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Griswold -> I found the AntiChrist today (you can all stop looking).... (6/12/2008 6:18:52 PM)
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I had to go to the East Coast last week, landed, settled in...read the paper, started to feel like I'd somehow garnered a cavity (and I never get cavities), and went to bed.
Bad movies, no matter what channel I turned to, I'd seen them before...some tea sounded good...I went to sleep.
Woke up several times, not unusual...called room service....warm milk...off and running...back to sleep, not exactly like a storybook...but it was indeed sleep.
Morning; Not so good. Not altogether painful but discomforting. Unusual because I see the dentist every 6 months whether or not my brakes seem a little screechy....a little odd nonetheless. Pain.
Go to my gig that day, do my thing....I'm downing Ibuprofen every 3 hours (never taken it before)...helping a little, not quite at the point of strangling small children....looking out for goats and small rodents to kill...hard to find in a hotel.....considering lesser desk help....that night...it explodes.
Huuuuuuge pain. Like a truck had run over my toungue...or legs...if in fact they were centered in my mouth...on the right side....lower....godammit....KILL ME!!!!!!!!!
(Please).
Now.
Like someone had taken a baseball bat to my face. And then dragged me behind a threshing machine for approx. 6 months with no pain killers.
On asphalt.
In the hot sun.
After I'd been beaten to death by 3 very large 6' 7" men who were determined at the very begining to kill me.
I email to my regular (MD) doctor...."Bud...I need something very strong waiting for me when I land in Seattle....have it waiting for me"...that was midnight.
By 3:00 a.m., I'm ready to kill someone.
(Actually, the truth is...I was ready to torch the hotel...sadly after some discovery, I determined it was all concrete).
I recall telling the girl when I arrived, as she asked me "so you've reserved a smoking room?", whereupon I informed her..."I'm a smoker. I'd actually prefer that everyone who's staying here this weekend that smokes....would come in my room and smoke with me. I'd like lighters at all 4 corners of my bed. If you could arrange for smokers who are NOT staying here to come to my room and respectfully knock at my door and say 'Gris...I'd like to smoke...is there any oxygen yet left in your room? I have some friends you know...they're smokers....care to have an ensemble?"....
I'd be good with that.
And now, I was in pain. (See above if you're missing the concept here).
Now I was thinking of revising my rez....to include all those people who had Vicodins, Heroin, a baseball bat, a very good attorney who could cover wills, and of course...Percodans.
And so, several days later (thanks to my local doc who had a very nice package of {presecribed....thank you CM who will likely remove this post due to discussions about drugs....which were all prescribed by a licensed doctor), I saw my dentist...who said...."you need a root canal....something bad happened with that cap I did some years back...and now you're in deep doo doo".
And so I was.
So I went to this (other) dentist...recommended by my dentist...because of course, now, dentists only do what they do....(when I was a kid, they all did everything)....so, now I go to the AntiChrist.
Now I have to tell you honestly...I've never seen this much tech.
She had every kind of tech there was...and is...little microscopes to look at your teeth. She's not even looking in your damn mouth. The microscope is at 90 degrees to my tooth.
She ain't.
She's looking in the little binoculors (sp?)...and she's drilling away at me at an obverse angle...and it's all on the monitor (and yes, you can have a CD of it later if you want....I didn't).
So anyway...she says to me...."(Gris), we're going to have to drill a little deeper....you have unusually dense bone"...I thought to myself...."only God hands those kinds of lines to a straight man" and I said "It appears my reputation preceeds me"....she laughed...then they gassed me up....
About 90% of the way through, she takes her drill out and says "your roots are exceptionally long" and of course, I replied...."you aren't the first to say that".
Anyway....now my teeth hurt like hell...and I'm going to blame her.
She is the AntiChrist...and I was there to see it all.
Trust me...she is he...and we're all fucked now.
(Another day in the life of Gris).
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