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RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 6:15:10 AM

MySweetSubmssive

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From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

Hmmmm, I think you discovered something there...it's simply called being a gentleman.

Nicely stated. Gentlemanly behavior, from a submissive, dominant or other, slays me.

Mss

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RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 9:53:01 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
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Skully7000,

quote:

MsStarlett:
As the saying goes "Treat whores like queens and queens like whores." Works almost *every* time.

Skully7000:
I have never heard that saying... I can say that I have treated whores like queens and gotten a good response... I have not done the other... it would be an interesting experiment that I will have to try out quite soon!

I've tried both experiments and can vouch for the fact that when in the right context, they work with extremely positive results. However, herein lays an important caveat: timing and context are everything. Whether Dominant, switch, submissive, or vanilla, I don't think you'll get positive results if the subject doesn't feel like being treated whorishly at the time. Sometimes this may be with respect and love, and other times this might be in a more objectified way. This is another critical factor too: approach and results depend greatly on the dynamics the scientist has with the subject. I can say one thing with almost certainty though, whether the woman is the top or bottom, this is one of the few instances I'll readily proclaim without addendum "it's all about what She wants". :-)

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 5/31/2008 10:04:32 AM >

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RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 9:58:32 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA

Oh sure, those dominant men who pamper and spoil their "princesses" who really rule over them. lol.

I never said they were princesses. I said these are men who are interested in having happy partners. They are definately dominant. Their girls serve, they are service and sexual submissives. It doesnt make someone less dominant to spoil their partner. It certianly isnt service oriented when I spoil my boys. I am not serving them by making dinner if I cook better than they do. You might have a VERY narrow view of service and the like.

I have always sees these M/f couples as extremely happy. When she is good, she gets spoiled. He enjoys bringing little things or doing little things for her. She knows better than to think that his liking her to be happy means she can get away with anything. It just means he treats her as a person and a girlfriend and not solely as a slave all the time.

It might not work for you or in your definition, but it certainly has worked weill fr them, going on 5 years of bliss.

DV

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RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 10:00:13 AM

Steponme73

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
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Every woman should be treated with respect. However, there are those few, or that one, that you become a slave to. You treat her with more than respect...more like reverence. She is your ruler, your goddess, your Queen...
That is the way I see it.

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RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 3:03:44 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

Skully7000,

quote:

MsStarlett:
As the saying goes "Treat whores like queens and queens like whores." Works almost *every* time.

Skully7000:
I have never heard that saying... I can say that I have treated whores like queens and gotten a good response... I have not done the other... it would be an interesting experiment that I will have to try out quite soon!

I've tried both experiments and can vouch for the fact that when in the right context, they work with extremely positive results. However, herein lays an important caveat: timing and context are everything. Whether Dominant, switch, submissive, or vanilla, I don't think you'll get positive results if the subject doesn't feel like being treated whorishly at the time. Sometimes this may be with respect and love, and other times this might be in a more objectified way. This is another critical factor too: approach and results depend greatly on the dynamics the scientist has with the subject. I can say one thing with almost certainty though, whether the woman is the top or bottom, this is one of the few instances I'll readily proclaim without addendum "it's all about what She wants". :-)

Elan.

ahh and there in lies the loose variables that can plague any good experiment.
I certainly thank you for your input:)
Cheers
Skully

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RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 5/31/2008 4:08:36 PM

petpete

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Joined: 7/6/2007
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Steponme, just like us we happen to be submissive in our nature so as the female gender has its fair share of aggressive or submissive personalities and what turns them on. Surely no matter what we all start of the same platform and should respect each other as equal people. We all need to survive and hate to feel that we get taken advantage of because of what we are. So i will agree with you about the fact that we need to treat each other as equals and with respect until we feel that trust to allow the person that has chosen us to become what they want from us. It would be ludicrous and certainly non acceptable to any rightful member of the opposite sex to treat them like Dommes from the moment we meet them.. Surely they would also made to be very uncomfortable having to be treated in that respect from someone they don't really want to, or feel attracted to have in there possession. On the other hand i believe just like any good trainer a good Domme would allow a good settling in time for an uncomfortable or unconvincing sub. Many people have been hurt from past relationships and not just from D/s relationships but also from vanilla and have grown to be more dependable on themselves. Exploration of each others psychology and theory about expectations should be the next step after finding each other attracted from the outside. Getting to know the partner is the key to reaching each others souls.

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RE: On treating Vanilla women like Dommes. - 6/2/2008 9:37:57 AM

footlover55

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Joined: 5/11/2008
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Well actually I did read a book called "The Gentleman's Guide to Dating." which explains CCR, I forget what it means but one of the C's is compassion. Anyways I'm in a relationship that to date is casual and not sexual. I do go out of my way to make sure the lady is comfortable. It was serendipitous that she has dominant tendencies. It definately isn't servitude, though I wouldn't mind doing that for her too. However right now it is just too casual. But where is the line drawn between just being a gentleman and serving?

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Post #: 27