Self Improvement

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DMFParadox -> Self Improvement (6/11/2008 6:07:31 AM)
Reposted from this thread. What's good for Master role models? One sub I know was very into the 'SexAndSubmission' site but it's also focused pretty much on the her and not the him; I'm not looking to wank off, I'm looking to improve my game. Although the movies are very well done, it's more scripted than I'd like... Plus it doesn't fit well with my particular style of mind fvckery. It doesn't really capture the mental aspect of dominating a girl to the point where she feels helpless, lost as to what happens next yet safe; or fishing out her need to be controlled and satisfying it; it's more about the toys than anything, and it's pretty obvious these girls are paid. Know any good viewing material that gives me real substance without choking on the hokey? ( I know about literotica, and the S/M section at Borders. Some good stuff there, but not the same impact as a good reel would have.) I'm posting in the Ask A Master category because I want the honest opinions of heterosexual intelligent Dom peers. Guys who have close to the same mindset I do and know what kind of crap I can't be bothered with, and what kind I should sit my ass down and pay attention to. I'm posting a similar thread to the subs to see what gets them hot, and I'll correlate between the two. Hopefully I'm not violating any TOS by this duplication; it has a purpose. If you're a sub, go post on that one. If you're a Domme, unless you are REALLY certain that your reference will pass the awesome test then I politely ask that you out of kindness towards a honest seeker not muddy the waters. The stuff you learn from will not be the same stuff I learn from. Link to the thread in Ask A Sub

MrSpectacular -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 6:35:59 AM)
I think the best role model you have is being yourself. Hower given that you may be seeking more I would forget movies and online and get into real life . Attend some events -talk to other people in the scene. N

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 7:13:19 AM)
Telling people where to post is really rude, especially since it shows you have a predisposition to tell others what know you will and won't learn from them. That is not attractive so I'd suggest finding people and websites that won't put up with it and will help you move beyond that stupidity.

antipode -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 9:46:59 AM)
If you are telling people where to post if they're in a particularly category, you're no peer of mine, and not extremely socially intelligent. I doubt very much anybody can muddy your waters more.

Archer -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 10:36:34 AM)
OP "...I'm posting in the Ask A Master category because I want the honest opinions of heterosexual intelligent Dom peers. Guys who have close to the same mindset I do and know what kind of crap I can't be bothered with, and what kind I should sit my ass down and pay attention to. "... Wow well the first lesson would be to open your mind up a tiny bit and let some light inside, because being a Master is not about gender, or about what genders you have sex with. The huge majority of what works for one gender works for both, and a huge percentage of what works for gay and lesbian M/s relationships also works for Hetero relationships. Once you have opened the mind that much there are a wealth of experiences that can be read about and talked about between Masters.

IronBear -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 10:45:10 AM)
In reply to Archer........... Amen to that. I concur 100%. Iron Bear Master of Bruin Cottage (A Victorian Lifestyle poly home) "I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 10:57:49 AM)
Thanks, Archer and IronBear! And LA, of course! People have different learning modalities, but they are not gender based.

DesFIP -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 4:17:48 PM)
Movies by definition aren't real. They're porn designed to get men hot and part them from their money. They aren't about building trust, having good judgment proved over time or anything else that allows a woman to accept a man as her dominant. Honestly you're looking for a shortcut to a strong relationship, and they don't exist. Keep your word, do what you promise, stand up for what you believe in, care about another person. That's what it comes down to, from either side of the slash.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 4:36:18 PM)
HoneyMaster can get good ideas from doms, dommes, subs and slaves...hetero, bi, lesbian and gay... Guess He's just good like that![;)][:D]

Real_Trouble -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 6:22:29 PM)
"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles." - The Art of War, Sun Tzu In short, maybe you should try to understand other people instead of ordering them around, because right now you are making enemies you clearly do not understand. If you want a question answered, ask politely and do not try to dictate the particulars of answers.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 7:34:17 PM)
Hello DMF (and boy could we go off on those initials, couldn't we?) , Well you have been spanked,... Now for your question... You should "sit your ass down" and go to some learning seminars... read... listen to your s-type, practice, go to munches, check out a conference, talk to people and then listen! You have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason. There are several doms (and other types of course) that I deeply respect. If you pay attention, you will find some that you will also respect - I hope! I understand that sometimes we want answers from particular types of people - I sometimes want only from slaves or Doms or Dommes myself - but I don't ANNOUNCE in a public forum... I very quietly send cmail to the ones that I respect, whose opinion I value. I mean why are you spitting on everybody else? See if you can't find a mentor... that might help keep your foot out of your mouth. So self-improvment is your topic... sounds like you might do well to work from the inside out instead of the other way around. good luck sunshine

CruelDesires -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 9:10:27 PM)
Steven Segal. Hes a God among men. [:D] CD

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 10:25:38 PM)
I'm going to come off sounding like a prick here. But I can totally understand why you are asking this question just by the rudeness of your post. I suggest you work in becoming a little more opened minded to listening, getting inside others people heads, and learn to ask questions in a manner to not offend and piss off people. You really are not going to get the answers you are looking for with being rude. You'll most certainly never improve your game, unless you connection with somebody. Anything you learn or do, won't work with everybody and anybody. Basically, what might work with on sub, won't work with another. Getting inside your submissives mindset, priceless... however you have to let them in yours as well. There's a whole connection, that's a two way street. The only way you are going to know what makes a specific girl feel lost and helpless is to know what actually makes her feels lost and helpless. Sure there are some general things to do or try. Notice I said TRY... because that's really what a lot of this stuff is. You try things out and see what does or does not work. If you already have a submissive, explore her, figure her the fuck out. Nobody here knows what makes her fucking tick. That's your job to figure it out. Communication, trying things and exploring. Also what the Hell makes you Hot, what trips your trigger during a scene? Some submissives are turned on by your own friggen reactions. Some will get lost and feeling helpless, when you feel you in complete control of what is going on. Trust me, they can pick up on it when you are not in control. This all is a bit of a Paradox. Geessh... There's a lot of tips and pointers you can get from sub,slaves, switches, Doms, Dommes. Male and Female alike on this topic.

Racquelle -> RE: Self Improvement (6/11/2008 10:48:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DMFParadox The stuff you learn from will not be the same stuff I learn from. It wont? How have you gone about learning stuff in the rest of your life? This isn't really all that different. Of course you can't get the essense of what is basically an interpersonal exchange from renting "Quills". Being a dominant is not like opening a paint-by-numbers kit. Do you know anyone else who is into this? If you do, hang out with them. If you don't, meet some. But of course, I have a cunt, so I am sure none of what I said was worth sitting your ass down for.

darkeangelique -> RE: Self Improvement (6/12/2008 12:54:36 AM)
Hi Sunshine, Excuse my ignorance, but can i ask what "s-type" is. i have seen it referred to on a number of posts. Many thanx Darke

MissMagnolia -> RE: Self Improvement (6/12/2008 12:58:34 AM)
s type= submissive

Archer -> RE: Self Improvement (6/12/2008 1:00:09 AM)
S type generic term to refer to submissives and slaves and others who are on that side of the hash mark.

darkeangelique -> RE: Self Improvement (6/12/2008 1:06:49 AM)
Thanx...of course it does!! Hope we all believe there is no such thing as a silly question...lol Be well Darke

SailingBum -> RE: Self Improvement (6/12/2008 1:11:38 AM)
ehhhh the OP is a control freak. BadOne

IronBear -> RE: Self Improvement (6/12/2008 3:32:21 AM)
Replying to the OP, By nature, upbringing and genetically, I am an arrogant bastard. I get up the hoses of a few people here by the way I write and how I state things. I get regular comments in private that I an a condescending prick and get even more notes on a friendly basis. Even I would never. Repeat NEVER open any address as you opened this thread. I will state here and now old lad, I learn something new from each and every person I meat human and non human. I’m not going to be so rude or blunt, depending on how you view it, as to tell you to get your head out of your ass, but I will suggest in a friendly manner that you take a long hard look at yourself, re-evaluate, make changes and then ask questions for all to respond and listen/read what others form all walks of life here have to say. I have not a single doubt that you will gather sufficient gems of wisdom for you to write a book on how to win friends and be a better human being. Iron Bear Master of Bruin Cottage (A Victorian Lifestyle poly home) "I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

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