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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/14/2008 9:09:25 AM

pinksugarsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sheladaris

What are some of the first things to Consider when bringing a 24/7 into your home? Some of the common faults when you bring in a 24/7? Should you focus more on Service or the D/s aspect of it.? And what should a Master focus on bringing someone into it? And what if this is your first Live in sub

Seems to me i once posted about this subject. Lemme see if i can find it:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_191964/mpage_1/key_BDSM%252CCouples/tm.htm#191964

It isn't written specifically for a newly-formed D/s couple, but s'thing in it might be helpful.

Congratulations and best wishes for many happy years together!

pinksugarsub

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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/14/2008 11:15:30 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sheladaris

What are some of the first things to Consider when bringing a 24/7 into your home? Some of the common faults when you bring in a 24/7? Should you focus more on Service or the D/s aspect of it.? And what should a Master focus on bringing someone into it? And what if this is your first Live in sub

Some things to consider:

Where the toothbrushes go, are you willing to share a hairbrush, how to organize the kitchen so that everyone can find and reach everything, are you willing to do any of the chores and make sure you do the chores that you agreed to do. It's not fun to be the owned party going "Erm... Sir.... you said you would do this but the trash is starting to pile up really badly... ".

It may seem to "vanilla" but people living together are going have some "vanilla" things to deal with as well. Service isn't going to be all that great if the owned person can't reach whatever you want or can't find it (unless you want that to happen).

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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/14/2008 3:09:09 PM

cantilena

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Over. There is no other way. Period.

CD

Guess what?! We're compatible.

When do I move in?

< Message edited by cantilena -- 6/14/2008 3:10:08 PM >

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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/14/2008 3:38:48 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Over. There is no other way. Period.

CD

Is this a guy thing? Because he thinks it ought to be over and I want it under so that in the middle of the night I don;t have to turn on a light to find it. It unrolls easier by itself if under. Besides unroll = under, it isn't overroll.

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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/14/2008 5:48:34 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Over. There is no other way. Period.

CD

I agree! I usually have a logcial reason to do EVERYthing. My logical reason for the toiletpaper going over? It's harder for the cats to snag it and pull all of it off the roll.

Master Fire

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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/15/2008 4:12:25 AM

eyesopened

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From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Over. There is no other way. Period.

CD

Is this a guy thing? Because he thinks it ought to be over and I want it under so that in the middle of the night I don;t have to turn on a light to find it. It unrolls easier by itself if under. Besides unroll = under, it isn't overroll.

Can't be a guy thing because i believe that it should be over and that there is no other way. i will admit to being so rude as to change the toilet paper roll direction in my daughter's house because i figure i raised her better than that lol.

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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/15/2008 12:15:42 PM

jstmi

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my thoughts on 24/7 are this,,
one must know the person inside and out before a move in, even more then you would know a vanilla girlfriend( in my case because i am lesbian). there should be an understanding as to living arrangements and what each of the responsibilities are. there is enough pressure of a relationship to work living together then to add the d/s on top of that, it is much to ask of two people. i know if it ever happens again to me to live with someone 24/7 it will have to be a 50/50 agreement as far as the financial end of things, which may sound rather blunt but it is important that if i make that decision to move to someone's home or vice versa it has to be this way. unless my Dominant insists i stay home to keep Her home. i personally love my job and am ambitious, i really hope She is the same way. my off time is Her time and having this cloud over our heads will make serving Her or Her being my Dominant very difficult. another one of my needs is a person who is a non - smoker and someone who is desease free. it is a reasonable request for me to insist She takes good care of Herself so i may take good care of Her. maybe i set my sights too high, so be it, i am not looking for perfection, just someone willing to take responsibility for Herself, has health insurance and has means to an income for us to be partners. this is surely off topic but i felt the need to express my opinion.

good luck with the thoughts of 24/7.
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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/16/2008 4:17:32 AM

MasterHermes

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Some of the common faults? Thinking its going to be easier than nilla relationships because you are dominant. Wrong, it will be all nilla plus Dom/sub dynamics. So unless you intend to keep her in basement 24/7 , this is something you should consider. Thinking because she was serving you before she moves in, she knows everything she needs to know. Wrong, if you have a history together she might know you but she doesn't know how to live together with you. Thinking because she is great in sex and kinks she can be a good 24/7 partner. Wrong, your compatibility in sex and kinks dont have much to do with it, you need to look at it from a different point of view. Thinking maintaining D/s relationship in 24/7 same as maintaining it before starting to live together. Wrong, once she starts living in she will see you tired, she will see you sick, she will see you down, she will see you in all kind of situations and shapes and you will see her in same situations. This is never the easy part but even harder for a D/s relationships because it is not just an image you create in her mind anymore. She will see you, real you and you two will make sure your D/s relationship can stay alive in these situations.

Its a great experience, you will learn a lot from it, but dont forget its everything about nilla, plus a very trusting and strong [bounded] D/s relationship. Looking at it as something less is a common fault.

Good Luck
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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/16/2008 5:30:43 AM

HalloweenWhite

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This made Me laugh because I'm an "over" person, if for some reason I put it the wrong way, I take it off and do it again. Was that too much info, I wonder...

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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/16/2008 6:34:19 AM

robertolapiedra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sheladaris

What are some of the first things to Consider when bringing a 24/7 into your home? Some of the common faults when you bring in a 24/7? Should you focus more on Service or the D/s aspect of it.? And what should a Master focus on bringing someone into it? And what if this is your first Live in sub

Hello Sheladaris. Common faults in 24/7? Ok...first in line is speed, like too fast, go slow. It is better to deal with a too slow problem than a too fast problem (damage control).

Second is intensity, bring it down a lot. It is not 24/7 ''sceening'' or play. You do not play at ''day to day'' life. Better to deal with a not intense enough problem than a too intense problem (damage control).

Third, (but for me it is first and foremost) it has to be fun. If it is not fun, it will eventually become the opposite of ''fun'' (no control possible in this kind of hell). Think of this before you go overboard with the ''service'' thingie and try not to set up your sub to fail. Build on success not on failures. Forget about ''your'' fantasy mindset and take this seriously in a real world context. Try to see things from the point of view of your sub before you try new stuff out and try to not take yourself too seriously in the ''uber'' department.

Recap: Baby steps, low intensity and humour in day to day stuff. When playing or sceening? make it intimate and special for the two of you. Always remember that in 24/7 you should take your time in making adjustments because you have ''all'' the time needed to do things properly.

I am saying this thinking that you already have the communications skills and the maturity necessary to be in such a relationship in the first place. All the luck to you and your sub. RL.

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RE: 24/7 live in questions - 6/16/2008 7:03:50 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sheladaris

Should you focus more on Service or the D/s aspect of it.?

What makes you think that service isn't D/s?

D/s is dominance and submission. Submission can take many forms including service.

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