RE: Submissive years of experience?

RE: Submissive years of experience? (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 8:45:47 AM)
Wow.. I have seen a lot of people drop off once the thrill is gone. I always viewed it as the grass is not really greener on the otherside. I have watched people enter this thinking that it will solve all their problems. Or that this has to work, and they MUST be sub/dom/whatever, because none of their other relationship worked before. And when it fails, they go back or look for something which must be the way. I never thought of it that way. Thanks! LOL I was feeling badly that I have experience. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I think experience has value in knowing whether the person is here to stay or not. Seems like in general there is a 2 year cutoff for rapture. After that, the bittersweet taste drives the thrill seekers with rapture away and those hooked on exchanging service, power/authority and suffering are here to stay.

Prinsexx -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 9:42:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wanderingstray I prefer odd numbers of years. 1,3,5,7,... is 0 odd or even? Mathematically 0 trumps all other numbers....so I guess the zero years experience has it.....[:D]

Prinsexx -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 9:43:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I think experience has value in knowing whether the person is here to stay or not. Seems like in general there is a 2 year cutoff for rapture. After that, the bittersweet taste drives the thrill seekers with rapture away and those hooked on exchanging service, power/authority and suffering are here to stay. Other than that… I echo other replies that say experience doesn’t equate to skill. Damn good two years though eh? [:D]

Prinsexx -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 9:45:33 AM)
quote: I couldn't change her past experience however I could change how she mentally and emotionally processed the same experience with me. I got this point succinctly...well said.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 10:49:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Nothing beats the famous "I was raised in the lifestyle" claim. I don’t make that claim and my parents were lifestyle. My parents didn’t raise me in the lifestyle. They kept that part of their relationship private. The only influence it had was that their were some books available in family library that might not have been their otherwise. I was 13 when I read the Marquee De Sade because it was on the bookshelf. The only thing I post about experience in my profile is that I come with a guarantee! LOL

RealSub58 -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 11:28:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx I only seem to see 'years ofexperience' written in Dom(me)s' profiles. I can see why this is a selling point. What one is selling is nebulous as it says NOTHING about what they have "experience" in or of! 1. years of experience baking cakes 2. years of experience flushing the toilet 3. years of experience reading about shibari 4. years of experience wondering what it might be like to have my feet massaged and kissed and licked 1. selling cakes at the local bakery 2. selling toilets at Lowe's 3. selling books in the second hand bookstore 4. selling OPI to salons I can see why this might endow a feeling of safety. Safety? 1. Does a baker use ingredients that are organic? 2. Does this salesman know the difference between Round bowls or Elongated bowls if the consumer is only 85# and had a disability? 3. Is Shibari information better from a second had store or from Barnes and Noble? After all which book is safer? 4. Is OPI really the safest nail polish? I also feeel that it might have it's negative aspects too. 1. OPI might give me nail fungus. 2. If B & N is a safer book store, Shibari books from a second hand store would really be unsafe. 3. An elongated bowl would make a disabled person fall in an swish away to sure death if only 85 pounds... it happened to my slave sister who has way more expereince than me !! 4. Organic lard in frosting is much better than chemical lard... such negativity is unhealthy!! But myy question is: what would the term years of experience mean in a submissive's profile? 1. Never been a doormat in the 100 most expensive homes in Palm Springs. 2. Read Castlerealm for 6 years, all of Claudia Varrin's books and now am reading all of Greenery Press books...it will take me about 12 years, will I be submissive enough by then? For me my body is my instrument as a submissive. I have been used as a puppy, a piggy, a pony, a school girl and a spash pad. I have alot of experience in being hogtied and suspended with a fucking machine in and out of my ass and cunt cause I heard ALOT of information by Master Lord Magnificent Poohbah as he walked me as a puppy; taught me to squel as a piggy, taught me to prance like a quarter horse; took me shopping for the right school girl skirt; and taught me the difference between a doormat and spash pad. I therefore cannot truly say when my submissive nature started and really couldn't state my years of experience. Lord Magnificent Poohbah explained my nature was slave cause I could do everything he told me to do and I did a good job. He told me my years of experience was equal his years of training me. I was under a consideration collar for 3 months before his training collar of 2 weeks, then he said I was ready for my collar of show at the dungeon. I have been waiting for 8.9 years to be used in the dungeon..while by body has been preserved in pristine conditon. Master says I have over 25 years experience. That counts all the books I read, the Internet I read and the collars he gave me to wear. This would be similar to stating how many years I had been willing to have my body used. I am 86 years. I have years of expereince using my body...which way do you want to know about? 1. putting on different types of girdles? 2. using pantyhose or silk stockings 3. taking showers or baths and use of sponges or loufas on my soft silkie skin 4. the kinds of diets I used on my body? 5. Better yet...what about all the kinds of lotins I used on my body? So; what meaning does it have for you as a submissive and how would you measure it? I measure by what takes my breath away... if for 3 seconds... I am excited. If for 17 seconds ...my cunt is probably be wet. If for 108 seconds ...I already orgasmed. If for 242 minutes, it will be unsafe, nonconsensual and definately insane cause I will have received a cerebral vascular accident. How useful is it to know this about a submissive if you are a dom(me)? Very valuable... If you dont know, I will be an abused victim. Do you value innocence or experience in a submissive? I love to look innocent. [sm=preen.gif] you might say I am more submissive, for I will do anything for you, even crawl on my knees or kneel when you demand "KNEEL BITCH" And this isn't merely (a personal question). I love personal questions, they make me think you really care about me BTW....... whats a profile anyway???

leadership527 -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 11:36:33 AM)
Heh, my 2c worth.. Experience and 2 bucks will get you a cup of coffee... in doms and subs. Knowledge is what we really care about here and knowledge can be obtained in a variety of ways for most things. And I, for one, will choose integrity over experience any day of the week. Show me a person with comitment and integrity and the knowledge is just a trivial step away. It doesn't work the other way around though.

Prinsexx -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 12:08:09 PM)
Dear RealSub That's got to be the best post I've ever read on collarme [sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif] PS You look damn good for your age.

RealSub58 -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 12:15:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Dear RealSub That's got to be the best post I've ever read on collarme [sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif][sm=skiprope.gif] PS You look damn good for your age. I was sort of nervous posting it...lest it be taken in a totally different way than you did ~~ good clean fun~~ ...so I thank you for appreciating the hard work I put into it...It was fun. You should see my pic on alt..... for an 86yr old, my ass isnt shriveled at all !! [8D] [:D]

daddysliloneds -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 1:06:08 PM)
the whole 'years of experience' crap in doms profiles makes me laugh and by reading my profile they realize i have years of experience as a submissive and a bottom as well, so, for them to know that about me, the advantage they will have, is not being stupid enough to open mouth and insert foot as if they were talking to a naive newbie.

Evility -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 2:49:13 PM)
Since a submissive would be in a largely passive position with me her experience level is not a big consideration for me... meaning that I would not necessarily choose someone with years of submission under her belt over someone without said experience.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 3:05:02 PM)
Do you all laugh at my profile then? I've put my years of active experience in the scene in my profile probably since I started.

RCdc -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 3:32:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Do you all laugh at my profile then? I've put my years of active experience in the scene in my profile probably since I started. No. But I don't count it as part of how I personally react to you, discuss with you or allow it to influence my thoughts on your words anymore than your age does. 'Years of experience' is just as pointless to me as 'Years of age'. the.dark.

CruelDesires -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 3:37:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Do you all laugh at my profile then? I've put my years of active experience in the scene in my profile probably since I started. We were all new once. I remember you when you were new in the aol chats years ago. Damn. Has it really been that long? CD

Prinsexx -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 3:50:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Do you all laugh at my profile then? As if I dare ....... and to be homest the older I get? The less likely I am to put anything about years in my profile.

oblige -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 4:17:19 PM)
Realsub, I have read thus far in this thread and your post is the one I wanna reply to. This is one of the best posts anywhere anytime, and oh so funny and true! To your last question:: BTW....... whats a profile anyway? I have met a Poly Dom and his other sub from this site, and his profile is almost empty. The only reason I perved it is cuz he was semi-local to me. Profiles are fine but certianly NOT anything to limit or base potential relationship on. Conversations and connection are what work for me. On topic: I do see a sort of double standard here and in face time life where (some) Dom's like inexpereinced subs who they may hope to mold. I also see why some subs/bottoms, (due to probable and well founded valid safety concerns) may prefer Doms/Tops with some actual hands on experience in what ever toy they are weilding.. However, how does one gain expereince either way unless someone is willing to let them try and the other is willing to try? To me, Dominance and submision vs s/m or bdsm play are two different things that get confused. Doms and subs are not always into s/m play, and Tops/bottoms who are into sensation play or s/m are not always Doms/subs... D/s requires no experience, just a willingness of one to submit and one to Dominate, and that to me it is a natural chemistry thing that happens when the right sub meets the right Dom and they then take those very human relationship risks to get to know one another. I love this whole conversation, and thanks Prinsexx for posting it. ~oblige

Missokyst -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 4:32:38 PM)
Yes it has. I remember when people used to try to get her to leave the chat rooms because she was so young. She hung in there though. LOL and freaked a lot of people out with her choices. Heh.. good times. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: CruelDesires We were all new once. I remember you when you were new in the aol chats years ago. Damn. Has it really been that long? CD

Prinsexx -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/12/2008 4:34:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: oblige D/s requires no experience, just a willingness of one to submit and one to Dominate, and that to me it is a natural chemistry thing that happens when the right sub meets the right Dom and they then take those very human relationship risks to get to know one another. I love this whole conversation, and thanks Prinsexx for posting it. ~oblige You're more than welcome. What you ssaid has made me want to chip in a bit more about the quantity versus quality issue. As to willingness/unwillingness...... I have only really felt intense emotional masochism with one other. That was part of the chemistry between us. Yes I agree to it being a fizz in a cola bottle type of chemistry. So immediately intense it was way too intense for me to subject myself to. I blamed other things for that and blamed him BUT I had never had any previous experience in emotional sado-masochism. Nothing prepared me for it. It wasn't pre-arranged. It felt like an unwillingness. i do rememebr him saying; Oh yes but you love it and i thought like how the hell does he know? on the defensive about issues which now I look back on yes, I did love it and can now recall the very moment in the emotional cycle which gave me most masochistic pleasure. That emotional dynamic I feel might never come around again no matter hiow 'experienced' another D type might be. I will transfer that experience with me for sure. I will watch for any similar emotional cycle and will have learned to accept it, treasure it even rather than be caught out by surprise and a victim of it.

virgini970 -> RE: Submissive years of experience? (6/14/2008 12:11:21 PM)
the only thing that matters is how you are together

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