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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 12:12:49 PM   
LadyPhoenixRisen


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Status: offline 		The ability to listen and to forgive.  Once you get those both down, you are more than halfway there.

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 1:36:55 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
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Status: offline 		good communication skills.  a sense of humor.  unconditional love for the person you're with; that means accepting them for who they are, not trying to change them and loving them warts and all.  has to go both ways, it can't be one sided.  i learned alot in my first marriage, made it 4 yrs of "dating" and 19 yrs of marriage.  i hopefully will not repeat the same mistakes and will learn from the ones i do make alot faster.  i know he's not perfect, and neither am i.  you're not looking to find someone who is "perfect", who the hell can live with that?  you're looking for someone you can stand to live with who is also someone you can't stand to live without.
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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 1:44:31 PM   
Vendaval


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Status: offline 		I hear you on the unconditional love and knowing that neither person is perfect.  It is our flaws that keep life interesting...

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 2:17:41 PM   
servantheart


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From: Houston, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hippiekinkster

Likely won't get married again. Likely will have one more LTR. Having said that,

No fucking way will I ever have separate bedrooms again. I want to be there next to her when I tell her, "Good night, baby, I love you," and in the morning, "Good morning, honey, I love you." I want to watch her sleep and hear her little snores and feel her next to me. See that little bit of drool we all get sometimes. Smell her hair. Touch her. Wake her up with a slow, gentle fuck.

Non-negotiable.


That's such an awesome attitude.  Best of luck in Your search, HK   
 

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 2:20:10 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hippiekinkster
No fucking way will I ever have separate bedrooms again. I want to be there next to her when I tell her, "Good night, baby, I love you," and in the morning, "Good morning, honey, I love you." I want to watch her sleep and hear her little snores and feel her next to me. See that little bit of drool we all get sometimes. Smell her hair. Touch her. Wake her up with a slow, gentle fuck.

Non-negotiable.

This time, you and I agree.

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 2:24:16 PM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hippiekinkster
No fucking way will I ever have separate bedrooms again. I want to be there next to her when I tell her, "Good night, baby, I love you," and in the morning, "Good morning, honey, I love you." I want to watch her sleep and hear her little snores and feel her next to me. See that little bit of drool we all get sometimes. Smell her hair. Touch her. Wake her up with a slow, gentle fuck.

Non-negotiable.

This time, you and I agree.


My grandmother admitted that seperate bedrooms was bad for her marriage but he snored so loud. but intimacy is lost. Intimacy is the glue that holds a marriage together. I know. I didnt have much in mine and it suffered and ended.I heard someone say. When the sexual relationship is good it is only 10% of the relationship. when the sexual relationship  is missing its 90% of the relationship.

Sir snores. I have earplugs (and great intimacy)

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 2:25:58 PM   
subtee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hippiekinkster
No fucking way will I ever have separate bedrooms again. I want to be there next to her when I tell her, "Good night, baby, I love you," and in the morning, "Good morning, honey, I love you." I want to watch her sleep and hear her little snores and feel her next to me. See that little bit of drool we all get sometimes. Smell her hair. Touch her. Wake her up with a slow, gentle fuck.

Non-negotiable.

This time, you and I agree.


~Faints~

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 2:30:00 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Intimacy is the glue that holds a marriage together.


It bears repeating...

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 2:51:51 PM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		Intimacy does not require sharing the same bed when sleeping.  A little hug or kiss for no reason as you walk through the room is intimacy.  Holding hands when you walk down the street is a form of intimacy.  A shoulder rub when your lover is sor is intimacy.  If you can't sleep in the same bed, you make up for it.  I prefer my wife rested and less crazy so that I can be intimate with her.  As for sex, we both know the way to the bedroom.  Its a short walk.... OK.  Sometimes we run.

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 2:57:13 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		The one thing I do not have to worry about this time around, but was missing last...
RESPECT
Without a healthy respect for your partner, it just doesnt work.
Communication is very important, a sense of humor, having hobbies that do NOT include one another.
Having separate groups of friends, and joint groups of friends.
Having a big enough bed that you can snuggle when you want to, and stay clear of one another when you dont.
Separate hampers.


DV


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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 4:07:35 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Irishknight
Its a short walk.... OK. Sometimes we run.

You actually make it to the bedroom?

Wow....now that's restraint (and not the good kind either! )

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 5:14:39 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Irishknight

Intimacy does not require sharing the same bed when sleeping. 


IrishKnight,
If I can get words around this to say what I mean, i suspect you will have no trouble agreeing with me. It matters that you and your wife not only have a good reason, but really, really tried.
I eventually had to quit sleeping with my dear first husband too, although we still shared a bedroom. Of course, by then the mitosis had eaten his brain and there was no real intimacy left, and the sex life was shot by chronic preapisms, but, the love was still there.
There are many, many things that make up a good, strong foundation of intimacy. Some of them are really basic, structural - really, really important. If one of those is missing because you can't be bothered, or for some other pansy ass reason, you are not going to be able to make up the hole that leaves. OTOH, if you are missing one, or even some or several, of those very important building blocks, for unavoidable reasons you can't control, you absolutely can make that up by continuing to put real work into your marriage.
It's like - imagine two couples who do not actually live in the same house, even though they are married. One couple buys two houses, across the street from each other, because, though they love one another, neither can stand the other's kids (saw these people on Oprah, visiting my Grandma. really.) The other, one or both of them are in the Service, and they have been given stations which keep them apart. Imagine that both know they will live apart for the next 3 years - in the latter case, till the station assignment ends, in the first, till the last teen goes to college. One couple lives only feet from each other, the other is separated by thousands of miles. If you had to make a guess, who do you suspect has the stronger marriage?

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 7:35:15 PM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: Irishknight
Its a short walk.... OK. Sometimes we run.

You actually make it to the bedroom?

Wow....now that's restraint (and not the good kind either! )

We have an 11 year old son.  We have to get clear of the public areas. 

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/3/2008 11:32:12 PM   
meatcleaver


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

seperate houses??


Yes but they must be in different countries.

It works, it worked for me.

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/4/2008 6:11:39 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


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Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		verbal, face to face communication followed by compatibility, love, friendship, trust, etc etc

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Profile   Post #: 55
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