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ORIGINAL: darkpassenger434

I can't say where it comes from, but to answer an aspect of your question, I do require that the bottom enjoy it, almost to a fault. Any old monster can find a victim after all.
-R

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ORIGINAL: darkpassenger434

Not to mention all the legwork in getting rid of evidence. Have you seen "Forensic Files"? Those guys are good. Don't even get me started on missing all your favorite shows because the voices in your head won't let you stop watching "Taxi Driver" and "American Psycho" over and over again.
-R

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ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

Where does my sadism come from?  My brain.  No brain, no sadism.


"what are you looking for from them in regards to your sadism?"

That really depends.  I find that it's a wide open arena of demand and expectation, that varies from day to day and from partner to partner.

At one extreme, I'm the kind of 'Top' that can service a bottom's desire for extended foreplay and sensual play that very gradually moves from light spanking, tickling, and digital fingering into a soft and sustained spanking, and from there into a long buildup to a hard ass whupping.  This end of the spectrum is me being a service top, and what I'm in that interation for is the approval and gracious appreciation of the bottom.  I'm doing it, not for my sadistic desires, but to provide my partner with a good evening.  It's much like watching a chick flick.

Somewhere in the middle range is where I can begin to let a tiny bit of the demon out to play, within a tightly confined and negotiated 'scene' or defined arena of play.  This is where I am free to be cruel and hurtful to the bottom, but there's nothing about the scene that transcends her momentary ability to process.  I can see her suffer, I can enjoy that suffering, but in the end I am clear that I need to make certain that she's feeling safe and cared for.

Towards the left side, the dark side of my sadism, I am playing with a partner who is not a masochist.  She's there to suffer for me, not because she's going to process it into pleasure, but because ... for whatever fucked up sick bitch reason she has ... she wants to be hurt and suffering.  With that kind of partner, I'm free to be dark.  I'm free to laugh at her pain, mock her agony, and allow myself to be genuinely and physically aroused by her torment. 

Near the far dark side, I am playing with a submissive and not a bottom.  She's only there becuase I desire it.  She's terrified and near panicky with what's happening.  She's free to scream her fear, and I'm not going to stop.  I can really let myself loose, threatening her, scaring her....  Using chain not rope, making it so she *actually* cannot escape at all... putting her in hideously uncomfortable positions, bent forward leaning on an iron railing, chained in place... driving sharpened stainless steel knitting needles through her outer labia, pinning her to the spanking pony by her cunt... burning chinese joss herbs on the ends of the needles, and threatening her with the cattle prod to the anus if she disturbs the burning herbs by moving as I begin to sodomize her.  Then, of course... using the cattle prod on her anyway... laughing as she screams and sobs.  Forcing her jaws open with the dental gag, and throat raping her... intentionally taking her to the edge of passing out again and again as she pukes and screams.

What do I want from *that* kind of partner?  I want her soul.

(edited ...)

I'm on the phone with softness, and she rightly points out that this last example is not my evil side.  It's still within bounds.  What, as a sadist I *want* to do is have a blindfolded, gagged, beautiful, successful, intelligent woman flopping around on my floor with two dislocated arms/shoulders, the webs of her toes nailgunned to the floor... as I sexually torment and abuse the living fuck out of her.  The details are best left to the imagination. 

Also, soft's not in use with me as a bottom, but as a submissive... so you puzzle it out.

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ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Wow... You are one sick puppy dude..

(pssst..softness... Have you emailed Michael about that procurement matter?.)

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ORIGINAL: sodsta

Or do you prefer a little more reluctance? Does it excite you more if your sub/bottom is NOT a masochist, but they are taking the pain because they know it makes you happy to give it?

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ORIGINAL: sodsta
Does your sadism come from the same place as your dominance in that respect? Is giving pain another way for you to exert control and power over a person

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I'm a reaction junkie. So are most Sadists. Doesn't have to be about pain, or even physical.
 

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ORIGINAL: blackbeard519

A therapist I once had asserted that my sadism was brought on by a need to share the suffering I endured as a child.

It doesn't matter what causes it really.  The kick for me is that my partner suffers *for me*.

It's a power thing.

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The kick for me is that my partner suffers *for me*.

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ORIGINAL: sodsta

After getting quite a mixed response from friends, I thought I'd ask here...

Sadists... where does your sadism come from? More specifically: When you play with someone, be they a sub, a bottom, a friend, a partner, etc... what are you looking for from them in regards to your sadism?

For example - do you prefer a sub/bottom who is a masochist and actually enjoys the pain? Who gets off on receiving what you dish out? Or do you prefer a little more reluctance? Does it excite you more if your sub/bottom is NOT a masochist, but they are taking the pain because they know it makes you happy to give it?

Does your sadism come from the same place as your dominance in that respect? Is giving pain another way for you to exert control and power over a person, or does the desire to inflict pain come from somewhere else entirely? All input is greatly appreciated. :)