Time Away... (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Time Away...


1-3 days
  29% (8)
4-7 days
  7% (2)
1 week
  11% (3)
2 weeks
  0% (0)
1 month
  0% (0)
Yes
  7% (2)
No
  7% (2)
O days. 1-3 hours, fine but 0 days
  37% (10)


Total Votes : 27
(last vote on : 6/13/2008 1:43:48 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )


Message

CreativeDominant -> Time Away... (6/11/2008 11:16:21 AM)

People say that communication is an important issue for any dynamic, whether it be vanilla or D/s.  Yet, as I have been going through threads the last few months, it often seems to come up that either a dominant has pulled back from a submissive for a few days or a submissive has pulled back from a submissive for a few days (for which the dominant USUALLY gets bashed for being neglectful and non-caring and the submissive USUALLY does not but that's another thread).  I believe that only so much can be accomplished through email and through reflection (at a certain point, reflection becomes rumination and becomes defeating and destructive rather than beneficial and constructive).  At a certain point, back and forth of an immediate nature becomes necessary. 
So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction?  Does it make a difference whether the reason for the non-verbal interaction is a misunderstanding or a defined infraction (from either side of the D/s coin)?



parttimehotty -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 11:18:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

People say that communication is an important issue for any dynamic, whether it be vanilla or D/s.  Yet, as I have been going through threads the last few months, it often seems to come up that either a dominant has pulled back from a submissive for a few days or a submissive has pulled back from a submissive for a few days (for which the dominant USUALLY gets bashed for being neglectful and non-caring and the submissive USUALLY does not but that's another thread).  I believe that only so much can be accomplished through email and through reflection (at a certain point, reflection becomes rumination and becomes defeating and destructive rather than beneficial and constructive).  At a certain point, back and forth of an immediate nature becomes necessary. 
So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction?  Does it make a difference whether the reason for the non-verbal interaction is a misunderstanding or a defined infraction (from either side of the D/s coin)?


You been in the happy pills again, CD??



christine1 -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 11:18:19 AM)

if i'm in a committed relationship and there is no good reason why there should be no communication, (like being out of the country), then i see no reason for no communication, period.



CreativeDominant -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 11:22:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

People say that communication is an important issue for any dynamic, whether it be vanilla or D/s.  Yet, as I have been going through threads the last few months, it often seems to come up that either a dominant has pulled back from a submissive for a few days or a submissive has pulled back from a submissive for a few days (for which the dominant USUALLY gets bashed for being neglectful and non-caring and the submissive USUALLY does not but that's another thread).  I believe that only so much can be accomplished through email and through reflection (at a certain point, reflection becomes rumination and becomes defeating and destructive rather than beneficial and constructive).  At a certain point, back and forth of an immediate nature becomes necessary. 
So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction?  Does it make a difference whether the reason for the non-verbal interaction is a misunderstanding or a defined infraction (from either side of the D/s coin)?


You been in the happy pills again, CD??


[:@] I got your happy pill...right here, lovely...  [sm=ass.gif]



purepleasure -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 11:36:15 AM)

Sometimes it's not a matter of pulling back, but of Real Life issues making it difficult to connect.  If/when I'm considering a prospective partner, I understand if he/she doesn't have time to sit online and message back and forth.  I can only hope that he/she realizes there are busy episodes in my own life as well.   However, a quick sentence or two is ALWAYS welcome during the interim.



celticlord2112 -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 11:42:04 AM)

The reason for keeping slaves is interaction.....sometimes I like to hear her speak...other times I like to hear her scream. Why would I deny myself?



sirsholly -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 11:45:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction? 


until i am done being pissed.



servantheart -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 11:49:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction? 


until i am done being pissed.



Right?  [8D]
 
Actually, that's sound strategy for avoiding punishment from one's Dominant-type, at least for me it is, as I am fully in touch with (more like controlled by) my inner bitch when pissed. 



CreativeDominant -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 12:02:34 PM)

Come now holly, servant...those are not really clear answers, are they?  Simply operating off those statements, reasonable could be construed as being forever.  Many therapists, including mine, will tell you that a reasonable length of time for anger to subside enough to be able to speak with someone is 2-4 hours.  He is not saying that it has to be a long, drawn-out, let's-settle-everything-now type of talk even then but the beginnings of communication should be taking place. 

So...the question is still in play...if you'd care to answer seriously. 




servantheart -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 12:27:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Come now holly, servant...those are not really clear answers, are they?  Simply operating off those statements, reasonable could be construed as being forever.  Many therapists, including mine, will tell you that a reasonable length of time for anger to subside enough to be able to speak with someone is 2-4 hours.  He is not saying that it has to be a long, drawn-out, let's-settle-everything-now type of talk even then but the beginnings of communication should be taking place. 

So...the question is still in play...if you'd care to answer seriously. 




Average does not equate with always, and what's reasonable for one isn't necessarily reasonable for another.  Like our Mothers always told us....if You can't say something nice.....blah...blah...blah.
 
Better to hold one's tongue in that situation (for as long as it takes) than risk punishment, at least where my Master is concerned [&:]  



sirsholly -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 12:30:09 PM)

oh alright...(how did you know i was not serious?)

My scenerio is different from some as i am married to my Dom, so an actual separation is not likely.

I know myself, CD.. and i know my temper. From past experience i know i can ignite and say something that is hurtful to my partner. Therefore...my policy is to do my best to never speak (bellow) in anger. This generally requires a separation of a few hours, then a long talk.
It goes without saying that my Sir may need to do the same thing, but he does not have the explosive temper i do so the need has yet to arise.

Finally...any type of prolonged silent treatment will just hurt the relationship. Instead of wanting to work out the issue it would result in anger. And it makes no difference what the issue is...an infraction, a miscommunication, etc. An issue is an issue......



parttimehotty -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 12:34:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Come now holly, servant...those are not really clear answers, are they?  Simply operating off those statements, reasonable could be construed as being forever.  Many therapists, including mine, will tell you that a reasonable length of time for anger to subside enough to be able to speak with someone is 2-4 hours.  He is not saying that it has to be a long, drawn-out, let's-settle-everything-now type of talk even then but the beginnings of communication should be taking place. 

So...the question is still in play...if you'd care to answer seriously. 




What a GREAT imitation of a mod slap!! You go, CD! GET her!



sirsholly -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 12:35:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Come now holly, servant...those are not really clear answers, are they?  Simply operating off those statements, reasonable could be construed as being forever.  Many therapists, including mine, will tell you that a reasonable length of time for anger to subside enough to be able to speak with someone is 2-4 hours.  He is not saying that it has to be a long, drawn-out, let's-settle-everything-now type of talk even then but the beginnings of communication should be taking place. 

So...the question is still in play...if you'd care to answer seriously. 




What a GREAT imitation of a mod slap!! You go, CD! GET her!


*suck an egg*



parttimehotty -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 12:56:21 PM)

[sm=AttentionWhore.gif]



sirsholly -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 12:57:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

[sm=AttentionWhore.gif]


*cow*



parttimehotty -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 12:59:25 PM)

[sm=Groaner.gif][sm=threadhijack.gif]  We've hijacked yet another thread!!  Sorry CD...........itty bitty, let's go back on OUR side!



sirsholly -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 1:00:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

[sm=Groaner.gif][sm=threadhijack.gif]  We've hijacked yet another thread!!  Sorry CD...........itty bitty, let's go back on OUR side!


*hangs head and mumbles an apology on Pots behalf*



awakenednj -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 6:01:20 PM)

No communication at all... for whatever reason... longer than a couple of days? Good way to drive me batty and start becoming disrespectful. If you know you are going to be away for a time and tell me, that's one thing. But just dropping off the map? or silence as a punishment? Please, no!

*not that this invokes and very bad and not long-enough-ago memories or anything*



xxblushesxx -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 6:29:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

So...my questions to you are these:, how long a time is reasonable for non-verbal interaction? 


until i am done being pissed.



Yep. Me too. If more people would realize that I *need* to be left alone when I ask for it, HM wouldn't get so many black eyes.
I'm just sayin'



Asherdelampyr -> RE: Time Away... (6/11/2008 7:42:46 PM)

it would depend, for ex, in a couple weeks ima be out of cell phone range, and nowhere near a computer, so I really have no means to communicate



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