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RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 8:32:42 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Mine started with "one-handed" books. i found i needed more than just straight sex to get to where i wanted to go, and it seemed to take weirder and weirder stuff to get me there.  I still didn't know what i was thought.

I finally wanted to start dating again after a disasterous marriage, and signed up for one of the vanilla sites - my profile included the phrase that i didn't want to be in charge of the relationship - just to have some input - and low and behold - the first reply i got was from a man asking me if i had considered being a submissive, and gave some examples. I was so turned on i couldn't stand it!
I talked to my shrink about it (it really was a disasterous marraige) and he told me that there were sites on the internet if i was interested in following this path. i was freaked out , but did a search and came up with collarme, and put up a profile. I found my Sir almost right away, dived into a 24/7 relationship with him,  and have met some very interesting people, both on line and realtime.

i just wish i had found it sooner.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 9:22:21 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		 


My earliest memory is at prep school, somewhere between age 4 and 11. We played cowboys and indians in the playground and took prisoners - the bugger is I genuinely can't remember whether I was excited at capturing someone or being captured or both! But I can remember it as feeling somehow "different" and exciting.

As life progressed so did the same excitement over bondage and that led to the whole rich tapestry of bdsm


(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 9:35:01 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyMastersgirl

Your answer please.


For me, I think the question that would make more sense is

"How did you find out about the BDSM community"

When you state Lifestyle... from the time I became intimately involved with Alandra our lifestyle had a component of BDSM and D/s.  We never really labeled it since we didn't need to for the sake of communicating our intimate life with others.  We just live our life and enjoy the growth that came with it.

The learning of the BDSM cummunity was a bit of a twist.  I never really consider or thought that others might live the way we did.  Actually, didn't really care.  It was about 10 years ago that Alandra came my Den and showed me an essay.  It was talking about a person's relationship with their partner and I found myself agreeing and also expressing that they hadn't experienced a few things yet that Her and I have, but they wouldn't be getting their based on what I was reading.  Alandra then shared with me where she found this essay and ironcially it was from Castle Realms.  It was then I discovered the existence of the BDSM community.  At the time I was mildly interested and curious to learn more and began to do alittle more research.  My first thought was that this could be an opportunity to learn and grow in different areas from where we where at the time.  Those initial expectations was realized, my only disappointment came when I increased my expectation beyond what was realistic to expect from the BDSM community.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 9:36:32 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I was looking for cyber sex and fell into some kinky aol chatrooms.  The rest is history.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 10:35:27 AM   
paincyprus


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		i think we just discovered it, or i did! my sub knew a few things and in the begining of our relationship he said why dont you tie me up? so i did, then why dont you try this or that and we bought some toys then i researched it because i had heard a few things but nothing like what i found out! one thing lead to another and now its just a way of life

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 11:43:05 AM   
MusicalBoredom


Posts: 620
Joined: 5/8/2007
From: Louisiana/New York
Status: offline 		I was into spanking for as long as I can remember.  Had club where I was the "leader" and some neighbors had to report their misdeeds once a week. Later when I started dating I spanked every one of them but mostly in a playful way.  Then a bunch of us went to see Rocky Horror when it first came to town.  All of my friends laughed and said I probably wanted a castle/dungeon like that. I said I did.

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 11:51:08 AM   
SeattleDom118


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		I was 16 and really big into goth, at a show at the Green door, i met this lesbian girl named Cozzi. For some reason we hit it off, and became friends for a few months till she left for LA. She was big time into BDSM and got me interested. It wasn't till the web was prolific tho that I really began to get deep into it.

(in reply to MusicalBoredom)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 1:28:08 PM   
blackbeard519


Posts: 19
Joined: 6/8/2008
Status: offline 		When I was a teenager sneaking looks through my dad's Penthouse and Playboys I saw an ad for The Peril's of Pauline that showed a drawing of a woman bound, topless being flogged.

It was an intense, visceral reaction.  

I've been hooked since that day.

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 1:45:58 PM   
XxSpiderxX


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		I'd always fantisised about controling and causing pain, I never understood why I got such pleasure from torturing my younger siblings, then while I was in prison I began doing a psychological profile on myself, I figured out how to seperate my personality so that I only let certian parts out at certian times. I'd been into the lifestyle before  I got locked up, then when I got out I was able to actually care about my subs. I found out my mother was also in the lifestyle and is a sub, happily (at times) owned. She introduced me to Shabari and I knew, finally, then what I wanted out of life.

_____________________________

-Master Spider


"Expect my visit when darkness falls, the night, I think, is best for hiding all"

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 2:13:21 PM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		got into goth music when i was around 11 and started reading a lot of books recommended by bands on the insides of album covers or referenced in the reviews in NME and stuff.  Always knew I liked being held down whilst kissed when I was a teenager and was fascinated with the idea of being tied up from being very young.  Read the Story of O until the pages fell out of my book and then when I went to uni I went to a club in Leeds called La Phonographique.  Met a guy who was living in Bradford at the time who was very into BDSM, hooked up and haven't looked back.  (Thank you Adam - whereever you are now!)

(in reply to XxSpiderxX)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 3:30:49 PM   
eepsy


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline 		Waaaayyyy back, someone was mentioning something about bdsm while we were chatting in class and I thought it would be something I like and went exploring online. Never looked back since. :)

(in reply to blackbeard519)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 3:40:46 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		i was maybe in second grade when a few of us found some men's magazines that someone had thrown out, lots of cartoons in there with women being tied up and spanked, and "forced" to wear revealing clothing, etc.  even at that age, i liked it.

i'm nearly 45 now, and STILL like it.

kitten

(in reply to eepsy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 6:07:38 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		When I was 16, my boyfriend and I were very open with each other.
Sometimes, he'd lay on the bed and I would straddle him and put my hands around his neck... I'd start to choke him slowly - watching his eyes and his color the whole time.
Other times he'd stand in his room at attention, waiting for instructions from his "commander"
*sighs*.  If only we'd had more privacy, the fun we could have had.

A bit after that I saw the story of O, like probably most other's on this site.  Only I never wanted to be the one serving.  OH, and lets not forget the copies of "Variations" that my mother hid under her mattress...
I remember the one time hanging out with a friend and his brother in law.. the two of them got it in their heads they were going to tie me up.. well, it doesn't matter HOW big they are, or HOW many- it just "ain't happening"..lol  .. but, I am more than willing to tie someone else

Lady Jag

< Message edited by PsyVamp -- 6/15/2008 6:08:31 PM >

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 7:32:13 PM   
hiswetness


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline 		When i was 30, i actually met a Dom in a vanilla setting.  He approached me, got my number, asked me on a date.  At dinner he explained he was a dominant. At that time i thought he was "extreme", although many of the things he discussed with me intrigued me.  We never played, but we became very good friends. 

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 9:44:03 PM   
Midnght


Posts: 98
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Hahaha japanese anime. Friend of mine passed me a copy of an old flick called Pop Chaser part of a series called Cream Lemon. No english all japanese girl gets tied up and raped rather gently it's a funny story. from there I looked and found other movies books etc (this was no small feat back in the 80's) and well it just grew form there.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/15/2008 10:52:34 PM   
oneverygoodgirl


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline 		A predatory much older man who neglected to tell me that there even was a scene. It was awesome.

_____________________________

"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." - George Carlin

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/16/2008 12:00:55 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		when i lived in London the guy i was dating started a club called Torture Garden...i dont know if it still exists, but ill always be grateful to him for opening that door.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to oneverygoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/16/2008 5:50:00 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		I discovered totally by accident when I was in college I really engoyed dominating/controling girlfriends and got a buz from their enjoyment. Years later I stumbled onto online communities like C.M and began to explore.

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/16/2008 6:11:17 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		It was from doing a fantasy fulfillment thing for an old g/f.  We eventually met someone (who introduced us to so much more that night) who asked us how long we had been in the lifestyle.  It was the first either of us heard about it.  After that night, I was hooked, because I learned so much about what confused me about me.  We went our separate ways, but I've been going down this path ever since.

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? - 6/16/2008 11:26:21 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

when i lived in London the guy i was dating started a club called Torture Garden...i dont know if it still exists, but ill always be grateful to him for opening that door.

I used to love Torture Garden!!

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 60
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