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RE: Am I wrong here? - 6/1/2008 8:11:13 PM

Saffleur

Posts: 250
Joined: 8/14/2006
From: Lenoir NC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingaSir

When a submissive offers her service to her Dom. It is ignored. There was no reply given. It was as if the statement was never made. So when she approached Him because she is upset, as she felt ignored or brushed off, or as if her service is not important to Him. He told her that he didn't feel like dealing with the back and forth of discussing. Should she not be upset?? She now feels that He doesn't care about her feelings, or about her. Is she wrong for feeling this way?

you received your answer. Plain and simple, it was "No." How did you approach him? If you did it in a fussy fit throwing manner I'd tell you close your lips until you could come to me about it like an adult. Getting upset just because you didn't get a vocal answer means nothing. Sure, you can feel upset but really was it THAT bad? I seriously doubt it.

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RE: Am I wrong here? - 6/1/2008 9:57:36 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
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quote:

He told her that he didn't feel like dealing with the back and forth of discussing.

... Red flag... Red flag lit on fire riding on a firetruck spitting out apples and gym balls in Soviet Russia.

Also, the flag pole is red.

"I don't want to be bothered by discussing" is mindbogglingly worrisome.

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Post #: 22

RE: Am I wrong here? - 6/2/2008 2:24:40 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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Interesting that our damosel in distress hasn't been back to comment on all the advice given. Kinda makes you wonder at that.

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Post #: 23

RE: Am I wrong here? - 6/2/2008 2:11:03 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

quote:

He told her that he didn't feel like dealing with the back and forth of discussing.

... Red flag... Red flag lit on fire riding on a firetruck spitting out apples and gym balls in Soviet Russia.

Also, the flag pole is red.

"I don't want to be bothered by discussing" is mindbogglingly worrisome.

Agreed!!!

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Post #: 24

RE: Am I wrong here? - 6/2/2008 2:12:09 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Interesting that our damosel in distress hasn't been back to comment on all the advice given. Kinda makes you wonder at that.

Also agreed. (Although she may be embarrassed.)

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Post #: 25

RE: Am I wrong here? - 6/2/2008 2:38:56 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

OP, if you're still around... have you given any thought to what he meant by the "back and forth" of discussing? Do you make everything into a debate or a negotiation? Do you ask question after question after question? Is it more mentally and physically exhausting to respond to an offer of "service" from you than it is to ignore you?

I know some people that when they offer to do you a favor, it is easier just to say no, even if you would like the favor, because the process of getting from offer to completion is enough to test the patience of Job. Could you possibly be that type of person?

Cali

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Post #: 26

RE: Am I wrong here? - 6/2/2008 8:41:51 PM

Leonidas

Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingaSir

When a submissive offers her service to her Dom. It is ignored. There was no reply given. It was as if the statement was never made. So when she approached Him because she is upset, as she felt ignored or brushed off, or as if her service is not important to Him. He told her that he didn't feel like dealing with the back and forth of discussing. Should she not be upset?? She now feels that He doesn't care about her feelings, or about her. Is she wrong for feeling this way?

What's wrong is that you don't know whether it's wrong, and you're asking a bunch of people who don't know you, your situation, or you Dom. That's wrong because it means, obviously, that you don't understand the basis of your relationship with him. So, it was either never discussed, or he didn't make it clear to you when it was. Tell him how you are feeling. Ask him if he believes you are justified in feeling that way. If he says you are not, perhaps he'll tell you why not, and then you can either accept that, or not. If one or both of you cannot clearly communicate your intentions and why you are there, you don't have the proverbial snowball's chance in hell.

Hope that helps.

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Post #: 27