Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

service oriented


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> service oriented Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
service oriented - 5/29/2008 4:17:06 PM   
janigrey


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not service oriented. More correctly stated He has never asked me to learn anything above and beyond the norm.
I don't think he needs me to learn anything - like a foreign language.

If you're a 'service' oriented submissive/slave what services do you offer? 

I'm in this a need to learn a new skill thought I might get a shove in the right direction.
Perhaps massage - but real massage not just erotic. 


looking for tips - thanks,

jani
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 4:23:15 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		massage is a good one
cooking - I cannot tell you why, (maybe my italian heritage) but I get an almost erousing euphoria eating something that I know was cooked specifically for me
Washing him - nothing else to add to that
bartending - Easy, and great rewards assuming he drinks

thats all I can think of at the moment, obviously not a sub, but maybe it helps :)


_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to janigrey)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 4:25:14 PM   
tinkerbelle3


Posts: 55
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not sure that I would define myself as service oriented, more accurately, I LOVE to, NEED to and WANT to serve him in anyway that brings him pleasure. In addition to keeping a clean house, laundry done, fresh and nutritious food stocked in the kitchen, I've also been learning to belly dance for him. Sometimes he watches me practice and sometimes I put on a performance for him.

I also search for recipes that I think he'll enjoy and ask permission to try something new. Most days I'm allowed to take his shoes off and rub his feet at the end of a long day and I almost always give him a back rub in the evening. Basically, for me, I observe his likes and dislikes then I ask permission to try something new. I hope this is helpful. -tinkerbelle

(in reply to janigrey)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 5:03:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm the least service oriented person I know. But being able to produce a nutricious meal easily and quickly is something everyone should know.

Beyond that, if his job is physical, then yes a massage will always be welcome. Does he have a favorite dessert? Because if he's a peach pie person, then learn how to make one.

Forgot, I have a thing about cars full of garbage. His work van is always full of empty soda cups etc to a point I try to remember to bring an empty bag with me so I can grab the closest junk and get rid of it. He appreciates it to have the cup holder empty and ready for a new cup.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 5/29/2008 5:06:27 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to tinkerbelle3)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 5:04:18 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: janigrey

I'm not service oriented. More correctly stated He has never asked me to learn anything above and beyond the norm.
I don't think he needs me to learn anything - like a foreign language.

If you're a 'service' oriented submissive/slave what services do you offer? 

I'm in this a need to learn a new skill thought I might get a shove in the right direction.
Perhaps massage - but real massage not just erotic. 


looking for tips - thanks,

jani


Massage skills are always a good thing!  Sometimes figuring out new areas of providing service can be a weird mix of observing and asking (subtle or not so subtle) questions.  I know that for me service is really about trying (but not always succeeding, given that I'm human) to provide anything he wants done. 

Mostly I think it ends up resembling a personal assistant and typically ranges from cooking; doing laundry; errands; making sure flowers get delivered to a sick friend; making appointments; when we go on vacations arranging all of the logistics so that all the luggage is packed, reservations made, maps ready, lists of local restaurants with ideas (as well as lists of delivery places), tours, car rental, etc is already taken care of; organization, care, and maintenance of the toys; making sure that the types of food and drink that he prefers are always around; and sometimes just listening to him talk about something and talk it out even if I don't necessarily feel like it. 

There are other things that feel like service to me but don't necessarily fit into a really clear and tangible description like those things I listed but hopefully that helps.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to janigrey)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 5:07:26 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Services I give my Owner:

Cleaning
A minor bit of cooking(she loves it too much)
Coffee preparation
Various Massaging
Nail Painting
Dishwashing
Shower assistance
I also make a nice space heater on cold nights.

DV's Fox

(in reply to tinkerbelle3)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 5:10:00 PM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		But the service need not be erotic, per se, or at all.

Massage is a good one, start with foot massage. Bootblacking or leather care. Do you sew? knit?  Track and pay his bills (not your money: your time) balance his checkbook.

Service also needn't be anything specific, just being alert to what he needs or wants and getting up to get it for him, offering to get or do things for him. If you don't live together, taking things to and picking up at the cleaners, doing laundry, errands. 

(in reply to janigrey)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 5:33:24 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Excellent point Walter. So many subs think service means sexual service. I like my subs to be proficient in the garden, housework, etc. None of it sexual, but very important to me. Because I don't have to do all those things, I'm much more relaxed and more receptive to a subs wishes. They don't always get what they want, but I'm more likely to do it if I'm not worrying about the lawns being mowed and that stupid branch that keeps hitting the window!!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 6:56:42 PM   
janigrey


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		We are now married - so the cleaning and the cooking are things that are done already....and I was looking for non-erotic service ideas.

thank you to those who have offered both types service ideas.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 6:57:45 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I like my subs to be proficient in the garden, housework, etc. None of it sexual, but very important to me.

This is me.  i'm very domestic oriented and domestic skills are what i bring with me, along with others.  Being of service is what's most important to me, whether it's in a sexually intimate relationship or not, whether it's for a male or a female, and whether it's for an individual, a couple, a family, or a logging camp.  Doing whatever needs to be done gives me a great deal of satisfaction and (this may sound really strange to a lot of people) is erotic to me.  It turns me on.
 
Of course, it's much nicer, for me, to be a servant in a sexual relationship but, it's not necessary.  i've done both and both give me satisfaction.  i placed ads offering my services, in exchange for a place in a home, and i found the perfect place for me and it turned out to be so much more wonderful than i ever could have expected.
 
As far as what skills to learn or develop, if you're already with someone, i would choose skills that are desired by the person being served.  Otherwise, i would work on skills that are of interest to me because those are things i would be motivated to put my time and energy into.
 
Edited to add:  Perhaps you could learn to perform a dance for his entertainment or something of that nature.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

< Message edited by slavegirljoy -- 5/29/2008 7:01:19 PM >

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 7:01:00 PM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Walter, you mentioned things a sub could do if they don't live together.

I have a wish that when I find a primary sub, he can handle basic gardening tasks. Nothing is more challenging than living in the region that grows lawn grass seed as a cash crop--so that you can practically watch the grass grow for three months a year--and having the world's worst grass pollen allergies. Haaaah-CHOOOO!!

Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 7:57:53 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Services a female slave can perform for her Male or Female dominant are often quite like the things that a vanilla housewife would already do. Service oriented slaves make excellent homemakers, since they do that mundane everyay stuff as part of their service.
There are some very good online sites and excellent books to learn about massage. Fox learned how for me shortly after getting his collar, since I have a bad back. What he learned was not erotic massage, I taught him a bit of that after the fact.
Do you set out his clothes for him in the mornings? And maybe have somethig ready for him when he gets home from work? I remember a friend of mine saying that she knew when her Master was coming home from work, he liked to change out of his work clothes as soos as possible, so she would lay out something more comfortable and slip his slippers under the radiator in the winter so they were toasty warm when he put them on.
Finances are also a plus, which you may or may not already take care of.
Bath and shower help is lovely too, you can wash him when he showers. It doesnt have to be erotic, but it can be.
What about shaving him? Face and/or other body parts?
Washing his car?

Think about the things he does on a normal basis that arent work related or a hobby of his. CAn you take any of those off his hands, and do them for him to free up his time to enjoy himself more? Thats how Fox figured out what to do for me. I dont like dishes and vacuuming. Those were the first 2 things he learend to do for me.

DV






_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DelilahDeb)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 8:23:39 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings,

Here are some of the things I do for SJ as part of my service to him. 

Household chores:  keep the kitchen in a state of readiness as he is a gourmet chef, keep his water pitcher full, dishes, laundry, sewing, floors swept and mopped, rugs beaten, carpets vacuumed, bathroom scrubbed, sheets changed, clean out kitty litter pan, trash to the cans - cans to the curb, recycling to the curb, clean out the car, wash the car, and anything else he wants done.

Personal attendant:  Pedicures weekly, foot massages nightly, socks and shoes on and off daily, massage and scratch his back, brush his hair (yum), wash him when he allows, lay out his clothes when he allows and anything else he wants done.

Business consultant:  Manage his classes and clients, marketing, advertising production, be a sounding board for ideas, be a guinea pig for new programs, and anything else he wants done.

Exotic/erotic: dance for him, be as enthusiastic about being with anyone to whom he gives me as I am about him, be playful and joyous, tell him when I am thinking of naughty things, allow my emotions to flow through me in reaction to anything he does, suffer for him, and anything else he wants done.

Transformative:  take belly dancing classes, practice yoga, walk daily, eat right, good hygiene, grow my hair long, read what he tells me to read, watch what he tells me to watch, listen to what he wants me to hear and anything else he wants done.

I think the most important service I perform daily is that I listen to SJ.  I hear what he says to me, so that when he mentions something from his childhood which he particularly enjoyed and hasn't had in 20 years, I can get it for him.  I listen so I know what he does not find attractive in other women.  I listen so I can engage with him in conversations about a wide variety of topics.  I listen because he likes it when his girl hears him. 

well wishes ~ fairer than she






_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to janigrey)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 8:32:55 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

What about shaving him? Face and/or other body parts?

Oh, that's a good one that i forgot to mention.  i do shave my Master's face and He enjoys that very much and, talk about trust, He puts a razor in my hand and has me put it to His throat.  And, i am always nervous and pray that i don't nick Him.  He loves the hot towel i put on His face and just relaxing in the chair while i give Him a smooth shave.
 
One thing that i talked with Him about was getting me trained in cutting hair so that i can give Him a good haircut at home, whenever He needs it and without having to pay someone.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 10:36:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_1439450/mpage_3/key_skills/tm.htm#1440371
submissive skills

http://www.collarchat.com/m_987422/mpage_1/key_skills/tm.htm#987482
What do you bring to the table?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_268592/mpage_1/key_skills%252Csub/tm.htm#268592
service skills!!!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_789802/mpage_1/key_skills/tm.htm#789805
the submissive brag thread

Reposted:
Good question, and there's no possible way I can include them all:

Good working knowledge of pop culture and classical cinema, theater, music and literature.

Excellent background in debate and contextualizing, excellent research skills.

Quick learner, follows directions well

Fastidious organizer, excellent relational memory and trivialist

Offline friendships and contacts to the scene on many levels

Young and in fairly good physical condition, no diseases

Sexually educated and experienced

Computer literate with moderate level of experience in average office programs and database management

No children or sick relatives currently needing daily attending

Independent means of transportation

Excellent shopping and styling skills

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to janigrey)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 11:09:57 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Just a side note when I think of someone learning a service for me I think of them learning that skill to a high degree of proficiency.
Someone says laundry I think OK so they know how to seperate loads wash them dry them and fold them, not a big deal, you know if they said wardrobe care and carried it to the highest standards then my interest would be higher than if they say they do the laundry, because laundry just doesn't automaticly include knowing how to clean and care for the various natural and synthetic fiber clothing from casual to formal attire, from washing and drying to pressing to storage to mending.

edited to add: If you take that same thought process and extend it to the other regular duties you perform then you'll go a long ways towards finding a superior level of service.


< Message edited by Archer -- 5/29/2008 11:12:07 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 11:16:09 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I cook, clean, and wash clothes.  I am his companion so he never needs to feel alone.  When he's working on a project i'm his MSG (moral support groupie). 

(in reply to janigrey)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: service oriented - 5/29/2008 11:29:57 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Just a side note when I think of someone learning a service for me I think of them learning that skill to a high degree of proficiency.
Someone says laundry I think OK so they know how to seperate loads wash them dry them and fold them, not a big deal, you know if they said wardrobe care and carried it to the highest standards then my interest would be higher than if they say they do the laundry, because laundry just doesn't automaticly include knowing how to clean and care for the various natural and synthetic fiber clothing from casual to formal attire, from washing and drying to pressing to storage to mending.

edited to add: If you take that same thought process and extend it to the other regular duties you perform then you'll go a long ways towards finding a superior level of service.



Greetings Sir,

Thank you for pointing out these differences.  I believe it is my duty to perform each of the tasks I listed to the best of my ability.  SJ deserves my best no matter what it is I am doing. 

The satisfaction of knowing I have not slacked off on taking care of the kitty litter or the trash or some other mundane chore allows me to fully enjoy the moments when I kneel before him and remove his shoes. 

I don't consider myself to be proficient in every area of service, however, I do hold a high degree of proficiency in intention and attitude.  Sometimes heart makes up for my shortcomings as I continue to learn all he wants me to know.

well wishes ~ fairer than she


_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: service oriented - 5/30/2008 12:43:11 AM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Well, service orientated can mean anything from outside and totally outright non personal services (eg, gardening, housework, providing any service or offering such service to the D). It can also mean simple actions as to keeping company or having a conversation and providing ideas or suggestions. From chores to seeking better ways that the D can make life easier to the D. All these are part of a service orientated sub.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: service oriented - 5/30/2008 12:43:24 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Just a side note when I think of someone learning a service for me I think of them learning that skill to a high degree of proficiency.
Someone says laundry I think OK so they know how to seperate loads wash them dry them and fold them, not a big deal, you know if they said wardrobe care and carried it to the highest standards then my interest would be higher than if they say they do the laundry, because laundry just doesn't automaticly include knowing how to clean and care for the various natural and synthetic fiber clothing from casual to formal attire, from washing and drying to pressing to storage to mending.

edited to add: If you take that same thought process and extend it to the other regular duties you perform then you'll go a long ways towards finding a superior level of service.



I have to come in here and agree with this 100%.

I don't know what it is, maybe society is too fixated on genitalia or whatever, but for me service isn't really anything to do with sex and it need not be anything even remotely intimate.

Okay, so yes, you can do housework, clean, and all the other usual stuff such as gardening and massage and stuff, but can you do it really to a high standard?

I operate a criteria here for the things I offer as a service. Could my Dominant refer me to someone else who would be willing to hire or pay me for what I do, pay me well and be happy and satisfied with the level of service I give? If yes, then these are the things I offer a potential Dominant as service, not necessarily things and stuff I can do around the home.

Just to give you an idea. Sometimes I offer a Domme domestic service, usually temporary and I offer to do it just to help her out, but quite often she pays me for my work and service. This has happened on a number of occasions.

It's not just domestic work, it can also be secretarial work, care work, pet care, housesitting, I also do astrological readings, acupressuire, massage, anything to do with a computer (hardware and software) and website design.

Service to me si something you can do well which you can offer your Dominant to make their life easier, better, more convenient, it's things they can entrust to you, leave you in charge of, and things which if you did for other people other than your Dominant would probably impress them.

I disagree that knowledge about current affairs or the arts or something is a service, I don't rate such things as being especially understanding, compasssionate, or a good listener as a service, it's just part of who I am, it comes with me, the whole package, and isn't really a service. It cannot be a service because there's a lot of things I don't know, or understand much.

This is just my own individual approach here. It comes from previous years of being a perfectionist and ending up constantly disappointed with results which didn't bode well for my self-confidence (which is why I quit).

You see the thing is with stuff like domestic work it will never be perfect anyway, and if you ever care to examine someone's domestic cleaning closely enough with a bit of effort you will soon come up against some sort of imperfection.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> service oriented Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.156