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dont know what to put here lol - 6/14/2008 10:22:55 PM   
idontknowdou


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		ok something just really bothered me so i want others opinions. is it wrong that a sub has never been owned yet espeically one that just learning.yes i been around for some time now but i not the type to just jump into things.even a sub should still watch out for themself so they dont get into a bad sitiuation. could say im more careful. than anything.
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/14/2008 10:54:09 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Unless you wre born into slavery, it would be hard to say that it's bad that you haven't been owned yet.

The beauty of consent is that you get to do whatever works for you.  Use your good sense and start listening inside yourself.

Unless you can't trust yourself- and then you shouldn't be getting into any sort of relationship.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to idontknowdou)
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/15/2008 9:06:00 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Please share with the group what has disturbed you. It will make it easier to give advice/opinions/smart arse comments.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/15/2008 10:34:50 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: idontknowdou
is it wrong that a sub has never been owned yet espeically one that just learning.
Nope, not at all.  Honestly, I tend to be more concerned about people that have been collared or owned multiple times.

I'm a person that takes things slowly. I want to get to know my partner. Figure out if I like him without BDSM or D/s clouding the picture. I was with the same man for six years and never accepted his collar. I felt that the relationship was just never in the right place for it.

In 15 years, I've been with three Dominants and I've only been collared to one. He's the man that I'm now married to.

So, it's all about what you're comfortable with and what you're looking for in a relationship.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/15/2008 10:36:15 AM >

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(in reply to idontknowdou)
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/15/2008 11:53:57 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		how can it be wrong.  im wondering where this question is coming from.

finding the right person takes time and care to reach the point where you feel safe to submit yourself.  being 'new' doesnt mean youre clueless, you have, im assuming a pretty good handle on who you are and what you want, in the right hands those instincts and needs will fall into place.  the fact that you havent found those right hands yet is no reflection on you, other than the fact that youre being very smart and taking your time.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/15/2008 12:21:10 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		For me, a sub with less experience is more fun in some ways.  I enjoy being the first to try something with a partner, whether it's in the kinky world or the vanilla one.  The most important thing is that you've looked deep within yourself and are sure of what you want whether it's part-time play or a 24/7 relationship.  I think you're doing the right thing by moving slowly and taking care of yourself. 
 
Best of luck.

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Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
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"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to idontknowdou)
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/15/2008 4:11:28 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Frankly I don't see your issue being wrong in the sense that you don't jump into things. It sounds like you are taking an active responsibility for your personal safety and proceeding slow enough to where you learn what you can before making any decisions. Far too often we hear of a sub thinking they know enough and jump into a situation which isn't suited to them. So once that relationship ends badly, they are wandering around in misery and blaming everyone else and forgetting to see they made an incorrect choice at that time. We all make mistakes and some make bigger mistakes then others. 

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Promiscuous boy you already know
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(in reply to idontknowdou)
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/15/2008 6:55:37 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: idontknowdou

ok something just really bothered me so i want others opinions. is it wrong that a sub has never been owned yet espeically one that just learning.yes i been around for some time now but i not the type to just jump into things.even a sub should still watch out for themself so they dont get into a bad sitiuation. could say im more careful. than anything.


idontknowdou, it helps me better understand the writer if T/they use at least an approximation of proper grammar.
 
A capital letter to indicate the beginning of a sentence, for example. 
 
But that's an aside.
 
How could it be 'wrong' that a submissive has never been owned?  Every collared submissive was once unowned. i've never been collared, and no Dom has ever suggested that this in any way devalues me -- Some even prefer it.
 
pinksugarsub

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(in reply to idontknowdou)
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/15/2008 8:58:09 PM   
idontknowdou


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		ty for the opinions. they helped alot especially knowing i have like 20things going through my brain at once at times.

(in reply to pinksugarsub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/16/2008 1:16:01 AM   
eepsy


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline 		Why does not having been owned before bother you, even? I doubt anyone's going to fault you for thinking through your decisions and making careful considerations.

(in reply to idontknowdou)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/16/2008 1:24:11 AM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		I've been with my Sir for 18 months and I'm not owned.... nor will I be and I'm very happy with our relationship. I'm His, He knows I'm His and that's all that matters to us. If that's what you desire then I'm sure it will come with time. You know what they say... all good things come to those who wait.

girly

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happily forever one

(in reply to eepsy)
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RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/16/2008 1:25:50 AM   
eepsy


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

I've been with my Sir for 18 months and I'm not owned.... nor will I be and I'm very happy with our relationship. I'm His, He knows I'm His and that's all that matters to us. If that's what you desire then I'm sure it will come with time. You know what they say... all good things come to those who wait.

girly


Sorry, I'm getting a little confused. You're his but you're not owned. I understand not collared, but not owned?

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/16/2008 1:35:03 AM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

I've been with my Sir for 18 months and I'm not owned.... nor will I be.. I'm His, He knows I'm His and that's all that matters to us.


I'm with eepsy.  Being someone's makes you theirs, at least according to the English language.  Then again, relationships defy all logic sometimes!  :)

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/16/2008 1:37:02 AM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: idontknowdou
is it wrong that a sub has never been owned


I'd have to go with no, it's not wrong that a sub hasn't been owned.

(in reply to idontknowdou)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/16/2008 1:38:07 AM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		For example, one can be submissive as soon as one has such thoughts.  It can be long before puberty, even.  And more than likely, that submissive has never been owned.  They're not 'wrong' because of it.

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/16/2008 5:26:39 AM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		*fast reply*

i've yet to be owned, but have had play partners. i'm pretty picky about my relationships Ds or vanilla. Nothing wrong with just taking a step back and looking. IMO Just dont be too scared hun, you could miss out on a lot. :)

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: dont know what to put here lol - 6/16/2008 5:48:34 AM   
Puppy4goodHome


Posts: 1448
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: Beachwood Ohio and a few others
Status: offline 		Nothing is wrong with it you need to be picky on who you will alow to Collar you some will disagree or get upset at how i say that but it is the truth just like a Domme Or Dom has to be picky on who they will collar you have to know that it is right and that you are not a bad match with your Mistress

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Pup on the loose better watch out

ross.g
Puppster
puppy

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)
Profile   Post #: 17
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