RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and not enough spirituality?

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/5/2008 10:48:28 PM

abcbsex

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I don't really know how to explain it, because I'm an atheist and don't consider myself spiritual, but I am firmly grounded and I revel in the flesh and obviously bdsm has a lot to do with that. I believe strongly in a mind-body connection, and that is not a spiritual but a physical state of being that should be encouraged because it is healthy. obviously I don't know how deep this can go because I am only now discovering its importance but at the moment it borders on what some might consider a "religious belief" without being religious or spiritual.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/5/2008 10:50:23 PM

Leatherist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: abcbsex

I don't really know how to explain it, because I'm an atheist and don't consider myself spiritual, but I am firmly grounded and I revel in the flesh and obviously bdsm has a lot to do with that. I believe strongly in a mind-body connection, and that is not a spiritual but a physical state of being that should be encouraged because it is healthy. obviously I don't know how deep this can go because I am only now discovering its importance but at the moment it borders on what some might consider a "religious belief" without being religious or spiritual.

I've always known and accepted natural life energy.

But humans have an annoying habit of having to "explain where it comes from". And create religion. It's kind of pathetic.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/5/2008 10:52:27 PM

Owner4SexSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixinchains

Fast Reply-

Not many people are content with one demensional lives. my spirituality and sexuality effect my art, my art effects my mood, my mood effects...
Much in life gives and takes from other parts of life.
If it doesn't cleary state in your profile what you are seeking, try rewording it. You will still get messages from folks that didn't read a word of it,
that's just what happens.

So very true! Multimension people tend to captivate my attention and interest. There's a unique fusion of things that make up a person. There are some people that are rather one dimension in nature. They are more linear in thinking and living. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. Not everybody is tuned into being artistic and creative. Emotional connections and spirtuality. Some people are rather dynamic, some are rather flat line. Again, no set one wayism of personality.

Some people come with sub-titles.. others just titles.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 12:54:58 AM

slvemike4u

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Warning: Over exposure to BDSM porn may damage brain cells ..........................where was this warning when it could have done me some good

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 2:32:00 AM

JohnWarren

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The key words in your question are "is to me." As with any personal feeling there really can't be much of a consensus. Obviously to you (and probably others) the answer is "yes." I'm sure for another group of people, it's "no."

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 2:53:10 AM

RCdc

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Its all purely subjective(geeze it gets boring posting that).
Some people use BDSM as a spiritual realm, some people use it as cathartic exercise, some do it for sex - for me - I do not find it as overwhelming to have people use it in a different way to me because these other people aren't thrusting it in my face and I have a relationship with a man with whom I am compatable.

the.dark.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 3:03:32 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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I think there is a natural tendancy for people to be drawn into the lifestyle for a specific reason.   Kinky sex for instance being one of the major attractions.

I believe, in my opinion anybody who becomes active in actually doing all these things, comes to the realization of things deeper besides just the kinky sex.

BDSM is bit of a path or journey. Everybody has their own unique experiences, understandings, people grow and change as the result of it all.   Different paths, different directions.

If a girl seems more interested in sex, who is to say one way or another that she can not spiritually or otherwise grow from future experiences.   It's something to perhaps consider, and keep an open mind and door about.

These are my thoughts on the subject.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 3:45:24 AM

DesFIP

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Bondage for me is sexual, not spiritual. And why shouldn't I be allowed to approach it like that?

I go to synagogue to express my religious/spiritual needs.

I don't need my relationship to fulfill that part of me. My relationship fulfills other things. But play for me is sexual as it is for him.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 4:29:20 AM

Stusmobile

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No more or no less than any relationship.

Concentrating entirely on one aspect of a relationship is bound to leave other areas as after thoughts and can cause other problems. It doesn't matter if it's BDSM, vanilla, triads, swingers or any of the other wonderful variations out there, if sex all that is wanted, there will be other like minded people after the same thing (and why shouldn't they if they're old enough/consent/have fun).

For me the D/s aspect is sexual, but not just about sex or the play that arises from it. The whole concept of what D/s means to me runs through the relationship, every day there are elements of it that are wanted, needed, desired ... and those elements do not always equate with sex. The bringing of a coffee, a cold drink, the look in her eyes as she presents something for me, either tangible or a thought .... that is sexually charged but does not lead directly to the bedroom/playroom/wherever. That sexuality can be expressed with a very simple touch, a word of thanks or even just a smile, she knows what pleasure it brings and that enhances her pleasure.

For others, sex is the be all and end all of BDSM, that is their goal and that is what suits them. If it works for them and their partners, then more power to them, as long as all involved know that is the goal and are accepting, then I see no reason why they shouldn't be as valid as any other type of relationship.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 4:30:06 AM

pinksugarsub

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i'm not sure we're using the word 'spirituality' to mean the same thing. To me it refers to an aspect of a P/person's inner life, usually geared towards a belief in an after-life. In this sense, i think i could have a very satisfying D/s relationship with Men from both ends of the spectrum...Those who are very devote and participate in an organised religion, and Those who are agnostic and rarely give Their spirituality a second thought.

It's not something i feel i'd need to have a shared value with my Dom, in order for the relationship to flourish.

pinksugarsub

< Message edited by pinksugarsub -- 6/6/2008 4:31:11 AM >

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 4:34:04 AM

StormsSlave

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B-Bondage
D-Discipline
S-Sadism
M-Masochism

scratching head...??? What? Nothing in there about depth of relationship.

Everyone has their own thing. For some it's about the sex. For others, it's about...

It's also possible these girls are coming to realize that most of the men really just want sex, and are hoping that if they put it out there, they'll get a relationship out of it. Guys give love to get sex, girls give sex to get love. I know it's a gross generalization, but I also know it's one that tends to be true a lot. I don't think it's any different then going to a singles bar. You don't see many women holding a drink and dancing in a berka. They're there to get laid, as are most of the men. It's a singles site, and more. shrug. What do you expect?

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 4:43:07 AM

Dnomyar

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If it was'nt for religion we would not have had this lifestyle. The inquisitions were an introduction to it. Even here in the states bondage and fireplay was brought to us by the church.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 4:43:37 AM

LadyPhoenixRisen

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I personally enjoy the whole package. I think with some people you get both, others..you get either or. With my pup, it's not sexual at all. If I am with a Dom, it has both in it. I don't sit and try to analyze everything to death though, I just enjoy the relationship or experience for what it gives me. I can be the most spiritual of people, yet other times I just want to have sex and nothing more.

All of it for me comes down to each dynamic and what I am looking for from it. Neither way it wrong, it's just the taste of the people or the natural flow of what is going on.

Lady

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 5:25:19 AM

looking2bspoiled

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Like many others, I am not entirely sure how you are using the word "spiritual." Perhaps it means something transcending the physical. Maybe you are referring to the mental/psychological aspects of D/s. In my response, that is how I will interpret the word spiritual.

I have not had this experience myself, but a close friend of mine was searching for a Daddy. She's also a Lesbian, so for her this connection would not be sexual. She has yet to find a male who is willing (or able) to remove the sexuality from a Daddy/little arrangement. Needless to say, she's very up front about not being attracted to men and not wanting sex/sexuality. She's still searching.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 5:35:30 AM

stella41b

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I don't get the guilt trip or implication that something is bad because it's sexual. You can be both spiritual and sexual, the two for me can coexist together. You can also be spritiaul without being sexual, and vice versa. I mean everyone has genitals attached to their bodies, and while they're attached and functioning you might as well go ahead and use them, either with yourself or with other people. Why you're using them or who you're using them with is entirely down to you. They are after all your genitals.

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 5:40:12 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyPhoenix68

I've been wondering something of late: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much of an emphasis on sexuality and not enough of spirituality?

For me sexuality and spirituality are not in opposition. Once I realised that it opened the doorway rather than closed it. My body is my temple and also the temple of anyone who uses it.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 6/6/2008 5:41:04 AM >

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 6:45:25 AM

MstrVik

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I can't really see how it could be 'overwhelmed', and what difference a spiritual outlook makes is surely dependent on the persons involved. That said, and speaking for myself, I don't see bdsm in a purely sexual context - it involves the whole person, and on several levels, though the degrees of this will vary from person to person. Obviously, it would be completely different for someone who sees it as 'role-playing' than for someone who embraces it as a lifestyle - and there's a spectrum of approaches inbetween. Spirituality doesn't mean the same thing for everyone and for some it's not even seen as 'real' - it' a choice or perhaps even a 'disposition', who knows... Usually, more aspects and dimensions of someone's personality will appear naturally in the course of getting to know them, and perhaps this also depends on one's own approach. --- Nobody's entirely one-dimensional - (allthough there might be a few that at least appear to try their darndest...

) - people are people, and some are not even always able to articulate what they want; I know in some instances (and I'm NOT referring only to the sexual aspect here), all it takes is a simple suggestion and they'll be all agog... And if one thing doesn't work, there's the next option... - I'd say it's up to yourself...

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 9:17:30 AM

MadRabbit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

B-Bondage
D-Discipline
S-Sadism
M-Masochism

What is obviously needed is a change in the acronym to make room for all this deepness and divinity that is apparently lacking in practices that are by definition sexual in nature.

B-Bondage
E-Enlightenment
D-Discipline
P-Poetry
S-Sadism
A-Art
L-Love
M-Masochism
S-Spirituality

As a result, we have a new abridged form of the acronym known as Bed Psalms, in reference to a lost book of the bible where one gives tribute to God through bedroom practices...

Here is a quote from the Good Book to highlight how spirituality in BDSM is usually utilized...

"Thou shall attach the clothespin to the left nipple and place the paddle on the right buttocks, all the while giving praising to the Lord, Our Good, and his Disciplines, the Old Guard, and thou shall be elevated to a new state of being, far above those vanilla non-believers who shall not ever know the True Light of Our Lord with their shallow and non-pious missionary sex and blowjobs."
-Bed Psalms 3:69

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RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 9:29:27 AM

DiurnalVampire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyPhoenix68

I've been wondering something of late: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much of an emphasis on sexuality and not enough of spirituality?

Id say no, since I have no expectation of spirituality in my BDSM relationships. I also have no actual expectation of sexuality. It is interaction how it fits us, without emphasis on anything but my happiness and their fulfillment.

DV

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Post #: 39

RE: Can BDSM be overwhelmed by too much sexuality and n... - 6/6/2008 9:43:43 AM

chickpea

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BDSM to me expands on a normal relationship, if it is taken to 24/7. I think it requires a lot more to having a successful master slave relationship than just a relationship. So if BDSM is just for play, I can't imagine a scenario where it would be *overwhelmed* by too much sexuality...other than if you sessions look more like porn, and they are supposed to be play, then maybe it is "overwhelmed"..and ends up NOT being BDSM. Just sex.

So if a guy is just using BDSM as an excuse for sex, sure it's sure to overwhelmed by too much sexuality for the woman going into this with BDSM in mind. Fake doms trying to be more dom than they were born to be. There's a lot of that "wow, this is a great way to get laid" sort of Dom.

Or if your 24/7, you need the development of discipline, trust, bonding, friendship, devotion, etc... but instead those aspects of the relationship are neglected and there's way more sex than there should be, and not enough trust or other things in the relationship, in this way there's too much sex.

"Spirituality" if it has to do with performing religious practices within BDSM, I think anything in BDSM is too much. If BDSM is suppposed to be included in a relationship with a higher purpose, then maybe there needs to be a higher use for BDSM other than a vehicle to get laid. So, in that sense if both partners have different expectations, one wants a higher purpose, the other wants sex, then BDSM lacks that sort of "spirituality". Spirituality can include having faith, loving one another for who they are, doing other things with your life and letting BDSM just be a part...

as far as OP, it seems "BDSM" (the activity of sexual and relationship deviants and extremists) may have been used mistakenly in the place of a meaningful relationship with someone that includes intense off sexual play?

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Post #: 40

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