RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up?

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/11/2008 8:01:34 PM

virgini970

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sorry no thanks i trusted a man that i knew for almost 20 years he told me he would never hurt me so he became my Master it did not last long at all i gave myself to him and he knew i did not trust any one so that hurt more than any thing

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/11/2008 8:03:38 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I will also need to have known the person well, and have spent a lot of time together
prior to meeting.

I meant to say, "I will also need to have known the person well, and have spent a lot of time
together, prior to moving in together! not meeting, lol

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/11/2008 8:35:07 PM

daddysliloneds

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i think some of the best, longest and happiest relationships are those who have seperate dwelling spaces, or at least a place they could 'get away' and be alone for a while.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/11/2008 10:17:14 PM

shivermetimbers

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Not trying to hijack the thread, but what I was saying is I did it once, and I wouldn't do it again. I think you misinterpreted my post.

BTW, I was at game 6 congrats. Best team won, great series. We'll be back. If you'd like a couple pics from the game, be glad to send them.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/11/2008 10:30:48 PM

Leatherist

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No effing way. Living with someone under the same roof is how many states stick you with a "common law marriage."

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/11/2008 10:57:30 PM

pinksugarsub

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Leatherist Sir, 'Common law marriage' in America is a thing of the past. i'm not aware of any state with such laws still on the books.

To N/no particular member:

Sorting out what i want and don't want isn't something i want to postpone until the moment some Dom is dangling a collar at me. If i decide i won't move and won't cohabitate -- and especially if i decide a long distance relationship will not suit me -- then those decisions alter my willingness to entertain some possibilities.

Thank Y/you to the members who shared T/their thoughts on the matter as it has arisen in T/their own lives. Very thought-provoking stuff.

pinksugarsub

< Message edited by pinksugarsub -- 6/11/2008 11:00:00 PM >

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/11/2008 11:17:54 PM

MissMagnolia

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I'm a completely selfish and would find it very difficult, if not impossible, to live with someone. I divorced 22 years ago and, apart from the occasional relationship where I shared my house with someone, I've been on my own. My son's just moved back home and quite honestly, I resent it (but as a mother I couldn't say no.). The TV is always on, or music, I never get that dead silence that I love. I get sick of all the dishes in the sink (even though I have a dishwasher), I get tired of waiting to do my laundry because he's doing his, I get sick of him asking if he can get a lift to wherever. I hated all that when I was living with a lover too.

I'm not saying never, I'm saying I doubt it.

< Message edited by MissMagnolia -- 6/11/2008 11:18:32 PM >

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/11/2008 11:36:07 PM

pinksugarsub

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Poor MissMagnolia! The 'boomerang kid' phenom seems to be a growing trend. i don't know if it's arrested development, a lousy economy, or what. i know other P/pl in Your same situation. T/their grown kids never do dishes either.

It could be worse; Yr UM could have shown up with a new baby in tow.

Frankly i think i'd end up shooting myself, LMAO.

pinksugarsub

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 12:45:55 AM

MissMagnolia

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My son is gay, thank god!!! I will never suffer the ickiness of being a granny!!!! Yes, he has been warned that adopting a child is not appropriate and must never be discussed.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 1:51:48 AM

lally3

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the thing ive found is there are no absolutes, everything changes. just when you think youve got it sussed the goal posts move again.

a year ago i was more than happy to be on my own. it was great and i couldnt imagine that changing - i couldnt imagine finding the time for a Master or even particularly wanting to. my life was full, not complete, but full.

now its all changed and i find i have the time, motiviation, desire and need for my Master in my life.

leaving something for something else is only possible if the something else is better than the something youre leaving behind.

fact is - it is better to be on your own rather than be with someone who isnt right and sometimes finding that right person or the belief that you ever will gets a bit daunting.

if the absolute right person for you came along - he made you happy, made you laugh, filled that subbie void with all the things that worked for you it wouldnt be such a hard decision to make - we're a long time dead after all.

just that now youre in a hiatus, i was too, we all go through them, its a time of self growth and reappraisal and that magical thing, healing silence and calm. enjoy.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 2:27:56 AM

leakylee

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oh now this is a good one.. eek!!

i moved back home two years ago. took back over my house, been doing the remodeling thing. somewhere about 65% done. the thought of moving back across country, that just squeeks me out. leaving my house after putting all of this work into it. that just frustrates me. after living alone for 10 years, the thought of someone else in my space alll the time. i am not sure that is a very pleasant thought somedays. i mean my dogs bounce on my nerves somedays.

i am in the thought that cohabitation, as nice as it may sounds, may not be the best answer. time, space, and seperate territory may not be such a bad idea.

smooches
lee

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 3:02:01 AM

ResidentSadist

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Currently living alone for 30 days now. I have only lived alone for a few months at a time in my life. I didn’t mind it too much but it isn’t the norm for me. I have been living with partners since I was 15 and sorta’ got used to the benefits.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 4:07:17 AM

lronitulstahp

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i have two small Um's, and i'm not a fan of having the revolving door with men in my life. There would have to be a relationship that lasted for some time prior to cohabitating. Would i move or have a Dom relocate to be with me here? Yes, but it would have to be for ONE HECK of a MAN!!!!!!

< Message edited by lronitulstahp -- 6/12/2008 4:20:55 AM >

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 5:53:20 AM

TreasureKY

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

No effing way. Living with someone under the same roof is how many states stick you with a "common law marriage."

Despite pinksugarsub's obliviousness to which states still recognize common law marriages, she is correct in saying that it is essentially a thing of the past in the United States. With regard to the mere handful of states that do still permit common law marriages to be contracted, a necessary element is that the couple hold themselves out to be married. In other words, they must positively agree to and present themselves as being married... mere cohabitation by itself is not sufficient to create the contract.

But you shouldn't worry so much, Leatherist... you'd have to first find a woman that you like enough to live with, and of course, she'd have to like you, too. With the world full of cheating, scheming and selfish females, your chances seem pretty slim.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 6:07:29 AM

KatyLied

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There are links all over the net regarding common law marriage. And I agree, it's not at all as common as it used to be.

What's the latest on palimony? Is that still an issue for people who cohabit? That would be an equally scary thought. It's useful to read up on all of this stuff and be informed before entering into any sort of living together arrangement, especially if there is some risk to your future finances.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 11:37:50 AM

tinkerbelle3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

No effing way. Living with someone under the same roof is how many states stick you with a "common law marriage."

There are things that you can do to protect your assets, like a notarized cohabitation agreement for instance. Just my 2 cents.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 11:55:32 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

to the op.....why worry about something that you dont have to? just live and cross these bridges when you come to them.

And isn't this the truth. If someone had told me a year ago that my wife would be wearing a collar and kneeling in front of me, ready to obey any command I was likely to give her, I'd have told them they were smoking crack. I sure am glad I didn't try to decide that before the situation really happened.

That being said, the OP's concerns are practical and reasonable. At least for me on the M/s side of things, these are questions that I, as the Master, had better have answers for before I talk about taking responsibility for another person's life. From a D/s pespective, it's still somethign that you'd want to discuss as a team I'd think.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 11:56:02 AM

Leatherist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tinkerbelle3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

No effing way. Living with someone under the same roof is how many states stick you with a "common law marriage."

There are things that you can do to protect your assets, like a notarized cohabitation agreement for instance. Just my 2 cents.

That's probably not a bad idea. I've had some pretty bad experiences with past live ins. Probably because I was looking more at kink convenience than how compatable we really were overall.

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 10:47:56 PM

pinksugarsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

No effing way. Living with someone under the same roof is how many states stick you with a "common law marriage."

Despite pinksugarsub's obliviousness to which states still recognize common law marriages, she is correct in saying that it is essentially a thing of the past in the United States. With regard to the mere handful of states that do still permit common law marriages to be contracted, a necessary element is that the couple hold themselves out to be married. In other words, they must positively agree to and present themselves as being married... mere cohabitation by itself is not sufficient to create the contract.

But you shouldn't worry so much, Leatherist... you'd have to first find a woman that you like enough to live with, and of course, she'd have to like you, too. With the world full of cheating, scheming and selfish females, your chances seem pretty slim.

Crickey; was i under some duty to research the state of the law of common law marriage in all 50 states? (Oblivious, my ass.)

Leatherist, don't listen to the 'gloom and doom' crowd. There are quality W/women around...and (unless Yr poly) You only need to find one whom You can love to be happy.

pinksugarsub

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RE: Living Alone -- Can Y/you Give It Up? - 6/12/2008 10:54:43 PM

pinksugarsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

There are links all over the net regarding common law marriage. And I agree, it's not at all as common as it used to be.

What's the latest on palimony? Is that still an issue for people who cohabit? That would be an equally scary thought. It's useful to read up on all of this stuff and be informed before entering into any sort of living together arrangement, especially if there is some risk to your future finances.

Because you asked so nicely Katy, i took a look at 'palimony'.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palimony

This 'jives' with what i remember from law school; such suits are rare and usually unsuccessful.

pinksugarsub

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