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slavegirljoy -> RE: domestic ??? (6/2/2008 9:47:35 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cantilena
IMO, not all BDSM is about sex either, or getting turned on, blah blah. But when the guy (dominantly) scolds the woman because [fill in reason for punishment here], and (dominantly) tells her to pull down her pants and bend over, and she (submissively) accepts the scolding, and (submissively) bends over for him to (dominantly) spank her.... well... I see that as Dominant and Submissive behavior. I don't really care if they screw afterwards, ya know?
... IMO, putting DD outside BDSM does nothing but muddy the water so the group at large can feel holier (or superior) than the rest of kink. I'm with LA on that.
That's your personal opinion, which everyone is entitled to. But, your personal opinion really has nothing to do with the way another pair of people see their own relationship. You may look at a husband turning his wife over his knee and spanking her as kinky but, that doesn't mean that they do. They may not get any sexual excitement from that act, at all.
And, even though some people, within the 'kink community', like to say that others are trying to make themselves "feel holier (or superior) than the rest of kink", by using a different, 'non-kinky', label for their personal relationship, unless you can get inside that relationship and get inside their heads, you really don't know that.
Some people might not consider all BD/SM to be "about sex" and, that's their personal opinion. But, for many people and for many years, Bondage & Discipline has been known as a form of sexual play. In fact, for many people, if you take the sexual element out of the act of tying someone up and beating them, it then becomes abuse. Maybe some people want it both ways, kinky but, not sexual.
Either way, what does that have to do with the fact that there are couples who use corporal punishment in their relationship, without it being sexual, and they refer to it as, "Domestic Discipline"? And, how does using the term, "Domestic Discipline", to describe their relationship, mean that they are trying to "feel holier (or superior)" than anyone else? That may be your perception but, that doesn't mean it's true for them.
To make a blanket statement about other couples using the term, "Domestic Discipline", as being nothing more than a 'nice way' of referring to their 'kink', without actually admitting to it, seems pretty presumptuous, to me.
If some people want to call the characters John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara portrayed in their films, 'kinksters', that's up to them. Others call them 'traditional'. Some people see 'kink' where others see none, at all. Is everyone really supposed to wear the same shade of glasses to look at the world and look at their own relationship? Can't each of us look at our own relationship the way that we choose, regardless of how others see it?
Do you really believe that there is only 1 way to look at the use of Discipline in personal relationships? And, that it needs to always be seen as 'kinky'? Not from my perspective. i have experienced different types of discipline, throughout my life, and all but one had no sexual component to them, at all. The only type of discipline that i have experienced that ever had a sexual component to it has been in BD/SM activities.
Then again, the difference in viewpoints may be due to the fact that i don't include the Dominant/submissive dynamic in the BD/SM (Bondage & Discipline / Sadomasochism) term. To me, they are two separate and distinct elements of a personal relationship that can be and, often are, combined in the relationship but, not always.
As for me and my Master, we have a DAISADCMAIWBYWIWT relationship, as in, "Do As I Say And Don't Challenge Me And I Will Beat You When I Want To" and, that works just fine for us, even if others see it differently.
joy
Owned servant of Master David
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