quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
I've gone to two munches offered by two different groups.  From both of those experiences I learned that attending munches is definitely not for me.  If you think there is a "fresh meat" thing going on on-line, it's much worse at real time events.  And some of the behavior is tacky.  If that is what you have to do to be considered real, I say no thanks.  I'm not in to sitting topless at a restaurant and charging other munch members $1/person for a peek at my breasts.  I didn't even realize this was typical munch behavior until I attended a munch.

I don't go to munches all that often but I've been to maybe a dozen total sponsored by maybe three different groups and I've never seen this sort of behavior at a munch. Maybe you did at both. 2 events really doesn't constitute a statistically valid sample ("typical munch behavior"). I hope you don't have a gig that involves clinical drug trials.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub
Evility, Katy's been pretty clear that she has made a decision not to attend a munch again.  Why are You having trouble respecting that?

quote:

2 events really doesn't constitute a statistically valid sample ("typical munch behavior")

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub
A/anyone else ever been wishy-washy about joining a D/s group?  Can Y/you tell me why?
pinksugarsub

quote:

i just joined the Yahoo Group for a D/s group in Akron, about an hour away. i've been reading their daily email notices about upcoming events. It's dawned on me i may never attend one of their events. (This is the dilemma part.)

The picnic in July? Nope -- can't afford the gas or depend on my car to get me there. Car pooling with another member? Nope -- i don't feel comfortable getting in a car with a stranger.

The knife play demo? Not just no, but hell no.

The monthly dinner before the dungeon party? i had thought this would be okay. Then i realised i have no intention of ever going to the dungeon, especially unaccompanied (and still have the same travel barriers).

Word of mouth from current and former members has let me 'peek' into two other D/s groups. Both of them have had schisms that were quite nasty. Apparently there's a recurring problem with power struggles and the like. Makes me wonder if this is a tendency of D/s groups generally. i don't want anything to do with such conflicts.

For S/some P/pl on these boards, it's an article of faith that joining a D/s group and attending dungeon or play parties is a prerequisite for 'being real'. Apparently there's a belief that unless O/one has group experiences, T/they have no hope of ever forming a satisfying D/s relationship.

i'm not too sure what the connection is. Yes, i'd meet more Doms to date, but i have enough of Them already. Yes, i'd have D/s F/friends -- but i already have some terrific O/ones. And yes, i'd get to observe some forms of play i might not think i'd like -- but i kinda thought part of a new relationship with a Dom would include learning about different kinds of play. Voyeurism isn't one of my kinks; in fact it's a limit -- maybe a hard limit. i'm not sure yet.

A/anyone else ever been wishy-washy about joining a D/s group? Can Y/you tell me why?

pinksugarsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub
Evility, Katy's been pretty clear that she has made a decision not to attend a munch again.  Why are You having trouble respecting that?

So Katy's allowed to share her opinion because it supports your premise but I'm not allowed to share my opinion because it conflicts with your premise and does not support Katy's conclusion?

I personally couldn't care less what Katy does. She could never leave the house again in this lifetime and it wouldn't matter to me. I'm not challenging her decision. I simply commented that drawing such a broad conclusion about munches in general based on her very limited experiences doesn't make sense and that my personal experiences were very different from hers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

Pink
 
   It seems you want to argue and dismiss others perspectives, and want to interpret them as a personal attack on your choice or decisions.
 
You have made up your mind.  cool.
A munch or lack there of, doesn't make you real or fake.  Only YOU determine how real and/or fulfilling your experiences are for you.
 
Personally..... the munches or local events I have attended in the past, have been experiences.  Which is exactly why I chose to go and would go again.  Experiences....others perspectives...broadening my view of things....challenging myself to learn and to expand my world.
It is how I grow as a person <<< and that is not limited to WIIWD...in my life in general.  I go to varied meetings for mental health, personal empowerment and personal growth.

 are they clique'y ?   sometimes.
do they come with drama?  it's happened...luckily I have other locations and choices of groups and so can either rise above that or go to  a different group.
 Put a group of people together, in any venue, and you will get a certain amt of that. 

I think you were too quick to take Erins post as a personal attack and failed to think about it .  It might not be your truth, but it was her way of sharing a different perspective.  It's too bad you alienated her, she has alot of good stuff to share.

For me, when I find myself using excessive excuses to justify my actions> it means I am internally fighting with myself.  usually a good time to stop and find out why I am struggling.
  And, it usually turns out to be something I am not wanting to "feel" rather than about the action I was avoiding to begin with.
 
But thats only my experience.

 
 
 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

quote:

i just joined the Yahoo Group for a D/s group in Akron, about an hour away. i've been reading their daily email notices about upcoming events. It's dawned on me i may never attend one of their events. (This is the dilemma part.)

The picnic in July? Nope -- can't afford the gas or depend on my car to get me there. Car pooling with another member? Nope -- i don't feel comfortable getting in a car with a stranger.

The knife play demo? Not just no, but hell no.

The monthly dinner before the dungeon party? i had thought this would be okay. Then i realised i have no intention of ever going to the dungeon, especially unaccompanied (and still have the same travel barriers).

Word of mouth from current and former members has let me 'peek' into two other D/s groups. Both of them have had schisms that were quite nasty. Apparently there's a recurring problem with power struggles and the like. Makes me wonder if this is a tendency of D/s groups generally. i don't want anything to do with such conflicts.

For S/some P/pl on these boards, it's an article of faith that joining a D/s group and attending dungeon or play parties is a prerequisite for 'being real'. Apparently there's a belief that unless O/one has group experiences, T/they have no hope of ever forming a satisfying D/s relationship.

i'm not too sure what the connection is. Yes, i'd meet more Doms to date, but i have enough of Them already. Yes, i'd have D/s F/friends -- but i already have some terrific O/ones. And yes, i'd get to observe some forms of play i might not think i'd like -- but i kinda thought part of a new relationship with a Dom would include learning about different kinds of play. Voyeurism isn't one of my kinks; in fact it's a limit -- maybe a hard limit. i'm not sure yet.

A/anyone else ever been wishy-washy about joining a D/s group? Can Y/you tell me why?

pinksugarsub

Then don't go. I don't get why this is threadworthy.....

PL

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

Pink
 
   It seems you want to argue and dismiss others perspectives, and want to interpret them as a personal attack on your choice or decisions.
 
You have made up your mind.  cool.
A munch or lack there of, doesn't make you real or fake.  Only YOU determine how real and/or fulfilling your experiences are for you.
 
Personally..... the munches or local events I have attended in the past, have been experiences.  Which is exactly why I chose to go and would go again.  Experiences....others perspectives...broadening my view of things....challenging myself to learn and to expand my world.
It is how I grow as a person <<< and that is not limited to WIIWD...in my life in general.  I go to varied meetings for mental health, personal empowerment and personal growth.

 are they clique'y ?   sometimes.
do they come with drama?  it's happened...luckily I have other locations and choices of groups and so can either rise above that or go to  a different group.
 Put a group of people together, in any venue, and you will get a certain amt of that. 

I think you were too quick to take Erins post as a personal attack and failed to think about it .  It might not be your truth, but it was her way of sharing a different perspective.  It's too bad you alienated her, she has alot of good stuff to share.

For me, when I find myself using excessive excuses to justify my actions> it means I am internally fighting with myself.  usually a good time to stop and find out why I am struggling.
  And, it usually turns out to be something I am not wanting to "feel" rather than about the action I was avoiding to begin with.
 
But thats only my experience.

 
 
 
 

TysGalilah, i do not want to argue, be dismissive, seek out potential personal attacks, etc. 
 
Instead, i want to stimulate a discusssion about what O/others may have experienced/thought/felt/etc.as T/they chose whether to join groups or attend munches etc.
 
i'm not sure why S/some P/pl have had such difficulty staying on topic.
 
i don't think i've alienated erin...and i don't quite understand how You would know it if i had.  She made some statements about me that i took issue with, and i responded. Generally, i enjoy her posts too.
 
BTW, i haven't made up my mind.  i'm still pondering.
 
pinksugarsub