What Am I?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

What Am I?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What Am I?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

What Am I? - 6/11/2008 6:15:50 PM

mixedup80

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

I need help... and advice... I don't know what I am, or even what I should do.

I'm a switch.. in a way. However extreeme at both ends.
I have 2 collarme accounts. One where I am a slave, and one where I'm a Mistress.
Yes think bad of me if you will, it all happened because of my issue, and nothing has yet been solved.

I'm not a traditional switch. I cannot just switch on occasion, or day by day.

I want the best(or worst) of both worlds if you will. I love utter control.. but I love utter submission.
I enjoy being a total Mistress. I love putting a cock into chastity and teasing the guy not letting him cum for weeks on end. I love having my every wish followed and obeyed. I love many many things...

I also love being a total submissive. obeying anything and everything. Being whatever I'm told to be and submitting to everything.(NOTE for any idiots that may think this is an invitation to messages me and tell me what to do, it's NOT. I get to know the Doms FIRST before I even consider obeying them at all. let alone to this depth.)

When I first started out I created both because I was new, I didn't know what I liked, if I liked. I thought I would adore one and hate the other.
Sadly, this did not become the case...

I've considered getting involved with 2 guys, one Dom and one sub, both knowing about each other, and both knowing and accepting the total situation...
However I know that I could not be a total and complete Mistress while I'm a total and complete slave at the same time... And most Doms would not approve of many of the things I would do or want to do to or with my slave and would want to put rules and restrictions on me in that respect....

My big issue is that I want to settle down and get married and have kids sometime...
But as of yet.. I cannot be fully happy by just being one or the other.. I NEED both.

Basically.. Does this make me a Switch? And is there any way I can have or create a relationship where I could be both? Both all Domme, and all sub and no in between?
Is anyone still with me or did I confuse everyone?

any thoughts or advice or even questions or things to consider would be appreciated...

Post #: 1

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 6:23:14 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixedup80
And is there any way I can have or create a relationship where I could be both? Both all Domme, and all sub and no in between?

I'm married to an alpha Dominant male. There is no submission in him at all and I do not switch with him. I love dominating women. (I'm geared more towards women than men.) Master is perfectly happy to let me dominate others. Matter of fact, we're looking for someone that would submit to both of us. Master loves that I'm a strong, alpha female and I'm typically a very dominant personality, but with him my submission comes out. He jokes that he's tamed a lioness.

So, yes, absolutely you can find someone that will let you have both.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 2

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 6:23:20 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

I'm not a traditional switch. I cannot just switch on occasion, or day by day.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixedup80

I need help... and advice... I don't know what I am, or even what I should do.

I'm a switch.. in a way. However extreeme at both ends.
I have 2 collarme accounts. One where I am a slave, and one where I'm a Mistress.
Yes think bad of me if you will, it all happened because of my issue, and nothing has yet been solved.

I'm not a traditional switch. I cannot just switch on occasion, or day by day.

I want the best(or worst) of both worlds if you will. I love utter control.. but I love utter submission.
I enjoy being a total Mistress. I love putting a cock into chastity and teasing the guy not letting him cum for weeks on end. I love having my every wish followed and obeyed. I love many many things...

I also love being a total submissive. obeying anything and everything. Being whatever I'm told to be and submitting to everything.(NOTE for any idiots that may think this is an invitation to messages me and tell me what to do, it's NOT. I get to know the Doms FIRST before I even consider obeying them at all. let alone to this depth.)

When I first started out I created both because I was new, I didn't know what I liked, if I liked. I thought I would adore one and hate the other.
Sadly, this did not become the case...

I've considered getting involved with 2 guys, one Dom and one sub, both knowing about each other, and both knowing and accepting the total situation...
However I know that I could not be a total and complete Mistress while I'm a total and complete slave at the same time... And most Doms would not approve of many of the things I would do or want to do to or with my slave and would want to put rules and restrictions on me in that respect....

My big issue is that I want to settle down and get married and have kids sometime...
But as of yet.. I cannot be fully happy by just being one or the other.. I NEED both.

Basically.. Does this make me a Switch? And is there any way I can have or create a relationship where I could be both? Both all Domme, and all sub and no in between?
Is anyone still with me or did I confuse everyone?

any thoughts or advice or even questions or things to consider would be appreciated...

A sensation junkie maybe lol..your profile goes with switch..i'm gonna go with switch..cmon you know what you are..

(I'm not a traditional switch. I cannot just switch on occasion, or day by day. )what does this mean just for total and complete kicks.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 3

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 6:28:52 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixedup80
Basically.. Does this make me a Switch?

To me your orientation does seem to be both as a slave and as a mistress- and that's what I would call a switch.

quote:

And is there any way I can have or create a relationship where I could be both? Both all Domme, and all sub and no in between?

Yes, it's really not as rare as people think.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 4

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 6:31:29 PM

LadyPhoenixRisen

Posts: 33
Joined: 5/28/2008
Status: offline

My advice, don't worry so much about labels and be what you are.

I am a mix of all of them depending on who I am with. I am coming into my own now where I could probably fit things in somewhat of a box, but I choose not to.

I would just do what I want and be what I want with whomever I want..let the rest take care of itself.

Phoenix

_____________________________

Owner:angelpupPhoenix

Like the mighty phoenix,
Once again I rise from the flames set to destroy me & take flight.
I am Stronger; Glorious; Powerful; Victorious.

"Women are naturally dominant, just ask Adam why he ate the apple."

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 5

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 6:31:43 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Perhaps a bit ocd with an addictive personality?

(as am I)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 6:35:56 PM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

there are as many paths in this lifestyle as there are people to walk them. enjoy you feel, enjoy what you do, I would delete one of the profiles, make one as a switch and say what you are looking for. you present yourself as a sub/slave in a profile, not as a switch, you may get a Dom that does not want his girl to dominate someone else. If a Dom actually reads a switch profile he will know what he is getting into.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 7

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:10:35 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

To the OP:
Well ... hello sister! I also don't think of Myself as a traditional switch ... I function best as BOTH Domme and sub at the same time but with 2 different people. When I have both in My life I flow very smoothly from "yes Master" to "Fetch that pet!" It's virtually seamless. Friends in Perth coined the term "Duality" for Me and it seems to fit much better than switch. In play sessions I tend to work best being Dommly first and giving My sub a good workout, having a little rest and munchie break, then relaxing into being sub and playing with Master. After that I am one very happy girl mmmmmmmm.

So far I have been a Mistress with a sub and no Master ... didn't work for Me. At the moment i am a devoted sub with a wonderful Master looking for a sub or slave of My own. Master totally understands that desire and need, and is very supportive of My search. The reason it didn't work before when I had both was that the "sub" I had wasn't really a sub, more of a fetishist cross-dresser, he and I wouldn't have worked out even if Master hadn't come on the scene. I don't think it is impossible to find 2 men who could cope with the situation, and I am looking for both to be 24/7 live in ie a poly family.

As to your Master having control over how you Domme ... well that would have to be something you negotiate from the start and then see how it evolves. At first, Master and Jay (My Domme side) were co-equals and that was not submitted to Him. However over time, Jay has come to realise that He would not interfere but that His advice is invaluable and has now voluntarily submitted Her activities to Him. Since Jay shares a physical body with violet (my sub side) ... His main interest is in the frequency of orgasms (and He is pretty generous!). He would speak up if He thought I was doing something unintentionally harmful to My sub/slave but would probably leave the ultimate decision on that to Me with an "on Your own head be it then". It would be up to you as to how you negotiate that but again, I don't think it would be impossible to find that situation.

Worry less about the labels and negativity ... work towards making what you want happen!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Edited to add: With regard to profiles, if you are looking for both partners, then a switch profile would be more appropriate. I only have a Dominant profile as my sub side already has a Master and i've no wish to deal with lots of Dominants contacting me ... I am here to look for a sub and My profile makes it very clear what My situation is.

< Message edited by MaamJay -- 6/11/2008 7:12:49 PM >

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 8

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:11:31 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Everyone has different relationships.. I'm a switch, but cannot top people who have already topped me. Likewise, if I have topped someone before, I can't take them seriously when they try to top me. I have three people in my personal life that I play with...

R is my Top
C is... more vanilla, but I'm rapidly corrupting him into a wonderful dominant
S submits to me.

Best part about it... they all know each other, although they don't get involved, and everyone is perfectly happy. I suppose it's kind of what you are looking for, anything is possible.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 9

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:28:30 PM

mixedup80

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I'm married to an alpha Dominant male. There is no submission in him at all and I do not switch with him. I love dominating women. (I'm geared more towards women than men.) Master is perfectly happy to let me dominate others. Matter of fact, we're looking for someone that would submit to both of us. Master loves that I'm a strong, alpha female and I'm typically a very dominant personality, but with him my submission comes out. He jokes that he's tamed a lioness.

So, yes, absolutely you can find someone that will let you have both.

Yes but I enjoy Domming guys much more than women. Most Doms that I see would not mind me Domming a woman, in fact it seems that is what they all want. But what about a guy?
Would they have an issue if I wanted to do sexual things with this guy? Every Dom I have ever talked to would either not allow it, nor have an issue with it.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 10

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:35:29 PM

mixedup80

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

there are as many paths in this lifestyle as there are people to walk them. enjoy you feel, enjoy what you do, I would delete one of the profiles, make one as a switch and say what you are looking for. you present yourself as a sub/slave in a profile, not as a switch, you may get a Dom that does not want his girl to dominate someone else. If a Dom actually reads a switch profile he will know what he is getting into.

Thank you to all... I don't really believe that the way I am is called a switch though. Because I'm extreme to one side or the other. There is no in between and no power exchange involved.
In fact I find it difficult to think that I would match well with another switch.. as my partner would have to be all one way or all the other.. and with a switch he'd have to be both, yet I have yet to meet any like that and I worry about conflicts....
your thoughts are making me consider things though in a way I hadn't considered...

If a Dom actually reads? lol good one. I don't think many guys in general don't know how to do that from my observations here... And a handful of women and couples as well...

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 11

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:43:19 PM

mixedup80

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

To the OP:
Well ... hello sister! I also don't think of Myself as a traditional switch ... I function best as BOTH Domme and sub at the same time but with 2 different people. When I have both in My life I flow very smoothly from "yes Master" to "Fetch that pet!" It's virtually seamless. Friends in Perth coined the term "Duality" for Me and it seems to fit much better than switch. In play sessions I tend to work best being Dommly first and giving My sub a good workout, having a little rest and munchie break, then relaxing into being sub and playing with Master. After that I am one very happy girl mmmmmmmm.

WOW. that is perfect. I think that is the best term to call it Duality. :) I like it too.

You are lucky... My issue is that I'm not 100% sure how things might work out.
Maybe as a poly live in situation would be best. The thing is, I know few guys who would enjoy such a set up. And more than a few would "agree" to it just to get me to help get their rocks off, but deep down have an issue.

but maybe it would be for the best... :) thank you everyone. i need to think lots about this, but I now consider myself to be a Duality. A much more perfect term than a plain switch. Much more fitting as well. :)

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 12

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:47:55 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Yw ... I don't mind sharing the term

And maybe the Doms you have spoken to up till now, you haven't been able to explain sufficiently well what you need? Or maybe you've not been attracting the right types? There are any number of poly families where the people become fluid-bonded and accept that there some members of the family have more than one sexual partner. The key is openness.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 13

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:54:18 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Yes, you are a switch. It seems that it's actually pretty common for women to be a sub/slave and also to be a Mistress. I don't think it's quite as common for men to have both relationships at the same time. It is fairly uncommon to have a relationship in which you each engage in both sides of the D/s coin, just switching sides as it suits you both, but they do exist. I would say that you have it fairly well figured out and have a pretty good idea of what you want on both sides. Just be open and up front with whoever you get involved with and all should be well.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 14

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:54:46 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixedup80

Yes but I enjoy Domming guys much more than women. Most Doms that I see would not mind me Domming a woman, in fact it seems that is what they all want. But what about a guy?
Would they have an issue if I wanted to do sexual things with this guy? Every Dom I have ever talked to would either not allow it, nor have an issue with it.

Eep, that's no good. Just hold on until you can find a couple of amazing guys, who are mature enough to know that they don't NEED to be jealous and clingy, because you get something entirely different from each of them.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 15

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:55:17 PM

CruelDesires

Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixedup80

quote:

I'm married to an alpha Dominant male. There is no submission in him at all and I do not switch with him. I love dominating women. (I'm geared more towards women than men.) Master is perfectly happy to let me dominate others. Matter of fact, we're looking for someone that would submit to both of us. Master loves that I'm a strong, alpha female and I'm typically a very dominant personality, but with him my submission comes out. He jokes that he's tamed a lioness.

So, yes, absolutely you can find someone that will let you have both.

Yes but I enjoy Domming guys much more than women. Most Doms that I see would not mind me Domming a woman, in fact it seems that is what they all want. But what about a guy?
Would they have an issue if I wanted to do sexual things with this guy? Every Dom I have ever talked to would either not allow it, nor have an issue with it.

Sounds like a polyamorous relationship is what you need. Maybe with a poly male D who plays with others too?

Edit> Im too damn slow for these forums. lol.

CD

< Message edited by CruelDesires -- 6/11/2008 7:56:33 PM >

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 16

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 7:56:59 PM

SummerWind

Posts: 314
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline

I'm pretty sure you're Irish.....

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 17

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 8:05:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Many switches also tend to prefer the term "versatile"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SummerWind)

Post #: 18

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 8:12:15 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixedup80

quote:

I'm married to an alpha Dominant male. There is no submission in him at all and I do not switch with him. I love dominating women. (I'm geared more towards women than men.) Master is perfectly happy to let me dominate others. Matter of fact, we're looking for someone that would submit to both of us. Master loves that I'm a strong, alpha female and I'm typically a very dominant personality, but with him my submission comes out. He jokes that he's tamed a lioness.

So, yes, absolutely you can find someone that will let you have both.

Yes but I enjoy Domming guys much more than women. Most Doms that I see would not mind me Domming a woman, in fact it seems that is what they all want. But what about a guy?
Would they have an issue if I wanted to do sexual things with this guy? Every Dom I have ever talked to would either not allow it, nor have an issue with it.

Actually, most of the guys I know wouldn't care about male sub as long as it was integrated with their relationship with you. In other words, they would answer to Dom as well. My male Dom friends wouldn't want to be sexual with a male sub, but definitely would accept their service.

I think where a lot of the Dom males have issues is when it comes to relationship that they aren't involved and can't see what goes on.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mixedup80)

Post #: 19

RE: What Am I? - 6/11/2008 8:14:43 PM

virgini970

Posts: 142
Joined: 5/28/2008
Status: offline

I have been a slave and loved most of it but noe , I have a sub and love that now i am a switch and some time he tops me and it's just when i need it i love him for that

(in reply to SummerWind)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What Am I?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109