Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (Full Version)

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GoddessTeaze -> Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 7:35:12 AM)

For Me a relationship based upon love
is needed in order to Dominate.
I've tried it with subs I "just" liked,
and It alwasy felt empty, meaningless.
they went home happy, and I was always missing out.

I've experianced it based upon Love & passion,
so since then I know, that that's the way
I want it, and not anyway else.
I do realise I'm not making this easy for Myself.


So how do you feel about this, and what's importent
for you  ?

Im curious to hear your answers.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`



Dnomyar -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 7:40:39 AM)

Like the song says "Whats love got to do with it"



sub4hire -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 7:44:52 AM)

Trust was for me...but yes by the time the trust came there was some love attached.

Although if I could have totally trusted without love, then no it wouldn't need to be attached.



SirKaton -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 7:53:14 AM)

Not necessary. Trust is more important and if things go well, it opens the door for love to develop on its own, however, whenever it happens, it usually throws the sub for a loop if they aren't expecting it to happen to them in this dynamic.



GoddessTeaze -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 7:57:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Like the song says "Whats love got to do with it"

For Me
allot.

B well.

GoddezzT`



Sandyshores29718 -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 7:58:09 AM)

For me to submit 100% thats my heart as well. However, i can submit some without giving my heart. So, it really depends.



GoddessTeaze -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 7:59:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
Trust was for me...but yes by the time the trust came there was some love attached.

Although if I could have totally trusted without love, then no it wouldn't need to be attached.


without trust or respect
there wouldn't b anything.

Most certainly No Bdsm.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`



KatyLied -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 8:09:45 AM)

I can be dominated by someone whom I do not love.  But I won't feel a deep emotional attachment to that person.  I do need to have a level of affection and trust.  If I waited to fall in love before I allowed someone to dominate me I'd be a lonely person.  I don't fall in love at first sight.



SirKaton -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 8:15:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

For me to submit 100% thats my heart as well. However, i can submit some without giving my heart. So, it really depends.


I should have included the caveat that really goes without saying.  Every submissive is different and just like sex, there are some that need to have that feeling of loving (or be "in love" ) with the person to give their body and others that need nothing more than a wind breeze to get into that zone. 

Submission is no different, but I have found that for this lifestyle, trust is an overarching factor that love cannot always compensate for, hence my original response.



topIrishsubm -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 8:21:44 AM)

It clearly isnt with many folk, people submit to satisfy many things.

For me personally speaking, long D/s is more difficult without love. It intensifies all aspects of the dynamic. My submissive tendancies are inextricably linked to how i want to be with someone. The prioritisation of my submission and Her dominance is the how we love each other.



favesclava -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 8:23:10 AM)

when i met Master there was no love or expectation of love on my part. i truly looked forward to the poly life He leads. i had no trouble and totally submitted with trust. the i fell so in love with Him and all hell broke loose. never having loved before it was very confusing and made me feel i wasnt being good because of my feelings towards His use of others. i have come far since those days. 
i couldnt submit to someone i loved but didnt trust. i know i submitted to Him without love.



Sandyshores29718 -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 8:28:26 AM)

i've noticed the major difference when i've submitted and was in love with my play partner than not. Theres this energy flow there when im in love with my partner when i'm not in love. Its easier for me to handle more and to push myself when the love is there in a Ds relationship, as well as, a vanilla one. i'm the type that likes for my partner to care about me other than the play time we share together.



christine1 -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 8:36:20 AM)

i can't and won't submit if i don't love the dominant i'm submitting to.  i tried the no love thing and it didn't work for me. 



BBWnNC72 -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 8:47:12 AM)

i have submitted to someone i don't love in the romantic way. But there was a love there, a love for that person for who they are.
Trust comes first for me, then love, either a deep friendship love or the romantic kind. i am lucky to have both. 



defiantbadgirl -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 8:59:04 AM)

I didn't need love to submit, but the one I submitted to had to be someone I was dating. If a guy refused to be seen with me in public, he was not worthy of my submission. I had better things to do with my time than be treated like a married man's secret mistress. Of course now I have Sir and he loves me.



IvyMorgan -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 9:31:07 AM)

I've submitted without love, by which I mean I have scened with them.  I couldn't be in a relationship without feeling something love-like for the other party, respect, caring, that sort of thing.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 9:37:33 AM)

quote:

So how do you feel about this, and what's importent
for you  ?

 
honesty and integrity are essential...love is sweet gravy.



al2getherooky -> RE: Is love an important ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 9:44:32 AM)

lust, trust and respect will work for a start.  in my experience however, a lasting dynamic needs to be just that - dynamic - meaning it's got to deepen and grow or the fire will peter out.  love and a bit of awe are requisite to inpspire the deeper level of surrender that is most satisfying to me (and to the control-lovers i have intimately known).

~a




faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 9:58:09 AM)

no love = no point!




pinksugarsub -> RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? (6/10/2008 10:04:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

For Me a relationship based upon love
is needed in order to Dominate.
I've tried it with subs I "just" liked,
and It alwasy felt empty, meaningless.
they went home happy, and I was always missing out.

I've experianced it based upon Love & passion,
so since then I know, that that's the way
I want it, and not anyway else.
I do realise I'm not making this easy for Myself.


So how do you feel about this, and what's importent
for you  ?

Im curious to hear your answers.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`



GoddessT, i have no interest in a D/s relationship that is not based on love.  i seek a long term relationship with a Dom who cherishes me and shows me His love freely, without fear or insecurity.
 
i know S/some P/pl want different types of relationships, and i have no issues with T/them. i don't feel i am 'superior' to A/anyone merely because of how i'm wired.
 
i have learned there is no other relationship that offers me any level of satisfaction, so i don't continue to date a Dom if it becomes apparent W/we have no future together.
 
pinksugarsub



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