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[Poll]

Time Away...


1-3 days
  29% (8)
4-7 days
  7% (2)
1 week
  11% (3)
2 weeks
  0% (0)
1 month
  0% (0)
Yes
  7% (2)
No
  7% (2)
O days. 1-3 hours, fine but 0 days
  37% (10)


Total Votes : 27
(last vote on : 6/13/2008 1:43:48 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Time Away... - 6/11/2008 11:16:21 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		People say that communication is an important issue for any dynamic, whether it be vanilla or D/s.  Yet, as I have been going through threads the last few months, it often seems to come up that either a dominant has pulled back from a submissive for a few days or a submissive has pulled back from a submissive for a few days (for which the dominant USUALLY gets bashed for being neglectful and non-caring and the submissive USUALLY does not but that's another thread).  I believe that only so much can be accomplished through email and through reflection (at a certain point, reflection becomes rumination and becomes defeating and destructive rather than beneficial and constructive).  At a certain point, back and forth of an immediate nature becomes necessary. 
So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction?  Does it make a difference whether the reason for the non-verbal interaction is a misunderstanding or a defined infraction (from either side of the D/s coin)?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 11:18:10 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

People say that communication is an important issue for any dynamic, whether it be vanilla or D/s.  Yet, as I have been going through threads the last few months, it often seems to come up that either a dominant has pulled back from a submissive for a few days or a submissive has pulled back from a submissive for a few days (for which the dominant USUALLY gets bashed for being neglectful and non-caring and the submissive USUALLY does not but that's another thread).  I believe that only so much can be accomplished through email and through reflection (at a certain point, reflection becomes rumination and becomes defeating and destructive rather than beneficial and constructive).  At a certain point, back and forth of an immediate nature becomes necessary. 
So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction?  Does it make a difference whether the reason for the non-verbal interaction is a misunderstanding or a defined infraction (from either side of the D/s coin)?


You been in the happy pills again, CD??

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 11:18:19 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		if i'm in a committed relationship and there is no good reason why there should be no communication, (like being out of the country), then i see no reason for no communication, period.

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 11:22:31 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

People say that communication is an important issue for any dynamic, whether it be vanilla or D/s.  Yet, as I have been going through threads the last few months, it often seems to come up that either a dominant has pulled back from a submissive for a few days or a submissive has pulled back from a submissive for a few days (for which the dominant USUALLY gets bashed for being neglectful and non-caring and the submissive USUALLY does not but that's another thread).  I believe that only so much can be accomplished through email and through reflection (at a certain point, reflection becomes rumination and becomes defeating and destructive rather than beneficial and constructive).  At a certain point, back and forth of an immediate nature becomes necessary. 
So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction?  Does it make a difference whether the reason for the non-verbal interaction is a misunderstanding or a defined infraction (from either side of the D/s coin)?


You been in the happy pills again, CD??


 I got your happy pill...right here, lovely... 

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 11:36:15 AM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Sometimes it's not a matter of pulling back, but of Real Life issues making it difficult to connect.  If/when I'm considering a prospective partner, I understand if he/she doesn't have time to sit online and message back and forth.  I can only hope that he/she realizes there are busy episodes in my own life as well.   However, a quick sentence or two is ALWAYS welcome during the interim.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 11:42:04 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		The reason for keeping slaves is interaction.....sometimes I like to hear her speak...other times I like to hear her scream. Why would I deny myself?

_____________________________



(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 11:45:03 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction? 


until i am done being pissed.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 11:49:12 AM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction? 


until i am done being pissed.



Right? 
 
Actually, that's sound strategy for avoiding punishment from one's Dominant-type, at least for me it is, as I am fully in touch with (more like controlled by) my inner bitch when pissed. 

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 12:02:34 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Come now holly, servant...those are not really clear answers, are they?  Simply operating off those statements, reasonable could be construed as being forever.  Many therapists, including mine, will tell you that a reasonable length of time for anger to subside enough to be able to speak with someone is 2-4 hours.  He is not saying that it has to be a long, drawn-out, let's-settle-everything-now type of talk even then but the beginnings of communication should be taking place. 

So...the question is still in play...if you'd care to answer seriously. 


(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 12:27:29 PM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Come now holly, servant...those are not really clear answers, are they?  Simply operating off those statements, reasonable could be construed as being forever.  Many therapists, including mine, will tell you that a reasonable length of time for anger to subside enough to be able to speak with someone is 2-4 hours.  He is not saying that it has to be a long, drawn-out, let's-settle-everything-now type of talk even then but the beginnings of communication should be taking place. 

So...the question is still in play...if you'd care to answer seriously. 




Average does not equate with always, and what's reasonable for one isn't necessarily reasonable for another.  Like our Mothers always told us....if You can't say something nice.....blah...blah...blah.
 
Better to hold one's tongue in that situation (for as long as it takes) than risk punishment, at least where my Master is concerned   

< Message edited by servantheart -- 6/11/2008 12:30:27 PM >

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 12:30:09 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		oh alright...(how did you know i was not serious?)

My scenerio is different from some as i am married to my Dom, so an actual separation is not likely.

I know myself, CD.. and i know my temper. From past experience i know i can ignite and say something that is hurtful to my partner. Therefore...my policy is to do my best to never speak (bellow) in anger. This generally requires a separation of a few hours, then a long talk.
It goes without saying that my Sir may need to do the same thing, but he does not have the explosive temper i do so the need has yet to arise.

Finally...any type of prolonged silent treatment will just hurt the relationship. Instead of wanting to work out the issue it would result in anger. And it makes no difference what the issue is...an infraction, a miscommunication, etc. An issue is an issue......

< Message edited by sirsholly -- 6/11/2008 1:07:01 PM >

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 12:34:25 PM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Come now holly, servant...those are not really clear answers, are they?  Simply operating off those statements, reasonable could be construed as being forever.  Many therapists, including mine, will tell you that a reasonable length of time for anger to subside enough to be able to speak with someone is 2-4 hours.  He is not saying that it has to be a long, drawn-out, let's-settle-everything-now type of talk even then but the beginnings of communication should be taking place. 

So...the question is still in play...if you'd care to answer seriously. 




What a GREAT imitation of a mod slap!! You go, CD! GET her!

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 12:35:53 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Come now holly, servant...those are not really clear answers, are they?  Simply operating off those statements, reasonable could be construed as being forever.  Many therapists, including mine, will tell you that a reasonable length of time for anger to subside enough to be able to speak with someone is 2-4 hours.  He is not saying that it has to be a long, drawn-out, let's-settle-everything-now type of talk even then but the beginnings of communication should be taking place. 

So...the question is still in play...if you'd care to answer seriously. 




What a GREAT imitation of a mod slap!! You go, CD! GET her!


*suck an egg*


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 12:56:21 PM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 12:57:13 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty




*cow*


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 12:59:25 PM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		  We've hijacked yet another thread!!  Sorry CD...........itty bitty, let's go back on OUR side!

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 1:00:43 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

  We've hijacked yet another thread!!  Sorry CD...........itty bitty, let's go back on OUR side!


*hangs head and mumbles an apology on Pots behalf*


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 6:01:20 PM   
awakenednj


Posts: 657
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline 		No communication at all... for whatever reason... longer than a couple of days? Good way to drive me batty and start becoming disrespectful. If you know you are going to be away for a time and tell me, that's one thing. But just dropping off the map? or silence as a punishment? Please, no!

*not that this invokes and very bad and not long-enough-ago memories or anything*

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 6:29:28 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction? 


until i am done being pissed.



Yep. Me too. If more people would realize that I *need* to be left alone when I ask for it, HM wouldn't get so many black eyes.
I'm just sayin'

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Time Away... - 6/11/2008 7:42:46 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		it would depend, for ex, in a couple weeks ima be out of cell phone range, and nowhere near a computer, so I really have no means to communicate

_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 20
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