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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/12/2008 9:16:08 PM

Masque66

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Her reaction is of most interest to me. I'm not a heavy sadist but I enjoy seeing her writhe and moan. I don't have much interest in seeing her cry, though. Not unless they're tears of joy.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/12/2008 9:52:51 PM

ladycirce

Posts: 61
Joined: 3/21/2006
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i only started topping because i realized so many people were begging for it. i love it, don't get me wrong, it just took many years for me to realize i ought to be doing it, that it could be (almost) socially acceptable.
from as early as the first grade i recall finding people that were just cruisin for a brusin, and i was happy to give it to them.
this would usually result in discipline i was not wanting or willing to take, so i would curb the urge.
anyway, my main purpose in life is to alleviate suffering, so i really only dish it out if that is what the subject wants. i do not enjoy inflicting any type of pain without the desire initiating from the subject.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/12/2008 9:54:34 PM

ladycirce

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

The Children Will Not Go To Bed Without Their Beatings - Bill Cosby [7:05-0:00, counter runs backwards]

i love the obey part as well!

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/12/2008 9:56:11 PM

LadyPact

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I'm going to answer this before reading the other replies.

The honest truth, sodsta, is I don't know. I don't know where it came from. I just know that it has been here these past couple of years. I wasn't a sadist at all in My first go round, but here today, I find it My calling.

Yes, My true passion is for a masochist who matches Me. I get to explore with them further. There is something wonderful in someone who wants to explore with Me. Push boundries. See how far we can go. Take things to the very edge, and go just a bit further. I would put My finger on it for you, if I could, but I am still chasing that elusive answer Myself.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/12/2008 10:01:15 PM

MasterFireMaam

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I'm not sure that my sadism comes from the same place as my Dominance, since I don't HAVE to have SM in order to have a Ds or Ms relationship, just like I don't HAVE to have sex. They're both nice, but separate.

As far as what I like, I find that those who like pain can usually take more, which makes me happy. It's not always true and that's not my final decision as to whether I play with them or not.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/12/2008 10:57:56 PM

Owner4SexSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

....I did identify with Whippy's descriptions of different types of sadist ... I can see Myself at times in all but "Kick the Dog" and "Eye for an Eye" modes. But then, I'd never kick a dog LOL ... they might bite Me! ... and I don't like brats so that's not gonna happen. But I definitely see Myself clearly in Entertainment and Pleasure Top modes. Well thought out Whippy! (And a welcome return to that nick too, I like it much better than the other).

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

Thanks Maam Jay, I never kick the dog either. Ironic she came from the Animal Shelter, and in fact I'm pretty certain she was seriously abused by some asshole. It's taken a couple of years of work to get her to where she is at today. Lots and lots of love and work. Ironic for somebody who has a "kick the Dog" sadist mode eh? What a paradox! Then again, BDSM is full of Paradox and Oxymorons. No wonder we so misunderstood by the vanillas (wait non-lifestylers), wait I meant to say by some people not in the lifestyle. I have to becareful of those trigger words now days, never know what direction a thread is going to turn into these days. Crap, I'd better knock it off before I cause a riot or a flame war to happen.

A year ago today, if somebody would have asked me what is the source of my sadistic side, I would have been sitting there lost for the words. I know some time last year, I was posting about my own confusion regarding it. I was trying to sum the complex up into something nice and neat and simple.

There's so many things I have been doing over the years, that frankly I never took the time out to mind fuck myself to death thinking about it all. Just accepted it for what it was and kept in control of it. There a big difference between flogging somebody while listening to Enigma vs. Marylin Mason. Pink floyd is good for mind fuck mental highs with that whole twisted insanity vibe. Personally, I know I'm rather diverse. It's difficult for me to sum myself up in simple terms on a profile. Screw it, I'm keeping Owner4SexSlave.. Gearing that towards M/s. Whiplashsmile2 is for anything and everything else.

A good friend of mine from back in high school days used to poke fun at me, saying that I come with sub-titles. Why change now?

I love this thread, it's rather refreshing.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/13/2008 4:46:23 AM

MsLemon

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Being a sadist is part of who I am just like being a dominant. Not sure I know where it comes from as its always been there. Can remember events as a kid where clearly my sadistic/evil enjoyment streak was showing. My sadistic pleasure can come in various forms and not all of them are physical but I do so enjoy the physical. Mostly what it comes down to is the energy exchange while I'm interacting with my partner(s) and like any adreneline junkie this rush that comes turns me on and makes me want more. This would probably be why when I play for the most part I prefer someone who identifies as a masochist so that they are getting the same sort of rush from what I'm giving and that energy loop just ramps up to an amazing place. Probably this would be the cause for my feeling like a truck hit me the day after I've had some really hot play because basically I put it all out and took it all away from them and then it crashes. Its the addiction to that feeling that keeps me wanting more and more.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/13/2008 4:58:30 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I'm a reaction junkie. So are most Sadists. Doesn't have to be about pain, or even physical.

Where does it come from? Why is water wet?

Bingo... I am not a sadist in the manner many think about it... simply dishing out pain does little for Me, the reactions make all the difference. If she is a Maso I will get one set of reactions, if she isn't I will get a different set of reactions. Both sets of reactions are enjoyable.... plus, as Leatherist states, I don't have to lay a finger on her to play with her reactions.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/13/2008 5:32:32 AM

Viridana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta..
Sadists... where does your sadism come from? More specifically: When you play with someone, be they a sub, a bottom, a friend, a partner, etc... what are you looking for from them in regards to your sadism?

I'm a masochist myself as well so I know how I respond to pain and the satisfaction it brings. The feeling of being able to give somebody else the same is very rewarding and I am intrigued by the theoretics of pain and reaction in general.

quote:

For example - do you prefer a sub/bottom who is a masochist and actually enjoys the pain?

I would never enjoy inflicting pain on somebody who'd dislike it. It borders on non-consensuality for me.

quote:

Who gets off on receiving what you dish out?

Both parties.

quote:

Does it excite you more if your sub/bottom is NOT a masochist, but they are taking the pain because they know it makes you happy to give it?

No. I have no reason what so ever in doing s/m scenes on somebody that isn't enjoying or craving the exact s/m that is given.

quote:

Does your sadism come from the same place as your dominance in that respect?

I'm not a dominant.

quote:

Is giving pain another way for you to exert control and power over a person, or does the desire to inflict pain come from somewhere else entirely?

I don't do d/s, whether it is me that is receiving the pain or giving it. I just enjoy the physiological science and art of pain, the responce and the flow of adrenaline to achieve whatever headspace that I or my partner seeks.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/13/2008 8:19:37 AM

IvyMorgan

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I don't identify as dominant, so my sadistic streak doesn't come from there. It also changes depending on my personality, some being more sadistic than others.

I don't know where it comes from, not really.

I like the reaction from the other person, I like the wriggles and yelps and moans and squirms and all the other fun things. I like the fear, sometimes. I like the quiet little broken voice that asks for reassurance that it's not going to be *that*. I like people being absolutly still when all they want to do is pull away.

I only like this when they like it too. So, masochists only.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/13/2008 11:59:49 AM

MissMorrigan

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It's an interesting question, Sodsta. I have always been sadistic, I grew up devising war games where I'd be chief interrogator/torturer and often in trouble as a result, but I never considered it had a sexual connection with me until many years into adulthood. I had identified formerly as a bedroom bottom and masochistic, yet still got off on full contact sparring especially when I could gain the upperhand and take it up a level. I still never made that connection until someone suggested topping which, inadvertently, I had been doing in any case but without realising it.

The person that suggested it was not submissive, but a masochistic dom. It was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life.

It provided clarity, and still does.

Finally I had discovered other people who consensually offered themselves to me for my pleasure - one of my greatest pleasures is derived from hurting people. I frequently do not want Reality to gain direct enjoyment, that would detract from my own and I have to take him far beyond his comfort zone to where the sensations he experiences are keener and sharper.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/14/2008 9:38:59 AM

virgini970

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it realy all depends on who i am playing with and for me i like the fact that they can hurt me but want it's like now i have a sub he has shouwed me he can hurt me but i don't trust him not to it's realy all about trust

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/14/2008 3:35:01 PM

blackbeard519

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A therapist I once had asserted that my sadism was brought on by a need to share the suffering I endured as a child.

It doesn't matter what causes it really. The kick for me is that my partner suffers *for me*.

It's a power thing.

< Message edited by blackbeard519 -- 6/14/2008 3:37:47 PM >

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/14/2008 4:31:51 PM

MidMichCowboy

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Wow, deep question. I've had to think about it overnight. It's not so much that I want them to hurt. I find a fulfillment in enjoying the power of using pain and pleasure on a person until they can't tell the difference and it all becomes pleasure for them. The idea of so controlling their mind, they can't tell if I'm hurting them or pleasuring them and they don't care, they just want me to continue.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/14/2008 5:10:58 PM

Stusmobile

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Where does my sadism come from, two distinct spots if I really think about it.

My lack of physical sadism, I don't need extreme pain in a sub to get the reactions I'm looking from, the physical is actually a tiny part of me. That definitely comes from being a big guy, having to play nice with the other kids because I'd hurt them ... that is a barrier it's taken years to break down.

The pleasure part of pain comes from playing football (US style),rugby, martial arts, that release of pent up aggression and knowing it's ok to want to smash someone in the mouth, make them bleed, intimidate them ..... and self inflict pain too, blood pouring from a broken nose, playing with broken bones, knocking somebody unconscious. It also ties in tightly with me mentally, to see the look in someones eyes when they know that no matter what shape I'm in that I can and will inflict more pain on them, that look of bewilderment as they wonder just how far it can go. Even today in play I am very careful of my physicalness ...... inflicting real pain instead of erotic pain is not what I want, not what I desire or need.

My mental sadism comes from those teen years again, developing a way with words that can cause intense reactions. Learning that most women prefer a sense of humour rather than a big wallet, and going further, using words and thoughts to show them other things too. Discovering that some people like that fear, crave the loss of control ... and using it to get things that pleased or appealed to me.

The mental sadism is me, fits me like a glove ..... watching someone who has a hint of fear in their eyes, their breathing getting shallower as their brain processes what I just said. That hits me in the head and intensifies every single sense, being sat across the room and being able to smell a reaction to a word, a gesture. Seeing the flush of skin, the rising colour around somebody's neck and cheeks ... even the spots of colour at the tip of somebody's ear. Hearing the change in breath, the sharp scared intakes, the softer ones that signal a little wetness beginning .... oh yum.With just a smile, a laugh and time, having somebody beg to know what you're thinking, planning .... and playing with them, teasing them, sometimes letting them off the hook, sometimes not.

The mental does tie into my dominance, the physical doesn't ... the physical is to intensify the mental aspects, to prolong or push in certain directions. The mental is the control, the dominant part of me and therefore the bit that comes out a lot more.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/14/2008 6:37:50 PM

wanderingstray

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I had a bad experience at a Sadie Hawkins dance. Ever since then...I'n been a Hawkinist.

Ooo, surprise twist endeing!

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/18/2008 9:09:39 PM

MrRandallspe

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I consider myself to be a sadist.
I do enjoy pushing the level of pain a sub/slave can handle then ease off of that edge just enough to make them want and beg for more. It is like a thrill ride,,push that edge and hold back just enough to make them crave more. As they get used to that level,push it a bit more,,make them want and crave more for that level of excitment.
Slight bruises and welts are with-in my self limits,,broken skin is going over my self limits.

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/18/2008 10:00:18 PM

DarkVictory

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Where does my sadism come from? My brain. No brain, no sadism.

"what are you looking for from them in regards to your sadism?"

That really depends. I find that it's a wide open arena of demand and expectation, that varies from day to day and from partner to partner.

At one extreme, I'm the kind of 'Top' that can service a bottom's desire for extended foreplay and sensual play that very gradually moves from light spanking, tickling, and digital fingering into a soft and sustained spanking, and from there into a long buildup to a hard ass whupping. This end of the spectrum is me being a service top, and what I'm in that interation for is the approval and gracious appreciation of the bottom. I'm doing it, not for my sadistic desires, but to provide my partner with a good evening. It's much like watching a chick flick.

Somewhere in the middle range is where I can begin to let a tiny bit of the demon out to play, within a tightly confined and negotiated 'scene' or defined arena of play. This is where I am free to be cruel and hurtful to the bottom, but there's nothing about the scene that transcends her momentary ability to process. I can see her suffer, I can enjoy that suffering, but in the end I am clear that I need to make certain that she's feeling safe and cared for.

Towards the left side, the dark side of my sadism, I am playing with a partner who is not a masochist. She's there to suffer for me, not because she's going to process it into pleasure, but because ... for whatever fucked up sick bitch reason she has ... she wants to be hurt and suffering. With that kind of partner, I'm free to be dark. I'm free to laugh at her pain, mock her agony, and allow myself to be genuinely and physically aroused by her torment.

Near the far dark side, I am playing with a submissive and not a bottom. She's only there becuase I desire it. She's terrified and near panicky with what's happening. She's free to scream her fear, and I'm not going to stop. I can really let myself loose, threatening her, scaring her.... Using chain not rope, making it so she *actually* cannot escape at all... putting her in hideously uncomfortable positions, bent forward leaning on an iron railing, chained in place... driving sharpened stainless steel knitting needles through her outer labia, pinning her to the spanking pony by her cunt... burning chinese joss herbs on the ends of the needles, and threatening her with the cattle prod to the anus if she disturbs the burning herbs by moving as I begin to sodomize her. Then, of course... using the cattle prod on her anyway... laughing as she screams and sobs. Forcing her jaws open with the dental gag, and throat raping her... intentionally taking her to the edge of passing out again and again as she pukes and screams.

What do I want from *that* kind of partner? I want her soul.

(edited ...)

I'm on the phone with softness, and she rightly points out that this last example is not my evil side. It's still within bounds. What, as a sadist I *want* to do is have a blindfolded, gagged, beautiful, successful, intelligent woman flopping around on my floor with two dislocated arms/shoulders, the webs of her toes nailgunned to the floor... as I sexually torment and abuse the living fuck out of her. The details are best left to the imagination.

Also, soft's not in use with me as a bottom, but as a submissive... so you puzzle it out.

< Message edited by DarkVictory -- 6/18/2008 10:41:03 PM >

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/18/2008 10:43:51 PM

softness

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thinks sometimes I should really just keep quiet and look pretty on cam ...

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RE: A Question for Sadists - 6/18/2008 11:00:18 PM

darkpassenger434

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I can't say where it comes from, but to answer an aspect of your question, I do require that the bottom enjoy it, almost to a fault. Any old monster can find a victim after all.
-R

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