RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

OscarHargraves -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/1/2005 8:54:21 PM)

My user name is a lie, or at least it's not my real given name, but that's for obvious reasons. Other than that I think maybe I was a little too honest in putting in there that I was married. I know there are some ladies who don't even seem to want to talk to me because of that but I felt it was important for everyone to know UP FRONT who I was and where I was coming from. My life is different. My experiences are different and I don't apologize for that. Luckily I'm not looking for a Sub (I have a really wonderful one right now) so I don't care if some people get bent about my marital status. I just enjoy the conversations here and I'm learning a lot of interesting and helpful information.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/1/2005 9:00:04 PM)

LOL. Love that Faramir!

The only lie on my profile is that "I am not looking for a relationship at this time." I am NOT actively looking, but hey, if the right man was available, I would certainly pursue him. :)

The commonest fudge is the men over 50 lying about their age. Then showing a picture that utterly goes against that stated age, AS IF we won't figure it out!

Lack of experience is the other one I see often, and I wish it were otherwise, since that is the one that can lead to actual injury. Though I harbor the Deep Fantasy of being able to actually do one of those guys the way they ask......... "want me to rape you with my biggest strap on? meet BOB!" heh.

But I digress........ I think people alter their profiles just as they will decorate their resumes, to make themselves look better, and more desirable. No matter what, until there is face to face contact, there is always going to be some use of imagination to fill in the missing bits, and why not fill them in with nice things? At least, that's the reasoning.




jro2020 -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/1/2005 11:12:05 PM)

No lies here. Especially in the "skills" section, At least in the dom skills section it is all stuff that I am already supposed to be an expert on. Many of them are dangerous. I cannot imagine anyone who would put something there that is not true, could possibly be a Dom who would be safe to be with.
The "interests" section I can see putting down something I have not done yet, if i am interested in trying it. I didn't do that, but i could see someone doing it, especially someone who is new to the scene.



NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/1/2005 11:15:33 PM)

No, I haven't. Brutal honesty has always been one of my assets/faults. I have no reason to lie.



wipmebeetme100 -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 12:05:20 AM)

quote:

Neither one of these statements sits well with me. Puffery in Your profile is akin to puffery in Your resume


Nope....do not lie in my profile. Have embelished a bit on the resume.



sweetpettjenny -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 3:14:33 AM)

Ive not lied , nor would I ...I expect to meet people , so why would i give them a false perception of who i am.



AlderTheKitty -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 4:54:11 AM)

yeah the the sytem on bondage is a bit better and more in depth then on here but you have to pay for allot of stuff so it's not really that good

the thing is if i lie and say that i like hevavy ban but have never done it on here there is no way to know that so the pretence her is that you have some idea that you can handle it if you post it

as for lieing about who i am never i want someone who wants ME and not a fake me the real ME i just wouldn't get any thing out of lieing about my age or any thing else for that matter



LadyAngelika -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 5:10:59 AM)

My opinion is that if someone has to lie about themselves, it's too hide a part of themselves they don't like.

- LA



thetammyjo -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 6:10:11 AM)

I'm jumping into this a bit late but if someone lies or "stretches the truth" in the profile then is rejected when they don't match what the other person is looking for or when they are told "I don't talk to liars" then the person who was dishonest in the profile has no one to blame but him/herself.




LadyAngelika -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 6:17:02 AM)

quote:

The only lie on my profile is that "I am not looking for a relationship at this time." I am NOT actively looking, but hey, if the right man was available, I would certainly pursue him. :)


That isn't a lie. I had that on my profile for a long time and it was the honest truth. I don't go out looking for love, I wait for opportunities to present themselves and then I pounce on them. A man did come along and I did pursue him and snatched him up!

- LA



FTopinMichigan -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 6:33:10 AM)

I'm honest to a fault. [;)]

I've been told that my approach, in response toward others, may be too blunt, and that I might learn to "sugar coat" it (the truth), but I'm just not the sugary type.

My profile is honest, although my photo is a few years old. I explain that in the profile though, and it's there for a reason. In view of "many" not actually reading profile (or at least comprehending it), I like to have the old photo (which is larger than I am currently). It's a way to find those that may be sincere in getting to know the person, over the (picture) "body" and it also helps to screen out those that will actually read the full profile. My current physically change is clearly listed within the profile. (I just haven't taken new photos, too.) I have yet to correspond with a man that actually comprehended what was listed within my profile, and it's in plain old English, and not that difficult to understand.

In a business sense, I've been told to remove my graduate degree from my resume, as I may appear to be overqualified with too much education. I can't even lie about that...as an omission is the same to me, as lying. I'm also still paying for THAT degree. [:D]

The greatest amount of lying that I've encountered has been men lying about their age. They are much, MUCH older than their stated age, or have lived a VERY, VERY hard life.

I list my age, but when asked my age, I might've said mid forties, versus stating my actual age, but it's nowhere near the man that told me he was "over 40" when in fact he was 58. Truth....I suppose, but still a way to sneak in a fib.

K



DesertRat -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 7:11:28 AM)

Since I am looking for a realtime long-term relationship, what would be the benefit of lying or embellishing? I would have to 'fess up eventually, right? Honesty comes naturally to me, and I don't consider it a special virtue. To me, it's like using my turn signal. I do it, but don't expect a medal for that. My main profile pic is less than a year old and accurately represents me, but I added another one (or two...I forget..) that really gives the viewer an idea of my daily appearance.

So, being honest is important. On the other hand, I try to keep the narrative on this side of the "too much information" line. However, I am quite forthcoming when in dialogue mode with a prospective mate.

Bob



swtnsparkling -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 7:26:31 AM)

My profile is totaly true. I am married, Yes my Hub knows all about this part of my life and anyone who doesn't believe that can ask my former Dom/Domme or any other D/s friends i have, he's met so many of them. i do not put up weight or interests b/c i feel it isnt any ones business _as my profile also states i am not looking for anything other than friendsand why would a friend ask how much i weight lol
And Yes! when i was 8 i stole a bird from a neighbor, the police came to the door and i swore i didn't take it, right up until the time that dam bird flew by my head LOL



WickedKev -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 8:22:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Thus far I've been 100% me and honest. What's the fun in lying when the truth about me shocks even more.


I so agree with this statement. Have never even lied about my age, I am an aged perv slowly turning into a dirty old man



MadameDahlia -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 10:57:14 AM)

I have not... nor will I.

I want to illustrate who I am so that there are no huge surprises down the line. I'm very particular and I would dislike being in a situation where it seemed I had found someone - only to realize that we would not mesh as well as our profiles had reflected.



pollux -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 11:11:55 AM)

Nope.



perverseangelic -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 11:12:37 AM)

Have I lied?
Sorta.

Before I was legal, I lied about my age to gain access to places I wasn't able to.

Now?
Not really. Occationally there are misscommuniations between me and others that make it appear like I'm lying though. For example, on Alt there's a checklist of "activities." It doesn't really specify if they are activities enjoyed, participated in, that youa re willing to do, etc.

I've checked everything I'd be willing to do, and left unchecked only the stuff I would -never ever ever- do. Many people have read that as "I activly participate in [ x activity ]" and are disapointed when I say otherwise.

It almost feels like I'm lying, but it's something I'm not sure how to clarify. I think it's a fault of the medium.


As to lying in my profile, I don't see the point. I want to meet real people. Lying is just likely to get me into situations that are no good.



LadyAngelika -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 11:28:27 AM)

quote:

It almost feels like I'm lying, but it's something I'm not sure how to clarify. I think it's a fault of the medium.


Perhaps put that disclaimer in your profile? When I had a "seeking" profile, I used to put the disclaimer: "When you take a look my ALT Fetish Checklist, you will get an idea of what I like, not what I expect." I think that took care of a lot of misunderstandings.

Also, ALT might be interested in your perception of their checklist.

- LA



chicagoleo -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 11:44:52 AM)

My profile is completely true as well. What is the point of lying ?

edit: actually, I take that back. My cm name chicagoleo may lead some to believe that my name is leo, when in fact it is not. But I would certainly clear this up if there was confusion. I would hope my real name isn't too much of a let down.



perverseangelic -> RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? (11/2/2005 11:51:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


Perhaps put that disclaimer in your profile? When I had a "seeking" profile, I used to put the disclaimer: "When you take a look my ALT Fetish Checklist, you will get an idea of what I like, not what I expect." I think that took care of a lot of misunderstandings.

Also, ALT might be interested in your perception of their checklist.

- LA


Thank you for the advice. It probably -is- time to update that profile again.

I tried something similar for a while ("The selected activities are ones I would engage in, not necesarially ones I have tried or ones I expect") but it had about as much effect as the first sentence of my profile there. ("I am very happily partner and we are currently looking for people to play with -both- of us")

I don't use alt a whole lot 'cuase I'm unwilling to pay, but I think I shall e-mail them, if only to ease my conscience.

Thank you! :)



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125