Self-Diminishing submissive names

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Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 9:52:22 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
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Just wondering, another thread I posted in today made me decide to look up the amount of people who chose a username which started with the term “worthless”. Perhaps it’s just me, but I find it sad that even on a site with tens of thousands, or more users (I really have no clue as to the numbers of profiles here) that there are even as many as 51 who choose such a username (not to mention those that have the term later in the name, or those that contain terms which are similar in meaning).

Out of 51 people, approximately 72 percent were male and 28 percent were female; all were submissive.

Now, I have to wonder whether this type of username is chosen more often from an honest view of yourself as worthless or a belief that such a perspective will attract the attention of a desirable dominant.

So, I have questions for both sides here:

To the dominants out there, does seeing a term like “worthless” in a submissive’s username attract you? If so, why? If it does not attract you, why not and do you think you could foreseeably look beyond such a moniker.

For the submissives, what do you think when you see someone using such in their username?

Or, if you have chosen a such a diminishing username; what made you decide upon it? Also, what type of reaction do you receive that you are sure is due to your using such a name?

As this has long been one of my personal pet peeves, i'm honestly curious about the motivation behind and effectiveness of using this type of name.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 6/5/2008 10:11:48 AM >

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Post #: 1

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 9:58:24 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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I'm guessing that it is part of their kink, sort of an objectification OR they are naive about the type of people they will attract with a name like that.

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Post #: 2

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:00:08 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Personally, I agree with you that it tends to be more a male sub thing. And I think it comes from femdom porn, which is written to appeal to men, not women. There's a fair bit of that worthless worm stuff in porn. Men with no experience may easily confuse porn with reality and believe that they need to present themselves in that manner.

That kind of humiliation/degradation may appeal in fantasy and in scenes but certainly it doesn't work in real life while discussing how best to resod the front lawn.

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Post #: 3

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:01:22 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Not to be sexist here, but it seems to happen much more often with male submissives than females.
Perhaps it's because while for many male submissives, that is just one facet of themselves, but, many more females see their submissive side as something that is always with them, (whether they are showing it or not)
(kind of like the ceo of a corporation who's tired of making decisions, and likes a little humiliation once in a while?
Idk...
(and yes, I'm aware there are some on both sides, and that the above answers aren't the only answers to this question. These were just some off-the-cuff thoughts I had.)

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Post #: 4

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:01:42 AM

Strongmindbody

Posts: 264
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline

Everybody has something they need to feel in the depth of passion. Doesn't mean they necessarily feel worthless when they go to work the next morning. Hard to judge a person just by the name...

I'm changing my user name to "WantsCookies" cause that need has pretty much consumed my life for the past couple of minutes.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 5

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:03:08 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Do you know the sex ratio of Collarme profiles generally? I wouldn't be too surprised if it were about 3:1 male:female. I see plenty of female profiles with those kinds of screen names.

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Perhaps it’s just me, but I find it sad that even on a site with tens of thousands, or more users (I really have no clue as to the numbers of profiles here) that there are even as many as 51 who choose such a username (not to mention those that have the term later in the name, or those that contain terms which are similar in meaning) Out of 51 people, approximately 72 percent were male and 28 percent were female; all were submissive.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 6

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:03:27 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Oh this is one of my pet peeves too. I just don't understand why anyone would want to advertise themselves as being worthless, broken, lost, needy, psychotic, helpless, worms....or any other negative thing.

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Post #: 7

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:10:28 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

For the submissives, what do you think when you see someone using such in their username?

I think they are looking for a Dom(me) to punish them for their worthlessness. Whatever lights their fire. The world is a wonderous place.
Ed. to add: which is why as an s-type I call myself Prinsexx. Because I'm worth it as they say in the ads.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 6/5/2008 10:14:01 AM >

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Post #: 8

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:12:20 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

I should start a fake profile as a Dom, and be something like 'worthlessTop'. 'complete waste of perfectly good flogger suede'. what do you think?

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Post #: 9

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:14:13 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

Brilliant thread!!

Personally I respect people's choices when they think up their own user names, as it's they themselves who have to deal with the consequences. However I can't help thinking that (a) they're labouring under some kind of misconception over what all this is really about or (b) they have some sort of issue which is somehow linked to their motivation behind being a submissive. But then again who am I to say? It could be a way of attracting someone, signalling something, genuinely self-depreciating, or even some sort of joke. Then again I wonder how other people respond to their user names, and am somewhat curious - especially among the male submissives - whether it is indeed tied to their 'primary kink'.

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Post #: 10

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:15:16 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

Personally, I find such monikers annoying. To me, they indicate a 'one-trick pony', where all they want is to be humiliated and degraded; or worse yet, they truly belive they are worthless.

I do not want a worthless person in my life. I do not have the energy necessary to either a) constantly degrade them and find them fun to be around, or b) constantly attempting to boost their ego so they feel adequate enough to kiss the ground I walk upon. Blech! I imagine some people who are insecure themselves may find this an attractive quality because it allows them to boost their own egos by degrading others. I imagine others still enjoy this type of 'play' in certain contexts but not an all the time thing. I'm quite sure there is someone out there for everyone - finding them can be the tricky part.

I enjoy individuals who are content in who they are and are confident in themselves. A confident submissive, one who submits because they are comfortable doing such, is far more attractive to me than a person who submits because they feel unworthy of being loved (or liked, or respected, etc.).

A name such as 'worthlesspig' would initially cause me an instant lack of interest in them. However, if they wrote to me in a manner that was not self-degrading, not full of 'will you treat me like the worthless pig I am' requests, and if it was revealed that they somehow thought this was the only way to attract a dominant but don't actually have low-self esteem, I'd continue to talk with them. Sadly, I haven't had that occur yet from people with similar names.

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Post #: 11

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:17:42 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I should start a fake profile as a Dom, and be something like 'worthlessTop'. 'complete waste of perfectly good flogger suede'. what do you think?

dumbdom

ubergeekyone

losttop

lesserlord

hopontop

Ok, ok...I could do this all day...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 12

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:27:12 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

To me if you degrade yourself with your name then your a cling on.

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 13

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:27:18 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

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Post #: 14

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:30:36 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

To the dominants out there, does seeing a term like “worthless” in a submissive’s username attract you? If so, why? If it does not attract you, why not and do you think you could foreseeably look beyond such a moniker.

While I dont tend to put much stock in someones chosen screenname, the attitude usually matches the name. And honesty, with as much work as a submissive rquires to kepe things working, if you are going to tell me how worthless you are and that you arent worth my time... I will probably agree.

DV

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(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 15

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:30:54 AM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

... I just don't understand why anyone would want to advertise themselves as being worthless, broken, lost, needy, psychotic, helpless, worms....or any other negative thing.

I kinda feel a need to defend it... my original screenname was "losttreasure". When I created that name I knew that some might consider it to be a cry for a "knight in shining armor" to rescue me, but it certainly wasn't meant to be pathetic or to advertise that I was somehow worthless. I'm not now, nor have I ever been "lost" in that respect. It was more like I was lost to the one who'd eventually find me. Which he did.

Besides, I think the "treasure" part more than makes up for any negative connotations of "lost"... calling myself a treasure hardly evidences any insecurity in myself.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 16

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:32:21 AM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

I should start a fake profile as a Dom, and be something like 'worthlessTop'. 'complete waste of perfectly good flogger suede'. what do you think?

dumbdom

ubergeekyone

losttop

lesserlord

hopontop

Ok, ok...I could do this all day...

CrappyDom...

Oh, wait! That's been done.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 17

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:33:13 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I think lost treasure is hot!
(and treasureky is too!)

it's also a far cry from worthlesswormpie...

(just sayin'...)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 18

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:35:45 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

There are 17 names using the name 'useless'. All of them submissives. Now is a 'useless' sub better than a 'worthless'? in sub-land?

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Post #: 19

RE: Self-Diminishing submissive names - 6/5/2008 10:35:49 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Objectification fetish.

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Post #: 20

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