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RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/30/2008 8:49:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Being subly at work is not dumb when it's what the job requires.  My boss absolutely adores and needs fawning and faux submission- it makes him feel very manly, in charge, and helps his ego a lot.  The fact that I know it's a complete act on my part and that he's happy living behind such an easily fabricated illusion tends to add a small bit of pleasure to an otherwise annoying position.  But in order to get stuff DONE, I need to be aggressive.  So I am with affiliates, clients, processing people etc.  With him?  No.

Sometimes you really do get more done with honey.  It all depends on the job.  And none of that has anything to do with  one's personal relationship orientation.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/30/2008 9:10:05 PM   
Skully7000


Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline 		I'm picturing the scene from "the Secretary" when the woman says "oh another ____ " and tries to push right into the office and the secretary stands up to her. She found her strength in his orders.

Your friend can do the same. even if they are not orders from a Master... she must realize that she is a servant to her job, her company. in order to the job justice, to properly serve and meet the requirements she must stand up to her co-workers.

also I'm thinking of a Head Sissy Maid running a Tea Service. or a majordommo organizing/running a house/family.

hope that helps in some way.

Cheers
Skully

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/30/2008 9:16:44 PM   
madshysoul


Posts: 105
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Valiant

As a near 50 year old male dominant there is a limit to what I can share with a 26 year old lady her to help her so I wondered if any submissives or slaves here might have thouights or advice on how she can reconcile being sub AND present the professional personna she sees as being key to success.?



Find her a copy of the book "The Corporate Dominatrix." I'm in a similar position, high-profile job, young woman, submissive. That was a rather helpful book for me.

Here's the link to it on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Corporate-Dominatrix-Roles-Play-Your/dp/141694074X


_____________________________

"Saying that after You I'll never need another Top doesn't make me think you're incredible. It makes you sound like a serial killer."

(in reply to Valiant)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 1:19:03 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Being subly at work is not dumb when it's what the job requires.  My boss absolutely adores and needs fawning and faux submission- it makes him feel very manly, in charge, and helps his ego a lot. 



Yeah, it will help you get where you want to go. But, what about your principles? Is a person to whore himself/herself out? I'm sure we've all come across bosses who need their cock sucking now and again, but does the gain outweigh the cost to self-esteem?

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 9:21:06 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Oh hell...just because she talks in the tone that she knows makes her boss happy, she's whoring herself out?

Really?

Must be nice to live in a world where you can just say whatever you want to whomever you want, whenever you like.

Most can't.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 9:44:07 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
Yeah, it will help you get where you want to go. But, what about your principles? Is a person to whore himself/herself out? I'm sure we've all come across bosses who need their cock sucking now and again, but does the gain outweigh the cost to self-esteem?

You do know I am an actual whore, yes?  What principles do you speak?  The job gets done well, customers are happy, boss is happy, and I know exactly how to manipulate the situation to get what I want and get good results.

How exactly is my self esteem harmed by knowing I can easily manipulate my boss into seeing some illusion of who I am?  I know it's just a front, I know it's because his actual sense of security is paper thin. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 9:56:29 AM   
Aynne


Posts: 740
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		I agree Christina. That is not only highly unlikely but impractical as well. I have been the VP of a general contracting firm for 15 years. Some days it is nothing but ass kissing, be it vendors, co-workers, clients, or yes, even the boss, my ex-husband. ugh. My job is producing a project, keeping the clients happy, and getting the check. If I have to stoke some..egos to do it, big frigging deal. It has no bearing on my morals or ethics either.


quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Oh hell...just because she talks in the tone that she knows makes her boss happy, she's whoring herself out?

Really?

Must be nice to live in a world where you can just say whatever you want to whomever you want, whenever you like.

Most can't.


_____________________________

*Yes I know I have no profile at this time...

I looked in your eyes
Without saying a word
I told you what I am
And I hoped that you heard

~Owned and Loved by Master Sifu~

*founder of I Love Lushy Inc.*

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 10:12:16 AM   
sylee


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

... she must realize that she is a servant to her job, her company. in order to the job justice, to properly serve and meet the requirements she must stand up to her co-workers.



This is a very good point. I spend a lot of time in one of the chat rooms on this site; as a moderator even. Believe it or not, occasionally I come across some folks who believe that, because the profess to be a Dominant, I am obligated to behave obsequiously, fawn all over them and let them do whatever they want. Sometimes I am rebuked for not behaving submissively when I am doing my job. I always counter that criticism with the fact that I am, in fact fulfilling my role as a submissive to the room (or the owners of the room).

***

I will now put on my psuedo "I know everything" hat and say that, to me, it sounds like she is searching to belong to something or someone. I suspect that she behaves this way in all aspects of her life, not just at work; that she is looking to fill an empty place in herself from outside, rather than from within. If I am right, her difficulties at work are symptoms of the problem, not the problem itself.

Peace



(in reply to Skully7000)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 11:25:36 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What principles do you speak? 



The principle of I'm not bending for no fucker under no circumstances.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 11:33:11 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Oh hell...just because she talks in the tone that she knows makes her boss happy, she's whoring herself out?

Really?

Must be nice to live in a world where you can just say whatever you want to whomever you want, whenever you like.

Most can't.


Saying whatever you like to whomever you want versus bending over backwards, are not the only options.

What about being courteous but upfront? What does the contract of employment state?

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 11:44:37 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I fail to see where she said she was bending over backwards.
A little charm can go a long way.
As can being a blunt s.o.b.
I know which one would last longer if I were the employer. (given, of course, the same talents, work ethic, etc.)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 2:11:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
The principle of I'm not bending for no fucker under no circumstances.

Well, why would I choose to have that princple?  Seems very ineffective and impractical for most situations.  Even someone who owns their business tends to need to bend for a lot of people and a lot of situations- I don't see why that's a bad thing or something to be against all the time?

Secondly it should be remembered that my pretending to act in a submission fashion to him should not be confused with ACTUALLY acting in a submissive fashion to him, nor with a submissive ceding authority to a dominant in a Ds personal relationshp.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 2:44:32 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		We spend so much of our lives at work, why choose to adopt a persona? Politeness and appropriate graciousness counts, but I'm not going to exert effort day in and day out to express something I am not. I did that too much in my youth and am relishing being me day in and day out, now that I am...not in my youth.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 5:32:53 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee
We spend so much of our lives at work, why choose to adopt a persona? Politeness and appropriate graciousness counts, but I'm not going to exert effort day in and day out to express something I am not. I did that too much in my youth and am relishing being me day in and day out, now that I am...not in my youth.

That makes sense to me- and that's actually something I say about public socialization and my personal relationships.  A lot of people adopt a persona in even the free-est of situations because they are just so used to it and can't trust the people they choose to be around.

For me it's because at this time, this particular job is enough of a reward to make whatever loss I have for that worthwhile.  While there are certain professions I'd be able to work in that would allow me to be pretty much myself and not adopt any persona, I haven't yet decided that those are really what would fulfill me in the long term or allow me to co-exist with the other things I find important.  Otherwise, pretty much all other jobs would force me to pretend on a level most of the time- I'm not a team player, I'm not a morning person, I don't want to talka bout my social life at work (mostly because people at work wouldn't like hearing about it).  So even if I had the best boss in the world, I'd still be faking it most of the time.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 5/31/2008 7:07:29 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

The workplace is a zone populated by actors - regardless of orientation. There are unwritten rules of behaviour and a code of ethics that we all must comply with in the event we wish to succeed; I doubt most of us would comply were it not for the carrot dangled in front of us.

It's a game; assuming she's in it to win it, she better hone her acting skills or she'll find herself on the wrong end of the pleasure of a bigger, hungrier wolf.

More than anything though, it's all in the mind; she must think she can do it.


LA, see Gent agrees with you but he just forgot...

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 6/1/2008 11:40:57 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What principles do you speak? 



The principle of I'm not bending for no fucker under no circumstances.


Oddly, I'd consider letting someone take credit for my work without a fight more of a violation to that then playing subby to enhance my career.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 6/1/2008 12:50:59 PM   
Valiant


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		Many thanks to all who have bothered to contribute. It is interesting to see the variety of responses.

Valiant

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Succeeding as a submissive among-st dominants? - 6/2/2008 9:15:07 AM   
Marysboi


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		I should apologize for responding without reading all the prior posts. I believe it was in Elsie Sutton's Female Superiority site she talks about using the female dominance in the workplace. There is a different dynamic a female can bring to the corporate world that is far different than the normal male environment. Its sexual in nature, shoes, dress etc. thats done with a hint of sexuality, (without being whorish). That can be quite powerful. Of course the females ability to pull it off has to have an air of self confidence to complete the style. To try and compete with the wolves by their own rules  is futile because the age old mindset of conservative male domination will easily dismiss the female. Only because shes female. But she can win by taking this disadvantage and turning into her strength.  

(in reply to Valiant)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Succeeding as a submissive among-st dominants? - 6/2/2008 9:21:23 AM   
Marysboi


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		Having gone back and read some other posting, Lucky Albatross has some wise thoughts, I should have read more before posting..

(in reply to Valiant)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Succeeding as a submissive amongst dominants? - 6/2/2008 12:18:29 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

What principles do you speak? 



The principle of I'm not bending for no fucker under no circumstances.


Oddly, I'd consider letting someone take credit for my work without a fight more of a violation to that then playing subby to enhance my career.


I think there's more use in taking a hit now and again on the understanding that choosing your battles wisely will serve you well, than there is in a change of persona for 40/50 hours a week.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 40
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