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RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation - 6/1/2008 9:53:59 AM   
jonathan


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i have found that teasing & denial are effective in increasing the libido, particularly when a chastity device is involved. Having to beg to be unlocked has a profound effect on the psyche. And then the masturbation in Her presence.

my $1.25 on the subject. Inflation, you know.


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jonathan
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RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation - 6/1/2008 11:04:08 AM   
Wheldrake


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One more data point for DominantJenny's files...

When I'm not allowed to ejaculate, erotic thoughts and feelings of sexual tension increase over the first few days, and then level off. It's a frustrating and sometimes distracting mental state to be in, but in a way it's also kind of fun - I enjoy sexual arousal for it's own sake, and in a state of denial I spend a lot more time aroused. Being busy, drinking a bit of alcohol, and trying not to think about sex too much are all things that make denial easier to handle. Perhaps surprisingly, I also find that masturbation seems to reduce the tension even when I have to stop short of an orgasm, so my Mistress would just make things easier if she ordered me to get myself to "the edge" and then stop. A strict no-touching rule, apart from cleaning and bathroom functions, is much tougher from my point of view.

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RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation - 6/2/2008 6:53:29 AM   
DominantJenny


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake

One more data point for DominantJenny's files...

When I'm not allowed to ejaculate, erotic thoughts and feelings of sexual tension increase over the first few days, and then level off. It's a frustrating and sometimes distracting mental state to be in, but in a way it's also kind of fun - I enjoy sexual arousal for it's own sake, and in a state of denial I spend a lot more time aroused. Being busy, drinking a bit of alcohol, and trying not to think about sex too much are all things that make denial easier to handle. Perhaps surprisingly, I also find that masturbation seems to reduce the tension even when I have to stop short of an orgasm, so my Mistress would just make things easier if she ordered me to get myself to "the edge" and then stop. A strict no-touching rule, apart from cleaning and bathroom functions, is much tougher from my point of view.



Thank you! That last bit is a particularly valuable data point for me...I'll be discussing it with my guy. :)

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RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation - 6/2/2008 7:49:52 AM   
pixelslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

For years, I practiced orgasm delay/denial with my slave. Then one day I had a small epiphany...I find that, for myself, when I masturbate more often, I am generally more aroused. So I've turned my rules on their head a bit, and started requiring masturbation instead! It's a bit tricky for us to maintain any rituals these days (with a nearly 3 year old and another on the way), but I did have this idea for one where each night would feature a spanking (or equivalent) (to whatever degree I felt like, short and sweet or long and not-so-sweet, etc), and every morning (if he did not orgasm that night), he was to masturbate in the shower. As I said, rituals are a challenge around here, but for the couple of weeks we kept it up, it seemed to be having a noticable effect.
(Note: My guy has a somewhat lower libido than I do, generally. If he had a higher one, I'd probably find orgasm delay a lot more successful. :P)

So, what are your experiences, opinions? Guys, what do you find keeps you in a more highly aroused/ready state? Women, have any of you ever tried this and how did it go for you? Is it just us? :P


First, I'll say that I very strongly believe that the brain is the largest sex organ in the body.  My brain needs to be stimulated on a regular basis in order to be aroused.  With previous Mistresses, one of the things that worked for us to help that, which we found to be very mutual, was to exchange text messages throughout the day which pushed both of our buttons.  I enjoy being teased and the build up is a good thing.  Being denied afterward isn't when it comes to me.
 
Chastity and denial is something that has been detrimental for me in the past with other Mistresses.  My most recent Mistress encouraged me to masturbate when we weren't together and that helped a great deal in overcoming some of the previous conditioning.  I wouldn't consider entering into a relationship with a woman where chastity was going to be a part of it.  I very much enjoy a Mistress being part of or sharing my orgasms as I feel they're hers every bit as much as mine.  I'm also the type that generally only has fantasies about the woman I'm involved with.  Unfortunately, this also makes it difficult to get especially aroused when I'm not seeing someone in particular.
 
In direct answer to your question, I think you're on the right track with getting him aroused through evening spankings or other intimacy and then if he doesn't ejaculate afterward, having him give himself a release the following morning.  I think that's healthy for him both physically and emotionally.
 
 - pixel
 


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