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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 7:38:41 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Launguage barriers is not a stupidity. She probably spoke very poor english and did not understand I'll have the same ment two of the same drinks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

Okay, so a co-worker and I went to lunch at a chinese food buffet. We sat down and the waiter came over to ask what we wanted to drink. Here's a play-by-play...

Me: "I'll take a diet Coke."

My friend: "I'll have the same thing."

Waiter: (blank stare)

My friend: "I'll have the same thing."

Waiter: "Huh?"

Me: "She'll have the same as me."

Waiter: "Sorry, we no hab dat."

My friend: "Huh?"

Waiter: "We no hab dat."

Friend gives me dumb look

Me: "Yanno, forget the same thing, just give us two diet Cokes."

Waiter: "Okay, I bring two diet Cokes."   (walks away)

Friend: "What the hell?!"

Me: "Same Ting - is new brand, Joe. We no hab dat."

Friend and me: (hysterical laughter)

For goodness sake..... how stupid can one person be?

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 7:41:05 PM

SinLee

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ok not my error but i have to share due to the sheer innocence of it....

when our first french au pair came over to take care of my brother, she had gone out with some friends she met... she was driving and they stopped at mcdonalds....
she looks rather confused telling this to my mother...
she said that whenever she tried to order a diet coke her friends in the car and the person at the window just laughed...

finally my mother said, it's pronounced "coke" not "cock" (and then had to tell her what cock was)
:p

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 7:42:23 PM

Roselaure

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I worked for the US Government at one time and some administrator got the bright idea that there were too many handicapped parking spaces. They took a summer hire and made the poor little thing call everyone who had a handicapped parking space and ask them if they still hadt he condition that justified the parking space. A guy in my office had only one leg. When he got his call he said, "Sugar, I got this leg blown off in Vietnam 25 years ago and it ain't grown back yet."

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 7:44:30 PM

sunshinemiss

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Oh i always teach them to say "coca-cola" *winks

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 7:45:34 PM

YourhandMyAss

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It does raise the question though, why is it people who're in this country forever, and are like say dr's still can't speak or understand the english launguage very well.

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 7:48:25 PM

sunshinemiss

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so i'm in a bar in Peru with my students... 2 more students join us and i say, por favor, dos basos.... (2 more glasses)... and the waiter says "realmente?" Really? and i say, "si"... My students all giggle and shrug (they are all in their 20's and 30's)... So before i know it, the bartender plants 2 wet sloppy kisses right on my mouth as only a Latino can! It seems i asked for besos, not basos.....

And no of course i never used that "accidentally" to get kisses out of hot dreamy Latino men... not me! oh noooooooooooooo

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 7:49:25 PM

SinLee

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LMAO i'll have to remember that one, sunshine

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 8:11:24 PM

Daddysredhead

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Sunshine... I'm still stuck with the thought of you and no panties to get in a bunch. *giggles*

I've just been there and done that, too, while living in another country. When I had my wedding overseas the year after I had the one here in the US, one of my husband's cousins told me of their "customs" in the receiving line to the elders. He told me how to greet them and how to thank them for taking me into their family. I spent two days practicing the words so I would pronounce them perfectly. I was so proud the day of the wedding, having learned my greeting properly. It wasn't until two hours before the ceremony that I was telling the auntie who was doing my hair that I had learned their receiving line greeting. She looked at me and said, "What did you learn, dear?" I told her what I had been "taught." I smiled and said it. She almost dropped the hairbrush and said, "Dear God, never say that to anyone, sweetie!" I looked at her and said, "What does it mean?" She got my husband in to tell me because she was too shy to do it herself. He had me say it, and he was in stitches. He said, "It means, 'Hurry up and eat then get your ass out of here.'" I was embarassed, but was quickly restored to my happy place when his aunties smacked the crap out of his cousin, who just stood there rolling in laughter. I could have been angry at him for potentially destroying future Asian-American diplomacy, but I laughed at it and myself. It's just the way I'm wired. I can laugh even when I'm truly the butt of the joke. (And telling strange new relatives to get their asses out of here, when you are the foreigner, is a lot more dicey than giggling - not in front of, mind you - a person who doesn't get the subtleties of the English language yet.) I actually speak a few languages and I'm sure I'll phuk them up terribly at some point and when the natives laugh at my mistakes, I'm sure I'll laugh right along with them.

Hell, I already have.

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 8:13:38 PM

Daddysredhead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

so i'm in a bar in Peru with my students... 2 more students join us and i say, por favor, dos basos.... (2 more glasses)... and the waiter says "realmente?" Really? and i say, "si"... My students all giggle and shrug (they are all in their 20's and 30's)... So before i know it, the bartender plants 2 wet sloppy kisses right on my mouth as only a Latino can! It seems i asked for besos, not basos.....

And no of course i never used that "accidentally" to get kisses out of hot dreamy Latino men... not me! oh noooooooooooooo

Sunshine... Future US Ambassador of Intimate Relations

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 8:24:58 PM

sunshinemiss

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do i get a tiara with that?

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 8:39:08 PM

Daddysredhead

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Only the shiniest of tiaras, my lady... and your own parking space.

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 8:43:55 PM

sunshinemiss

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Only the shiniest of tiaras, my lady... and your own parking space.

oooooooo pretty!

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 8:49:05 PM

Daddysredhead

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* can I get a ride, shiney? * LOL...

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 8:50:47 PM

sunshinemiss

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Always honey ... always!!! let's be baddddddddddddddddd!

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/10/2008 8:53:08 PM

Daddysredhead

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*grinzzzzz* oh yeahhhhhhh...........

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/11/2008 1:10:21 AM

pinksugarsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

Okay, so a co-worker and I went to lunch at a chinese food buffet. We sat down and the waiter came over to ask what we wanted to drink. Here's a play-by-play...

Me: "I'll take a diet Coke."

My friend: "I'll have the same thing."

Waiter: (blank stare)

My friend: "I'll have the same thing."

Waiter: "Huh?"

Me: "She'll have the same as me."

Waiter: "Sorry, we no hab dat."

My friend: "Huh?"

Waiter: "We no hab dat."

Friend gives me dumb look

Me: "Yanno, forget the same thing, just give us two diet Cokes."

Waiter: "Okay, I bring two diet Cokes."   (walks away)

Friend: "What the hell?!"

Me: "Same Ting - is new brand, Joe. We no hab dat."

Friend and me: (hysterical laughter)

For goodness sake..... how stupid can one person be?

LMAO. Here's mine:

The UM and i were driving from Ohio to Florida, and stopped in TN for breakfast. We had never been down south before, and the UM was 9 at the time -- very easily grossed out, especially by food.

So we order: eggs, sausages, toast and hash browns.

Waitress: And grits right?

Me: What's a grit?

Waitress: All our breakfasts come with grits, no extra charge.

Me: No thanks.

Waitress: <Leaves, goes to put in our orders; returns with plates with big piles of grits on them.>

UM: O gross! <Overheard by other patrons; now we're getting funny looks.>

Me: Please take these back and remove the grit stuff, okay?

Waitress: All our breakfasts come with grits.

Me: Can we have a clean plate so we can move the grits off?

Waitress: You need to eat grits; they're good for you.

<UM and i struggle to eat the food. The UM has almost nothing because she's so grossed out. Waitress returns to take our plates.>

Waitress to UM: You didn't clean your plate.

Me <hollaring>: Listen, bitch, just bring the check so we can get out of here!

<UM gets a big smile on her face.>

LOL.

pinksugarsub

< Message edited by pinksugarsub -- 6/11/2008 1:13:45 AM >

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RE: Dumbest waiter on earth - 6/11/2008 5:48:08 AM

hejira92

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My first time eating out in Atlanta (many, many moons ago):

me: I'd like iced tea
waitress: You want tea?
me: yes, iced tea.
waitress: we only have sweet tea and unsweet.
me: no, I want iced tea.
waitress: you want hot tea?
me: no, iced tea. You don't have iced tea?
waitress (looking at me as if I were a lunatic): we have sweet and unsweet....

It went down hill from there.

She also asked if I wanted hush puppies as a side. Now, why would I want shoes with my meal?

It took me several months to learn southern english. The first time a man told me "I'm fixin' to carry you to dinner", I thought- I can walk, thank you.

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