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RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 8:42:30 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		stay on in invisible mode and don't repond to their offline messages or go into the stealth settings so just those you wish to speak w/ can see that you are online

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 8:56:29 AM   
Dadddy


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		As far as how long to Yahoo IM or how long to wait before you call someone on the phone, I think that depends on the individual. Some people I have IMed with for a couple of weeks and then talked to on the phone. Others, I have talked to on the phone more quickly.

I will add that the Yahoo IM voice function is a really nice way to hear a person's voice---a sub can hear exactly how dominant a person sounds, and a Dom can hear what a sub sounds like, too.

If a sub is particularly shy, hearing a prospective Master's voice on her headset as she types her responses can make her feel more at ease before a phone conversation--at least, the subs I have met have told me this. You also get "real time" answers to questions via voice--that can be a plus because strictly shooting a person questions via e-mail might allow them the time to think and tailor a answer to what they think you want to hear.

Above all, if you don't feel comfortable giving out your number when a Dom asks for it, then don't. Now if a person is asked to wait an eternity for the next step of phoning, and both parties indicate a genuine interest in one another, then there's a problem. On the other hand, if you just met someone, and they suddenly want your phone number, well, that's a problem, too.

Bottom line---you need to do what makes you feel safest and most comfortable. Anyone who is worth talking to will respect your feelings on this.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 9:03:33 AM   
LacieDoll


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline 		I am new here but I was having this conversation with someone from another site. I am immediately turned off by someone who wants phone contact or webcam immediately. It shows me where their interests lie and that they are not interested in who I am but rather to satisfy their own deviances. That's just not me. I will yahoo and will take part in yahoo voice only after I establish they aren't one of the above. I love talking to new people and yahoo affords me the luxery to do that without fear or reprise. I am not opposed talking on the phone at some point but there has to be an established comfort level to do so. There are just too many weirdos online not to be safe.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 9:35:19 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		Whether or not someone gets my private email address, my IM ID, my phone number, or even my address is entirely dependent upon how comfortable I feel with that person. There are individuals I've spoken with online for months... who live just a few miles from me and seem to be really nice people... whom I have not met in person and they do not have my phone number. There was another whom I met in person within two days of their first message to me, then they received my phone number and address, and were actually in my home the very next day. (That one didn't work out so well, as I'd strongly suspected it would not, 'cause the guy wanted to play "Mistress Make Me," and I had the audacity to actually expect my slave to obey without argument.)

I've had just one person want to use a webcam (which I do not have), but that was only so I could see what HE looked like, because he had no pic on his profile, and he turned it off after about 20 seconds. Poor guy was actually rather shy! We're still talking.

Overall, I'd say that a great deal of people who insist on immediate phone contact are really only looking for a means to an end. But there are definitely those rare few who simply believe it's an easier and more efficient means of getting to know someone else. My Master was in that latter category. I gave Him my phone number about 15 minutes into our very first conversation online. But then, He came highly recommended by a mutual friend.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to LacieDoll)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 10:22:41 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
quote:

I am new here but I was having this conversation with someone from another site. I am immediately turned off by someone who wants phone contact or webcam immediately. It shows me where their interests lie and that they are not interested in who I am but rather to satisfy their own deviances. That's just not me. I will yahoo and will take part in yahoo voice only after I establish they aren't one of the above. I love talking to new people and yahoo affords me the luxery to do that without fear or reprise. I am not opposed talking on the phone at some point but there has to be an established comfort level to do so. There are just too many weirdos online not to be safe.

LacieDoll


First, welcome miss. i hope you post often and make friends through doing so. As a word of caution; if someone has access to your Yahoo email account or other personal info, there is a way to muck up your YIM; i myself do not know how it is done, but that it happens...because it happened to me.

There is great functionality on the CM email site; i refuse to go off-site with a Man; you know; those emails that say "write me back at [email protected]". There's just no reason to do so.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 10/30/2005 10:23:19 AM >

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(in reply to LacieDoll)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 11:37:25 AM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

Kasia..i'd like to add You to my Yahoo Im list but you have no profile on the other side so i could not email you my request. If you are willing, please email me with the info. TY -- i find you wise and interesting.

pinkpleasures

Thank you darling, by all means I will be glad to chat with you, I sent you a mail.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 11:56:11 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Yahoo's IM stealth feature is the best. I make up different groups to put people in. Which is real easy to do. Then I can go online to just a certain group or just to a single person that I want.

A good tip I learned for deleting someone off your list that you don't want to contact you again is to first, right click their name, go to stealth, and click permanently offline, then delete. That way if you do go online to everyone in your list those you have deleted won't see you come online if you are still on their list.

I agree that voice on Yahoo is very good. My kid uses it all the time with her friends and the sound quality is very good. Just add the cam and it's like being in person. Well, kinda sorta. :)


_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 3:41:23 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I have social anxiety disorder and while it's mostly under controll, it still manifests when someoen wants to talk to me on the phone. Even talking to close friends gives me panic attacks.

I give my IM handle out as a matter of course. Once, in the spirit of inquiry, I tried as hard as I could to find out "real" information about me from my handle. I found out what town I lived in and where I went to school. That's all. So, no much worry there.

I like to meet someoen face to face as quickly as possible. I give out my IM handle and then I set up a time to meet. I skip the phone all-together. If someone MUST talk to me on the phone before meeting, I get a bit weirded out. Coffee, in a public place, is safe and non-comittal in my book.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 8:40:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
Emerald; did you change nicks? You're so lovely...i liked your old nick.

I've changed over, but I'm keeping ES2 up here. I'm still just as lovely, so thanks.
quote:


BTW, yes, instinct is what i generally rely on...but 10 out of 11 men i give my YIM ID to i no longer wish to speak to after the 1st time, but they keep IM'ing me. It's a less-than-perfect system.

Well either your instinct just sucks pre-chat or you feel some obligation to talk again after just one online conversation.

OUt of how many men you've met in your life, how many were ones you wanted to spend your whole life with? That's just how life is. Just because they Im you again doesn't mean you have to talk.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 10/30/2005 10:17:33 PM   
fts2005


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		i'm not sure if this has been suggested or not, i may have missed it, but with using your phone ~ if he wants to talk then why not ask if you can call him? ask when a good time would be and set up a specific time to call. then just *67 your number <smile>. (blocks caller id ~ and at least on my cell phone and old lan line it was a free service).

actually, my cell phone has the option to enable caller id block ... i don't use that option just cause i know i don't personally answer any numbers that come up restricted or unknown <laughing> ... missed a couple of Master's calls before i told Him that but as soon as He had left a message and said He was going to call back, i did then answer.

but as most have said, it's really all about what you are comfortable with and who you feel comfortable giving your number out too.

i rarely give out my number but after 'writing' back and forth, i like to hear a persons voice even over the phone because for me, it gives me a feel of who they are...the way they talk, how they word things, where their voice goes up or down ...

~ r ~

< Message edited by fts2005 -- 10/30/2005 10:23:05 PM >

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/1/2005 8:46:24 AM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Pink,
I think everyone feels this way to some extent. You have to think things thru and do what's really right for you. Don't get conned into doing something that doesn't feel right.

However, lots of us don't like to IM. I'm one of those and I'm not a flake, a fruit or a nut. I just prefer to write whole sentences in english rather than 'puter-eze'. I don't get upset if a lady doesn't want to give out her phone number, but after an initial conversation here I do prefer to write to her 'regular' e-mail address instead of conversing here. I think you ladies should just create an e-mail address someplace to use for this purpose solely. It doesn't have to be under your real name or any of your real data, but it would give you a place to 'filter' some of your contacts. That way if one is really bad or won't stop bothering you you can either block them or just delete the acct and start over. Please don't ass-u-me that every guy who doesn't IM is a fruit.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/1/2005 8:11:51 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		TY Oscar Sir...i have in fact tried to accomodate Men who will not/cannot add a messenger service to Their pcs. When i joined CM there was a CM Instant Messenger; does anyone know if the feature still exsts? The new "Invite to Chat" feature won't work for me as my browser cannot reach chat rooms apart from using mIRC...which i despise.

Just wondering.

candystripper

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/1/2005 8:20:09 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

TY Oscar Sir...i have in fact tried to accomodate Men who will not/cannot add a messenger service to Their pcs.
candystripper


This is a huge red flag for me.. that screams married. Anyone who cannot chat on a messenger service has "eyes" watching them. Just my own opinion and one of my screens.

maybemaybenot

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/1/2005 8:51:36 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

This is a huge red flag for me.. that screams married. Anyone who cannot chat on a messenger service has "eyes" watching them. Just my own opinion and one of my screens.

maybemaybenot


I don't "chat" online. I just give people my home phone and let Libby know they might be calling. Doesn't have anything to do with "eyes." It's just a personal preference

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/1/2005 8:58:28 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Ah. Sorry John, Sometimes I look at things thru my own eyes only, forgetting others have different tastes. I am monogamous, don't do married, that is where my reply came from.

Not a chat room sort either, but do enjoy corresponding with folks on messenger.

maybemaybenot

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/1/2005 9:02:58 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

i find myself struggling a bit with when it is appropriate to give out such information as my Yahoo IM ID or phone number. My number's unlisted, so i feel less concerned about being located at home, but it is still personal information


Few get my yahoo ID, why? Well no reason other than I don't like to chat much online. So, I pretty much have to really want to chat with you for you to get it.

I talk to those who are friends here on the board's on the phone for the most part. With the exception of a few. With long distance being essentially free anymore.

I understand your fear's though. I've had quite a few nutcases over the year's as well. Sad thing is though...if truly a nutcase they are going to find you regardless whether you give them any info or not.
For instance year's ago on ICQ...nutcase found me. Talked briefly. Next thing you know my phone rings. My number is unlisted and my icq directory says nothing beyond my name. Not even e-mail.
Sent me plane tickets to Las Vegas..in snail mail. Continued calling me even though I told him I was planning on prosecuting.
Anyway, come to find out he was a diplomats son so he had diplomatic immunity. A license to do most anything he wanted.

It never stopped until I dared him to come to my house....see what would be waiting. This was about a thousand calls later...etc.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, be careful but a true nutcase is a nutcase and they will find a way.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/2/2005 1:19:54 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

This is a huge red flag for me.. that screams married. Anyone who cannot chat on a messenger service has "eyes" watching them. Just my own opinion and one of my screens.

maybemaybenot


Generally speaking i agree with you, miss. However, i have had my YIM hacked; a Man inserted language only my reader could see -- another made my connection to someone fail entirely. It's one reason i prefer to stick with CM email; having your Yahoo ID gives a person too much information.

Having said that, i understand what you are saying miss; it will allow some Men to evade detection as liars and cheats. But i feel i can still find ways to detect (most) of those Men.

candystripper

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/2/2005 1:23:40 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It never stopped until I dared him to come to my house....see what would be waiting. This was about a thousand calls later...etc.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, be careful but a true nutcase is a nutcase and they will find a way.

sub4hire


Lordy, you had a time of it. TY for sharing; and reminding us we cannot be "bullet proof" on the net.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/2/2005 1:24:12 AM >

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/2/2005 6:56:07 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

Ah. Sorry John, Sometimes I look at things thru my own eyes only, forgetting others have different tastes. I am monogamous, don't do married, that is where my reply came from.

Not a chat room sort either, but do enjoy corresponding with folks on messenger.

maybemaybenot


Whereas I'm time driven and the long periods waiting for somone who may only type twenty or thirty strokes a minute turns me off unless I have something to do.

Consider the amount of information transfer that can take place in a ten minute telephone call to the same that could be exchanged in a series of IMs lasting the same time.

Also, it's handy for me to be able to hand the phone to Libby when a topic comes up (scrontal infusion to the dynamics of a three person scene) that she can speak better than I.

Libby's not an online person. Computers are her work so she uses them socially reluctantly or not at all. She much prefers face to face for meeting but will accept calls. She joined CollarMe to see what it was like and I don't think she's been back since joining.

As for the married/not married test, I'd feel more secure with a person's landline number. It's not perfect but is a lot less private than cellphones or computer communications

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: email, Yahoo IM and phone - 11/10/2005 10:53:47 AM   
TyrAnasazi


Posts: 19
Joined: 9/10/2004
From: The Palm Beaches
Status: offline
I have had a lot of issues with people on yahoo being HNG's and not what they say. Once every 6 months I clear my ignore list. The problem with giving a phone number if someone knows what they are doing they can find out everything they want about you.

Now if someone pushes for your number that should be a warning then and there. I ask subs to call my office until they feel safe. If a Dom is a gentleman he will show the girl that her security should be an issue over him being demanding of her information. Our position is to train and protect and pushing a submissive in an unconfortible position should bring up red flags.

I have no problem making a call, but I do have a problem asking for a number too quick. I will offer my yahoo, msn (not my aim) and chat on line. I have also met my share of nut cases on line...


_____________________________

Hunc tu cavetto Advocatus Diaboli
Tyr Anasazi

(in reply to pinkpleasures)
Profile   Post #: 40
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