sure it happens which is unfortunate) it's about respecting the will of the (you're gonna love this) the one or one's (oooh close call) that you call master.

It's not about someone else's sub/slave disrespecting you - it's about a sub/slave respecting the person(s) that somewhat/controls them.

You are gor, you have your protocal, we (at least me and mine) are not and do not have to follow your protocal. Nor do we want to be, intentionally, rude to you in being who we are.

D (owner of j)

At what stage do I toss you a can of Fosters and put a few prawns on the B-B-Q for you and your girl???????

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Wolfie648)

Post #: 15

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 3:04:30 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Do I feel I am disrespectful if I do not address a Master as such? absolutey not. Being curtious/polite is respectful IMO.
I don't know about everyone else, but I'll stick to the good ole Dictionary on the definition of a Master it has worked for me and I see no need to change it now to suit others.
( one having authority/ control over another an owner especially of a slave)
If one does not have the authority/ control - and I am not their slave
Why would i address them as such?

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 16

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 3:18:48 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Why on earth would I want to address someone whom I don't submit to as "Sir" or "Master"? That is a title he has given himself. It has nothing to do with me. I don't care what he calls himself. He is a "Sir" or "Master" in his own eyes, not necessarily my eyes. And why does it bother you so much? I can be respectful without having to use an honorific that you've bestowed upon yourself.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 17

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 3:34:44 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Why on earth would I want to address someone whom I don't submit to as "Sir" or "Master"? That is a title he has given himself. It has nothing to do with me. I don't care what he calls himself. He is a "Sir" or "Master" in his own eyes, not necessarily my eyes. And why does it bother you so much? I can be respectful without having to use an honorific that you've bestowed upon yourself.

Well said lass, Respect can be shown in so many ways. Basically I'll give respect to people unless or untill they crap on my feet. Mind you on my local scene, there is one who is known to be unsafe, over the top and complete arseholes that even subs are warned not to trust the guy and to call; for help if he tries to Dom them. I know he was warned that if he ever placed a hand on my Wife/FC or any slave in my collar, that he's probable wake up minus his teeth. He is one person who definately has lost all rigfhts for respect IMOP.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 18

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 3:37:49 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

well for me, i don't do casual bdsm play,(unless i was topping),i dont want to be restrained and paddled.so that cuts alot of the Doms out immediately.

as to the 'one',
i'm only in my early 40's.........so till the time gets here,i'm too old to turn a head.......
.i may very well have more than one, 'one'....till i find the right one.

right now i'm still in learning mode.
answering the 'true' calling in me isnt always easy.

neither will be finding the one

i mean c'mon theirs alot of guys on here,having kids is a dealbreaker for them......so that cuts back so more----------then if you knock out of the line of guys that write that are hng's or wannabe's=the one's i;ll say your not my dom too.....that truly does narrow down the playing field.............then finding one i'm truly compatable enough w/..or one that sees the potential in me.............that narrows it down bunches

so i say i'll wait for the one b/c i dont want a bunch of one's in line

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 19

RE: The one syndrome - 10/25/2005 3:41:57 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Lam, Bob, I'm a little suprised at your attitudes here. Are you in reality saying that Six or anyone else shouldn't come in here and ask querstions for their general education? We all know that Six, like me is Gorean, may be I best confine any questions I have to the Gorean Forum and all posts too. Is this the way things will be? I truely have no problems if CM wants to adopt a "Us & Them" policy separating all the BDSM folk from Goreans, but is you guys who will suffer for you wont be able to come over and stir us up..

ahhhhhh to the us & them policy..............this girl enjoys learning of the Gorean ways!

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 20

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