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ownedgirlie -> RE: Stop it or back off....that's too intense... (6/17/2008 9:38:20 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Thank you for this owned. One of the things that I was pondering is that on those occasions where I was hanging on that edge, just as you said...... whether it be a physical edge or an emotional one, if I had not suppressed the urge to assert some control or "yellow"....how much growth might I have lost? how much could I possibly have lessened the resulting bond? Can saving yourself some discomfort in the short term carry a heavy pricetag in the long term?
In my case Erin, the lost growth would have been immeasurable. I don't have the authority, however, to decide how much growing I do or don't do. And we are both confident enough to know he can pull me out of any horrible headspace. After all this time, my trust in him is pretty damn solid, so when he says "let go", I do, completely.
This took working toward, though. I used to mentally hang onto myself, totally overwhelmed with my circumstance. Later I would cry to him that I felt like I was falling apart and couldn't let go and totally give over. He would always assure me that I would never come apart as long as I was in his hands. Over time I have come to realize that, trust that, and count on that. It's important to note, however, that this didn't happen overnight. It took a long time for me to trust him like that, and only after time and again he proved that he knew both me and himself well enough to deal with what may come.
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