RE: It's Eating Away At Me

RE: It's Eating Away At Me (Full Version)

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Aileen1968 -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:07:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory It may not apply to the OP at all, but just how often was the horrible-terrible-lying-cheating-thug-asshole dom getting pussy thrown at him with passion, enthusiasm, eagerness, and vigor? How often was he being offered anal sex, blow jobs, quickies before dinner, frottage, etc? I'm not blaming the 'victim' - cause she's not a victim. You say this in this thread...that it's so important and if he's not getting it thrown at him at all times then he's somewhat justified in getting it elsewhere. But then in the procuring thread you say this... quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory People make waaaaay too big a goddamned deal out of sex. So which is it? Is sex important or not?

DarkVictory -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:15:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory It may not apply to the OP at all, but just how often was the horrible-terrible-lying-cheating-thug-asshole dom getting pussy thrown at him with passion, enthusiasm, eagerness, and vigor? How often was he being offered anal sex, blow jobs, quickies before dinner, frottage, etc? I'm not blaming the 'victim' - cause she's not a victim. You say this in this thread...that it's so important and if he's not getting it thrown at him at all times then he's somewhat justified in getting it elsewhere. But then in the procuring thread you say this... quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory People make waaaaay too big a goddamned deal out of sex. So which is it? Is sex important or not? It's extremely important, but not significant. Every human being is the product of a couple of million years of successful sexual selection. It's as much a part of us as breathing. It permeates our cultures from top to bottom. Yet, it's not significant in nature.

Lockit -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:31:28 PM)
LOL... Not enough pussy or good enough pussy... so he degrades both of them and dishonors himself by lying in such a stupid way (selective anythings mutating into this brillance is what shall I say... just sad)... runs around leaving ways for her to find out, proving his communications skills suck and it's all because of millions of sucessful sexual selection that isn't that significant in nature? Oh come on! Are you her husband?

pixidustpet -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:33:44 PM)
DarkVictory....i find it somewhat confusing that you set the blame on someone not understanding that monogamy doesnt work for all, when you have this as your sigline: Do not attempt at home. Trained Owner, closed relationship. Mileage may vary. This post does not replace talking to your partner. If you are pregnant, talk to your doctor about BDSM. Equipment is no substitute for experience. Void where prohibited by law obviously, in your relationship, you expect to be treated with respect to the established standard, which is that you apparently have monogamy and a closed relationship. therefore if you found indications that your partner had been out trysting (or seeking to tryst) somewhere, it would have broken that agreement, and you would be unhappy with that situation. why, then, is it not ok when the s-type in the equation is blindsided by the action of the D-type and expresses hurt and betrayal? (all hypothetical situations, of course.) oh, and for the record? you CAN be cheated on in a non-monogamous relationship. when the status quo is supposed to be honesty about one's actions, and one spouse decides to just go off and fuck whoever...still cheating. even when you arent monogamous, it hurts. kitten, who doesnt demand monogamy but does demand honesty.

LaTigresse -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:38:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit LOL... Not enough pussy or good enough pussy... so he degrades both of them and dishonors himself by lying in such a stupid way (selective anythings mutating into this brillance is what shall I say... just sad)... runs around leaving ways for her to find out, proving his communications skills suck and it's all because of millions of sucessful sexual selection that isn't that significant in nature? Oh come on! Are you her husband? His profile does say he is in the middle of a divorce.......

Aileen1968 -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:40:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit LOL... Not enough pussy or good enough pussy... so he degrades both of them and dishonors himself by lying in such a stupid way (selective anythings mutating into this brillance is what shall I say... just sad)... runs around leaving ways for her to find out, proving his communications skills suck and it's all because of millions of sucessful sexual selection that isn't that significant in nature? Oh come on! Are you her husband? His profile does say he is in the middle of a divorce....... Ahhh...pussy frenzy.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:41:53 PM)
Haven't read the "procuring" thread have ya? quote: ORIGINAL: pixidustpet DarkVictory....i find it somewhat confusing that you set the blame on someone not understanding that monogamy doesnt work for all, when you have this as your sigline: Do not attempt at home. Trained Owner, closed relationship. Mileage may vary. This post does not replace talking to your partner. If you are pregnant, talk to your doctor about BDSM. Equipment is no substitute for experience. Void where prohibited by law obviously, in your relationship, you expect to be treated with respect to the established standard, which is that you apparently have monogamy and a closed relationship. therefore if you found indications that your partner had been out trysting (or seeking to tryst) somewhere, it would have broken that agreement, and you would be unhappy with that situation. why, then, is it not ok when the s-type in the equation is blindsided by the action of the D-type and expresses hurt and betrayal? (all hypothetical situations, of course.) oh, and for the record? you CAN be cheated on in a non-monogamous relationship. when the status quo is supposed to be honesty about one's actions, and one spouse decides to just go off and fuck whoever...still cheating. even when you arent monogamous, it hurts. kitten, who doesnt demand monogamy but does demand honesty.

Aileen1968 -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:43:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory It may not apply to the OP at all, but just how often was the horrible-terrible-lying-cheating-thug-asshole dom getting pussy thrown at him with passion, enthusiasm, eagerness, and vigor? How often was he being offered anal sex, blow jobs, quickies before dinner, frottage, etc? I'm not blaming the 'victim' - cause she's not a victim. You say this in this thread...that it's so important and if he's not getting it thrown at him at all times then he's somewhat justified in getting it elsewhere. But then in the procuring thread you say this... quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory People make waaaaay too big a goddamned deal out of sex. So which is it? Is sex important or not? It's extremely important, but not significant. Every human being is the product of a couple of million years of successful sexual selection. It's as much a part of us as breathing. It permeates our cultures from top to bottom. Yet, it's not significant in nature. How can something be extremely important, but not significant? The rest of your words were just rambling in the hopes that no one notices that you really didn't make any sense or say anything.

tsatske -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:48:36 PM)
Of course you can be cheated on in a non-monogamous relationship. Really, they are all the same, mononamous, non-monogamous, no difference - people expect their partners to abide by their relationship agreements, no matter what they are. And, as an aside - relationships do sometimes survive infedelity, but i have NEVER known of a non-monogamous relationship to survive cheating. It just to close to the heart of what the relationship IS to that couple, usually.

eyesopened -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:50:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory It's extremely important, but not significant. .......... Yet, it's not significant in nature. Well ask anyone who suffers from the weeks of high pollen count and i would beg to differ...sex is VERY significant in nature. Herd bulls rut and the rut is very significant. The birds preen, posture, and dance. Wolves selectively breed based on heirarchy. No, Sir, with all respect, sex is significant in nature, it's just not significant to YOU.

DarkVictory -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 1:55:06 PM)
Why sex is important... carries on the species, bonds couples/triads/tribes, etc. it is still not significant, in that the act has no meaning, no inherent value or meaning or worth. Who, what, where, when, how are of no more significance than a sneeze. Sex is just sex. We make up the rules around it, and then expect people to conform. The problem is that the rules are made up, and do not inhere to humanity.

charlotteS -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 2:23:39 PM)
I would venture to say though that the rules weren't just randomly created. They hold great significance. Why do you think that the people who seem to be able to embrace open relationships are those that feel secure in their status with their partner. I would argue that a woman afraid of her partner cheating isn't just being an irrational bitch but responding to a biological drive that has been transformed into a social convention. If we look at this strictly objectively I would suggest that men have a biological drive to sleep with more than one woman (increasing his chances of procreation) while a woman has a biological drive to keep the man close, so he will use his resources to care for the one baby she can carry at a time. As we moved into our modern culture these hardwired responses became understood in terms of social conventions or stereotypes; "women always seek commitment, make a big deal out of sex etc., " and "men are just horndogs, can't commit etc." Of coures this does not describe everyone so please do not be offended but I think it can help to explain why so many people DO see sex as significant. It's been significant since we existed, as a tool to be used for or against us. It is only as we became more aware of and able to analyze and control our own behavior that it has been possible to treat sex as insignificant because we can create our own versions of security. We can explain in words to our partner what our actions do not inherently represent, that their status with us is in fact secure.

pixidustpet -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 2:52:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel Haven't read the "procuring" thread have ya? no....and now i'm a-skeered to! [;)] leave me alone in my happy cloud land, i'm just starting out in a new relationship!!! giggling kitten

kiwisub12 -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 3:14:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Why sex is important... carries on the species, bonds couples/triads/tribes, etc. it is still not significant, in that the act has no meaning, no inherent value or meaning or worth. Who, what, where, when, how are of no more significance than a sneeze. Sex is just sex. We make up the rules around it, and then expect people to conform. The problem is that the rules are made up, and do not inhere to humanity. disagree vigorously with this post - sex for most people has meaning and value. At its most basic, it is scratching an itch - which makes the itch go away. I would say that has value. At its best sex brings human beings closer together, building trust and pleasure, closeness and joy - to say nothing of relieving stress. It can make you laugh and cry - at the same time. It can make the most homely man or woman appear beautiful - and for most of the human population that is worth a lot!! It reinforces our humanity, and our connection to each other. If we didn't have sex we would miss out on so much - if for no other reason than for that 20 or 30 minutes (or more) two (or more) people are concentrating on each other, blocking out the rest of the world , and giving each other pleasure.

CalifChick -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 3:25:57 PM)
How did this thread go from "he signed up on a married-but-looking-to-cheat website" to "if she had put out more, he wouldn't have strayed and wouldn't have betrayed her"? Yeah, cuz a grown man is never responsible for his own decisions and his own actions - it's always someone else's fault. Just ask my ex, he is king of that. Cali

Lockit -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 3:33:20 PM)
Rutting like an animal is different than taking a rutting mentality. We may be of the animal kingdom... but we are supposed to be of a higher mental/emotional ability. When rutting includes lying and the like... I have to agree it is rutting and lower mentality. Who doesn't like to rut? But to leave off everything else... no thanks. I guess it comes down to you get what you put into it. Just a rut, doesn't matter so much... Rules within a relationship are built on the two or more involved. Breaking those rules or agreements isn't the fault of others who have rules, but the one breaking the commitment to the one they committed to.

xxblushesxx -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 3:35:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Shrug. My point is that if she was regularly and enthusiastically putting new pussy in his bed it might well have gone differently. OK, I have to say ewww. (sorry) quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Trying to impose a vanilla monogamous model of relationships on people clearly doesn't work for many. If the submissive is crystal clear about that, she can gain a lot of comfort and security from acting in accord. Perhaps in some cases. Not mine.

DarkVictory -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 3:35:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Rutting like an animal is different than taking a rutting mentality. We may be of the animal kingdom... but we are supposed to be of a higher mental/emotional ability. When rutting includes lying and the like... I have to agree it is rutting and lower mentality. Who doesn't like to rut? But to leave off everything else... no thanks. I guess it comes down to you get what you put into it. Just a rut, doesn't matter so much... Rules within a relationship are built on the two or more involved. Breaking those rules or agreements isn't the fault of others who have rules, but the one breaking the commitment to the one they committed to. Supposed to be? Says who?

Lockit -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 3:39:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Rutting like an animal is different than taking a rutting mentality. We may be of the animal kingdom... but we are supposed to be of a higher mental/emotional ability. When rutting includes lying and the like... I have to agree it is rutting and lower mentality. Who doesn't like to rut? But to leave off everything else... no thanks. I guess it comes down to you get what you put into it. Just a rut, doesn't matter so much... Rules within a relationship are built on the two or more involved. Breaking those rules or agreements isn't the fault of others who have rules, but the one breaking the commitment to the one they committed to. Supposed to be? Says who? LOL okay fine... point taken... but I do believe science does prove the human brain a bit more than the brain of other animals. Higher thinking... ya know... but like I said... rules are for whoever decides to have them... breaking an agreement... well... whatever. You don't want rules... you want to live as you do... go for it... for me and my house... we shall have rules that at the least consist of honor, honesty and love.

Prinsexx -> RE: It's Eating Away At Me (6/17/2008 3:44:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit LOL... Not enough pussy or good enough pussy... so he degrades both of them and dishonors himself by lying in such a stupid way (selective anythings mutating into this brillance is what shall I say... just sad)... runs around leaving ways for her to find out, proving his communications skills suck and it's all because of millions of sucessful sexual selection that isn't that significant in nature? Oh come on! Are you her husband? Well some poor woman has to marry a sociobiologist and satisfy his need to further the species. [:D]

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