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RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 9:22:43 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well, i cannot add any good advice as i about Never get any mail. booohooooo
just kidding

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 10:10:56 AM   
NYDiscipline


Posts: 22
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

How is it though that the ones that can't find a profile with a map & instructions ALWAYS have no problems finding their zipper by the glow of the monitor??


Who needs the glow of a monitor? Trust me...it could be welded shut and we'd turn into freaking McGyver to get it open if need be...

It's the same way we can undo a bra with one hand and not seeing what we're doing...necessity is the mother of invention...

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 10:31:37 AM   
Angrylibrarian


Posts: 214
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		This goes to something I was saying to faramir recently, that in terms of really compatible people finding one another this is a poor system because of the noise to signal ratio. Knowing that every time I'm interested in a woman I am competing with her email fatigue doesn't really sound like a good way to meet anyone. Most of the stories Ive heard of people meeting here that work out well are referral stories, someone suggesting someone else or meeting through others. what his system needs is a 'friends' netowrk like those in friendster, myspace, and facebook. Indeed it sounds like it is time for someone to invent the BDSM equivalent of friendster and myspace which would also relieve some of the liability of the site hosts. (Myspace gets more hits then google)

How many truly good matches are just ignored because theres just too much apples to apples? A persons ability to write a really good introductory email is actually more a sign they are A. good writers and B know how to manipulate people's feelings through language. that's almost the definition of a 'player' not the definiton of good face to face dominant.

(in reply to NYDiscipline)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 12:45:01 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline 		Good entry in her journal, TearCollector. Are they reading it?

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 3:00:46 PM   
BlackRobe


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		One More Winkie, Tear Collector. Let's go make somebody the Mayor of Crazy Town.

As for this thread; the only way to guarantee that you don't get any e-mails is to make yourself completely unadorable to the opposite sex, and the same sex, and completely against having any sex whatsoever. Replace your picture with a photo of rubber vomit.

So complaining because you have an embarrassment of riches is just that, an embarrassment.

(in reply to mossy)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 6:01:54 PM   
wipmebeetme100


Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

From what I'm told the deluge tends to abate after a week or so down to a manageable trickle.


Manageable trickle? The lowest number of e-mails i have received in one day is 20, and that does not happen often enough.


cathy

_____________________________

Happiness is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth
~Unknown

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 10:28:44 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

I recently met a slave here who told me she had 30 pages of unanswered mail. She spends hours a day trying to reply to everyone but just when she finishes one she has two new ones waiting. It was driving her insane. I new women received more mail then men but this seemed a bit of a stretch. So she gave me her password and I logged on to her ID. Ladies and Gentleman. OMFG!!!!


Lots of desperate guys out there, both submissive and dom. I've seen similar messages to women here that just make me bust up!

I've been here for eight months and haven't written to more than ten women - Seven of which have been from the message board as friends.

I oughta borrow a quote from Faramir to sum the whole thing up. Nah... maybe another day....


- The Ranger


< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 11/2/2005 10:30:54 PM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 11:40:58 PM   
TearCollector


Posts: 108
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		I see Kasia figured out who it was. I suppose it wasnt too hard. But I left her name out for reasons I cant explain.

I found her about 10 possible candidates. All of them quite suitable. I spoke with her on the phone today. It was a mistake. She is the real thing and now Im not sure I can do this with the same enthusiasm I started out with. To be honest, up until today I had my doubts she was actually who she said she was. So I was just having fun with this whole thing and musing myself with the process.

I started feeling an obligation to the Doms I was arranging to chat with her to verify her reality. I asked for her number and called. What I spoke to on the other end of the phone was genuine and intense sub. I was taken by storm. Now I find myslef in an awkward situation. I dont even know what to say here. I wish I had a question to ask. I dont even know if Im typing to you all or Im just typing to myself while I sort my thoughts on this.

Im in the drivers seat. She obviously put her trust in me for a reason. I would assume that if I wanted to be selfish and change the plan I could do it. What I dont know is, should I? I came her looking for a slave. I met some good people and found one that was very close to what I was looking for. I got fooled once (who hasnt). And now this accidently falls in my lap.

Im quite certain there is a wide range of thoughts on this from the readers. I dont know what I need to hear. Maybe I dont need to hear anything. Faramir comes to mind saying "FIND YOUR SACK BOY!" LOL.... But it isnt about courage. It sabout makeing the right choice. Before it was entertaining and a game. Now its potentially more. Is it violating her trust by turning and attempting to capture her? Is it stupid of me to be in this position to begin with? So, Ill figure it out tonight and make a move in the morning.

Thanks for not thrashing me on this. I started out well intentioned. It just flip flopped on me.

TC

_____________________________

BY conquering jealousy and Mastering forgiveness you will defeat loneliness.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/2/2005 11:58:38 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Why not make it eleven candidates and put yourself on the list and let her decide.

(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 12:40:01 AM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		TC -- Are you Dick Cheney or Harriet Miers? Head of the search committee and now all of a sudden you're a candidate :)

Tough pickle, honestly I would have answered that question before you started this venture. Assuming you think she can take care of herself once you've eliminated the total jerks, I'd agree with Aileen and just say add yourself as #11 and let her choose.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 1:57:46 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I advice against disclaimers like that in profiles because

a) they never work, they just lead people to post more complaint threads about why people email EVEN when they have a disclaimer

They *never* work, not for anyone? And people who wanna whinge with "complaint threads" is a separate issue.

quote:

b) it makes the person seem defensive and negative

And I disagree, I quite like subs who have the experience, knowledge and will to try and counter the many cretins out there on the Net, especially "doms", and without stooping to their level. And I don't see it as all her fault if she does "seem defensive and negative", I can also see it as realistic attempt to take back control of her *own* mail box!

As I alluded to, the disclaimer is for the sub's benefit - it doesn't even matter if the geeks never read it.... It matters that it's ok for her to have rules governing her own mailbox and to ignore those who break them. And it works best if it's a Dom/me friend who encourages her to use it this way, to set the headspace if you like, rather than have her literally waste hours trying to be polite to ignorant losers and wankers.

quote:

I'm generally against the idea of having a "match maker" because it doesn't enable the sub to do her own judgement, to make her own choices, to build the screening skills she ultimately needs for herself.

Well we know what you're against but you usually have something positive and/or insightful to offer, as well.... Not this time?

Focus.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 4:17:41 AM   
Detmastered


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline 		Aileen stop with the logic. Once our dick is involved this becomes a whole new ballgame. We are no longer the umpire above the game but a player in the game and logic is not a part of the game. Sadly I can’t tell you to go for it because Aileen is right add your name let her decide. Now I am using logic also and in the end we do not use logic nice guys finish last and there are no rules in love and war.

So you once again have to decide do what most men do. Use your small head to decide and it is always easier to ask forgiveness than permission or listen to Aileen. Of course you could give yourself a little time and see how things go between you and her for a week or so make your best play while you continue your search and then give her your list.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 5:05:59 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Detmastered

Aileen stop with the logic. Once our dick is involved this becomes a whole new ballgame. We are no longer the umpire above the game but a player in the game and logic is not a part of the game. Sadly I can’t tell you to go for it because Aileen is right add your name let her decide. Now I am using logic also and in the end we do not use logic nice guys finish last and there are no rules in love and war.

So you once again have to decide do what most men do. Use your small head to decide and it is always easier to ask forgiveness than permission or listen to Aileen. Of course you could give yourself a little time and see how things go between you and her for a week or so make your best play while you continue your search and then give her your list.



I've just always assumed that any man that shows an interest for whatever reason in a woman is just trying to get into her pants. And there's nothing wrong with that...to me that's natural and part of the "mating ritual" that occurs whether you are talking bdsm or vanilla.

(in reply to Detmastered)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 5:10:48 AM   
NYDiscipline


Posts: 22
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Detmastered

Aileen stop with the logic. Once our dick is involved this becomes a whole new ballgame. We are no longer the umpire above the game but a player in the game and logic is not a part of the game.


I guess that goes right along with the saying that "A stiff dick has no conscience..."

I'd tell her that you still have her best interests at heart- but that you're very interested after getting to know her a bit. Toss your name in the hat and see what happens. If she seems to resist the idea- be a man and just drop it quickly. That will show her that you really mean what you say. You've already showed more honor and dignity than 98% of the idiots who emailed her.

(in reply to Detmastered)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 5:10:56 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
They *never* work, not for anyone? And people who wanna whinge with "complaint threads" is a separate issue.

I've never heard anyone say or known anyone who stopped receiving undesirable emails JUST because they put a disclaimer in their profiles.

The only way that stops emails from people who don't read profiles is the block feature.

quote:

And I don't see it as all her fault if she does "seem defensive and negative", I can also see it as realistic attempt to take back control of her *own* mail box!

It's her fault because it's her profile, and it's not taking control because it's not actually going to DO anything. It's something akin to putting a sign in the window of your house saying "No phone callers from Georgia."

Now, there's a balance here as always, and perceptions can vary. Someone saying "Please only local courters and non-smokers," is different than "NO ONE under 35, NO ONE over 50, NO MARRIED MEN, NO PLAYERS, NO WANNABES"

And I've seen plenty of the latter.

If you have to scream in your profile, that means somethings irking you too far.

quote:

It matters that it's ok for her to have rules governing her own mailbox and to ignore those who break them.

Of course it is, but putting rules in profiles doesn't change what emails you get and it just says you don't know how to silently click the delete button when you get them anyway. I'm attracted to someone who knows how to deal with issues effectively, quickly, and gracefully.

Listing a litany of "No's" in a profile does none of those things, and it takes away from people learning the happy fun side of the person, which is what a profile is for.

quote:

And it works best if it's a Dom/me friend who encourages her to use it this way, to set the headspace if you like, rather than have her literally waste hours trying to be polite to ignorant losers and wankers.

I don't waste hours trying to be polite to losers and I have absolutely no listing of people who "shouldn't" email me in my profile. It's not an either/or situation.

quote:

Well we know what you're against but you usually have something positive and/or insightful to offer, as well.... Not this time?

My goal in posting is not always to be positive and/or insightful.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 6:19:39 AM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		I'm finding this thread generally pretty amusing...

Firstly, I think the supposed submissive's ad could easily be a fake one and that TearCollector is having fun with horny net geeks.

The ad photo is odd to say the least - the sub is wearing a kind of dress that would send most horny net geeks screaming from the room. The woman in question seems attractive enough, but what's with the hairstyle and apparent lack of makeup - it doesn't fit with the aforementioned attire. Amongst her wonderful reasons for wanting to hookup with someone is this gem: "I just am lonely." Beyond being grammatically awkward, that's not a great selling point to my mind - the girl is in one of the BDSM culture's hotspots and not making friends when all of her specs (young, fit, attractive, single, childless?) would indicate that she should have no problem finding friends and mates. So that's odd too. If I had a negative comment to make about her appearance, it would simply be that I would personally find her both on the short and slight side - as I like taller and fuller figured women. But hey, to each their own...

But let's assume it's all real - which I think is a stretch really...

Then TearCollector should want this young thing for himself. But then I read his profile too and he seems almost antithetical to whatever the sub in question might represent. He's well into his middle years (which would tend to disqualify him with the younger crowd, even though I would actually say it's a point in his favor because of what it means in terms of wisdom), has two kids, and a very full life of working 24/7 365 days a year. So not only does he have very little time to play but there are these two gems in his profile: "I make sacrifices for my boys that are challenging for some people to understand. A potential slave will need to embrace my choices concerning them." and "...I will note to you that I am neither lonely or in a rush." While I commend his commitment to parenthood, such commitment is actually why I find many people of my own years unacceptable as mates - I don't want kids myself, and I can't see why a young sub would rush to have an "instant" family either. The second quote leads me to believe that TearCollector is actually happy exactly as he is and unwilling to make many of the compromises that one would expect him to have to make in adding a new person to his life. Any sub of TearCollector's is clearly secondary to everything else in his life. Half of me understands and agrees with that stance, half of me thinks that compromise is necessary and that TearCollector is going to be searching a long time if he really means all of that stuff.

In the journal entry for the sub's ad TearCollector has added in all kinds of criteria to further his socialogical experiment. I mean it is interesting: here is TearCollector, a supposed Dom doing the email chores of some sub I have to assume he barely knows. Then he adds in all of this stuff to see if he can get other Doms to conform to his own requirements. And he even adds in all kinds of weird criteria that have nothing to do with anything, like this bit: "I have decided to delete any messages with pictures of men in hunting gear..." Now I happen to rarely look at men's profile, but I have looked at Padriag's because he seems like one of the brighter people on the forums and I am pretty sure that requirement would disqualify him. So that's funny: pointless criteria that rules out one of the better male catches on the site (I mean, he's a skinny bastard sure, but he seems unusually intelligent which would attract me if I were a sub woman). The killer is that most of this is explained up front on the sub's profile also - that if you write to her you are working through him. Ultimately, I am not sure what to make of either the experiment or the possible results obtained. Occasionally I have been known to reply to ads simply because I think they are fake ads and I am wondering if the person will reply at all or what revealing information a reply might contain. Even in chat conversations I find ways to bait people if I think there's a chance they are fake or misrepresenting a transgender status or whatever. So you have to be careful, there are games within games on the internet - most of it intended just to kill time.

So here is TearCollector's twist on the Turing Test - can a male Dom pretend he is the intermediary for a real female sub placing an ad on the internet and get other male Doms to believe him?

I could be wrong about all of this, but then I barely care either way. Almost as good as a the daily crossword puzzle.

(in reply to Detmastered)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 8:51:28 AM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		When I first signed up, I had a similar problem. I changed my classification to a switch (which is true but not why I am here) and it stopped immediately. Ahhh, peace and quiet. Of course, I am not looking to be found so that works for me.

(in reply to mossy)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 9:10:15 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

She obviously put her trust in me for a reason.


Because she trusts you. Hello!! Am I the only one seeing this? It is the typical Damsel in Distress move. Please help me oh big strong TearCollector. I can't possibly deal! Be my hero. Yadda, yadda.

Btw, I’m not knocking this style. I know it has worked for many girls I know. I’m just seeing it for what it is.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 9:18:26 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Ive heard of people meeting here that work out well are referral stories, someone suggesting someone else or meeting through others. what his system needs is a 'friends' netowrk like those in friendster, myspace, and facebook. Indeed it sounds like it is time for someone to invent the BDSM equivalent of friendster and myspace which would also relieve some of the liability of the site hosts. (Myspace gets more hits then google)


I've been fortunate to meet someone very special from here. Though it took time, a couple false starts and a lot of work to get to the wheat. If the idea is that friends and those that respect someone would for lack of a better explaination "vouch" for someone what is to keep the HNG's from creating a dozen fake profiles that no one else knows to support their main ID? Not like they don't change names here after they have been revealed for being an HNG, toolbox or just plain rude.

(in reply to Angrylibrarian)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Tidal wave in a female slave message box - 11/3/2005 9:18:37 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		i always knew ladies and Ladies........are hit harder than us guys......but i didn't realize it was THAT bad?

wow.

i DO feel bad for females.

i am SO happy "I" don't do such things and never did. and then male slaves wonder why they don't get replies? in 2000 emails how is ANY Domme supposed-to know whom is real?

best wishes

woofie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to TearCollector)
Profile   Post #: 40
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