Dom wants younger sub too

Dom wants younger sub too (Full Version)

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caliblonde -> Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 7:04:10 PM)
I am new to the lifestyle and moving in with my Dom this month. He is looking for a younger sub also because he wants more children. The question I have for everyone is should I help him find the new sub? [:o]He says yes and I say no. All input will be greatly appreciated.

Evanesce -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 7:09:12 PM)
quote: I am new to the lifestyle and moving in with my Dom this month. He is looking for a younger sub also because he wants more children. The question I have for everyone is should I help him find the new sub? He says yes and I say no. All input will be greatly appreciated. If you're living with this guy, and the "new" sub would be living with this guy, then you'd BETTER be involved in locating the new girl, because you're going to have to live with her, too. Not just him. For us, I'm the one doing ALL the searching for our next slave, and He only gets to meet those who pass "the Denise test." The more important question here, though, is whether or not this is something you're ok with in the first place, or if you're just going along with it to keep him happy. Have you covered all the bases on this, such as what happens to you once the children start coming?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 7:24:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evanesce If you're living with this guy, and the "new" sub would be living with this guy, then you'd BETTER be involved in locating the new girl, because you're going to have to live with her, too. Not just him. For us, I'm the one doing ALL the searching for our next slave, and He only gets to meet those who pass "the Denise test." The more important question here, though, is whether or not this is something you're ok with in the first place, or if you're just going along with it to keep him happy. Have you covered all the bases on this, such as what happens to you once the children start coming? Ditto to the max.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 7:48:50 PM)
I don't think it's the subs job to bear his kids unless he wants to marry her and do it right. kids will also severly interfear and hamper any master sub time once they come.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 8:04:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion I don't think it's the subs job to bear his kids unless he wants to marry her and do it right. kids will also severly interfear and hamper any master sub time once they come. Ahem, do it right?

FangsNfeet -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 8:40:38 PM)
Just on experience from owning pets, if the cats don't get along, the house dose not get along. It would be nice if the two of you picked someone that you would get along and have fun with as well.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 8:42:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caliblonde I am new to the lifestyle and moving in with my Dom this month. He is looking for a younger sub also because he wants more children. The question I have for everyone is should I help him find the new sub? [:o]He says yes and I say no. All input will be greatly appreciated. I must agree with the others. If you were smart, you'd be apart of his search so that you know who else is coming into the house and why. He may want only a breeder, he may want her to be something more. Either way, you should know the situation thats evolving around you. If you don't, and things turn sour for you, you'll have only yourself to blame. quote: ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion I don't think it's the subs job to bear his kids unless he wants to marry her and do it right. kids will also severly interfear and hamper any master sub time once they come. To tell the truth, feline, why would he want to marry a breeder if all he wants from her is an heir. That, to me, is like saying you can have the steak, but you have to by the rest of the cow as well. And what does "marry her a do it right" mean anyway? If he did marry the breeder then where would that put caliblonde? Would it demote her to being the beta in the house? These are things she needs to worry about.

OscarHargraves -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 8:45:17 PM)
If you are going to be his Sub then you should have some say in who else moves into the house. You'll want to get along with her and be able to function together. That DOES make things run a lot smoother. However if you are his SLAVE then you don't have any say in this and you will either accept his decisions or leave.

bladerunner5 -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 8:49:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caliblonde I am new to the lifestyle and moving in with my Dom this month. He is looking for a younger sub also because he wants more children. The question I have for everyone is should I help him find the new sub? [:o]He says yes and I say no. All input will be greatly appreciated. Um, were you okay with this search in the first place? Because if you aren't, then my answer is let him do his own damn search and his own packing (for when you boot his ass out) too. Assuming you're cool and were involved with the decision for him to have more kids by a younger sub, then I'd ask what your gut is telling you. Then I'd say to consider some things. Are the new sub and children going to live with you? If not, then what will the arrangement be? If you're going to have any contact with her, then I'd highly suggest having at least something to do with the search. Will you be doing any of the child-rearing? How do you feel about raising someone else's children? Yeah, I know they're your partner's kids too, but for some people, it's very different. What are the consequences of helping or not helping? Is your partner going to be resentful that you're not helping more? What's he going to be like, if that's the case? What, exactly, constitutes "helping"? I can envision several things. I'm not sure I could do it, but I like Evanesce's approach, where she's the one doing the searching for her partner, so she's already "approved" anyone he gets to consider. There's writing the ad for him and letting him deal with all the replies. There's helping with the screening. There's letting him do the searches but going on the first 'date' with him so the potential new mate gets to meet you too. There's doing the search all on your own. And so on. What if he finds someone he's crazy about and you're... well, not? Do you get veto power? Does his vote win out, with you stuck with a partner-in-law you don't like? If you think you're going to be the least bit resentful of her (i.e., you're not absolutely thrilled at the idea of your partner taking on another sub and raising children with her), no matter who she is, then think about either rethinking the whole arrangement or finding family therapy to help you work through this. It's going to be a challenge no matter how you go about it. Best wishes, Bladerunner "If you don't ask, how can I say yes?"

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 10:16:17 PM)
Do it right? Well there's enough single parent kids running loose, it's not fair or right to the kids to fuck someone with the intent of empregnating just so you can have kids. It's hard enough to fit in in life with out being labled and the stigma some of the other unkind things kids out of wedlock put up with. It also sets a poor moral standard to the kids, in my opnion to say oh well have sex have kids out of wedlock on purpose it's ok. Or at least some kind of comitment ceremony. If kids come into play too every one else had good questions about will the alpha slave help raise them

perverseangelic -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 10:42:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion Do it right? Well there's enough single parent kids running loose, it's not fair or right to the kids to fuck someone with the intent of empregnating just so you can have kids. It's hard enough to fit in in life with out being labled and the stigma some of the other unkind things kids out of wedlock put up with. It also sets a poor moral standard to the kids, in my opnion to say oh well have sex have kids out of wedlock on purpose it's ok. Or at least some kind of comitment ceremony. If kids come into play too every one else had good questions about will the alpha slave help raise them Wow, that's some mighty sweeping judement statments there. Why is it that we assume "marriage" is the moral state to bear children? I like two parent households because they are often (NOT always) more stable and it's nice to have multiple influences. HOWEVER two parent, to me, doesn't mean man/woman. These statements imply that children are best raised in a one man/one woman enviorment which I would say is patently false. It denies the viability of alternate family structures. The best way to change the stigma of being a child of a single parent is to choose not to listen to those stigmas, and to activly work against them. Anyway, what about surogate mothers? Someone is impregnated just to have kids, with no desire to have that child for herself. What about single men and women who want to be single and want to have children as well. Different kind of child rearing but still a workable one. In regards tot he OP, I -do- think it's a bit sketchy, based on the information here. Also, though, I am adamantly morally opposed to "breeder slaves" in the ways I have been exposed to them.

harderpls -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/1/2005 10:44:25 PM)
"enough single parent kids running around"???? wow hello 1956... I'll just take my bastard ass back to the closet now. my 2 cents on the younger sub thing is that I get the feeling that all is not cool with caliblonde and the new sub. why else would she not want to help. (I get all in my Dom's business on matters of the home but thats our relationship) it makes me wonder if this is the right D/s situation for you at all. is sounds new and already kind of rocky... don't forget you are a person and have the right to do whats right for you.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/2/2005 12:13:42 AM)
perverse I put my paws in mouth big time huh. other stuff aside I think people should think really hard though before having kids in a D/s setting. If nothing else the lack of time for Master slave things once babies come can be a huge strain. and who's gonna field the late night feedings diaper changes, and then play timegrins

cellogrrlMK -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/2/2005 12:39:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caliblonde I am new to the lifestyle and moving in with my Dom this month. He is looking for a younger sub also because he wants more children. The question I have for everyone is should I help him find the new sub? [:o]He says yes and I say no. All input will be greatly appreciated. What concerns me is this, from caliblonde's profile: quote: Well, well, well, never say never! Will soon be living the real lifestyle with name deleted, go read the profile to see it much sooner than I expected, guess that punishment actually changed my mind lol. But I now know better than to get any more. caliblonde, what does the second sentence mean? Were you punished because you originally balked at moving in with this man? If that's the case I'd think twice about moving in at all. Like bladerunner5, I was especially taken with Evanesce's post. Think very carefully what your life is going to be like once you make this move, and frankly, I wouldn't give up the lease on the apartment right away.

themischievous1 -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/2/2005 1:12:25 AM)
Hmm. I dunno. This doesn't sound exactly thrilling to me. Moving in with a man who has already determined in advance that he wants a younger woman to bear his children seems like a rather iffy proposition. Where's the security? You say you're new to the lifestyle. I say step back and think about this in a great deal more depth and listen to the rest of the gang who wrote before me. When you've answered everyone's questions with complete self honesty, (at least in your own mind), weigh in the pros and cons of this situation. If you believe this is the relationship of your dreams and it will meet your needs as it is currently outlined to you, younger sub and all, then at least you will have thought it through when you make your final decision. As to choosing the younger sub? Oh hell yeah. Your input is necessary if you seriously plan to hang around and live with them on a daily basis.

darkinshadows -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/2/2005 1:21:43 AM)
????????????? Maybe its not right for YOU, but just because you couldnt cope with the thought or the whole responsibility and the whole kit and caboodle that comes with it, doesn't make it wrong or not 'doing it right'. It's not putting your paws in your mouth, its sweeping generalisations. Wow - just Wow. Peace and Love

sweetpettjenny -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/2/2005 3:10:58 AM)
I guess i may be one of those sweeping judgement people too. First off i am a single mom raising three kids, My Ex hubby was my Master, and the father of my kids (we were married before the kids or D/s started) . He stopped talking to the kids in july and also NO child support comes my way... I kind of agree that Children shouldn't be brought up in a house that could be unstable, Remember its about The kids First, then the adults. We mold them into who they become. If he wants children so badly, why did he not wrtite that in his origional profile, It just seems sketchy to me , and i would never put myself in a situation like that , or my kids. I am very cafeful myself , because i have children , who i bring into Our lives.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/2/2005 4:22:00 AM)
Oh I completely agree that children should be raised in a stable, nurturing, interactive environment. But where on earth does that equate to "one mom, one dad, who decided to be married"?

Kasia -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/2/2005 5:49:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caliblonde I am new to the lifestyle and moving in with my Dom this month. He is looking for a younger sub also because he wants more children. The question I have for everyone is should I help him find the new sub? [:o]He says yes and I say no. All input will be greatly appreciated. You are new to the lifestyle and you are just starting relationship and he already wants to have a younger woman and a kid - how on earth does he plan to adjust all of you almost at the same time? Excuse me but your man sounds totally unrealistic to me. Developing new relationship takes time. Developing poly relationship takes time. Including children into that kind of home takes time. And not only time - much effort and good will from all of you. Not to say that those kind of relationships can go in many different ways, not only the way you plan or want them to. And he already has it all planned? Not yet knowing you and not yet even meeting her. I dont know if it came to your or his mind - there are plenty of abandoned children around who would be happy to have home. If my man wanted more kids and I was too old to have them (I am almost there), adoption would be only solution for me. But I wonder if its the child he really wants......

orfunboi -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/2/2005 6:05:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caliblonde I am new to the lifestyle and moving in with my Dom this month. He is looking for a younger sub also because he wants more children. The question I have for everyone is should I help him find the new sub? [:o]He says yes and I say no. All input will be greatly appreciated. It sounds like your not totally behind this idea or you probibly wouldn't be saying no...i would think long and hard about where your life is about to go. How long has he been in the lifestyle? Does he have any other subs? children? What kind of living arrangements is he planning? It sounds real exciting to say, well i am going to have this slave to do this and that one can have kids and i will be lord and master and everyone will be sooooo happy.....and quite another to find 2 women that can live happily together and make a family work.

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