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On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 10:10:01 AM

footlover55

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

I am an aging single man with an agenda. That agenda includes any available woman, dominant or not. So truthfully the scene is no scene for people like me. However I am finding that treating a girlfriend like a domme/queen has some positive effects. I listen to everything the girls say, I mean everything. Also I try to pamper and spoil them as much as possible. Doing all this I seem to get a lot further then before. I think every guy should be trained as a womans slave for a little while.

Post #: 1

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 10:22:26 AM

abcbsex

Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline

Unless the vanilla woman is a secret sub, I think you're onto something.

_____________________________

I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.

(in reply to footlover55)

Post #: 2

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 11:15:58 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: footlover55

I am an aging single man with an agenda. That agenda includes any available woman, dominant or not. So truthfully the scene is no scene for people like me. However I am finding that treating a girlfriend like a domme/queen has some positive effects. I listen to everything the girls say, I mean everything. Also I try to pamper and spoil them as much as possible. Doing all this I seem to get a lot further then before. I think every guy should be trained as a womans slave for a little while.

Hmmmm, I think you discovered something there...it's simply called being a gentleman. Who would have thought that treating a woman nice, being supportive, and being attentive to her and her needs would actually be the way to her heart? Wow...could have knocked me over with a feather with that discovery.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to footlover55)

Post #: 3

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 11:55:51 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Treating any woman like a woman, would have a better effect. Dominant or vanilla doesnt really come into it. So you have the right idea at least.

Woman first, Domina second. Is also a good plan, as no one likes being treated like a sex object. Except me, maybe, perhaps.

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 4

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 2:57:35 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Its funny how this topic came along.... i had the exact opposite happen to me in my 12 year experience with the one vanilla partner i was involved and later got married with. When i was treating her bad as boyfriend and girlfriend did all the wrong things she still wanted to get married to me, and the reason why i did all these was to make sure that she was going to stay with me as a lifelong partner... When my attitude changed and paid more respect to her as an equal partner once the marriage was into place she started losing interest in our relationship and she decided to call it quits.... Once when i queried her why was the reason for leaving me, she even told me that our relationship had more interest when i was an asshole.. (Along with the new muggy that she found along the side...) But the old say : "Treat them mean keep them keen" has found some grounds to my past experience..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 5

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 3:09:49 PM

ricar00

Posts: 45
Joined: 2/11/2006
Status: offline

About 6 months i asked my wife of 30 years to let me be her slave. The weird thing is that we tried this over and over again over the years with little success. However this time, i tried to explain to her how i needed a D/s type relationship with her but in a "vanilla way" because she is NOT kinky in any way.

We tried again this time (the umpteenth) time and this time i followed through every day and have been her "vanilla" slave since. She told me why hadn't we done this before and i laughed because i had been trying for years and years. She also knew that i was serious about my needs this time as well as the fact that we went through a crisis in our marriage because of my D/s relationship with a domme outside the marriage.

So so far, it has been working. I love serving her, but i do have to say that sometimes it is not as easy or wonderful as it looks. But i am so happy to be pleasing her and helping her.

ricar009

(in reply to footlover55)

Post #: 6

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 3:46:37 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

i am glad its working out well for you ricar.

(in reply to ricar00)

Post #: 7

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 4:36:39 PM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

Thank you for your post and your thoughtful profile. You are an inspiration.

I've not yet searched for and read your other posts so this may be redundant, but any additional info or insights you can add would be received with gratitude.

How is / was your 'nilla relationship with your spouse prior? How has the nature of the 'nilla relationship changed? And remained the same? I'm puzzled by "Vanilla Slave." How does that manifest itself? Is it greatly different from your ideal or is it a matter of semantics? Did your idea of “slave” change over time?

How did you initially approach your spouse with your D/s needs? You indicated several attempts. Did your approach change over time? Do you credit your ultimate “success” to a change in tactics or changes in your relationship, better communication, changing expectations, life experience, other, all of the above?

Forgive my spelling and grammar. I'm working on about 15 hours sleep for the week and the screen keeps moving. :-)

Sincerely.
TnC

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to ricar00)

Post #: 8

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 6:34:15 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

LOL, I agree... being a gentleman is a rare rare thing.

While I won't kiss a Domme's hand I will bow the head a nod when shaking it.

I also do many other things that I just consider "gentlmanly"

whats funny though is that I have been confused many times as being a Sub because of my niceities... in fact that is how my girlfriend and I started bonding...I thought she was flirting with me she thought I was offering to submit to her...
once we realized the miscommunication we had a good laugh and it wasn't long before we were dating as equals...and now we are quite good at co-domming during scenes together.

Personally I had to make an effort to differentiate my pleasantries from my Dom characteristics...and I think i've done a good job judging by the compliments I have recieved.

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 9

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 6:35:04 PM

uncllrdnfla

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/15/2005
Status: offline

excellent topic!!

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 10

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 8:04:03 PM

mule01

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: footlover55

I am an aging single man with an agenda. That agenda includes any available woman, dominant or not. So truthfully the scene is no scene for people like me. However I am finding that treating a girlfriend like a domme/queen has some positive effects. I listen to everything the girls say, I mean everything. Also I try to pamper and spoil them as much as possible. Doing all this I seem to get a lot further then before. I think every guy should be trained as a womans slave for a little while.

When everything is sacred, nothing is. I understand the visceral need to serve a Woman, especially as an aging man. It is the male lot in life to always be chasing the Female, but our first step should always be discrimination—not any port in the storm. Even at the age of fifty-five, there is much a man can do for a young Lady, if he shows enough merit. What exactly does "getting a little further" entail, btw?

I like that you listen and pamper, but the "I think every guy should be trained as a Woman's slave for a little while" sounds so finite and transitory. Pull back, breath in and concentrate with the aim of one well shot arrow rather than tossing a hundred toward anything that comes along. Focusing your energies on a single Woman and making Her your Goddess is far more healthy and productive.

_____________________________

w w w . m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

H u m b l e d m a l e s

(in reply to footlover55)

Post #: 11

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 8:32:15 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I believe being a gentleman should never go out of fashion. I dont , however, see it as being submissive. I know just as many Dominant men who pamper and spoil their girlfriends, who listen to every word their girlfriends say. Just becasue some of those girlfriends are submissive and might hapen to serve him as well doesnt change the fact that he bends over backwards to make her happy.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to mule01)

Post #: 12

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 8:47:13 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

As the saying goes "Treat whores like queens and queens like whores." Works almost every time.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 13

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 8:59:04 PM

MISTRESSKUMA

Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I believe being a gentleman should never go out of fashion. I dont , however, see it as being submissive.

I agree. Being a gentleman is one thing, and you don't have to be submissive to be a gentleman....

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I know just as many Dominant men who pamper and spoil their girlfriends, who listen to every word their girlfriends say.

...however, spoiling and pampering is another thing and it's called "serving". If you're pampering and spoiling your girlfriend, you're not dominating her, you're serving her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Just becasue some of those girlfriends are submissive and might happen to serve him as well doesnt change the fact that he bends over backwards to make her happy.

Oh sure, those dominant men who pamper and spoil their "princesses" who really rule over them. lol.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 14

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 9:00:45 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

As the saying goes "Treat whores like queens and queens like whores." Works almost every time.

I have never heard that saying.. I can say that I have treated whores like queens and gotten a good response... I have not done the other... it would be an interesting experiment that I will have to try out quite soon!

Cheers
Skully

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 15

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/30/2008 9:08:40 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

Oh sure, those dominant men who pamper and spoil their "princesses" who really rule over them. lol.

Yep. They are called "Daddy Doms". I like 'em. But you didn't hear me admit to that.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MISTRESSKUMA)

Post #: 16

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 12:20:15 AM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

Oh sure, those dominant men who pamper and spoil their "princesses" who really rule over them. lol.

Yep. They are called "Daddy Doms". I like 'em. But you didn't hear me admit to that.

I was so very happy to learn that there was an alternative type of male Dom when I was first starting out. I certainly wasn't some Strict asshole bark orders type of corporal dom...(well I find I can be like that with the male subs sometimes, but only if I get a good response from them)

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 17

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 1:50:18 AM

chezzy71

Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline

Just don't lie...period.Everything else is common sense.

(in reply to Skully7000)

Post #: 18

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 2:11:14 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

OP, it sounds to me like you are just being nice to women, ANY women, just to get what you want. There's nothing slavish about that, you're just another self serving guy trying to get his own way with women.

Slavery and gentlemanly behaviour are not the same thing. Slaves are gentlemen, but gentlemen aren't necessarily slaves.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to chezzy71)

Post #: 19

RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 2:27:19 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Wisely answered by a noble Lady..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 20

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