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RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/28/2005 12:22:09 PM   
LordoverU


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline 		you may also want to consider the distinction of "bottom". My definition - a bottom is the submissive in a play interaction, there is no long-term committment here

(in reply to esina)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 12:03:34 PM   
esina


Posts: 21
Status: offline 		Hiyas Everyone!!
I have made it back again, and i have to say i am surprised and pleased to see so many posts!! Thanx Aall. I think ive made some progress here and i wanna thank ya all for that you are all great!! I hope to keep hearing from yas and will no doubt see you all somewhere about the boards... oh and by the way just as an update for all those who have helped me along my path . . . i think ive found the Dom for me and we are getting on great!!!! So thanx for your advice everyone"

Love to ya all esina xxx

(in reply to LordoverU)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 12:11:48 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: esina
i think ive found the Dom for me and we are getting on great!!!! So thanx for your advice everyone"

A month ago you didn't want to be owned. You're probably in frenzy and going too fast. But, be the exception!

(in reply to esina)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 12:19:04 PM   
CrymzonKajira


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You're probably in frenzy and going too fast. But, be the exception


I know I have no place here, but it's funny... You take offense to when Master Six tells you that you have to be up in the middle of everyone's business and here you are doing it again...

LA, do you have a life? Cannot you just let her enjoy her moment and experience it at her own rate and time? Must you always be the negative voice? cannot you just for ONCE shut your mouth and give her the happiness she has found? Why are you always so damned negative? Go ahead, think I am attacking you, but I was only pointing out that Master Six, was right...you DO have to be all up in the chaos, and if there is not any, you DO have to be the one to stir it up...Just stop and wish her well..

To Esina--Best of Luck and I hope your dreams have been realized...
You have my support.

Love
CrymzonKajira

_____________________________

-=Beauty Slept And Angels Wept For Her Immortal Soul. In This Repose All Angels Choose to Claim Her For Their Very Own=-
-=A Slave Is Only Half A Slave If Unowned...And I Am=-

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 12:30:14 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		Edited bits:
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
You're probably in frenzy and going too fast.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
There's a whole other thread going on here about the importance of taking your time. One of the main points being is... people aren't always who they first seem.
these words are truly spoken of wisdom and experience. taking time is well worth the investment. we see similar words on many threads, but i know in my experiences (and would suspect in those of others) it is good to be reminded of them. thank you.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 12:33:40 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: esina

Hiyas Everyone!!
I have made it back again, and i have to say i am surprised and pleased to see so many posts!! Thanx Aall. I think ive made some progress here and i wanna thank ya all for that you are all great!! I hope to keep hearing from yas and will no doubt see you all somewhere about the boards... oh and by the way just as an update for all those who have helped me along my path . . . i think ive found the Dom for me and we are getting on great!!!! So thanx for your advice everyone"

Love to ya all esina xxx

i do wish you well, esina, and the previous post was made in reference to general advise, and i still hold to it as such.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.
got shoes?

(in reply to esina)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 12:46:53 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrymzonKajira
You take offense to when Master Six tells you that you have to be up in the middle of everyone's business and here you are doing it again...

A) I didn't take offense, I found it amusing

B) What I'm doing again is posting my reactions and feelings to a common situation. Everyone knows I'm a prolific poster. And if you don't want someone to react to something, you shouldn't put it in public.
quote:


LA, do you have a life?

I guess I like to think so. My livejournal name is EmeraldLiz if you want to see what I write about my daily life and judge for yourself.

quote:

Cannot you just let her enjoy her moment and experience it at her own rate and time? Must you always be the negative voice?

You mean voice of likely reason? Why is it negative to point out something? There's a reason everyone says to go slowly to newbies. There's a reason why we have the term "sub frenzy" at all. There's a reason why relationships that go too fast in the beginning rarely ever make it long term.
quote:


cannot you just for ONCE shut your mouth and give her the happiness she has found?

Now you're giving me control over someone else's happiness. I don't think that's control I have, it's certainly not control that I want. I admit I hope my words have influence on her- to make her think before she acts, to make her take all sides into perspective. And then I hope she makes the best choice for herself.

quote:

Just stop and wish her well..

Like I should have done with your situation?

(in reply to CrymzonKajira)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 1:42:35 PM   
Webmaster60


Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You mean voice of likely reason? Why is it negative to point out something?


LA.. not that CrymzonKajira should have a horse in ANY race here, but:

I've heard plenty about what you think is NOT possible, and what you DON'T believe in..
I'd really like to know (really) what you DO believe in? What happiness IS possible? Do you even actually expect the unexpected, that something turns out great and wonderful?

No, don't confuse me with a tree-hugging fantasy pusher.. hopefully you know better.

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 1:48:23 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Webmaster60
what you DO believe in?

I believe that everyone is going to do what they feel is best for them no matter what anyone else tries to tell them.

I believe that's how it should be done.

I believe lifetime chemistry can occur within in an instant but that lifelong commitments take years of work to form the foundations on.

quote:

Do you even actually expect the unexpected, that something turns out great and wonderful?

Like I said at first- I hope she's the exception. And I meant it.

(in reply to Webmaster60)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 3:59:39 PM   
AbstractSavant


Posts: 149
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrymzonKajira

quote:

You're probably in frenzy and going too fast. But, be the exception


I know I have no place here, but it's funny... You take offense to when Master Six tells you that you have to be up in the middle of everyone's business and here you are doing it again...

LA, do you have a life? Cannot you just let her enjoy her moment and experience it at her own rate and time? Must you always be the negative voice? cannot you just for ONCE shut your mouth and give her the happiness she has found? Why are you always so damned negative? Go ahead, think I am attacking you, but I was only pointing out that Master Six, was right...you DO have to be all up in the chaos, and if there is not any, you DO have to be the one to stir it up...Just stop and wish her well..

To Esina--Best of Luck and I hope your dreams have been realized...
You have my support.

Love
CrymzonKajira


So, who raised you to speak so obnoxiously?

Your parents or your Master?

(in reply to CrymzonKajira)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 4:13:00 PM   
LilWhiteWolf


Posts: 58
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		hi esina,
you will find many different type of people in this lifestyle as well as on collar me. if someone pushes you too fast or gives you "email orders" or says "hi slut" (grrrr i hate that) when you don't even know them, then you know you are dealing with wannabes wrapped up in their own little fantasy world. a D/s relationship needs to be taken slow and both the Dom and sub need to get to know each other. in other words, TRUST needs to be established amd that takes time. Anything worth having is worth waiting for.
Good luck and be safe
the lil wolf

(in reply to esina)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 11/30/2005 6:33:14 PM   
esina


Posts: 21
Status: offline 		LA and everyone,
I'm sorry for the dispute or rather differences of opinion i have caused here!!

To clarify things, i'm not owned, collared or any such thing, i meant that i have met someone in a real time situaution who i seem to be clicking with. We seem to understand each other and are doing everything very slowly slowly, just getting to know each other and kinda forming a foundation on which we can build.

And i am admitting with thanks to everyone who has posted here that if it wasnt for all your words of advice that i think i may have been to quick to jump into something without forethought for myself. It is through the posts and advice i have received that i have become very cautious and protective of myself. I do hope that in time i will find happiness in this relationship but i sure as hell aint gonnna be rushing into it!!!

To be quite honest about it, if i aint happy with anything that is said by Him or anything He may wanna try i will damn well tell Him and if He dont like it then thats His tuff shite!!!

Anyways, my new motto is "slowly slowly, litlle steps make for happiness!!!"

I hope this clarifies things, amd thanks everyone for caring

esina xxx

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 12/1/2005 9:51:29 AM   
CrymzonKajira


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

So, who raised you to speak so obnoxiously?

Your parents or your Master?


As for my so called obnixious attitude, Master Six, does not seem to have a problem with his girl's speaking their mind. But to answer your rather trite query. I was raised to Always speak my mind. For that is the most powerful gift I was given. In fact Master Six, found my post rather amusing, for it's bluntness in the ways LA has brutally attacked him. As they say all is fair in love and war, and hell let's throw in BDSM and opinions. (G)
I do apologize if I offended, but still my thoughts were just that my own.
Granted my situation did not work right away and yes,
Master Michael was correct too saying I shouldn't have a say in anything, seeing he too knows a small tidbit about me. But still, whilest freedom is still my gift as is my voice, until a Master takes it from me and I adhere to his simple requests.

As for my current situation...that is VERY slowly improving. Small steps are being taken by all three parties, for more information contacting Master Six would be in your best interest, for he is the one who truly knows my answers. For he was right in one simple comment he made, "When he does collar a girl, it is not just around their neck it is around their heart" this is very true, I feel it's tug every second I am breathing, the collar of Master Six, and his house.

So, now this lil one shall depart to do her assigned task.

Have a good day...

Crymzon

_____________________________

-=Beauty Slept And Angels Wept For Her Immortal Soul. In This Repose All Angels Choose to Claim Her For Their Very Own=-
-=A Slave Is Only Half A Slave If Unowned...And I Am=-

(in reply to AbstractSavant)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Help!!!!! So lost here - 12/1/2005 11:38:12 AM   
Prunesquallor


Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subspaceinMD


quote:

You are entitled to negotiate any potential relationship, and until you are owned, you are entitled to treat any potential owner as a vanilla acquaintance, question, contradict and be a general pain in the bum. However, once you make the decision to make that person your owner, you hand over some of your autonomy to them, and the form the relationship takes is dependent on what you have negotiated beforehand.


i understand what You are saying, and completely agree. However it is very hard to converse with a Dom and treat them as you would a vanilla person. i have a very hard time when meeting someone in this lifestyle (a Dominant) a treating them as a vanilla person. you are potentially meeting someone that you will submit to. How do you treat them as any normal person. for example i have a very sarcastic sense of humor, would i show that to a Dom? i feel like i wouldnt want to make them mad?



Sorry - I have only just seen this, so my response is a bit late.

If I were to meet a submissive who did not belong to me, and if I were to meet a submissive who might possibly belong to me in the future, I would expect the same of each of them. I would expect to be treated with civility but not servility. If I meet a sub I want to know what she is like as a person, and part of that person would, in your case, be the sarcastic sense of humour.

I have a couple of online subs, and one of those has a sarcastic sense of humour. Sometimes, when it crosses the line, it does get her into trouble - but I do appreciate it as a part of her witty and lively personality. And we have now been together long enough that she knows my limits, and is able to just stay within them. Just. :)

If a potential Dom/me objects to your being natural with them, and you know you are treating them with respect, then I feel that should instantly rule them out as a potential owner.

Of course, all this comes with the usual disclaimer that it is only my opinion.


< Message edited by Prunesquallor -- 12/1/2005 11:53:18 AM >

(in reply to subspaceinMD)
Profile   Post #: 54
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