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Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 7:53:44 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

I love you guys, I really do. I can think of probably 10 male submissives I'd happily spend time getting to know (although I suspect only a few would get past the first few rounds) if, you know, I was available. But, sadly, I'm not. And I TOTALLY feel bad about that. Makes me want to invest in cloning or something.
Other mistresses and dominant-types, am I the only goody-two-shoes here who feels bad that she's not quite up to taking on all the lovely guys offering themselves up?
I realize this totally screws with the cold bitch image, but, then, I don't exactly make a habit of enforcing that image now, do I? Even though I very much can be one in the right time and place, so there. ;)
Any ideas on how to assuage my guilt?

Post #: 1

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 9:17:26 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

That's a very sweet sentiment. While you're at it, could you clone me so that the women around here realize that i'm more trouble than i'm worth?

As far as assuaging your guilt... just don't feel guilty. Get the idea out of your head that you owe the wild male submissive anything. You've clearly shown that you understand that you're incapable of being more than you are, so why torment yourself in an effort of futility.

On the other hand, you have started and posted in threads saying some very wonderful things about submissive men; showing how much you admire and appreciate them. Sweetheart, you are doing your part; if you insist on feeling guilty, just go along as you have been. According to responses, it has made many a submissive man's day.

Edited to Add: i want to apologize if there was any impertinance percieved in my calling you "sweetheart". i'm not going to take it back as i meant it; you are a sweetheart, as well as a very lovely young lady. i just wanted to make it clear that i intended nothing untoward in addressing you as such.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 6/9/2008 9:48:39 AM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 2

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 11:15:21 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

That's a very sweet sentiment. While you're at it, could you clone me so that the women around here realize that i'm more trouble than i'm worth?

As far as assuaging your guilt... just don't feel guilty. Get the idea out of your head that you owe the wild male submissive anything. You've clearly shown that you understand that you're incapable of being more than you are, so why torment yourself in an effort of futility.

On the other hand, you have started and posted in threads saying some very wonderful things about submissive men; showing how much you admire and appreciate them. Sweetheart, you are doing your part; if you insist on feeling guilty, just go along as you have been. According to responses, it has made many a submissive man's day.

Edited to Add: i want to apologize if there was any impertinance percieved in my calling you "sweetheart". i'm not going to take it back as i meant it; you are a sweetheart, as well as a very lovely young lady. i just wanted to make it clear that i intended nothing untoward in addressing you as such.

*grin* You, of all people, can definitely relate, I know!

I know, I know. I'll get over it, I'm sure.

Aww. Thank you. That does make me feel better.

And no, I don't mind. Although it's funny to be called a young lady, as I don't really consider myself either! *laugh*

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 3

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 12:34:50 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny
*grin* You, of all people, can definitely relate, I know!

I know, I know. I'll get over it, I'm sure.

Aww. Thank you. That does make me feel better.

And no, I don't mind. Although it's funny to be called a young lady, as I don't really consider myself either! *laugh*

Honestly, i feel no kind of guilt for being unnavailable to any of the dominant women seaching here. This is because i'm firmly of the belief that i'd not be so attractive to the ladies here were i to be unowned (i know that this is not a view shared by everyone, but it is my perspective and i'm not here to debate that particular idea http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1620594 ).

As far as my calling you a young lady, well that is a different story. Even though you're a couple of years my senior, due to my preferences i do consider you young; i even consider Ma'am to be such and She is as much older than you as you are than me. The lady part is even easier, you've always presented yourself as my definition of a lady; and i always treat a woman as such until she shows herself to be undeserving.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 6/9/2008 12:51:32 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 4

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 12:53:29 PM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

I imagine I'd not be to the taste of quite a few of the boys, as well. Unavailability does so much for one's appeal. :P

Age is really just a number...I've been old, in my own mind, since I was very young. And by my own definition, I'm no lady...little class or elegance about me...I'm more of a lusty woman, but I take the compliment at face value. :)

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 5

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 2:19:36 PM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Hey, you two lovebirds...get a room!!! LOL

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 6

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 2:21:41 PM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

:P Lovebirds not on your life, but I'll go with mutual admiration society. :)

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 7

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 2:25:27 PM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

:P Lovebirds not on your life, but I'll go with mutual admiration society. :)

***singing a little tune***

DominantJenny and darch
sittin' in a tree...
S.P.A.N.K.I.N.G!!!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 8

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 2:55:29 PM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

DominantJenny you add so much to the board and in no way should you feel guilty. Being unavailable myself I greatly appreciate your thoughtful and thought-provolking posts that give me a chance to ponder the ponderable and interact with you and others.

Thank you.

_____________________________

TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 9

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 3:46:00 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I totally get this. You have no idea of how many messages I get revolving around the theme that I am taken and/or poly. It doesn't suit everyone, which I completely understand. There's been one or two that I constantly have to remind Myself of why we are so badly matched, because, at the spur of the moment, they would make such a yummy little morsel. I digress.

Oddly enough, it does feel like guilt, at times. There are certain subs that frequent these boards that I would love to have as My own. There's that little part of Me that would want to take them in as My own. Ah, but isn't meant to be.

Good post, Jenny.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to TermsConditions)

Post #: 10

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 4:07:20 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet
***singing a little tune***

DominantJenny and darch
sittin' in a tree...
S.P.A.N.K.I.N.G!!!

Ummm, in a word... no.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 11

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 4:07:39 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

You cannot be everything to everyone. Keep the ones you 'click' with close and be a little more casual with the others. Never think that you are the only female a male sub is talking to... no matter how much they say "You're the only one for me!" Those who seriously do enjoy communicating with you will continue to do so even if you don't have time to write to them every day... or answer every note they send.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 4:08:06 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Okay, I have to weigh in on the attached are better idea. DarchChylde, Aidan, AND MANY OTHERS here are just great guys. Not a one of them would be a good sub for me, and I wouldn't dream of poaching. Their being taken has nothing to do with their other fine qualities.

And you ladies who are getting deluged with offers? Good for you! My good offers are all long distance or married.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 13

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 4:13:12 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

Domant Jenny,
I'd echo darch's sentiments. Clearly you understand and appreciate us, helping break down stereotypes and unrealistic expectations in both what we are and what we're not.

Your presence here helps provide a role model for other dominants to follow on how they too can successfully attract and retain a submissive male of their own in a mutually satisfying D/s relationship. For that I thank you.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 14

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 5:43:20 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

I think unavailability does have a lot to do with it. The great thing about flirting with and complimenting someone taken is that you don't risk being rejected on the boards, IN PUBLIC. (smiling) It's a way of indulging in a lovefest, getting a buzz. I've had people in far-flung places like Amsterdam and British Columbia tell me that that wanted to be my submissive. I realized that they held me in regard, I was moved, but I understood that they felt they could say those things because they were distant, and nothing would come of it.

And besides, if you scooped up all those yummy submissives, wouldn't you next have to feel guilty for all the dominants you were depriving?

Mss

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 15

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 5:49:52 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

I love you guys, I really do. I can think of probably 10 male submissives I'd happily spend time getting to know (although I suspect only a few would get past the first few rounds) if, you know, I was available. But, sadly, I'm not. And I TOTALLY feel bad about that. Makes me want to invest in cloning or something.
Other mistresses and dominant-types, am I the only goody-two-shoes here who feels bad that she's not quite up to taking on all the lovely guys offering themselves up?
I realize this totally screws with the cold bitch image, but, then, I don't exactly make a habit of enforcing that image now, do I? Even though I very much can be one in the right time and place, so there. ;)
Any ideas on how to assuage my guilt?

I have no idea how to get rid of the guilt... if it were up to me, (meaning if I had a big enough house) I'd take too many home...
There are some that I'm really interested in but I have no where to put them....or fit them....not enough time, not enough space
Then there is the guilt that if I met THE ONE... I'd make the time and the space... or move time and space.. so what makes that person any different... what if one of the people I already speak to is THE ONE, only I'll never know because I haven't had him/her kneeling in front of me.
*sighs*
Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 16

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 5:56:54 PM

AtlantaMistress

Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

I totally understand - as I don't even have the time for the boys I do have as mine...one in particular, and for awhile I do feel guilty about that. I have always been totally honest though so I have learned that there is no reason for guilt. I wish there were more good Domme's available as I love to play matchmaker...and I am constantly encouraging the boys I play with who want more of me/my time to go out and play/meet others. Unfortunately, it seems like the more they get out - the more they want to come back.

I like the clone idea though!!! Unfortunately, a few boys would be happy - the rest of the world couldn't deal with it!!

_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.

(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 17

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 6:23:57 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

For me its not unavailability , i found distance to be a big wall , heck i am available "just nobody wants me " and i have met great people , i just can not afford to fly cross country or make the big swim to the UK .I do get what your saying Jenny and its admirable And Jenny i would not refer to you as a goody -two-shoes , more like a caring Domme , and thats a great traight not to be lost .

(in reply to AtlantaMistress)

Post #: 18

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 6:31:51 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

Reading some of the post's here and I begin to feel like a stray dog,hoping some one will take me in......Any of You Lovely Ladys can reach me at 516-382- wait I seem to be losing my connection

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 19

RE: Unavailability Guilt - 6/9/2008 6:35:10 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

LOL mike i was going to say something along those lines too subbie pound puppys .Come to think of it that would be kinda hot as long as we dont get put to sleep if not picked with in a certain time frame .

(in reply to slvemike4u)

Post #: 20

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