Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation

Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

DominantJenny -> Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 10:48:51 AM)
For years, I practiced orgasm delay/denial with my slave. Then one day I had a small epiphany...I find that, for myself, when I masturbate more often, I am generally more aroused. So I've turned my rules on their head a bit, and started requiring masturbation instead! It's a bit tricky for us to maintain any rituals these days (with a nearly 3 year old and another on the way), but I did have this idea for one where each night would feature a spanking (or equivalent) (to whatever degree I felt like, short and sweet or long and not-so-sweet, etc), and every morning (if he did not orgasm that night), he was to masturbate in the shower. As I said, rituals are a challenge around here, but for the couple of weeks we kept it up, it seemed to be having a noticable effect. (Note: My guy has a somewhat lower libido than I do, generally. If he had a higher one, I'd probably find orgasm delay a lot more successful. :P) So, what are your experiences, opinions? Guys, what do you find keeps you in a more highly aroused/ready state? Women, have any of you ever tried this and how did it go for you? Is it just us? :P

GoddessTeaze -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 11:29:42 AM)
Let him edge, wank till the edge and No cum, that will keep him horny. That's how they stay everready! I wish you enough GoddezzT`

ElanSubdued -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 12:20:10 PM)
GoddessTeaze, quote: Let him edge, wank till the edge and No cum, that will keep him horny. That's how they stay everready! Respectfully, yes and no, at least for this submissive. What I generally find is that a few days of edging (masturbating to the edge of orgasm and then stopping) does get me going. However, if this is continued over multiple weeks, eventually my body switches off, my sexual desire decreases, and I loose my ability to orgasm. I find this same result with chastity where the chastity is used to prevent orgasm for long periods of time. Short term chastity or chastity where I am allowed orgasm and then put back in my "cage" tends to increase my sexual desire for my partner. Longer term, no orgasms at all chastity completely switches off my sexual response and desire. I think this is because my mind and body get used to living without the sexual buildup and release curve and thus I no longer desire it. I'm not sure how all this works when I'm still able to be sexually intimate with my partner, but not have any release myself. Perhaps, using a pamper my partner / get my partner off, but no release for me approach, my desire might still be maintained. What I do no for sure is that when I am denied all sexual interaction with my partner over long periods of time, eventually I lose sexual desire for her and sexual desire in general. Conversely, short periods of denied sexual interaction with my partner tend to increase my desire for her. And, just to screw up the psychological and physical principles at work here, continuous sexual interaction with my partner also increases my desire for her. Go figure. :-) Oh. Darn. I just realized the significance of your handle. Yes, there are times when the obvious slips by me. I hope you don't think I'm raining of your kink. In the right quantity, I enjoy tease and denial quite a lot. :-) Elan.

ElanSubdued -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 12:33:44 PM)
Dominant Jenny, quote: For years, I practiced orgasm delay/denial with my slave. Then one day I had a small epiphany... I find that, for myself, when I masturbate more often, I am generally more aroused. So I've turned my rules on their head a bit, and started requiring masturbation instead! It's a bit tricky for us to maintain any rituals these days (with a nearly 3 year old and another on the way), but I did have this idea for one where each night would feature a spanking (or equivalent) (to whatever degree I felt like, short and sweet or long and not-so-sweet, etc), and every morning (if he did not orgasm that night), he was to masturbate in the shower. As I said, rituals are a challenge around here, but for the couple of weeks we kept it up, it seemed to be having a noticable effect. My oh my, what interesting epiphanies you have. :-) I've found, as you have, that when I masturbate more often, I am generally more aroused, have more sexual desire for my partner, and desire to give and receive release more frequently. Part of this is because putting the factory on overtime causes an increase in "production" - if you get my drift. However, I think most of the reason is psychological rather than physical overstocking. When I'm having sexual thoughts about my partner, thinking sexual thoughts in general, and sexually engaging my body, this tends to act like a wheel already in motion. Either that or I'm just a greedy pig. The more I have, the more I want. :-) In any event, when the wheel is stationary for long periods, it is sometimes difficult to get it moving again. Elan.

DominantJenny -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 1:38:35 PM)
That's part of my standard orgasm delay/denial play. As Elan said, it works for mine in the short term, but over longer periods, he actually gets less aroused/responsive to it.

thetammyjo -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 1:40:14 PM)
Actually Fox has standing order to find a new way to masturbate and practice that at least twice a week until I ask him how that's going then he has to find a new way again. My point is to help him become more flexible and to realize that his sexuality is mine to command not to simply deny. I think denying is far easier than utilize orgasm in other ways. I'm not trying to bash those that love denial but I find orgasm control which actually involves orgasms more interesting myself and for Fox makes for a happier slave. Of course he serves to serve, he is my slave and not in this for sex or because of a sexual desire. I'm betting that makes a difference in what works best for each individual. There is no right way only the way that is best for you.

DominantJenny -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 1:40:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued My oh my, what interesting epiphanies you have. :-). grin I try. ;) nodding Exactly my thinking. (What a surprise. ;P)

DominantJenny -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 1:43:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo Actually Fox has standing order to find a new way to masturbate and practice that at least twice a week until I ask him how that's going then he has to find a new way again. My point is to help him become more flexible and to realize that his sexuality is mine to command not to simply deny. I think denying is far easier than utilize orgasm in other ways. I'm not trying to bash those that love denial but I find orgasm control which actually involves orgasms more interesting myself and for Fox makes for a happier slave. Of course he serves to serve, he is my slave and not in this for sex or because of a sexual desire. I'm betting that makes a difference in what works best for each individual. There is no right way only the way that is best for you. Interesting! When things settle down a bit around here, maybe I'll give that one a try for a while myself. :) nodding in agreement and understanding Oh, agreed...I'm not wanting/don't need to make him more willing to serve, but I'm happier when he's hornier. chuckle

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 2:08:15 PM)
Angel and Fox are both not allowed to masturbate when I am not around. For both, it seems to keep them more on edge, since once I am present again, they know I am usually going to get them there. Fox and I are lovers, so keeping him celibate when I am not around makes for far more interesting sex when I am again. Angel is conditioned that he can only cum when the smell of baby oil is present anyway, and since I do not leave my baby oil there but bring it with me in my 'diaper bag' when I visit, I dont have to worry. He and I both greatly enjoy the control I have over his orgasms, reminding him that I own his sexuality among other things. When we are separated for extended periods becaue of schedules and work related things, he is permitted to ask to masturbate, but eve then he has to be on the phone with me to do so and it tends to take far longer since there is no baby oil present. I am sure in an everyday live in situation this wil have to be adjusted, but for now it works well. DV

Reigna -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 2:22:28 PM)
Without question, my sub is hornier and I'm happier when he's allowed to come more often. Too much tease and denial flips the circuits off somehow, which is NOT the effect I'm after. I restrict his masturbation a few days a week at random, and give him free rein at other times. I probably will start requiring masturbation at certain times. In any case, his orgasms are for my pleasure, doncha know, and even on days when we're not together I arrange to enjoy them in some fashion, by requiring a report, a voice mail, photos or such. Regarding chastity devices, I rarely use them for more than 48 hours at a time, and mostly because they look hot, somehow. He's quite capable of keeping his hands out of his panties when told to do so.

ricar00 -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 3:02:09 PM)
i am older, so if i am denied orgasm or even masturbating i can tend to lose the urge. The one domme i did have who went the route of making me masturbate and cum had me cum at least 6 or 7 times a day and there were times that i was so stressed trying to find a way to meet those demands that i almost went crazy. She had the right idea, though making someone masturbate without cumming also can work. ricar00

TermsConditions -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 4:47:23 PM)
Hmm. I have no point of reference. Someday I'll have to skip masterbating for a few hours and see what that's like.

Skully7000 -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 6:21:28 PM)
my g/f has a standard order that she has to masturbate every morning...she is clinically bi-polar...and the meds help but not 100%. regular masturbation does a great job of boosting the brains chemical production in just the right ways. her owner and I can tell when she hasn't been following her orders for a couple days. I admit its annoying but also fun to be woken up to her masturbating...usually we have sex right afterwards which is just an added bonus:) keeping it on topic...I agree that masturbation is often better then denial. especially when they are extremely tired and don't have the energy for it...making them get aroused and masturbate is alot of work...plus they are now thinking of you while they are doing it... hurray positive reinforcement! Cheers Skully

MsStarlett -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/30/2008 9:30:16 PM)
Interesting reading material here. I've never really been into orgasm control, denial or forced masturbation. I've only been dabbling in it with one of my on-line subs. He enjoys chastity devises... I enjoy tormenting him by sending him photos before his appointed release date & time. However, I believe that there is no set rule as to what works with all men (or women) across the board as each human is very unique in their sexuality. Not exactly sure how to say that. But what works for one will not work for all.

malloves69 -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/31/2008 4:53:01 AM)
dont like to masturbate ...rather share my orgasm with my mistress when we are together [:)] one way or another she is going to get me to cum [:)] love those prostate massages [:)] she knows my prostate well i swear her fingers are magical [:)] love the sex we have too ..just wish it was more then once a week when we see each other only 1 time in a week ...when i do cum its gets me more that i have to clean up one way or another [:)]love her handjobs too ..she does have some nice and soft hands [:)] seems like the older i have gotten the less i masturbate ..used to do it lots when i was younger ..those darn penthouse letters were the best [:)] have fun mal

DominantJenny -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/31/2008 5:15:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Skully7000 keeping it on topic...I agree that masturbation is often better then denial. especially when they are extremely tired and don't have the energy for it...making them get aroused and masturbate is alot of work...plus they are now thinking of you while they are doing it... hurray positive reinforcement! Cheers Skully Ooh! I haven't done that! puts it on list :)

firefey -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (5/31/2008 4:01:32 PM)
physiologically speaking elan has it more or less covered. for men (since that's who we're talking about here) they have a shorter hormonal curve, and tend to be ready more often and more quickly than women. we all know this. but repression of any bodily function for prolonged periods will cause a drop in the need for said function. and much as we (society in general) might like to think other wise sex and sexual release is a need. i know with me and my pet, i see him often. we are very sexually active. but his orgasim is by permission and at my discression. sometimes this means with me, sometimes this means at my command, and sometimes this means not at all. as i'm a voyer and like to watch him bring himself to orgasm, this is the prefference for me. at this time the longest he's gone has been a week, and that was hard for him. his words, not mine. especially since we did not go without stimuluous or contact for the week. and that is, i think another part of the equation. we are lucky enough to be with eachother all the time, soon to move in together (happy me!!), and this means i can put him into a state of arousal at whim. but make him wait for the fulfillment of that arousal.

aidan -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (6/1/2008 1:13:06 AM)
Having gone through some rather long periods of chastity (sometimes almost two months), I didn't notice a drop-off in sexual arousal. What does change is my overall mood. I don't cum, and I get quite agitated and cranky...well, more so than usual. By the end of that nigh-two-months, I was about ready to rip into the jugular of anybody who coughed funny in my general vicinity. I much prefer to be able to cum regularly, and thank the gods Mistress does too.

hardbodysub -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (6/1/2008 7:27:58 AM)
Masturbating more often does not make me more aroused, at least if you mean masturbating to orgasm. I find that not having an orgasm for a few days increases my arousal, as well as the intensity and volume of the ejaculation. Going without orgasm for long periods (I went 30 days once, at the instruction of a domme), didn't increase arousal or intensity of orgasm much; in fact, the orgasm may have been less intense.

DominantJenny -> RE: Orgasm denial vs. Masturbation (6/1/2008 9:44:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hardbodysub Masturbating more often does not make me more aroused, at least if you mean masturbating to orgasm. I find that not having an orgasm for a few days increases my arousal, as well as the intensity and volume of the ejaculation. Going without orgasm for long periods (I went 30 days once, at the instruction of a domme), didn't increase arousal or intensity of orgasm much; in fact, the orgasm may have been less intense. So it sounds like denial for a few days works for most, but beyond a few days, it either levels out or actually reduces arousal and/or quality of orgasm. For some, stimulation without orgasm works for a while, but, again, extended periods (beyond say a week) tend to start to backfire. For some others, regular orgasm (masturbatory or otherwise) does seem to help keep them in a more aroused/sexual state, whereas for others, it's pretty much a null value. tucks into Dommely files :) Thanks everybody! (Not that further data isn't welcome! :))

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

3.515625E-02