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FirmhandKY -> RE: A question that's been asked millions of times... (6/13/2008 1:03:06 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TreasureKY
quote:
ORIGINAL: Aynne
... My comment was really meant to address the overall attitude of sex ,food, and generalizations that are readily seen here.
... I would not wish to be regarded solely as a dipenser of food and fucking ... and that is what I feel has been the prevailing attitude here ...
I see these comments about food and sex as a basis for what men want... the "needs", if you will. I think most men here would gladly agree that their perfect partner would be an intelligent, strong woman with the capacity to be a diverse and exciting partner (not so sure they would particularly want a challenging one [;)]). However, if this woman is incapable or unwilling to provide for his basic "needs" of food, sex, and appreciation, all the strengths and intellectual discourse she might bring to a relationship aren't going to be enough to make him happy.
Think of it this way... if someone were to ask me what I want in a car, my basic response would be that it get me from point A to point B reliably and efficiently. If a car meets those requirements, I'm happy. Now, I could be happier if the car was new, perhaps a sleek sporty model, loaded with extras and upholstered in leather. I might even say that was my idea of a perfect car and I'd be deliriously happy with it. But still, if it doesn't get me from point A to point B reliably and efficiently, it's not going to be the car for me and I won't be happy with it.
We've asked men to tell us what they want. They've not given us the details, but the simple, "bare-boned" basics. That's generally how men are when it comes to talking about women and relationships. [:D]
*whispering* Now... if you ask a man what they want in a car, or a computer, or a gun, you'll likely get an unbelievably long and totally-incomprehensible-to-the-layman answer filled with details and specifications... the more acronyms and subject specific terminology, the better. [;)]
Exactly.
The "basics" are necessary. The other things are optional, even if highly desired and prized.
Ask any man who has been through a divorce ... if he had been receiving sex, food, and appreciation ... I suspect he would still be in the marriage, regardless of whether the woman could carry on an intellectually challenging conversation or not.
Those basics (however you wish to enumerate them) are the cement that binds the core of a man to a woman.
I think many women are pre-disposed by evolution to give them ... and since our culture seems to be devaluing those very things, it is one of the reasons for the increasing interests in "alternate" lifestyles - because it's ok to ask for, even demand those things in an "alternative lifestyle".
And .. again ... compared to women, men are generally emotionally simple. Not a single male poster in this thread has disagreed in substance on the basics. One male poster said - for him - the basics weren't by themselves sufficient, but his list included what I consider the "optional and prized" aspects of a woman. He did not say the basic list was incorrect, just incomplete, for him.
The fact that it is the women posters who are trying to make this so difficult is an indication of what I've said before about the "over-thinking and over-analyzing" aspect of many human females.
Firm
PS. Treasure ... would hand me that remote, please? Oh, yeah, where's my wine? I'll be home shortly. Put on that black thingee, whydoncha? [:D][:D]
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