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RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 4:44:01 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I was going to say "a cock photo", but I've found it works a lot better when I just randomly send out pictures of my cock to dominant women. Actually, it works to send it to all women. They all love it. I know this because they're often so impressed that they're scared to respond. Yep, that's me, giving the ladies what they want....

and where did you learn this? it has always been my understanding that a Dominant would prefer to actually have a face to go with the profile and i've seen a few Dommes' profiles state that they do "NOT' want those type of pics sent to them and such actions would be a banning offense. just curious.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 21

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 4:49:06 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

I believe he was joking, Michael.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 22

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 5:34:21 PM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

OK, new profile up. I will most likely re-write it, as I think it's a little flat, but in terms of what it says, thoughts and suggestions would be appreciated.

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 23

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 5:52:49 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

What information are you looking for when you browse profiles looking for a potential sub?

"I take pleasure in serving Women however their whims require."

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 24

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 6:01:33 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Lots of words, and mostly useful ones. Honesty is a good quality.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 25

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 6:19:27 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

I didn't check your new profile yet but was thinking perhaps you could mention something in your profile that you don't explain completely. Use it like tease to pique interest so perhaps a Domme will write to ask about the subject.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 26

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 8:25:35 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

I am wondering what other information is being sought. Career? Hobbies? Philosophy of life? Skills? Goals, both in and out of the relationship? Physical traits? Past Femdom experience? Areas the sub wishes to learn about and/or improve? Limits? Health issues?

Career? Interesting, but not necessary in a profile.

Hobbies? Might be good for a profile as a means of showing your more human side.

Philosophy of life? Sure, only if you keep it brief and don't rant about it for the length of a small novel.

Skills? Sure, both kind...as long as it's brief. People really don't like it if you even accidentally make yourself sound like a know-it-all or somebody who's bragging about all that they know. Also don't bother with skills that don't actually get used.

Goals? You don't really want to put your goals in for a relationship, simply because that can and, in my opinion, should vary from person to person. Nobody is going to fit a mold, and if they do, they're trying to sell you something. Personal life goals? Quite possibly. It does make you easier to relate to and it shows that you do -have- goals. Some people will love the fact you have goals, and others will probably actually hate it.

Physical traits? Describe them, don't go into crazy detail. Leave that for email and other communcations.

Past Femdom Experience? No. DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER! Nobody wants to start off being compared.

Areas where the sub wishes to learn more and improve? I think that should be left to communcation outside of the profile.

Limits? Yes, only if they're realistic ones.

Health Issues? Probably not a good idea. Too many people will shy away at the idea before they really give it a chance. Don't ge me wrong, you should communicate them to somebody when it becomes an issue, but until that point, I really don't think you should give them more reasons than are necessary to prejudge you.

Just a few thoughts, compiled by myself with some lovely imput from my Owner.

DV and her Fox

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 27

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 8:49:41 PM

AllietheKitten

Posts: 115
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

I love a clever profile.
Wit. Sarcasm. some humor. A funny pickup line.
Or even an interesting photo...

I can't stand lists. Or a cop-out like "IM me if you want to know" *yawn* I also don't like a man who's messages or profile is all about sexsexsex. That gets SO old.

_____________________________

I don't believe in Destiny
Or the guiding hand of Fate
I don't believe in forever
of love as a mystical state
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance
We can find someone to love and make it last.
~Rush

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 28

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/16/2008 10:52:36 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

There is NOTHING more important here than a carefully crafted profile.

Take mine as an example. It's the result of much thought and introspection. Take the time to do it right. It's worth it!

Have fun.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 29

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/17/2008 2:11:59 AM

SpiderInWaiting

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I know different aspects of this have been covered elsewhere, but I hope people won't mind my trying to get it all in one place where it's easy to reference. :)

What information are you looking for when you browse profiles looking for a potential sub? Some things I suppose are obvious, like the standard age/sex/location question, and most seem to like photos. Beyond that?

My own profile -- I intend to revise it soon -- consist primarily of a summary of my kinky interests, with some elaborations. This was perhaps not well-thought out, as I believe it turns off many (if not virtually all) dommes, who see it as a "laundry list" of fantasies or fetishes I expect them to cater to. Which is not how it's intended; the idea is to see if we're somewhere on the same page, or at least in the same chapter. I cannot, with any degree of honesty, say that "I will serve in any way desired; it's all about You." Of course I expect a domme to be concerned with fulfilling her own needs, desires, and kinks. However, if she has absolutely no interest in areas important to me, then we would probably both be better off looking elsewhere; if I'm not getting my own kinks addressed from time to time, I'm not going to be enthusiastic about serving her in other ways.

So, while I ought to de-emphasize that part of things, I am wondering what other information is being sought. Career? Hobbies? Philosophy of life? Skills? Goals, both in and out of the relationship? Physical traits? Past Femdom experience? Areas the sub wishes to learn about and/or improve? Limits? Health issues?

I know there will be a variety of answers, but hopefully there will be some things we hopefuls can learn from. Me, I'm afraid that it will turn out that I just don't look all that good on paper....

First and foremost: be direct and honest.

Include:
*age
*sex
*location (city, state, country)
*height
*weight
*picture (more than one is prefered and try to make it an up-to-date picture)
*marital status
*hard and soft limits
*how much bdsm experience you have without too many details. you don't need to put your life history in your profile.
*personality type (passive, assertive, etc)
*your relationship goals
*the type of submission that you have to offer
*any health issues you have that you believe could affect your participation in activities
*the major fetishes that you are into. I would limit the amount of fetishes that you include to no more than three. if fetish fulfillment is what you are looking for more than anything then put that in. if d/s is the main thing then put that in your profile

Don't include:
*stories about others that you have been involved with.
*personal information that would make it easy for someone to track you down
*professional or work related information. if you talk about your professional successes you will find that your profile will become a magnet for scammers and gold diggers.
*instant messaging names or email addresses
*your full name
*your birth date

< Message edited by SpiderInWaiting -- 6/17/2008 2:16:09 AM >

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 30

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/17/2008 10:30:21 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster
However, my own cock is so gi-normous

I relate. I have thought to put a photo of it in my profile but the damn thing won't fit in my camera's viewfinder even when I am zoomed out to the max! It's just looks like a photo of skin!

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to SpiderInWaiting)

Post #: 31

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/17/2008 11:07:10 AM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

Oh, well, yes, I KNOW they all want as many cock photos as they can get. Nothing turns on a domme like unsolicitied photos of a strange male's cock, preferably accompanied with a well-written message attatched, such as "r u a dominate women i will do N E thing 4 u."

For the sake of efficiency, I usually just write the message on my cock before taking the photo.

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 32

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/17/2008 11:12:02 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake
For the sake of efficiency, I usually just write the message on my cock before taking the photo.

Excellent idea. However, one must be careful that the writing and the photo occur in the same level of arousal. For instance, if one writes "I have addidas" when very aroused but takes the photo in a state relatively more flacid, it might read as "I have aids."

"I will do N E thing 4 u" might become "I will do N'thing 4 u."*

* It's not hard to imagine some fold in the skin looking like an apostrophe.

It's just like the miscommunication people had in the cell phone static ads.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 6/17/2008 11:45:52 AM >

(in reply to Wheldrake)

Post #: 33

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/18/2008 8:25:11 PM

Mustardseed

Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

Something I wrote to a frustrated guy on another forum today:

Ripley: "I'm feeling a bit like a fifth wheel. Is there anything I can do?"
Apone: "I don't know. IS there anything that you can do?"
- Aliens

What, exactly, are your skills? You say that you're well-educated, so presumably you've written a resume or cirriculum vitae before. What is your service resume? What do you know how to do? What classes have you taken to hone your skills? Massage? Administrative assistance? CPR? Yard work? First aid? Computer geek? Manicures? Pedicures? Automotive care and repair? Cooking either for gourmets or specialized diets? Clothing design and construction? Chaueffeuring? Musician? Bodyguarding? General handyman? Personal trainer? Are you a fast learner, or do you need pain as a motivator? Are you a self-starter, or do you need a detailed list of tasks and a schedule? What, exactly, are you going to do that will make your dominant's life easier? What classes or workshops are you planning to enroll in to increase your skill set while continuing on your search for this woman?

What is your experience like? Who have you served under already, even temporarily? Are they willing to be referrals for you?

Since you seem to be applying for the position of someone's submissive, it might be handy to look at your profile as more of a resume and cover letter than the prelude to an online mating dance.

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 34

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/19/2008 2:51:50 AM

kneelingnothing

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

Sublime Mistress Dolly,
You bring things so rightly to the point! And with just a few words. Your Mind is Superior, so males surrendering to You in compete submission are really in good hands, even though cruel. But You know what is good for us slaves. You know everything. i have to bow my head, overwhelming my male arrogance, and obey. To fulfill Your Whims means to fulfill my life, being humble helps me focus on that deep truth of Yours.

Humbly worshipping You
kneeling nothing

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 35

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/25/2008 2:27:35 AM

alison2603

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

there are many different types of Mistresses out there, i would say a general thing to begin with, and talk about experience, then take your convos from there

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 36

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/25/2008 6:38:12 AM

LuvnFemAuthority

Posts: 26
Joined: 3/31/2008
From: New England but I live in the 'Burgh
Status: offline

I know the reply is late but I want to add my 2 cents... cuz I can. :)

First and foremost, I agree with MissMagnolia that the first thing you should be doing is recognizing a Domme is a real, live woman and not only not a BDSM pornstar, but also not a) carbon copy of the last good experience you had nor b) a fantasy creation you've been dreaming about for years. I didn't realize, with the last boy I tried with, till way too far in that he had created a fantasy in his head that was not even possible in real life. I perhaps was blinded by the fact that he and I seemed to click so well. At the end of the day, the reality was that he wanted to be a workaholic, not have to really contribute much to the relationship, and still have a loving bond magically maintained. I still have yet to figure out when he would have time to serve with it like that never mind the standard emotional needs that need to be fulfilled. :: shrugs:: So, if you don't have a lot of experience with women, hell even if you do, ask yourself and/or someone else if what you want is even feasible.

Second, if you just list fetishes I'm going to think you're a faker or completely self-absorbed. I can understand why you'd want to get that out of the way, even that that is the hardest part to click with, fine. For gawdsake, please still start with who you are first. If a either a Domme or sub is not willing to read the whole profile they aren't worthy of you anyway. I actually want to know a bit about you before I bother to write to you. Which leads me to #3...

Third, I want to see intelligence in a profile. Show me that you've thought through who you are and what you want. Show me that you can construct a decent sentence. Grammar and spell check it even! One more broken english profile by a native speaker and I'm going to spontaneously combust. What the hell is wrong with our educational system that people can't manage a simple declarative sentence? (No, I'm not perfect either. There's a difference between neanderthal and not knowing where to put commas.)

Fourth, I want to see ambition and success in the regular world. Perhaps not everyone is but I busted my ass to get through my masters so I'm not keen to choose a walmart employee for a partner. No, I'm not expecting a man to be rich just similiarly educated and gainfully employed! I'm not asking for anything I don't expect from myself also. Ambition begets ambition.

So in my opinion, although not terribly humble, a profile should start with what type of relationship you are seeking. Don't make me read to the end to find out you're married and only want to meet once a week in a motel. That will piss me off. If you think your fetishes are unique and need to be addressed put that second. Otherwise, I'd say just leave that to the "interests" list on the left. Continue on to general information about yourself, some adjectives might be nice. Share some hobbies. And I would like to know the level of education you attained and the general field you are employed in.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

I know different aspects of this have been covered elsewhere, but I hope people won't mind my trying to get it all in one place where it's easy to reference. :)

What information are you looking for when you browse profiles looking for a potential sub? Some things I suppose are obvious, like the standard age/sex/location question, and most seem to like photos. Beyond that?

My own profile -- I intend to revise it soon -- consist primarily of a summary of my kinky interests, with some elaborations. This was perhaps not well-thought out, as I believe it turns off many (if not virtually all) dommes, who see it as a "laundry list" of fantasies or fetishes I expect them to cater to. Which is not how it's intended; the idea is to see if we're somewhere on the same page, or at least in the same chapter. I cannot, with any degree of honesty, say that "I will serve in any way desired; it's all about You." Of course I expect a domme to be concerned with fulfilling her own needs, desires, and kinks. However, if she has absolutely no interest in areas important to me, then we would probably both be better off looking elsewhere; if I'm not getting my own kinks addressed from time to time, I'm not going to be enthusiastic about serving her in other ways.

So, while I ought to de-emphasize that part of things, I am wondering what other information is being sought. Career? Hobbies? Philosophy of life? Skills? Goals, both in and out of the relationship? Physical traits? Past Femdom experience? Areas the sub wishes to learn about and/or improve? Limits? Health issues?

I know there will be a variety of answers, but hopefully there will be some things we hopefuls can learn from. Me, I'm afraid that it will turn out that I just don't look all that good on paper....

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 37

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/25/2008 6:55:25 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I think your new profile is great. Of course, I'm not your type.

One thing I'd like to point out: every single man has flaws. And, this may come as a surprise, but women know this, and look for male partners anyway. Dana Carvey has a line: "Women want a man who is strong, with a washboard stomach, but still able to relate to their wants and needs. Well, ladies, you can't have that man -- because he has a BOYFRIEND." Part of the reason it's funny is that it points to the truth that perfection is unattainable.

"Put your best foot forward" doesn't mean "lie about and hide the bad stuff." It means that you lead with your positives. Any lady interested in you will understand that there are not-so-positives also. Be honest and open about your flaws after she expresses interest. Before that, you would be committing self-sabotage ... and, besides, it's none of her business.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LuvnFemAuthority)

Post #: 38

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/25/2008 8:06:55 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Wow! Your profile really IS great! I love that you lead in with non-BDSM things. It piques my interest about who you are, and then leads me into your interests.

I like how you laid out fetish areas you liked in your journal. I haven't seen that done before, but it was effective. It creates a perceptible amount of distance between who you are and some of the things you would like to do -- you deftly straddle the line between saying what you dream of without being pushy.

Kudos!

(and just to put this in context, it takes a lot to evoke such lauds from me - I am not a natural cheerleader)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
One thing I'd like to point out: every single man has flaws. And, this may come as a surprise, but women know this, and look for male partners anyway. \

Frankly, knowing that a man is imperfect makes him more interesting. Maybe because it creates a sense of tension, or that it suggests a sense of realism and comfort with oneself.

Mss

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 39

RE: What should be in a sub's profile? - 6/25/2008 8:11:08 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

I love all of you!!

Does anyone have any, well, you know dude.

C'mon.

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 40

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