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male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 4:21:35 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


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i was talking to my adult son today.  he has a friend whos g/f was missing for a day or so, and then the friend came over and told my son that she had been killed in a car wreck.  my sons been worried about his friend, because he hasnt called and hasnt been answering his phone.

so im asking have you heard from him? no mom.  was she in a wreck that landed her car off the road and she wasnt found for a while? i dont know mom.   have they had the funeral yet?  i didnt ask mom.  more questions, and more i dunno moms from him (be sure to imagine the rolling eyes and tone of voice too).

finally i groaned and said MEN!  and just hushed.  he then says WOMEN! and laughs.

i said i cant believe you didnt ask him more questions.  his reply to me was-he told me she is dead-thats all i needed to know in order to be his friend through it.

gawd i hate when my kid teaches me a lesson.

dang brat.



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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 4:27:08 PM   
subfever


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I get the same thing from my son. It seems I need to pull each word out of him. My daughters are quite the opposite.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 4:34:59 PM   
Level


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Sometimes the words don't need to be pulled, though.
 
Sometimes.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 5:15:52 PM   
Smith117


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne
i said i cant believe you didnt ask him more questions.  his reply to me was-he told me she is dead-thats all i needed to know in order to be his friend through it.

gawd i hate when my kid teaches me a lesson.

dang brat.


Here as I was reading the first part of your post, I though "oh here I go....about ready to drop some knowledge on.......d'oh....the son beat me to it."

Actually, he said it better than I probably could have. You've raised a wise one, definitely.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 5:22:30 PM   
christine1


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i've found with my son that the more questions i ask the worse it is for communication between us.  i ask a few questions, get the general idea of a situation and leave it at that.   most of the time, he'll come to me later and tell me more...if i push he doesn't respond, i'm learning not to push so much anymore.  it has taken me years to figure this out.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 5:29:50 PM   
Smith117


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quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i've found with my son that the more questions i ask the worse it is for communication between us.  i ask a few questions, get the general idea of a situation and leave it at that.   most of the time, he'll come to me later and tell me more...if i push he doesn't respond, i'm learning not to push so much anymore.  it has taken me years to figure this out.


This is a common lesson.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 5:46:12 PM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Smith117

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i've found with my son that the more questions i ask the worse it is for communication between us.  i ask a few questions, get the general idea of a situation and leave it at that.   most of the time, he'll come to me later and tell me more...if i push he doesn't respond, i'm learning not to push so much anymore.  it has taken me years to figure this out.


This is a common lesson.



Agreed.
 
Men need to be able to talk, in their time frame.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 5:51:03 PM   
Smith117


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Agreed.
 
Men need to be able to talk, in their time frame.


We have our own timeframe for pretty much everything. When we say "yep, I'll get to it." We certainly don't mean 'right now' and any attempt to nail down a time, only puts us further off wanting to do whatever it is that needs doin'.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 5:57:35 PM   
Stusmobile


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Agreed.
 
Men need to be able to talk, in their time frame.


Ain't that the truth, most of us need time to straighten things out in our own minds before engaging our mouths ;)




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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 5:58:54 PM   
Smith117


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stusmobile
Ain't that the truth, most of us need time to straighten things out in our own minds before engaging our mouths ;)


Only because we have to alter our point into a way it can be understood.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 6:13:49 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Then why is it that my post chemo dad NEVER shuts up?  He went from silent guy to ENDLESS BULLSHITTER!! 

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 6:36:04 PM   
windchymes


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This is so true.  Women I work with who have daughters all talk to them on the phone at least once a day, usually more often, in between visits, if they live nearby.  Those of us with sons, not so much, lol.   No, they call when they have something important to tell you, like they wrecked their car, they're practically on their deathbed with the flu and don't know which doctor their insurance will let them go to (like I know, I'm in another state), their girlfriend is pregnant...chatty stuff like that.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 6:37:15 PM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

This is so true.  Women I work with who have daughters all talk to them on the phone at least once a day, usually more often, in between visits, if they live nearby.  Those of us with sons, not so much, lol.   No, they call when they have something important to tell you, like they wrecked their car, they're practically on their deathbed with the flu and don't know which doctor their insurance will let them go to (like I know, I'm in another state), their girlfriend is pregnant...chatty stuff like that.


I do not talk to my mother everyday. I would go insane.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 6:40:08 PM   
windchymes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

This is so true.  Women I work with who have daughters all talk to them on the phone at least once a day, usually more often, in between visits, if they live nearby.  Those of us with sons, not so much, lol.   No, they call when they have something important to tell you, like they wrecked their car, they're practically on their deathbed with the flu and don't know which doctor their insurance will let them go to (like I know, I'm in another state), their girlfriend is pregnant...chatty stuff like that.



I do not talk to my mother everyday. I would go insane.


LOL....I was the same way with mine!  Must be the new generation.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 6:41:49 PM   
Smith117


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Then why is it that my post chemo dad NEVER shuts up?  He went from silent guy to ENDLESS BULLSHITTER!! 


Some have the rambling gene.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 6:59:12 PM   
Vendaval


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heh...I have a friend whose parents were the classic example of the differences between female and male communication.  His mother loved to talk and discuss well....everything. 
His father would sit in the living, his throne the recliner, simultaneously watching sports on TV, listening to sports games on the radio and reading the sports scores in the newspaper!


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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 7:25:39 PM   
Griswold


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Men need to be able to talk, in their time frame.


Yep.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 7:34:14 PM   
cyberdude611


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It is well known that men are not as good as women in communication. And it is physiologically proven. Women have more neural activity in the areas of the brain that control communication and literacy. Women also do better than men at writing and learning a foreign language.

Why this is the case is reletively unknown. There however must be some sort of evolutionary reason female primates long ago gained a reproductive and survival advantage with those advanced communication skills. The going theory is that females were the primary caregivers. Those that were the most social and open to caring and support were able to take better care of their offspring theirfore their genetic material had a higher chance of survival. Males played a limited role in the development of their offspring, therefore the skill was never singled out.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 7:42:35 PM   
Smith117


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

It is well known that men are not as good as women in communication. And it is physiologically proven. Women have more neural activity in the areas of the brain that control communication and literacy. Women also do better than men at writing and learning a foreign language.

Why this is the case is reletively unknown. There however must be some sort of evolutionary reason female primates long ago gained a reproductive and survival advantage with those advanced communication skills. The going theory is that females were the primary caregivers. Those that were the most social and open to caring and support were able to take better care of their offspring theirfore their genetic material had a higher chance of survival. Males played a limited role in the development of their offspring, therefore the skill was never singled out.


I would strongly disagree with the use of the phrase "not as good."

My definition of good is being able to say a single sentence and have the person you are speaking to take the correct meaning from it instead of reading into it any one of a thousand different meanings.

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RE: male vs female minds - 6/8/2008 7:55:18 PM   
Griswold


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611

It is well known that men are not as good as women in communicatio  (Now that's just not true....just because they don't understand me doesn't mean I ain't making perfectly good sense!) . And it is physiologically proven. Women have more neural activity in the areas of the brain that control communication and literacy. Women also do better than men at writing and learning a foreign language (okay, I won't debate this....since you're talking Greek here anyways).

Why this is the case is reletively (relatively) unknown. There however must be some sort of evolutionary reason female primates long ago gained a reproductive and survival advantage with those advanced communication skills (won't even). The going theory is that females were the primary caregivers (okay, that's really not a theory). Those that were the most social and open to caring and support were able to take better care of their offspring theirfore (therefore) their genetic material had a higher chance of survival. Males played a limited role in the development of their offspring, therefore the skill was never singled out. (Something tells me that the males had a fairly significant role here).

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